Chapter 19: They Made Me

February 14, 2001, Rochester, Minnesota

🎤 Jesse

“Seriously?” Joy protested.

“I told you!” I replied.

“I guess you can have your kiss.”

“Only if you really want to,” I replied.

“I said you could kiss me.”

“Yes, but I won’t do it unless you actually want me to.”

“You are the strangest boy I have ever met!”

“Thank you!”

She turned so I could kiss her, and I gently pulled her into my arms so that our bodies just barely touched, then gave her a very nice soft kiss.

“Not bad,” she replied.

“Not bad?”

“If you want to try once more, you can.”

Our lips touched again, and this time I tightened my arms to pull her body more tightly against mine, and kissed her again. Her lips parted and the soft kiss turned into a very nice French kiss, with our tongues gently touching, then dancing with each other for a few seconds.

“Better,” she breathed.

I released her from my arms and moved to pick up the remote control. I turned on the projection TV and the satellite box and found the correct channel for Voyager.

“Did you really just stop kissing me so you could turn on Star Trek?” Joy asked.

“You said one kiss, and I got two. And we agreed we were going to watch Voyager.”

Joy rolled her eyes, “Technically, I simply said you could kiss me if you were right. I didn’t say how many times.”

Well, if SHE was going to go there, then I certainly was going to follow along!

“You also didn’t say WHERE!” I smirked, running my eyes up and down over her body.

Before she could respond, a commercial ended and Voyager started. I quickly moved to sit in one of the comfortable chairs.

“A line like that and you walk away?” she asked, moving to sit in an identical chair next to me.

“Shh! The show is on!” I replied.

She made a face that was very much like the ones Mia made when she was annoyed, which I very much enjoyed. I was actually glad the show had started because I realized we were teasing in a way that could very possibly lead someplace she didn’t intend to go. I wasn’t sure it was a good idea to go there, because it seemed like something my dad would have done, and I didn’t want to go down that path. An occasional ‘dalliance’, as he called them, wasn’t out of the question; it was a matter of not making it the pattern of my life because it just seemed like a bad idea. It worked for Dad, and that was cool, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do.

The episode, ‘The Void’ was OK. Janeway was her usual annoying self, putting the ship and crew in danger by slavishly following her strict understanding of Federation rules. As Mom One always said, every good rule has exceptions, but Janeway didn’t believe that. Sisko, Picard, and Kirk all broke the rules, though for Kirk, sticking to the rules was the exception. While I agreed with Janeway in general, her idea that the entire crew would die before they became thieves, when all they would be doing is stealing back what had been stolen from them, bordered on insane fanaticism, something which I knew from history was very dangerous.

“She’s an idiot,” I said when Captain Janeway broke an alliance with a ship because in the past they had stolen BACK the parts they needed which had been stolen from them.

“Sisko is better,” Joy said when a commercial started. “But I think Picard is the best!”

“Their strengths are different. Sisko is very strong and decisive, and once he decides, you know he’s going to follow through. You could have a beer with him at Quark’s bar and it would be fun. Picard was like a philosopher-king. But other than with Beverly and Vash, he was totally aloof and boring. Going to Ten Forward with him would be like taking a sleeping pill! Of course, if you REALLY wanted to have fun, you’d hang out with Kirk or Riker! Worf might be fun, too.”

“And just what kind of fun do you mean?” Joy asked as the commercial ended. “Hmm?”

“Shh! The show is on!” I replied.

She made another face, but turned to watch the TV. I slid my hand over on top of hers to see how she’d respond. She turned her hand up so I could hold it, and we interlocked our fingers. We held hands until the show ended with the usual near-miracle resolution.

“How late can you stay?” I asked.

“It’s a school night, so normally I have to be home at 10:00pm. I only live three houses away.”

That meant we had less than an hour, which limited things pretty severely.

“Do you two want a snack?” Mary called down the stairs.

“No, thanks,” we both said.

