Chapter 43: “All you have to do is ask!”

April 14, 2001, Chicago, Illinois

🎤 Steve

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to walk me to work once I change my schedule,” Jessica said as Kara and I walked with her to the ER on Saturday morning.

“It’s important to us,” I replied. “It’s not a big deal, and we want to go to bed at the same time you do.”

“But 8:00pm on Sunday through Thursday?”

“If that’s when you go to bed, yes,” Kara said. “It’s important for our trio!”

“But I have to get up at 3:00am! You guys should stay in bed! It’s not like it was when we were first married or when we had problems! We’ll have plenty of time for sex and plenty of time together. It’s OK for me to go to bed early and get up early.”

“Jess,” I protested.

“Tiger, we’re in a very different place; a good place. And if anyone knows that sex isn’t just before bedtime, it’s you!”

“Snuggle Bear, we could change our hours so we’re home earlier. For me, it would just be changing my office hours. For you, you could go in earlier. I think we could both be home by 3:30pm, which would give us more time with Jess. You know, ‘Afternoon Delight’!”

“That song is just horrible!” I declared, shaking my head. “But the idea seems OK. Practically, though, it means Jess has to sleep on the outside.”

“She can have Friday and Saturday night between us, and you an I can alternate the other nights.”

“And Suzanne is moving upstairs when MC moves out,” Jessica said, “so I can use the shower by her room off the kitchen. And until we decide someone can move in, I can keep some clothes there, too.”

“It’s not ideal,” I said, “but it will work.”

“Have you decided what to do about Rachel’s request?” Kara asked.

“I asked her to talk to us closer to graduation. That’s about two years from now. We’ll worry about it then.”

“What are you two doing today?” Jessica asked.

“Men’s breakfast, karate, and then just relaxing at home,” I said.

“Breakfast with the kids, karate, and relaxing,” Kara said. “And then we’ll come to get you, have dinner, and spend the evening fooling around. I mean, if you want to, Jess.”

“I think I can fit you two into my schedule!” Jessica teased.

Kara and I laughed and as we were at the ER, we each hugged and kissed Jessica. After she went inside, Kara and I turned to walk back home, hand-in-hand.

“You didn’t say anything about Marissa last night,” Kara said.

“You didn’t ask!”

“And?”

“We fucked like bunny rabbits and she’s going to start coming to the Rap Sessions after she turns eighteen in July.”

“And?”

“She made it clear that she’d be happy to have a repeat performance, but she’s also aware of the limitations. Her head is screwed on straight.”

“And her brains are fucked out!” Kara giggled. “And I missed it!”

“Your voyeuristic desires are pretty strong. Have you ever fantasized about a threesome? I mean besides our trio?”

“Marissa is pretty cute, but no, I’m a one-woman woman. I really, really enjoyed jointly deflowering Jess, but I don’t think I’d want to do it again, even if it were possible within our rules. Watching you and another girl deflower a virgin would be the pinnacle!”

“I’d say, given the way the world has gone, it might actually be possible. So many girls aren’t losing their virginities until college these days. That said, the reason they aren’t is the demonization of sex and the infantilization of teenagers. The chances of finding a girl like Suzanne who’s even MORE adventurous are pretty slim. And the really wild girls I know are all involved these days, including both Becka and Mattie.”

“Suzanne?”

“Would do anything I asked, but I think what she said after the two of us were with Leigh is the controlling factor - only with girls in the ‘Inner Circle’. Consider it similar to you and Jess limiting yourselves to each other.”

“Before I forget, have you heard from your friend in Argentina?”

“Just that her plans are firming up. She’s moving through the process with both the State Department and IIT. Her scores and grades are good enough to get into IIT, and with Alejandra’s help, I’m sure she’ll both be accepted and get her student visa.”

“And she wants to continue her love affair?”

“That’s fairly clear, though I’ve been equally clear that I can’t commit to anything. She’ll have to live on campus as a Freshman, so she can’t really ask to live here.”

“Saving Rachel’s place?”

“You know just how complicated THAT is. Rachel is perfectly sane, but letting her move in invites ‘Crazy Town’ into the house because you KNOW Carla will have a cow about it and make things difficult, even if she can’t cause any real problems. And remember, Birgit offered to share her room with Rachel. But I’m not worrying about it until Spring of 2003 when she asks if she can move in.”

“So, no plans for the nanny room?”

“It’ll be a guest room for the near term. We’ll see what happens down the road.”

🎤 Birgit

When Dad came home from walking Mom to the ER, my mom went into the kitchen and Dad and I went to the sunroom to cuddle. His strong arms around me always felt amazing, and I wished I could cuddle with him forever!

“Dad, would it be OK if I stayed with Katy and Amy for a month? I’d leave the Monday after school is out and come back four weeks later. That’s before Mom goes to California.”

“Did you make sure it’s OK with Katy?” he asked.

“Yes. I IM’d with her yesterday. She said it’s fine so long as it’s fine with you.”

“It is. You’d really rather go there than Hawaii?”

I giggled, “I’m sure I’ll have a chance to go there at some point! You know, when I can wear a string bikini on the beach!”

