Chapter 129

Ten minutes later, I went out with the orchestra. They tuned up.

Coming out next, were Charles and Peter.

“What’s wrong, Charles?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“Come on, you can tell us?”

“All of my closest friends have or are getting married,” Charles responded.

That got a reasonably nice applause.

“Is that the only reason you are so upset, Buddy?” Peter said.

“You have got a Hot wife, so does Michael, as well as Stuart.”

“You have got a pretty girl in Shirley. Wait a few years, then you may get married as well.”

“I know, but I still get worried.”

Shocking me was Shirley, who came out and gave Charles a great big kiss. It appeared spontaneous. She walked away, as Charles said somewhat breathlessly, “I guess ... I can wait.”

During the laughter and applause, the stage went dark and I said, “Ladies and gentlemen ... Charles, Peter and the entire Gold Standard Society, would like to say “Hello.”

The show went on from there, after which I played and sung by myself...

Summertime,
And the livin’ is easy
Fish are jumpin’
And the cotton is high

Oh, Your daddy’s rich
And your mamma’s good lookin’
So hush little baby
Don’t you cry
One of these mornings
You’re going to rise up singing
Then you will spread your wings
And you will take to the sky
But until that morning
There’s a ‘nothing can harm you
With daddy and mammy standing by

(A chance for me to play some blues.)

One of these mornings
You’re going to rise up singing
Then you will spread your wings
And you will take to the sky

But until that morning
There’s a ‘nothing can harm you
With daddy and mammy standing by

With daddy and mammy standing by...

I had never even tried a blues number before, but it seemed to pour out of me ... and the audience was very kind.

As it dropped in volume, I invited everyone to “Arendelle” and that part of the show went off very well, with Joan amping up as she led the song “Fixer-Upper” with a new-found confidence.

We went on our break, and Jennifer gave me a massive kiss. “I never heard you sing like that before. You’ve got soul and raw emotion just oozing out of you, don’t you?”

“It did feel different, that’s for sure.”

“Here’s some water, lover! What would you like from the food table?”

“A couple of hot dogs plain, so I don’t get any food on my shirt?”

Mom, JenJen, Clarice, and Tracy all came over together.

“He doesn’t look any different?” Tracy said.

“But, he is,” JenJen added.

“What are you talking about?”

“The ‘responsible’ Michael,” Clarice said. “Married, his voice has finally changed, and he has no more acne.”

They all laughed at that.

“That doesn’t matter as much especially when I got a platter of pretty princesses like you all are.”

“Well said, Mr. Thomas,” came through my ear.

“I have promised to accrue no more persons to my harem, but you are all founding members. And my member remembers all the members.”

They all giggled at my mess of dialogue as Jennifer came back with my food. “If you want ... I can beat them all up for you loverboy,” she said handing me one of my dogs. “All but Mrs. Chapman. I remember she’s got ninja skills.”

I quickly ate the two hotdogs, smacking my lips and licking my fingers, as my mature posse stepped away.

I drank ... no, I slammed another water, and was ready for the second half of the evening. I think it’s about time to overhaul the show ... not necessarily tonight, but to break it into an evening of “What the hell is Michael going to do next?”

After getting the word from my brother-in-law, we started up, with Mary Mitchell and Julie Adams singing “The Girl(s) In A Country Song.” They have a kick strutting around the stage and when it was all over, the whistles were as pervasive and the cheers and applause.

James and Joan followed that up with the country ballad “Like We Never Loved at All.” It looks like they are back in sync with each other as it ended with an almost too hot kiss.

I followed that up by playing, along with the entire Society on stage, my rendition of “Saturday In The Park”...

