Chapter 30: Sometimes Things Need to be Explained

June,1985

[I tried to figure out what Greg might be so emotional about, but, I realized that I didn’t have a clue!]

“Hey girls, when we get home, would you mind if Greg and I went to the bar for a drink?”

Mary, always in sync with me, smiled. “Sure, I think you boys need some ‘guy’ time.”

I knew that she was flashing Linda and Jamie. “We’re gonna go see ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!’ None of us have seen it yet. So NO INTERRUPTIONS, please?

I chuckled, “No problem, have... ‘fun’. Thanks.”

After they left Greg said, “Well, we don’t really have to GO anywhere now, so let’s just grab a drink and sit on the patio.”

We fixed some iced tea and went out to the patio table. I put up the umbrella for some shade.

I looked at Greg quizzically, “What’s on your mind brother? I’ve never seen you like this.”

Greg took a deep breath, looking at me uncertainly, “I don’t know, ... a bunch of things. I’ve been getting this gnawing feeling that you and Bob were starting to get, I dunno, kind of bloodthirsty. Until this morning that is. Shit, I’m sorry, that didn’t come out the way I meant it. I just feel like I don’t KNOW you sometimes!”

“I don’t understand. Do you feel like I’m getting too, I don’t know, ‘casual’ about hurting people who are trying to harm me or my family?”

“I guess that’s what’s been bothering me, yes. It’s like, after you and Bob killed the guys that you did over the last couple of weeks, that I wasn’t seeing any regret. I started feeling like you guys felt it was easier to kill somebody, than just stopping them from doing whatever it was they were intending to do.”

“Are you talking about those two guards whose necks Bob broke?”

Greg was nodding affirmatively.

“Bob didn’t have any CHOICE.” I sounded harsh, even to myself. “If anyone had made a sound, they were going to EXECUTE Dad and TJ. I’m sure you heard Janet tell Bob, that if he couldn’t do it, they were going to have to get a sniper to take them out. Unfortunately, there just wasn’t time. So I guess I have to ask you. What difference would it have made?”

Greg sighed, still deep in thought. “I hear what you’re saying and I’m sorry to sound like I’m condemning you. It’s just that, after Bob accidentally killed that guy in the parking lot at the convenience store then felt so bad he became distraught, then he just killed those two guys like it was nothing.”

“NOTHING? We think about that shit every day. Even that guy that we killed by throwing his car in the air ... We didn’t do that KNOWING we were going to kill him. He was shooting at you and Chief Blake and we just wanted to stop him.”

I paused for a second before I asked, “You’ve never killed anyone, have you?”

Greg lowered his head, shaking it slowly, “No, no I haven’t. I hope I never have to either. Just that, doesn’t it bother you, that you killed those guys?”

“Sure it does, but, to me, those guys were evil and a threat to me and my family. I didn’t feel I had any choice. I guess I should explain something. I never told you about my friend, Big Willie did I?”

Greg just shook his head.

“Willie was a sniper in Vietnam. He’s even bigger and stronger than Big Ed. His younger brother Terry and I were best friends in high school. One day, when I was a junior, we asked him what it was like to shoot someone. He got a cold look on his face then said, ‘That depends on who it is. It’s a terrible thing to kill someone, unless he’s an enemy combatant. In Vietnam, my job was to assassinate North Vietnamese leaders who were responsible for plotting against US soldiers. I also went after North Vietnamese snipers. My thinking on it was, for everyone that I killed, maybe a fellow American soldier wouldn’t die.’”

Greg said, “I could never do that job Charlie. I don’t think I could sleep at night.”

That’s when I wondered if Greg was possibly suffering from PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).

I’d never even considered that possibility, since he didn’t actually take part in the violent parts of our actions. But, it could be a case of ‘guilt by association’. He was supporting us, therefore, he may feel culpable in the deeds that Bob and I performed. I needed to let him vent his feelings or this was only going to get worse.

I put my hand on his and the floodgates opened, for both of us. All of his pent up feelings and emotions were instantly shared and understood. I felt sorry that I hadn’t ‘read’ any of this till now. I knew that I needed to tell him more about Willie, whose experiences and mentoring shaped the majority of my current attitudes.

However, I needed to get him to open up and talk about more of HIS feelings first.

I looked into his wet eyes, “I’m sorry buddy, I never recognized how you felt.”

He suddenly hugged me. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m the one who betrayed you.”

“What? You’ve never betrayed me.”

“Yes I DID! By thinking you had turned into a cold blooded killer, when you were really only doing things to protect everyone. The way you handled Carmine this morning kinda proves that. I tried to project my feelings onto your actions and came up with some very wrong conclusions.”

“But your feelings are what they are. Everything that’s happened over the last month hasn’t given ANY of us much time to really figure out WHAT to think.”

