Chapter 34: Unintended Complications

June 1985

[“Lenny, oh my darling Lenny, they told us you were dead ... I’ve missed you so much, I still love you!”]

“Where are you ‘Eyes’?

“I’m at Bob Swenson’s house in St Charles. He’s marrying our daughter!”

There was nothing but stunned silence for what felt like an eternity.

Iris was trying to contact Dad, but with no response. I was getting worried, as I knew he was probably driving.

Mom was flashing in hysterics, “Charlie, help us, I think Lenny had a heart attack!”

“Where are you?”

“Roosevelt Road and Fabyan Parkway, we were going to surprise you. Lenny was communicating with someone and just pulled over and grabbed his chest. Please help us!”

Jamie ran to the phone to call 911, while Bob, Linda and I ran to the backyard and took off.

I knew exactly where they were.

We decided to fly high to lessen the chances of being seen since it was still light outside. We wished we had goggles, as our eyes teared up and we had to keep our heads down to keep the wind out. Soon, I saw DuPage Airport to our left and we went lower, to about 100 feet, to stay out of air traffic. We were over a wooded area, so we felt safe. Bob saw Dad’s car and we slowed down and landed just off the road behind a sign. We ran to the car and a shocked Mom, trying to give CPR to Dad on the front seat of the car.

“How did you get here so fast?”

“Long story Ma, let us do our thing. Open dad’s shirt.”

Linda was totally in sync with me and we positioned our hands on Dad’s chest around his heart. It quickly got very warm and a minute later Dad was breathing. We heard sirens and they were getting closer. Dad opened his eyes and was gazing at Linda when a smile appeared on his face.

I told Bob to try and stall the paramedics till we finished Dad’s treatment.

He grinned, seeing Dad’s smile and went to intercept the ambulance. Mom was wide eyed as her expression went from dazed to amazed. Dad started moaning, and it wasn’t in pain.

Mom asked, “Is he going to be okay?”

Dad gasped, “Oh yes! Oh God that feels good. Oh, Oh, Ohhh I think I died and went to heaven. I’m looking at an Angel!” He was smiling widely and staring at Linda, who started giggling.

“I couldn’t have my future father-in-law dying on me,” she giggled.

“Dad, is Iris your sister?” I asked.

“Yes ... she’s my half-sister.” Dad said timidly, “It’s a long, complicated story. Before you get all upset, please let me tell you the whole story? I need to see her and talk to her first. Please?”

Bob came to the car and said the paramedics needed to look at Dad. He didn’t hear my question or Dad’s answer.

He DID notice Linda’s shell-shocked, deflated look.

Dad got checked out and the paramedics were doubtful he’d had a heart attack, saying his vitals were all perfectly normal. They asked about the person who called it in and Dad told them that Mom called her son’s house and asked them to call 911.

Dad said he would cover the charges and gave them his information. They were happy and left, suggesting strongly that he seek medical attention if he had any more problems.

Dad asked how we got there.

I told him it was a long story and we’d be glad to tell him, but that we needed a ride home. We hopped in the back seat, and headed for the house.

Greg flashed, “How’s Pops?”

“Much better now,’ I flashed back, “How’s Linda’s family doing?”

“Totally freaked out ... they saw you take off.”

“What did they say?”

Greg must have been chuckling, “Holy Shit! Holy Fucking Shit and Cool! You can guess who said what. We told them you’d explain later.”

Linda, who had been very quiet, managed a smirk, “Mom, Dad and Jessica, in that order.”

Mary laughed, “Switch Mom and Dad and you got it right. Linda, your Mom is really upset about something but won’t tell us about it till you get home. I take it you’re on your way?”

I flashed, “You might as well order the pizzas, I’m sure everyone is hungry, we sure are.”

“Gotcha covered, they’ll be here by 7:00, we ordered extra in case your parents wanted some.”

“Thanks Mary, we do. You’re a sweetheart, I’m sorry I screwed up your evening.” Dad flashed.

“Glad you’re okay! Did you like the treatment?”

“Delightful, I have no idea what really happened though. They have some explaining to do.”

I flashed, “Yeah babe, there’s gonna be a lot of THAT going around tonight.”

Linda and Bob were looking at Dad’s eyes in the mirror, “Yeah, A WHOLE lotta that.”

We arrived home to Linda’s anxious and confused family. Mary, Jamie and Greg were being asked questions they didn’t know whether to answer or not. Linda’s family had a gazillion questions they really wanted answers to.

It went without saying, that Linda, Bob and I had a few questions of our own! Especially Bob and Linda.

If it turns out that Linda is our biological sister ... I almost didn’t want to THINK about it.

We had just gotten inside the door when everyone started talking at once. Within seconds the volume and intensity became unbearable. It seemed everyone was shouting at each other. I was beginning to stress when Mary put her fingers between her lips and let out the shrillest whistle I’ve ever heard.

Everyone froze.

I took a deep breath. “Look, everyone, please quiet down and listen to me. I know everyone has questions. I certainly do and I know that Bob and Linda do also. However, we’re not going to give you any answers until our questions get answered!

