Chapter 20: Penetration

February 15, 2001, Chicago, Illinois

🎤 Steve

“How was your trip?” I asked when Jesse came into the arrival hall at Midway.

“It was OK,” Jesse replied, “but I couldn’t talk to Doctor Brown about a bunch of stuff she wanted to explore because of the dumb laws.”

“April?”

“Yes. And that meant I couldn’t really answer questions about why or how it came about, which kind of created a dead end.”

“I was afraid that would happen,” I replied. “Did you manage to talk about anything with her?”

“I took a personality inventory and an IQ test.”

“And?”

“Something called ‘ENFJ’ and ‘gifted’.”

“Neither of those surprise me. I would have guessed either ENFJ or ENTJ, Was the ‘F’ weak?”

“Yes! How did you know? From the book you have?”

“Yes. I’m ENTJ, with the ‘T’ being weak. We’re both logical, but you are a bit more empathetic than I am.”

“Do you think so? Or is it because you have to deal with Stephie and Ashley who are totally controlled by their emotions?”

“They’re better about that,” I replied. “But they’ll never be as logical and matter-of-fact as Albert.”

“He’s a lot like Grandpa Al and Aunt Jess.”

“That’s true. Just as you’re a lot like Mom One and me.”

“Unfortunately!”

“Would you like to walk home?”

“Orange line to the Loop and six ways to get home from there,” Jesse replied smugly. “And with traffic, I might actually get home FASTER that way.”

He had a point, though it was just after 10:00pm, so traffic wouldn’t likely be an issue. If it was, I’d just avoid the Stevenson and Dan Ryan Expressways and use city streets to get home. I decided to just let it be and not keep teasing. We crossed the street to the parking lot and got into my BMW.

“Did you have a good time with Mary and Don?”

“It was a ‘Joyful’ experience!” Jesse replied with a smirk.

“Believe it or not, that was Mary’s doing, not mine! She asked if I thought it would be amusing, which, of course, I did.”

“Would it be OK if I went back to Rochester next month? Doctor Mary said it was OK to stay with them during Spring break.”

“‘Joyful’ indeed!” I chuckled. “You know my take on things - that’s up to you, so long as it’s OK with Mary. You and I both know who the REAL boss is!”

“Mom Two!” Jesse replied. “But she’s really a pussycat!”

“You saw those cartoons, right?”

“They were on Cartoon Network when I was in first or second grade. Mom One made sure I saw them!”

“You also saw all the Scooby Doo episodes, right?”

“Yes. And Speed Racer and a bunch of cartoons Mom One said you guys watched like Pink Panther, Sherman and Peabody, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Underdog, and Tennesse Tuxedo.”

“Classic stuff! Did you ever watch Wacky Racers?”

Jesse laughed, “Uncle Terry made sure I saw them just so I could tease Aunt Penny! Penelope Margaret!”

I laughed, “I call her Penelope when I want to annoy her.”

“Me, too!”

“So you and Joy really hit it off?”

“‘Darmok’!”

“No way!”

“She picked up on a subtle Breakfast Club reference right after we met. She likes Star Trek and we watched Voyager together. I plan to go up on that Saturday to see her in Hamlet.”

“Cool. I’m curious, though - did you think I had set it up?”

“Obviously, and then I had the ‘Vizzini’ debate in my head and decided just to do what I wanted instead of trying to figure out how to mess with you. There are plenty of opportunities to mess with you that don’t interfere with cute girls!”

“No kidding,” I replied dryly. “I did hear from Doctor Anders today - we have an agreement for the Fall.”

“What favor do you owe him?”

“I won’t know until he asks. Remember how that works - you agree to grant any reasonable favor in the future. Maybe you never have to, or maybe the balance works against you, but it’s not about keeping score.”

“It’s about knowing you can ask if you really need to.”

“Exactly.”

“They get five slots, right?”

“Yes. That was the agreement. And they can have as many kids try out as they want. You’re losing eight players and coach only knows about two possible players for next year, so it’s not going to hurt anyone unless there are seven players from the Catholic school who can win spots on the team.”