“So, what kind of fun? Hmm?”

“That depends on where you let me kiss you!” I replied with a smirk.

“You’re not even fifteen! You probably haven’t even seen a girl naked let alone kissed her where you’re implying!”

I laughed, “As Don said, you have NO idea!”

“What?”

“My dad has a sauna in his house, and I’ve been in it since I was a baby.”

“So?”

“We use it naked, including with my dad’s friends and their kids.”

“No way! Guys and girls together? And adults and kids?”

“Yes. And no, I’m not kidding! As my dad says, nudity does not imply sex.”

“Your family is totally strange”

“You have no idea! So, interested in that kiss?” I asked with a smirk.

“I have to go home in like forty minutes,” she replied.

“You could sit in my lap if you wanted,” I offered.

Joy got up and moved to sit on my lap. All we did was kiss until she had to go home.

“Do you think you could come back sometime?” Joy asked as we walked upstairs just before 10:00pm.

“I could ask about coming up during Spring Break.”

“I thought you ran your own life!” Joy teased.

“I do! It’s the government that says I can’t! And the bank won’t give me a credit card to buy a ticket! And I have to ask Doctor Mary if I can stay here.”

“When is your break?”

“It starts on March 19th.”

“If you could be here the Saturday before, you could see me in the Spring play.”

“What play?”

It was five minutes before I could stop laughing enough to kiss her ‘good night’.

February 15, 2001, Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minnesota

“You never did tell me what was so funny last night when Joy left,” Mary said as we walked into the building at Mayo Clinic where she had her office.

“It’s an inside joke, really,” I replied.

“You two seemed to hit it off really well.”

“She asked me to come visit during Spring Break, which starts the 18th. Would it be OK to stay with you?”

“Yes. Have your dad or one of your moms call to confirm, please.”

“You know they’ll let me!”

“Yes, and YOU know that a minor going over state lines can be a problem.”

“Have I mentioned that the government sucks?”

“Not quite as often as your dad has! What day do you think you would come up?”

“Probably Saturday, which is the 16th. Joy wants me to see her act in the play at her High School.”

“Which play?”

“Hamlet,” I chuckled.

When Joy had told me the night before, as she’d left, I knew immediately that I’d been played, but I certainly wasn’t objecting. There was no doubt in my mind that she knew the line, because SHE was playing Gertrude! That had meant she knew the line, even if they were using a later edition of the play where the line was ‘The lady protests too much, methinks’. She’d WANTED to kiss and had found a way to ask without really asking. It was cute and funny and made me like her even more, because it’s the kind of thing I would have done!

“We’re going to get started immediately,” Mary said. “I reviewed your medical history and everything looks good.”

“It should! I mean, I have great muscle tone and beautiful eyes!”

“And an ego the size of Jupiter!”

“Hey, it’s not me! It’s doctors who have said those things! I’m just repeating them!”

“And you’re a smug bas ... individual just like your dad!”

“Well, technically, because my dad and Mom One weren’t married when I was conceived or born...”

Mary laughed, “And a smart ass, too!”

“Yep!” I agreed.

“Are you OK with my medical student participating?”

“Only if you took her to the woodshed.”

“Your dad told you?”

“He and Mom One talked yesterday morning about whether or not it was OK to have a medical student present because Aunt Jessica said you would need a release from Mom One. I have it, but I’m only supposed to give it to you if you think your talk with her was productive.”

“Enough, I think. Do you want a male doctor to check you for hernias?”

“Should I give my answer? Or Dad’s?”

“Why do I think both of those answers are completely inappropriate when discussing a medical procedure?”

“Is your OB/GYN male or female?” I asked, suspecting I knew the answer.

“Never mind, you little turkey!”

“Seriously, a doctor is a doctor. My pediatrician was Aunt Sofia, so it’s not like SHE didn’t do all my checkups and stuff.”

“OK. Just checking. I didn’t expect you to be modest or bashful about it.”

