Chapter 2: Tragedy

Only a week later mom got sick with a very bad strain of pneumonia. Fran and I got shots to keep us from getting sick. I had to take time off school to take care of her. In less than a month she was gone. That event REALLY changed my life. Miss Jerry, one of mom’s many friends stayed with us and helped us dress for the funeral.

Then Mrs. Roberts, a supervisor from CPS, Child Protective Services, stayed with us for a few days. She talked about foster care or adoption. I tried to talk her out of both. I desperately wanted to stay in our home with Fran and learn to be the best mom replacement a sister could ever have. What settled it (at least I thought so at the time) was Fran saying she would rather have me for a mom than some stranger.

Mom had a little insurance. The insurance lady cried with me and Mrs. Roberts. Fran and I hated to wear clothes at home but Mrs. Roberts said we both had to. I loved the house we grew up in. “I can stay and take care of Fran.” I kept saying that but nobody seemed to listen.

It seemed that no matter what happened the money was going to run out. We needed food. We needed clothes. (I would gladly stay nude all the time. That would save on clothes, right?) A real estate person was called. If we sold our house the money would last longer, but not long enough.

But no way I could make it to 18 and stay in mom’s house.

The real estate guy had an idea. He had a place for sale. It’s just off Cook about one kilometer toward the ocean from Route 12. It was a tiny house in Idle Park, an older but a nice quiet neighborhood. The house was too small even for a couple with no children. The real estate guy had promised the neighbors if they watched the place for him he would find the right someone for their well kept up neighborhood. His real estate firm owned the house. They bought it from the bank that took it back after the previous owners up and left.

He knew Mrs. Roberts was not looking for a new home for her family, much less a home for two recent orphans. But he had to show her that place. He asked her if there was any way we could get Z and Fran into this place by themselves. Mrs. Roberts started thinking. School counselors and teachers. Must talk to the neighbors. Someone must visit them EVERY DAY. She started making notes, more to cover her bases if this did not work.

I was thrilled when Mrs. Roberts told us she had an idea that just might work. There was enough money to pay rent on the house. What money was left was enough to pay for food and clothing but not much else. And that counted CPS money that would have otherwise gone to foster parents. She or one of her people would be our mom for a half hour every day. They gave us a cell phone with orders to almost pretend we had no phone.

When Fran and I looked at the house we knew it was the best deal we would get. I would be a mom to Fran. We could live together. We had to get one bed to share. We got a closeout model bed 137 cm wide (it said so on the label) and long enough. We would be close in that house no matter what, and even closer in our shared bed. I had no clue that we also got all our rent money paid by Mr. Felderman, the porn producer. I had given his son a blowjob 6 weeks earlier. He went through Mrs. Roberts and never said anything to either of us until I was 18. It was years after that when I found out he was our anonymous benefactor.

Mrs. Roberts told us not to advertise the fact that we were living mostly without adult supervision. “Being different in school is sometimes a problem. It’s not a national secret or anything but be careful. Do your best to limit the number of people who know anything about your living arrangements.

“Your mom has money left on your school lunch tickets. CPS will put both of you down for free lunch plus. The plus part means that you can get extras for free. DO NOT abuse that. I will know. Your tickets and their numbers will not change. Three years ago somebody smart finally figured out that the different color of free vs. full price lunch tickets left the free lunch students open to shaming by kids from more well-off families. CPS had only been after them for ten years...

“You already have a cell phone to share. In a few days, I will get you a working laptop. This will make it possible for you ladies to have a second phone number. I have already checked with Mrs. Field who lives directly behind you. After I bring you girls a laptop, take it over to her house and get connected to her wi-fi. She has agreed to let you use it. In a few weeks, I will try to get IT&I to set up a wired connection to this house.” We knew that computers and all that fancy internet stuff existed but that was about it. And what is Wife-Eye? Mrs. Roberts promised printed instructions and telephone help if we had problems.