“I’m so excited you’re here!”, “It’s so great to meet you!”, “You start today? Yes!”
Maria was not only greeted with enthusiastic words but excited handshakes and large welcoming hugs by the other nurses and nursing assistants at Elcap Retirement Center.
Denise, her new manager, responded to the bewildered look on Maria’s face once the room cleared to only the two of them.
“No, they’re not always like that,” said Denise to her new employee. “They didn’t want another person because it pushes Crinkle Cut back an evening for my staff but we need you so we can provide proper care to our residents so I had to put a stop to Crinkle Cut until you started.”
Maria’s eyes narrowed. “Crinkle cut fries?”
Denise laughed so hard that it made the young 23-year-old woman with light brown skin and straight dark hair uneasy. Did she do something wrong?
“You’ll understand soon enough,” Denise said when she gathered her composure. “Actually, one of your first tasks is to update the Crinkle Cut list. We’ve had several women pass away since we last made a schedule and instead of just trying to figure out whose turn it is through the scratch outs you might as well make a new schedule.”
Maria felt uncertain as her manager spoke but she figured she could put together a schedule of some sort.
Denise continued, “This will help introduce you to all the residents since almost all of them are on the schedule. Since you’re new to my nursing team you’ll need to put your name last for Crinkle Cut. All good?”
Maria nodded but she wasn’t sure what Denise was talking about.
Maria received the old schedule. There were three times: 8 AM, noon, and 4 PM which also corresponded to when breakfast, lunch, and dinner were served. There also was a 7 PM time and that’s where the staff names were placed. From what Maria understood it would be best to create a new spreadsheet that listed today’s date like September 17 and the day like Monday and then fill in the resident names in the three time slots and staff names in the evening slots. It was important to keep the same order and if any of the residents had time slot preferences then she might have to bump them a day or two until the next opening. She needed to do all this while taking care of the medical needs of the residents. Denise was correct that this project would be a good way to get to know everyone and she could assess their well-being at the same time.
Maria’s shift would regularly be 12 noon to 8:30 PM so she used her first afternoon on the job on the computer to create a blank spreadsheet to initially write names in when she talked to people and then she created a name list from the original handwritten schedule. She’d try to talk to people in that order. Most residents came out to the dining room for their meals and she didn’t see anyone who took meals in their room on this list.
“There are no men on this list,” Maria commented.
Denise chuckled, “You’ll understand soon enough.”
It bothered Maria that there already were secrets to this place.
During dinner time, Maria moved from table to table introducing herself and seeing if any of the women had any preference.
“As long as I get my turn with Thomas,” Agnes snapped.
“I got skipped last time,” groused Gretchen. “Had to wait until my turn came around again.”
“Just make sure I am on the list,” Loretta said sweetly.
When Maria met husband and wife Bill and Betty Bronson, Bill said, “Put Betty on in the mornings with Thomas. It makes her happy the rest of the day.”
Eventually Maria got the nerve up to whisper to Arlene Smith, “Who is Thomas?”
“Him,” she pointed to a man two tables over. He showed up late during the lunch time. “Thomas Andrews. Sadly, he doesn’t remember any of it. Dementia as you know.”
Maria didn’t know. Not yet. It was her first day after all.
“So, what do you do?” Maria asked.
Arlene laughed then lightly blushed. “You know.”
Maria tried to think what to ask next but Arlene stood and patted her on the shoulder. “You’ll get your turn then you’ll understand.”
Maria moved over to where Thomas sat with a full table of other women.
“Hi Thomas,” she introduced. “I’m Maria.”
“Hi there,” he said brightly. “Glad to meet you. Did you just check in?”
“I just started working here.”
“Here at Elcap.”
“Where is that?”
Dorothy, whose face look flushed and had walked in with Thomas to the dining room, spoke up. “Don’t try too hard. He won’t remember you tomorrow. He just knows his routine. He doesn’t even remember our routine with him.”
“To our benefit,” Gigi snickered bringing out laughter from everyone.