“Every male within a mile will have a heart attack!” Dad teased.

“Or maybe my friends and I will talk to Samantha and go to Saint Martin and check out the nude beaches!”

“Loki help us!” Dad said, laughing.

“It’s so funny how you pretend he’s real! You do the same with Fate, too.”

“Yes, it’s called ‘personification’ and in some ways, it’s why there are so many gods or spirits in some religions.”

“Fatimah and her mom asked me about believing in God, well, Allah. I was careful how I answered, you know, like you said I should be. Her mom said I should read the Qur’an and talk to an imam.”

“Do you want to?”

“No!” I said firmly. “I agree with Aunt Cindi - why should a bunch of dumb old men tell me what to do?! And why should I live by the rules in some dumb book written over a thousand years ago?! I mean, seriously, Fatimah thinks she has to marry her cousin because her dad said so and that it’s somehow Allah’s will that she does that! And she’s not even allowed to kiss before she’s married! And I mean regular kissing, not ‘kissing’!”

“Remember what we talked about? How they have different traditions and how it’s up to them to decide how to live their lives?”

“Sure, but Fatimah isn’t deciding! Everything is being decided for her!”

“Which is different from how, say, Francesca’s mom acts? Or some of the other friends’ moms? I’m not talking about the cousins. The same is true for most of Jesse’s friends. None of them get to run their lives the way you do.”

“But their dads aren’t forcing them to marry someone! I mean, what if he’s dumber than the average ‘dumb boy’?!”

Dad laughed, “That’s pretty dumb in your book!”

“Worse than my brothers when they’re acting stupid! But what if she doesn’t like him? She has to cook and clean and fuck and she doesn’t have a choice!”

“Yes, that’s true. Maybe you should talk to my friend Anala about arranged marriages. She can explain them better than I can, because they’re a part of her tradition. She used a matchmaker to find her husband, and her family practiced arranged marriages before they moved to the US.”

“I tried to explain what I believe to Fatimah, but she’s been brainwashed!”

“That might be a bit extreme, Pumpkin. All of us are part of our traditions unless we expressly break from them. I’m a rebel in that way, and so is your mom. And that’s why you and Jesse are the way you are. But think about your siblings - are they rebellious?”

“You mean Matthew, Stephie, and Albert, right?”

“Yes.”

“No, they aren’t. They’re more like Uncle Pete and Aunt Melanie. I think Ashley is like that, too; Michael I’m not sure about.”

“And even Jesse is different from me, isn’t he?”

“You mean because he doesn’t want his own harem?” I giggled.

“Careful, Pumpkin!” Dad warned, but he was laughing, too.

“I know. But you gave us all the freedom to decide! If Francesca’s bitch of a mom hadn’t wigged out, she and Jesse would have been together forever!”

“And you?”

I giggled, “Katy, MC, and Mom all say I’m going to leave a trail of broken hearts!”

“But what do you want, Pumpkin?”

I couldn’t answer that question the way I wanted to, at least not yet.

“To enjoy my life! To be free to do what I want. Eventually, I’ll want to have a baby, but not for a LONG time! I want to have fun in High School and college, but also get good grades because I would never want to disappoint you!”

“I don’t think you could, Pumpkin.”

“Not even if I printed three more sheets of coupons?”

“Don’t press your luck!”

We both laughed and I snuggled close and we cuddled until Mom called us for breakfast. After breakfast, I did my laundry, sent a message to Katy letting her know I’d be staying for a month, then got ready for karate.

“Good morning, Mr. Felipe!” I said when we walked into the dojo. “Congratulations on your brown belt!”

He took my hand and kissed it, as he’d started doing earlier in the year.

“Why, thank you, «Tesoro»! You’re going to be ready for your black belt before you turn fifteen!”

“I think so, but it’s up to Sensei Jim!”

“No, «Preciosa», it’s up to you! You must find it within you to achieve the black belt, deep in your soul.”

“You believe in God?”

“Yes, of course! Who else could have made such a beautiful creature as yourself!”

I giggled, “My mom and dad!”

“Yes, that’s true, but not only them. God surely blessed them with you, just as he has blessed me with you!”

“I love you, Mr. Felipe, but I’m not sure I agree with you!”

“If you’re saying you’re not a blessing,” Dad smirked, “I won’t object!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it!” I giggled.

“Well, if any god had a role in making you, Pumpkin, it was Loki!”

“She is quite the trickster, is she not?” Felipe asked.

“You have NO idea!” Dad chuckled.

“It’s time to line up,” Mr. Felipe said. “We don’t want to be late!”

He and I took our places, standing next to each other, while Dad and Mom were in the front row, and my sisters lined up behind us.

🎤 Steve

“What did you want to do this afternoon?” I asked Kara and Suzanne while we relaxed in the sauna after lunch.

“Just hanging out here at home is fine with me,” Kara replied. “The girls are next door and Albert is with his Boy Scout Troop at a forest preserve, so it’s just the three of us.”

“That’s fine with me, too” Suzanne agreed.

“How was your outing with the girls from school last night?” I asked.