“And Nicholas only has two other guys in his class who play, so even two years from now, we’re going to need them.”

“The agreement is for one year, but we can renew. Well, assuming the IHSA approves, but I don’t foresee a problem and neither does Coach.”

“Do they have anyone who wants to play goalie?”

“Coach talked to Doctor Anders, but he didn’t know about what positions.”

“We need a backup.”

“Coach is aware. He might have to just have you and an emergency goalie if there isn’t anyone. Just don’t get hurt or sick.”

“The Ducky body is immune to all forms of diseases and injuries!” Jesse smirked.

“Uh-huh! We’ll see what Mary says when they get your test results back.”

“She thinks it’s very likely that I just had a shock and that was all. That’s what she thinks about you, too.”

“Let’s just say in that instant I saw flashing red and blue lights and both of us being led away in handcuffs because Carol is insane.”

“Certifiably!” Jesse agreed. “I really hated how Uncle Pete handled it, but I know he was right. I know it really hurt Francesca, too, but given how crazy her mom is...”

“That was obviously everyone’s concern.”

“How did you feel when you made Aunt Kara go home after she ran away?”

“Like shit,” I replied. “But her dad had already called the cops and told them where he thought she was. She had a bit of a head start, just as Francesca did. I was fortunate that Grandma Nancy talked her first husband out of insisting I’d committed a crime.”

“He was a real jerk, too.”

“He was, but if you look at things from his perspective, he was doing what he thought was best for Kara. He truly did not like me, which he made clear, but otherwise, he didn’t prevent Kara from doing the things which were considered normal for teens in their church. He didn’t treat her like a baby, he was just concerned that she was sexually active with someone who had my reputation.”

“School stud?” Jesse smirked. “That’s how Mom Two described it.”

“You can ask Mom One and Melanie about THAT situation!”

Jesse laughed, “I have. She said it was partly her and Aunt Melanie’s fault. And I can see how at fourteen, you would go for that!”

“And you?”

Jesse laughed, “Let’s just say I’m happy to not have to deal with those kinds of decisions!”

“Is it OK to ask about Joy?”

“Sure. I don’t have a steady girlfriend and I like her. Maybe something happens; maybe it doesn’t. If I had a girlfriend, then nothing would happen. Honestly, if Francesca were still living here, I’d still be with her, and none of the rest would have happened except April.”

“What do you think about that now? I mean, a year later?”

“You mean do I regret it or think I did anything wrong?”

“Yes.”

“No to both. I know you have an issue with the fact that she cheated on Donny, but I still say that’s between her and Donny.”

“And if he were to find out? How might that affect you?”

“I think he’d probably be pretty angry.”

“And what might he do?”

“I see your point,” Jesse said. “But in the end, isn’t it up to April to decide?”

“Yes, of course. But that doesn’t change the point I’m making about how the potential consequences might be bad enough that you might reconsider the wisdom of your decision.”

“But aren’t we basically playing ‘What if?’?”

I shook my head, “No. This is about deciding in the future, not about the past. You can look back to what you decided to do in the past, learn from it, and then decide to handle a similar situation differently in the future. And I want you to think about how YOU would feel if your future wife decided it was OK to have an affair and not tell you about it.”

“You may have a point,” Jesse allowed.

“Then that’s all I’m going to say, unless you want to talk about it at some point in the future.”

“Can I ask you about cheating on Aunt Kara?”

“You can, and my response is that there are times when your sister is exactly right in her assessment of boys.”

“Mom One says that you were really depressed about that girl being forced to have an abortion.”

“Which is no excuse,” I replied, “but that was just part of my disastrous relationship with Becky. Did Mom One tell you about her part in it?”

“That she told you it was OK to have sex with Becky?”

“That, obviously, but I meant at the beginning.”

“‘Strip Chess’?”

“That was the tactic, but the real problem was Mom One wanted to hurt Becky because she was different from us. And to my own discredit, I went along with it.”