Mary dropped her satchel in her office, and after she paged her medical student, we went to an exam room.

“Play this straight, please,” Mary said. “With your dad, I know all the answers, but with you, I need you to be detailed and forthright.”

I smirked, “‘Sexually active?’ ‘VERY! It’s more fun that way!’”

“OK,” Mary laughed, “maybe not THAT forthright! Are you?”

“Yes. But not like my dad.”

“NOBODY is like your dad!”

“But it works for him and his wives, so it’s not really anybody’s business.”

“I agree, my observation was simply that he is outside the norm.”

“There is NOTHING normal about my dad!”

“Nor you, it seems! And you both wear it as a badge of honor.”

“Of course!”

Mary laughed and rolled her eyes. We entered the exam room and a minute later the medical student, Gloria, came in, and Mary introduced us. I gave Mary the release Mom One had signed, and Mary clipped it to the chart which she handed to Gloria.

“Go ahead and begin your medical history, please, Gloria.”

“Yes, Doctor Whittaker,” Gloria replied.

I answered all of her questions as best I could, and volunteered information when I felt she wasn’t asking the right questions. Most of it was basic stuff that I’d answered for Aunt Sofia or Doctor Kulczycki, along with asking about what had happened when Francesca had arrived.

“How long have you played hockey?” Gloria asked.

“I started skating when I was about two, and started hockey at five.”

“Have you had any injuries?”

I shook my head, “No. I told you before I’ve never had a broken bone or any major cuts or anything.”

“No sprains or strains?”

I shook my head, “Nothing more than being hot, sweaty, and tired after games.”

“No concussions? Shots to the face?”

“No. I’m a goalie so it’s even less likely than for skaters. Checking isn’t permitted and everyone wears cage helmets.”

“Do you exercise when you’re not playing?”

“Dad has weights that I use when I can’t be in the weight room at school. And I’ll play in a Summer league again this year.”

“How do you get to school?”

“I walk. It’s about twelve blocks, depending on how we walk.”

“Do you run? Ride a bike? Swim? Anything like that?”

“Sometimes I ride my bike to get to my friends’ houses, but not like for exercise. I mean, beyond what I get just riding. I know how to swim, but it’s not something we do regularly.”

“Have you played any other sport?”

“No.”

“Do you have any hobbies?”

“Not really. I like to read and play video games.”

“Which do you do more?”

“Read.”

“For school or pleasure?”

“Both.”

“How are your grades?”

“Very good. All A’s.”

“And your attendance?”

“I almost never miss. I’m missing today because I’m here for the exam.”

“Are you sexually active?”

“Yes.”

Gloria turned to Mary, “Doctor, he’s a minor under the age of consent.”

“Jesse, is your partner close to your age?” Mary asked.

“Yes. She’s about two months younger.”

“Minnesota law allows for that type of relationship,” Mary said firmly. “Mandatory reporting does not apply.”

“But he’s from Illinois, and...”

“And it’s irrelevant,” Mary interrupted. “You’re in Minnesota and you follow Minnesota law. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Doctor,” Gloria said, but not sounding like she agreed. “Jesse, do you practice safe sex?”

“There is no such thing,” I replied. “There is safer sex, but birth control of any kind can fail and you can contract an STI through any exchange of fluids. But I have an STI test every six months and my partner had one before we had sex, and she’ll have one later this month. And we’re very, very careful about birth control.”

“What form?”

“She’s on the Pill.”

“How old were you when you had your first sexual encounter?”

“Fourteen.”

“And nobody forced you or abused you?”

“Nobody HAD to force me!” I declared. “I like having sex!”

I saw Mary smirk, but she was standing behind Gloria, so Gloria couldn’t see her.

“Do you smoke, drink alcohol, or take any illegal drugs?”

“No. Yes. No.”

“You drink?”

“We’re allowed to have wine with dinner. And before you say anything, that’s legal in Illinois. My parents are allowed to serve me alcohol.”