“I’m going to suggest that until the pizza gets here you guys (I was pointing at the parents.) stay in the kitchen and start sorting everything out amongst yourselves. All of us kids, including Jessica, will go outside on the patio to give you guys some privacy.

“I probably don’t have the right to say this, but no one is going to leave here tonight until we get this sorted out. I’m prepared to use force if necessary to not allow anyone to leave until that happens. If you don’t believe I can do it, just ask my dad.

“That being said, it’s my sincerest hope that it won’t come to that. We’ll keep an eye out for the pizza guy and take care of it when he gets here. I’m pretty sure you won’t have everything sorted out by then, so we’ll divvy up the pizza and you can stay in here, while we eat outside.

“Depending on how long it takes, you may find us in the pool. You guys need to get things figured out! Once I’m sure that you all still love each other, then and only then, will the six of us give you the answers that you’re looking for. I’m sorry for being so abrupt. I just hope that you’ll forgive me.”

Not a word was spoken until Dad, with his eyes watering, looked at Iris.

“My son is right. Iris, Nancy and I have a lot of catching up to do and Ray, at the very least, needs explanations. I just want to say before we split up, that Charlie, Bob and Linda literally risked EVERYTHING less than half an hour ago to save my life. If it wasn’t for them, I’m certain I wouldn’t be here right now. Charlie’s right! He, Bob and Linda deserve answers. Son, I promise you I’ll do everything in my power to make that happen. You have no idea how proud of you I am right now. Thank you.”

Without any further discussion, Linda took Jessica’s hand and the seven of us went out to the patio, closing the door behind us. Greg, Mary and Jamie flashed me that they would go out front and wait for the pizza, so that Bob, Linda and I would have some time to talk to Jessica alone. I thanked them as they headed through the gate.

Jessica was both antsy and quiet. “Is everything going to be alright, you know, in there?” she asked, pointing in the house.

“I hope so, I know Dad’s gonna try and fix things.”

“I’ve never seen Mom cry like that ... What did she mean by ‘I’m going to lose him again’?”

“Look at me and give me your hand.”

With curious eyes, Jessica gave me both of her hands. “Jessica, can you promise me you’ll never tell anyone about anything that has happened or will happen tonight?”

She slowly nodded her head, “yes, I promise! I’ll even ‘pinky swear’.”

Linda chuckled, “That’s as good as it gets, Charlie!”

We did and it was an emotional joining. I suddenly felt extremely connected to her and it nearly took my breath away.

“OK, Jessica, we might have to wait until they come out to talk to us, so this is just a guess. I think your Mom and my Dad were lovers once. They may even be related.”

“You mean like cousins?”

“Yes, or maybe even closer.”

Her eyes grew slowly, until they were like saucers, “Like your dad is my mom’s brother?”

“It’s just a guess, but yes, maybe. We’ll have to hope they tell us. Until then, we keep this a secret. Okay?”

“Oh gosh yes. Oh boy ... that means you and Bob could be my uncles?”

“No, cousins.”

“Could Bob and Sis still get married?” She looked crestfallen, afraid of the answer.

Linda looked even more so.

“It would be complicated, but it’s possible they could still get married.”

Linda’s head cocked, looking at me curiously. “How? If Bob was even just my 1^st cousin, that’s still illegal in Illinois!”

I glanced at Jess and stuck out my pinky. She smiled and nodded that she knew this was still secret. “It’s only ILLEGAL if someone FINDS OUT you’re related! Linda, your mom’s maiden name is Jorgenson, isn’t it?”

Linda nodded, “yes, how did you know that?”

“It’s something Dad confided to us just a short while ago. A lot of things make sense now. Like the way your mom and my dad BOTH said the same thing at the hospital. Remember?”

Bob gasped, “Right! Linda looks a lot like Iris. Dad said she reminded him of someone he loved a long time ago!”

Linda agreed, “And Mom said Bob reminded her of someone SHE loved. Bob does remind me of your dad. But, how can we still get married?”

“Don’t you see?” I asserted, “Bob’s last name is legally Swenson, any and all reference to Jorgenson has been completely destroyed by the CIA! How would anyone know? I CERTAINLY wouldn’t tell anyone.”

Linda’s face suddenly brightened. “You mean; your dad’s past was like, erased?”

“Yep! Totally. I searched the county records and even Virginia Beach, VA, where I think I was born, to see if I could find anything on Jorgenson, and nada, nothing. Leonard Jorgenson never existed! Bob and I, according to records were both born to Leonard and Nancy Swenson of Tempe, Arizona. At least according to our birth certificates.”

“Wow, that’s scary. You’re right, no one could ever really find out.”

“What’s even scarier, if anyone were to try and prove we were brothers and sister, it would be almost totally impossible. Except for possibly DNA, but those tests are very expensive. I wonder if that’s why Dad was so against us donating a DNA sample?”

Bob and Linda were staring at me with raised eyebrows.

Jessica broke us out of our contemplation, “Good! I hope Bob still marries Sis. They belong together!”

Bob and Linda enveloped her with a hug, “We hope so too.”