“I was thinking, too, that none of my friends, not even the cousins, know anywhere near as much about their parents as my brothers, sisters, and I know about you and all our moms.”

“All the moms and I agree that it’s a much better way to raise kids. You can understand that we had many of the same struggles you had, and that we made mistakes and learned from them, and hopefully, you can learn from our mistakes as well. It just seems hypocritical to try to pretend we’re something that we’re not.”

“Do you think it worked?”

“I think we have the best seven kids who were ever born, and they’re all turning out to be wonderful young men and women who will have very successful lives. But more importantly, you all love us, and I don’t think there’s anything more any parent could ask for.”

February 16, 2001, Oswego, Illinois

🎤 Matthew

“Hi, Matt!” Carly exclaimed when she got out of her mom’s car.

“Hi, Carly!” I replied.

She took my hand and we walked into the Junior High for the Girl’s Choice dance. Dad had told me about his Turnabout dances - first with Aunt Bethany, then another time with a girl named Cassie. I knew a lot about the first one, because Aunt Bethany had described it in her book, but I didn’t know too much about the second one, other than that Dad said he’d had a great time. Of course, with Dad, that probably meant getting laid, because, for Dad, it was pretty much ALWAYS about getting laid.

That said, I couldn’t criticize him too much because there were plenty of girls I knew who made ME want to do that, even though I had Chelsea. She wanted to do it, too, and she’d made it very clear that I would enjoy my birthday, and I was absolutely sure I knew what she meant by that. June 2nd could not come soon enough! As for Carly, she was pretty hot, and at fourteen, it appeared she was going to be really sexy. Well, she was already, but it would be in more of a grown-up way in a few years. Nice small boobs, nice hips, gorgeous eyes, and a cute butt that swayed from side to side when she walked.

We went to the cafeteria, which had all the tables moved out and which the Student Council had decorated for the dance. Mr. Fruits was acting as DJ, and he had a ton of good music. He was also cool, and would play some slow songs, even though some parents and teachers objected. Fortunately, the principal gave Mr. Fruits a fairly free hand, as he did with regard to drama, but I wondered how long that would last. Carly and I both saw some friends standing by the snacks, so we went over to wait with them until the music started.

“Hey, Matt!” Nick said.

He, Josh, and Matt W had been asked by three friends - Mary, Nellie, and Tara. Maggie and Mark weren’t at the dance because her parents, in addition to not allowing her to date, wouldn’t let her come to school dances, either. It seemed dumb to the rest of us, but her parents were what Mom called ‘Bible Thumpers’ and they had a totally different view of the world from the one my family had. Maggie’s parents wouldn’t allow Maggie in the sauna Mom had installed in the basement just before Christmas, even if Maggie was wearing a modest, one-piece bathing suit. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what her parents would think about Dad and how he and his friends used his sauna!

“Hey, Nick! Hey Josh! Hey Matt!” I replied.

We all shook hands and the girls all hugged Carly. We’d just started talking when Mr. Fruits put on the first song - Who Let the Dogs Out?, which made sense because our Junior High mascot was a bulldog. All of us went to the area of the cafeteria set aside as the dance floor and danced to the song as a group.

“This should become the tradition,” Nick said. “I’m going to suggest it to Fruits.”

“Cool idea,” Josh agreed.

The next seven songs were all either moderate or fast, so we just danced as a group before going to get something to drink. Mr. Fruits finally put on a slower song, I Wanna Be with You by Mandy Moore. Carly and I went to the dance area and I put my hands on her hips and she put hers on my shoulders. That was the ‘accepted’ way to slow dance, but mostly the chaperones wouldn’t interfere unless the dancing approached ‘Dirty Dancing’. As Mom said, they’d let us get away with dancing close, but not allow us to simulate having sex standing up!

The slow song was followed by Oops! ... I Did It Again by Britney Spears, which we danced to, and then we took a break while Mr. Fruits played American Bad Ass by Kid Rock, which we liked but couldn’t really dance to. That was followed by Too Little Too Late by Barenaked Ladies, which we could dance to, and then We Will Rock You, before Mr. Fruits took a ten-minute break.