“Yeah, but, you and Bob don’t seem to be as disturbed as I am. Why is that?”

“Because, thanks to Willie’s mentoring, I have somewhat different views on things than most people do. Bob knows Willie too and, well, what Bob did to those guards came right out of Willie’s playbook. He showed us many things, and that was one of them. You have to be pretty strong to pull that one off though.”

Greg finally chuckled, “I guess for someone who can break a tire-iron, it’s not THAT tough!”

“No, but self-defense techniques, weren’t the only thing Bob and I learned from him. His attitudes on the things he had to deal with are how we’ve been able to deal with everything that’s happened.”

“What do you mean?”

“Willie told me, that the only reason HE could sleep at night, was that in his mind, he classified people that wanted to kill him or his buddies as ‘non-human’ entities, that needed to be exterminated like rats. He said with a chuckle, ‘Do unto others what they would do unto you, but do it to them FIRST!’”

Greg sighed, “You know Charlie, when you put it that way, it does make sense.”

“What upsets me is that you and I haven’t been having our usual Saturday morning breakfasts together. I’m really sorry about that. I think we need to start them again.”

Greg frowned, “Well, I know the girls like going to breakfast on Saturdays with us. What if we start a NEW tradition of stopping at the bar on like Thursday or Friday on the way home from work?”

I thought for a second, “Thursday would probably be the best day because no one else usually stops and we could easily be alone to talk. On Friday a lot of people from work like to stop. Of course, you’re always invited, but, we wouldn’t get much time to talk, alone.”

“That sounds like a plan, Charlie. We don’t even have to make it every Thursday. We just don’t want to skip more than one or two in a row. You’re not just the best friend I’ve ever had, you’re my brother! I don’t ever want to let something like this happen again. I guess it seems silly that I can’t talk about this when someone else is around. It’s just that, sometimes I feel that I can only say things when it’s just the two of us. That’s probably because, even if I don’t say something right, you always give me a chance to explain myself.”

“I know what you mean. I was going to suggest that we use our silent communication, but, I sometimes wonder if our ‘gift’ of telepathy isn’t also a curse. It seems like we’re always in a group conversation. I’m not always sure if a ‘flash’ is private or not!”

“I know,” Greg said, “But, what can we do about it?”

“Maybe we can somehow limit everyone’s ‘eavesdropping’. I also think we ALL need to make regular ‘alone times’ with EACH of our family members. We all get that with our mates almost every night, but I think we even need to have ‘date-nights’, or afternoons, with our spouses and each other too.”

“I think we need a ‘powwow’ with everybody, maybe over dinner tonight.” Greg said.

“I couldn’t agree more.”

I told Greg how Bob and I communicate secretly. I told him that the next time everybody was around we needed to try it and see if it worked.

Shortly after 2:00 pm, Bob came running in the house and poked his head out on the patio, looking all around. “Where are the girls?”

“They went to see the movie, ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’. They probably won’t be back till about 4:00 pm.”

“Cool! I got a surprise for Linda and that’ll give me more than enough time. Thanks guys!”

With that he went running off leaving Greg and I chuckling to ourselves.

Greg and I talked for a while and then Bob stuck his head out the door all in a panic. “Do you guys have some small blocks of wood I can stick under the legs? The bed’s not tall enough!”

Greg started laughing. “We still have a couple of 2x4’s from the fence. Would that work? I could cut them off for you.”

“That would be perfect.”

Greg went to the garage and I could hear the circular saw cutting four pieces. Greg showed them to Bob and he asked us to come in the bedroom. He lifted the bed and we slid a piece under each leg. He then slid what looked like a 4’ square box, that was about a foot high with four wires coming out of it under the bed. He thanked us, then told us to get lost.

“What the hell is THAT thing?” Greg asked, pointing to the black box.

“That’s a subwoofer,” Bob said. “When I get it all hooked up, if the girls aren’t home, I’ll let you guys check it out. But for now, get lost, so I can finish.”

I told Greg, as we went tittering back to the patio, that I thought I knew what a subwoofer was and it added bass and depth to the music. I told him that we probably didn’t see the speaker as it faced the floor.

“Why the hell would it face the floor?” Greg asked.

“Because it only admits very low frequency bass, and it reverberates off the floor. I don’t completely understand it, so you’ll have to ask Bob later.”

Greg and I went back out to the patio, stripped and started swimming laps in the pool. We swam at a moderate pace for about five laps and then started racing. After 10 hard laps, Greg beat me by a nose and we went over to the bench in the pool to rest.

“I think we need to exercise more Charlie, it’s pathetic that after 10 laps we’re both exhausted!”

We were both still breathing hard.

“Ain’t that the truth! I think every muscle in my body aches. Maybe we should start swimming laps every morning before breakfast. Not real fast maybe, but like 25 or 30 laps and build it up from there.”