“Do you drink other times?”

“No. Dad let me taste bourbon when I was younger and I didn’t like it.”

“How much do you drink?”

“Usually just Sunday nights and only a glass.”

“Why Sunday nights?”

“That’s when we have our extended family dinner with all my siblings and their moms, plus some others, including my Aunt and her kids.”

Gloria turned to Mary, “I think that’s everything, Doctor Whittaker.”

“Jesse, Gloria will do the exam, if that’s still OK, and then I’ll check her results.”

“Sure,” I replied.

“We’ll need you in just your undershorts,” Gloria said. “There’s a gown on the end of the exam table.”

I quickly undressed and put on the gown. Gloria did the usual stuff - listening to my heart and breathing, checking my ears, eyes, nose, mouth, pulse, and muscle tone. She also checked for hernias, and I was SO tempted to make a sassy comment but I knew it was neither the time nor the place to do it. When Gloria finished the exam, Mary basically redid it and confirmed the results.

“What do you propose for his exams, Gloria?” Mary asked.

“Full blood chemistry, including a glucose panel; EKG; and based on his father’s condition, an MRI. I don’t think a cardiac stress test is warranted, nor an EEG, again, based on his medical history and his father’s.”

“I concur.”

The rest of the morning was taken up by my tests, and then I had lunch with Mary, Gloria, and the two Attending physicians who were overseeing Mary’s work because she was still a Resident. After lunch, Mary walked me to Doctor Clara Brown’s office.

“When you’re done, just come back to my office,” Mary said. “We’ll have dinner with Don, then get you to the airport for your flight home.”

“Any chance you could invite Joy?” I asked.

Mary laughed, “I’ll call her mom and see if she’s available.”

“Thanks!”

Mary left and Doctor Brown and I sat down in chairs that were like the ones my dad had in his study. She was really pretty, though she sure wasn’t a ‘Steve type’ as Aunt Elyse referred to the girls dad preferred. Doctor Brown was more like Liz, who was Dad’s lawyer and former lover.

“Did your dad tell you what I wanted to talk to you about?”

“No, but I assume it’s his mental health issues! He has a lot of them!”

Doctor Brown laughed, “I believe he blames you for the majority of them!”

I shook my head, “That would be my sister! She can drive ANYONE crazy, and for Dad, it’s a really, really short drive!”

“I get the picture that things at your house are very irreverent.”

“You mean we tease each other and that all of us kids can tell my dad exactly what we think?”

“Yes. Do you think that’s good?”

“Yes. None of us kids have any real trouble with our parents the way some of my friends do. Of course, if you repeat that to my moms or my dad, I’ll deny it!”

Doctor Brown laughed, “You are a real pistol!”

“Grandpa Block, who is Mom One’s dad, says I come by it completely honestly and that the nuts don’t fall too far from the tree!”

“Mom One is your birth mom?”

“Yes. Jennifer Block. Mom Two is her wife, Josie Dalton.”

“And they’ve been together for how long?”

“My whole life. They were together before Mon One and Dad made me. Mom Two helped.”

Doctor Brown laughed, “You mean the three of them had sex together and that’s when you were conceived?”

“I said ‘helped’,” I smirked.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’! Will you agree to be serious for the rest of the afternoon?”

“I’m not sure I can!” I chuckled. “But I’ll try.”

“That will do. Tell me about your relationship with your parents.”

“You mean all three?”

“Yes. How about we start with how you came up with the names.”

I shrugged, “I don’t even remember. I called them Mama One and Mama Two when I was little, and then changed to Mom One and Mom Two when I got older. I guess I needed a way to tell them apart; Dad says it probably came from Doctor Seuss and ‘Thing One’ and ‘Thing Two’. Of course, he might also have been teasing my moms with that.”

“You liked Doctor Seuss?”

“I loved those books! I still do, actually. I memorized some of them, including Fox in Sox, Are You My Mother, and Go Dog. Go!.”