Saturday in the park
I think it was the Fourth of July
Saturday in the park
I think it was the Fourth of July

People dancing, people laughing
A man selling ice cream,
singing Italian songs
“Eh Cumpari, ci vo sunari”
Can you dig it (yes, I can)
And I have been waiting
such a long time
For Saturday

(The brass section was featured)

Another day in the park
You’d think it was the Fourth of July
Another day in the park
You’d think it was the Fourth of July

People reaching,
people touching
A real celebration
Waiting for us all
If we want it, really want it
Can you dig it (yes, I can)
And I have been
waiting such a long time
For the day...

The fifty-something’s in the audience got a kick out of that, so I followed it right up with “Who Are You”...

(Nancy, Honey, and Jason get a quick groove going)

Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?

JAMES
I woke up in a Soho doorway
A policeman knew my name
He said, “You can go
sleep at home tonight
If you can get up
and walk away”
I staggered back
to the underground
And the breeze
blew back my hair
I remember throwin’
punches around
And preachin’ from my chair

Well, who are you?
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me, who are you?
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
‘Cause I really wanna know
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)

I took the tube back out of town
Back to the rollin’ pin
I felt a little like a dying clown
With a streak of Rin Tin Tin
I stretched back and I hiccupped
And looked back on my busy day
Eleven hours in the tin pan
God, there’s got to be another way

Well, who are you?
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
Who are you?
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
Come on Tell me,
who are you?
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
Who the hell are you?
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
Who are you?

(I’ll wager no one has ever included six violins and a harp in this song!)

Ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa
Ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa
Ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
I really wanna know
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
Come on tell me, who are you?
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
‘Cause I really wanna know
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)

I know there’s a place you walked
Where love falls from the trees
My heart is like a broken cup
I only feel right on my knees
I spit out like a sewer hole
Yet still receive your kiss
How can I measure
up to anyone now
After such a love as this?

Who are you?
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
Come on tell me, who are you?
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me, tell me who are you?
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
Come on come on who?
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
Who are you?
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
Who are you?
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
Come on tell me, who are you?
(Who are you?)

I really wanna know
I really wanna know
Come on tell me,
who are you, you, you, you?
Who are you?

After the over six-minute song, James bowed and had my orchestra did as well. I pointed out Miss Graham who really showed her mettle on the drums tonight, so far.

“We are often asked about rap music. My only trouble with it, is the tendency to be violent and barnyard in the language used. However, some time ago, at a rehearsal at my home, one of my singers got up and did a marvelous version of a Will Smith classic. Honey, give us a medium rap beat please ... Ladies, give it up for ... Peter...”

(He is a much better singer and also something of a dancer, he gave me a look, then sang it... )

Now ... this is the
story all about how
my life got flipped,
turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute,
just sit right there
I will tell you how I became
the prince of a
town called Bel-Air

(The horns and other percussion came in)

In west Philadelphia,
born and raised
On the playground was
where I spent most of my days
Chillin’ out, maxin’,
relaxin’ all cool
And all shootin’ some b-ball
outside of the school
When a couple of guys,
were up to no good
Started making trouble
in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared
And said “You’re moving
with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air.”

I begged and pleaded
with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase
and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and
then she gave me my ticket
I put my Walkman on and said,
“I might as well kick it.”

First class, yo, this is bad
Drinking orange juice
out of a champagne glass
Is this what the people
of Bel-Air livin’ like?
Hmm! This might be alright!

But wait, I hear they’re prissy,
bourgeois and all that
Is this the type of place that
they should send this cool cat?
I don’t think so
I will see when I get there
I hope they’re prepared
for the Prince of Bel-Air
The plane landed
and when I came out
There was a dude
who looked like a cop
standing there with my name out
I ain’t trying to get arrested
yet I just got here
I sprang with the quickness
like lightning, disappeared
I whistled for a cab
and when it came near
The license plate said “Fresh”
and it had dice in the mirror
If anything, I can say
that this cab was rare
But I thought “Nah, forget it,
yo Holmes, to Bel-Air.”

I pulled up to the house
about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabbie
“Yo Holmes, smell ya later.”
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as
the prince of Bel-Air