“Sounds like a plan Charlie, it sure as hell beats running.”

Shortly after catching our breath, Bob came out and asked us if we wanted to check out the stereo in Linda’s bed. We got out and realized we didn’t have any towels. Bob was laughing and went back in the house to get us each one.

When we got inside, Bob had us lay side-by-side on the bed and close our eyes. He put on “Color My World” by Chicago and neither of us could believe the sound. He then put on “In The Mood” by Glenn Miller and further blew us away.

Greg was astonished. “Holy cow Bob! That was like being inside the best headphones in the world. The bass is incredible! It felt like I was floating in the music.”

“That’s unbelievable.” I gushed.

I looked around and saw the two small speakers in the canopy and asked, “Are you telling me all that sound came from those two little speakers?”

“Hard to believe, isn’t it! That’s the beauty of a subwoofer system. 95% of what you heard DID come from those two speakers, but what you felt, and that great sound was actually created from the subwoofer under the bed. Without the subwoofer it wouldn’t sound anything like that.”

How much does a set up like that go for Bob?” Greg asked.

“The speakers sell for about $175. You need an amplifier that puts out at least 100 watts RMS per channel to power them. (AUTHOR’S NOTE: In audio power, RMS stands for Root Mean Square, and it refers to the best value of the waveform. It is the measurement of continuous power that an amplifier can deliver.) The amplifier I’m using puts out 200 watts RMS, and it sells for about $250. The turntable that I played the record on sells for about $175 so this whole system sells for around $600. Of course, you can add other things to it like a tape player or eventually one of those CD players. CD players play those little discs, but I would advise waiting a while because they’re extremely expensive right now.”

“Phew, that seems a little steep for my blood, but, the sound would sure be worth it.” Greg said.

Bob chuckled, “You really don’t wanna know what a CD player would cost. They’re selling for about $300 right now, and I’m telling my friends not to buy one for at least a couple years. Right now you’re just paying for the bling and quite honestly, the dynamic range of a CD is nowhere near as good as an LP or even a cassette tape. I’m figuring that over the next few years the cost is going to come way down and hopefully the dynamic range of CD’s will go up. The only real advantage to a CD is that you can play it 1000 times and unlike a tape or a record, the quality of the recording never changes or degrades.”

Mary flashed us that Becky was with them and they were going to call for a pizza after the movie. She wanted us to invite the neighbors to eat with us and to let her know what they liked. I called Sally and Bill first and they said yes and that they had coincidentally had planned on having Ed and Gracie over for pizza too.

I flashed Mary. “They asked to order them a garbage pie and they would be over soon. I love you sweetie!”

“See you soon Charlie.”

Bob asked what the appropriate dress was going to be. I chuckled and told him I wasn’t sure. Just then the neighbors knocked on the patio door. I saw they were dressed in their robes, so I told him we should probably put our robes on for now.

By the time I let them in, they had already let their robes fall open and Greg and I got very nice kisses from Gracie and Sally as they rubbed their pelvis’s into ours, getting a ‘rise’ from us.

Bob came out of his room wearing his robe and smirked, “So is it with or without?”

“With for now, Becky is with the girls and she hasn’t met our neighbors yet. Not that she’s the least bit shy, but I figure we must try to show some ‘decorum’.”

It was a good thing that nobody had anything to drink or I would have been mopping the floor, since everyone burst out laughing.

Greg and I grabbed our robes while Gracie and Sally were engaged in getting Bob up and ready. It was nice to see how totally casual everyone was with each other.

The girls arrived home with 5 X-large pizza’s and salad. Bill and Ed were immediately rewarded with intimate kisses from Mary, Jamie and Linda. Becky was a little tentative at first, then really warmed up to Bill, whispering something to him that stood his manhood up straight. After some giggling by the girls, everyone lost their clothes and robes and we sat on the patio to enjoy our dinner.

Conversation centered around Linda’s attempted murder and subsequent miraculous recovery. According to Ed, the news report stated that Herman broke his legs trying to escape when he was tackled by Larry and Morgan. He looked at me and I winked, causing him to chuckle as he ‘knew’ what most likely happened.

The interpersonal dynamics around the table was interesting. Becky chose to sit between Bill and Greg. Linda sat on one side of me with Gracie on the other. Jamie and Mary surrounded Bob, while Sally sat between Greg and Linda. Ed was sitting between Jamie and Gracie. By the time we finished eating, there was serious groping going on and good-natured teasing. Mary kept winking at me and nodding toward Becky and Bill.

I looked around the group and asked, “Do you want to start pairing off or should we go for a dip in the pool?”

Sally just giggled. “Looks like we may have to do both! Something tells me Bill’s found a new friend.”