The second half of the dance was all songs from the 70s and 80s, and there were a bunch of slow songs. Mr. Fruits was like my dad in that he thought most of the best music had been written before 1990. He played Pink Floyd, the Rolling Stones, REO Speedwagon, Chicago, Journey, and Billy Joel songs, along with some older songs like Twist and Shout and Rock Around the Clock. As he’d promised Nick and me, Mr. Fruits played three slow songs at the end, starting with Open Arms by Journey. When it started, Carly moved really close, so that her boobs were rubbing my chest when we danced.

“Would you ask me out?” she asked about halfway through the song.

I actually could, based on my agreement with Chelsea, but going out was the limit. I didn’t want to lead her on, though, because Chelsea and I were basically a couple and were going to spend the entire Summer together, and I was pretty sure we’d be what my mom called ‘steady’ after that, even if Chelsea was in Cincinnati and I was in Aurora.

“I would,” I replied. “But there’s a girl in Ohio I like. I’m spending the Summer with her.”

“I thought you didn’t have a girlfriend! That’s why I asked you to the dance!”

“Sorry,” I replied.

“You could have said something!” she protested, sounding annoyed.

“I figured it was just a dance and would be fun,” I replied.

“What-ever!” she huffed, dropping her arms and walking away.

Nick and Josh both mouthed ‘What?’ but I just shrugged and went to stand at the opposite end of the refreshment area from Carly. The guys danced to the last two songs, Keep on Loving You by REO Speedwagon and Just the Way You Are by Billy Joel. When the last song finished, my friends came over to me.

“What happened?” Josh asked.

“Carly is ticked because she wanted me to ask her out, but I really can’t because of Chelsea. I mean, I could, but I’m spending the Summer with Chelsea, and it wouldn’t be right to lead Carly on.”

“Dude, she’s hot for you!” Nick declared. “You should have gone for it!”

I shook my head, “I can’t cheat on Chelsea. It’s OK to come to dances and stuff, or even spend time with a girl, because Chelsea and I discussed it. But kissing or anything like that is a line I can’t cross and expect Chelsea to be OK.”

“So don’t tell her,” Nick said. “I mean, seriously, you can’t let a chick in Ohio cock block you like that!”

“It’s my decision, Nick,” I replied. “I want Chelsea to be my girlfriend.”

“Dude, she’s like 300 miles away!”

“So what?” I asked.

“You’re passing up the chance to make out and maybe even go all the way?”

“You might think that’s OK; I don’t.”

“I think I have to agree with Matt,” Josh said. “Chelsea is pretty sweet and they’ve basically been together since he was five.”

“Thanks, Josh,” I replied.

“Are we still heading to Gario’s for pizza?” Matt W asked.

“Sure,” I nodded. “And Carly is welcome to come with us if she wants, but it doesn’t look like she wants to.”

The girls came back from where they had been standing with Carly, but she didn’t come with them which didn’t surprise me. We all went outside to wait for our rides to Gario’s. We didn’t see Carly before Josh’s dad drove up in his Ford Explorer. We all piled into the SUV. I was a bit bummed at how things had turned out, but by the time we got to Gario’s, I was sure I’d made the right decision.

February 17, 2001, Apple Orchard Bed-and-Breakfast near Montpelier, Vermont

🎤 Birgit

We rose early on Saturday morning, and instead of running, Dad split and carried wood for the fireplace, showered, then had cuddle time with me before breakfast. We’d arrived late the previous evening, along with the Jagers and Quinns, and had basically gone right to bed, after Katy, Amy, and Davey greeted us. Now, after my usual morning routine with Dad, I was helping Katy, Mom, and Aunt Kathy bake apple pies. The apples weren’t fresh - they were ‘canned’ in what Katy called ‘Mason jars’, and so the pies weren’t quite as good as the Summer ones, but Katy compensated with a bit more cinnamon.