“Since I’m new,” Maria said, “Could someone tell me what is going on and what is this list for?” She shook the paper.
Dorothy said, “We have sex with him. It’s an incredible experience.”
Maria’s light brown complexion became paler.
“You’ll understand when it’s your turn,” Harriet said.
“I see,” said Maria but she didn’t.
Maria sought out Denise.
“This is a list of days and times when the residents can have sex with Thomas Andrews?” she nearly shouted.
“Look,” said Denise calmly. She didn’t have much employee turnover because of old Thomas so it was a while since she had to deal with surprise and shock over this. “It’s because of Crinkle Cut that we have by far the happiest residents of any center in the country and I’m sure you’ve discovered that with the couples even the husband wants his wife to be with Thomas because Crinkle Cut can get it up and they can’t. They love their wives so much that they want them to stay sexually satisfied.”
Maria nodded. She had discovered husbands insisting their wives be on the list. “Isn’t this taking advantage of him?”
“How?” Denise countered. “Because he can’t remember who fucked him? I’m sure you are very aware of the health benefits of sex. We have healthy residents. Our deceased rate is much lower than anywhere. It’s rare we have any resident openings.”
Maria held up the list. “This schedule includes your staff.”
Denise remained unflustered. “You’ll have to trust me on this. When it’s your turn to make sure Thomas is okay for night you’ll see for yourself. At least put yourself on the list for the first time. You don’t have to fuck him. After your turn happens and you want to opt out then no problem. You’ll be assigned to other residents that night and it just means that our turns with Crinkle Cut will move up a day so good for us.”
Maria couldn’t believe Denise was saying this but now she was curious. “Okay,” she said softly.
“Please finish the schedule. It’s important.”
“I will,” she confirmed.
“As you know the rooms have only a privacy curtain for safety and emergencies.”
“Some of the women are loud. No, many ... almost all of the women are loud. It brings a ... certain ambiance to the residential hallways. You can’t here it in the dining hall because of conversations but here where we work the sexual moans provide a mood of happiness to the place. Honestly I’m tempted to put a mic in his room and pipe the sounds to everywhere just because it’s ... I hope you understand what I’m saying.”
“Good. Is it ethical for us all to share Crinkle Cut? Sure. Legal? I’m sure some bureaucrat would get her panties in a wad and try to shut it down. So are we good, Maria?”
Maria resumed her scheduling duty while continuing to meet the residents and get a better understanding of their medical needs. She felt a little in shock. Not just from what she now understood but from the fact that she actually thought that Denise’s explanation was completely reasonable and sane.
She now felt better knowing exactly what she was asking when scheduling a resident with Thomas Andrews. Did the man really perform 4 times a day? She looked up his health record. The guy was 82! Talk about coming of age! More like cumming of age. Four times a day? Four times! Wow!
At around 4:15, Maria heard strange sounds so she went to investigate and the sounds led her to Thomas Andrews’ room. The privacy curtain was pulled shut. Sure enough the sounds were sexual moaning. She returned to her desk and looked at the old schedule. Barbara Baxter was getting her pussy filled by Thomas Andrews right now. She became more curious. What was with this old man?
Before the end of her shift, she finished the spreadsheet. Denise told her she needed to make sure the residents knew their days and times for the time period the schedule covered. It would be Maria’s responsibility to update the schedule each quarter. Each female resident who wanted to be with Thomas would get to be with him about every 10 days. 10 days worked out the same for the nursing staff. She could hardly believe that she could barely wait to find out what all the fuss was about. There must be something to it. Her coworkers were fucking him too!
Megan Hanson gave Maria a giant hug. “I’m so glad you’re here! Now we can be with Crinkle Cut again.”
“Is tonight your turn?” Maria asked. It seemed a reasonable conclusion.
“Yes! My pussy has been dripping since Denise introduced you today. It’s kind of embarrassing because seriously there are places on the floor where I know it’s my juices. I am so fucking wet just thinking of fucking him again! Thank you so much again.”
“Uh ... you’re welcome.” What does one respond to that?