Greg announced the arrival of the pizzas and that they were going through the house to drop off our parents share.

A couple of minutes later, they came out, smiling, as they set the rest of the pizzas on the patio table.

“So, is everyone still alive in there?” I asked jokingly.

“I’d have to say so,” Mary smirked, “Your dad was kissing Iris and Ray was hugging Nancy. It looked like Iris, your mom and your dad had been crying, but, judging from the way they were hugging, it would suggest that things are going to be fine.”

Greg chuckled, “Pops told me to tell you that they just had a few more things to work out and then they’d be joining us for a swim. They were raiding the fridge for more beer.”

“More?”

“It looked like they already had a couple before the food arrived!”

I was feeling better, as we popped some beer, wine coolers and Pepsi for ourselves. Jessica tried to ask for a cooler, but Linda said, “In a word ... NO. Let’s not test their current good nature.”

Everyone laughed as Jessica gave her a good natured raspberry.

We finished eating and decided to go swimming, since everyone had their suits on under their t-shirts and shorts.

Jessica grumped, “Everyone has such nice bikini’s, Mom made me wear this ugly thing!” She pulled off her t-shirt, revealing a conservative one-piece suit.

She cheered up when she saw the pool up close. “Wow! A real diving board! Can I use it?”

“Sure, after me,” Linda said as she bounced high and did a nice swan dive.

“Cool, it’s not like those chintzy ones at a motel. It really springs good.” Jessica said as she performed a perfect forward somersault.

“You try it Bob,” She goaded him.

Not to be outdone, Bob tried it, but only made it halfway, resulting in a back flop, slapping the water, hard. He came up, dazed and confused, to everyone’s laughter.

Still laughing I said, “Stay right there, little bro, let me show you how it’s done!”

I took three steps, bounced as high as I could and set up for my patented angle bomb. I planned on landing just far enough away from Bob to ensure the eight-foot splash would nearly drown him. Just as I set, however I felt myself stop. I looked over and Bob was smirking.

Meanwhile, Jessica was gasping, seeing me floating in midair. “What the heck?”

“Bob, dammit, put me down.” I felt my legs going up until I was horizontal to the pool. At which point I heard Bob say, “Okay.” And, splat. I landed exactly like he had.

“That’s what you get for laughing at me!”

Jessica giggled, “Wow, you guys play rough. I knew you could fly, but I didn’t know you could catch!”

Mary got on the board, looked at Bob, warning, “Don’t even think about it, Spinner Bear!”

Bob smirked, “Have no fear, Lady Guinevere, there’ll be no evil deeds done here! What dive are you going to do?”

She looked back at me and winked, “A forward two and a half with a twist.”

Jessica gasped, “No way Mary, that board’s not high enough!”

“Sure it is, watch!” She said as she took three steps, bounced and when I knew she was high enough caught her, somersaulted her gently 2½ times, then twisted her around. After making sure she was perfectly vertical, feet down, I let go of her three feet above the pool. A perfect 2½ with a twist.

“Whoa, that would’ve been a perfect 10 at one of our meets,” Jessica lauded.

“She cheated, Charlie did that,” Bob said in mock outrage.

Jessica was now laughing, having figured out what I had done. “I’ll have to have you and Charlie show up at our next meet! Charlie could be on our side and Bob could be on the other team’s side. We’d never lose!”

I flashed her the pinky and smirked.

“Oh, yeah, probably not gonna happen, huh?” she said with a cute half grin and began giggling.

“It looks like you kids are having fun.” Iris said, stepping up by the diving board, along with the rest of the parents. “That was an amazing dive, Mary. I saw that.”

Jessica smirked, “Yes, but Charlie helped her a lot. Oops!” she giggled.

“Charlie helped her? How exactly?”

Mary was blushing, but Jessica didn’t miss a beat, “I promised Charlie I wouldn’t tell, at least not until you guys got everything straightened out. Did you?”

Iris smiled warmly. “Yes sweetie, everything’s good now.”

Linda wasn’t nearly as cheerful, asking roughly, “What about Bob and me? We can’t get married now, can we.”

With a serene, understanding smile, Iris dove in the pool, swam over to Linda and gave her a warm hug. “Yes sweetie, we still want you to marry Bob. Ray and I are totally behind it.”

I thought Bob’s eyes were going to pop out of his head as his jaw hit the water. “So Linda’s NOT my sister?”

Iris held her arm out for Bob to join her and Linda. She told him, “It’s half-sister, and yes she is. Let me ask you this, how would you feel if we had come out here and said you COULDN’T marry her?”

Bob’s eyes got watery. “I’d feel like somebody pulled my heart out and stomped on it. I don’t care if she is my sister, I love her more than anything I’ve ever loved in my life. I don’t know that there’s any other girl in the world I could ever feel this way about.” He had tears streaming down his face. So did Linda.

Iris hugged them tight. After a minute she told them, “That’s why we want you guys to do it. It’s the exact same way I feel about Lenny. Why don’t we get something to drink, gather around the table, then Lenny and I will tell you guys the whole story. I think then, everyone will understand why the four of us feel the way we do.”