“Fun, though with the drinking age being twenty-one, it limits our options. But there’s a club on the North Side where they use armbands and stamps, so we can get in and hear live music and dance. Abbie suggested a place, but they’re carding hard and it’s twenty-one-only because they nearly lost their liquor license last year.”

“Just you five girls?” Kara asked.

“There were plenty of guys at the club!” Suzanne smirked. “But they were all VERY disappointed when we all left together.”

“Your group are all serious students,” Kara observed. “I can’t imagine any of the other four being wild partiers.”

“You can have lots of fun without being dumb!”

“My eldest daughter would disagree,” I chuckled. “At least for guys!”

“She doesn’t realize they eventually grow out of it,” Suzanne said.

I chuckled, “Oh, no, she actively rejects the idea that it’s even possible to grow out of it!”

Both Kara and Suzanne laughed.

“She’s been listening to your sister on that topic!” Kara teased. “And Sofia!”

“And Penny, and Melanie, and Jennifer,” I chuckled. “The list of women who say I can still be a «jävla idiot» at times is fairly extensive!”

“That’s not really true anymore,” Kara said.

“Better living through chemistry!” I chuckled. “Mary and Alejandra seem to have the dosage right, and I really haven’t had any mood swings in the past couple of months. Well, besides the ones that everyone considers normal because of Donna Grossi and Frank Spencer, as well as helping Samantha.”

“But that’s not a cure.”

“No, it’s not,” I agreed. “But it’s working. What happens long-term remains to be seen, but Al, Mary, and Alejandra are all satisfied with the outcome.”

“Are you?”

“You mean because last year, before I went on the medication, I had fifteen new girls? And during the previous manic phase that ended in Russia, I had nineteen new girls? Before that, it had been five or six.”

“Which seems to be the pattern for this year, or are you saying you don’t feel the need?”

“It’s not a compulsion, the way it was during my truly manic phases.”

“Just out of curiosity,” Suzanne said, “and implying nothing, but is there a ‘right’ number?”

“No, I don’t think so,” I replied. “It’s really a matter of staying on an even keel and taking life as it comes.”

“Or life providing you an opportunity to cum!” Kara teased.

“It’s not just that, though,” Suzanne replied. “Because he has plenty of chances for that right in this house! It’s something different.”

“In the past, before the doctors got a handle, albeit a tenuous one, on my physiology, it was a compulsion as I said, now it’s really just a matter of availing myself of opportunities when they present themselves. As an example, before December, I’d have taken Viv to bed without really a second thought because I would have felt a need to do it.”

“But you were always cautious, right?”

“Yes, but about consent. Intent was less of a concern, and you can see the results in what happened with Michelle York.”

“Not to be indelicate, but you met me during your manic phase.”

“That’s true, but think about how that developed and the hoops we all jumped through before it was consummated. Everyone knew I had a problem, and Kara and Jess did their best to guide me through it, with an outstanding result.”

“And if you had met me now?”

“A ‘What if?’ question?”

“Humor me?” Suzanne smirked, invoking the ‘magic words’ to get me to answer.

I chuckled, “I think it would very likely have worked out similarly to how it did. Take Viv as an example and compare her to your approach and what you wanted. Granted, if you had been direct like Viv, that might have raised red flags, but that wasn’t you, because you were looking for something very specific, even if you couldn’t have articulated it when you walked onto that plane to Colorado a year ago.”

“April 23rd, the day after your birthday. A fateful date in my life; probably the most important. And exactly three months later, the second most important - my initiation.”

“Meeting Steve was more important?” Kara asked.

“My initiation would have been impossible without Fate or Loki or the Universe bringing us together on that flight. That’s true about you two sitting down together in chemistry class, too. Had that not happened, no Birgit!”

I chuckled, “Somehow, I think our little force of nature would have bludgeoned her way into the world with, or without, cooperation from Loki! But what you’re identifying are the inflection points, and as in those two cases, they are relatively far removed from the outcomes they brought about. I learned quite a bit about those many years ago. I’m better at spotting them now, but not always, because of what we call the ‘law of unintended consequences’.”

“Like wanting to have the school stud take my virginity and just having a brief, torrid affair, which instead lead to a trio marriage, a bunch of kids, and tenure as a chemistry professor at UofC?” Kara asked with a huge smile.

“Something like that!” I chuckled.

“Steve,” Suzanne said, “Elyse approached me about something and I’m not quite sure what to make of it.”

“What’s that?”

“She asked how I was with managing money and balancing a checkbook. I told her my dad had taught me to be conservative with money and that my mom had taught me about managing my bank accounts.”

I instantly knew what it was about, and my first feeling was a pang of sadness, but as my mind processed the idea, I saw the logic to what Elyse was going to suggest.

“You know that she handles our household accounts, right? She pays all the bills, balances the checkbook, and so on. I believe she feels it’s time to turn it over to you.”

Kara smiled, “It always has been the ‘Senior Wife’ who handled it! And that was always Elyse, no matter what the paperwork might say or what anyone thought, including us.”

“But isn’t that you?” Suzanne protested.

“Yes, it is, but you’re filling every other part of Elyse’s role when she lived here, and before, when she and Steve shared the apartment.”