“Thanks for coming in. Sorry we had to do it in the studio.”

“No problem, it’s great to have the chance to audition for a part.”

“Sure. I know what it’s like in this town. Hard to even get noticed, huh?”

“Tell me about it! My agent said this is some Greek myth thing? Perseus & Andromeda?”

“Yes. Well, gods, monsters, that sort of thing. A lot of CGI, effects but needs convincing actors too.”

““Well, I’m your woman then. So, CGI – that’s why the green screen?”

“Uh huh. I want to see how you’d look in the set, but they haven’t drawn it yet. I’ll take a few tests and we’ll matte the background in later.”

“That’s OK, I’m happy to work with a blank screen. No worse than some of the actors I’ve had to face off with.”

“So, anyway the idea is that you’re playing Andromeda...”

“Ah.”

“Problem?”

“No. No, don’t worry...”

“You know the story. You’re the daughter of Cassiopeia who claims your more beautiful than the sea nymphs. They get Poseidon to unleash the monster Cetus to ravage the land in revenge. Your father agrees to sacrifice you to Cetus to appease Poseidon and the nymphs.”

“Yes, sure.”

“Then there’s the crucial scene. Where you’re chained to a rock – that rock over there – and in dread of the monster before you’re rescued.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I thought we’d try that scene.”

“This isn’t just you getting off on some kink is it?”

“Look, do you want the part or not?”

“Sure, but...”

“Look let’s try it. What do you think is going to happen? I’m not Cetus. I’ve got twenty other girls interested in trying out for this.”

“OK. But I’m not sure I’m happy with this.”

“I understand. I’ll call my assistant in. Would that make you happier?”

“Yes. That would be better.”

“Fine. I’ll call her now ... Miss Danae? Can you come and join us? OK, well as soon as you can ... She’ll be right in.”

“OK. Fair enough. Now, where do you want me?”

“Over by the rock. There’s some chains and cuffs. Just clip them around your wrists.”

“That’s a bit of stretch. OK done that. How does that look?”

“Pretty good. You’re very – ah – lithe – sinuous even. Let me see how you struggle. Yes. Very good. Very good.”

“Hey, these cuffs are pretty rough. Hang on I can’t unclip this. What happened to Miss Tangy anyway?”

“Don’t worry, she’ll be in in a minute.”

“I’d be happier if we unfastened this.”

“Are you sure. You look pretty good like that. Even better if we...”

“Hey, leave my blouse alone. Get your hands off my tits. Don’t mummmm!!”

“Hush Andromeda, don’t cry out or the sea monster will get you. Now just show me how well you can struggle. I’m sure you’re going to be ideal for this. Are you going to behave?”

“Hmm? Mmmm.”

“Good. Sensible girl. Now let’s have another look. Maybe if I loosen off your skirt? Have a look at how your legs look.”

“My arms are aching up like this.”

“Every actress has to suffer for her art, dear.”

“Ahh. Where’s Miss Danae?”

“Don’t worry about her. Your belly is so smooth, isn’t it. That’ll look good on camera. Uh, what’s that?”

“What’s what? Are you going to let me down?”

“All in good time. Your bag, it looks like it’s moving.”

“Ah, look let me down. Don’t touch it. Whatever you do don’t look in it. Why don’t you just let me down?”

“Why not? What have you got in there? Some little miniature dog or something? I’ll just see if it’s OK.”

“No, don’t you’ll...”

“It’s OK, I’ll just UHHHH!”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Now, how the hell will I get out of these cuffs? ... Miss Danae! Miss Danae! MISS DANAE!”

“Oh, goodness what’s happened. Miss, I’m sorry I didn’t come in earlier, it’s just that he expects me to...”

“Sure, I understand. Can you undo these cuffs, anyway.”

“There. Goodness that must have been uncomfortable. Did he do this? I mean you can’t tell anyone. He’s just a bit – well ... Where did he go anyway? And who delivered this statue? It looks just like him.”

“Statue? Oh, yes, statue. Look if the movie goes ahead can you tell whoever’s directing that I’d still be interested in auditioning. It’s just I was more interested in another part. Can you let them know I’d be happy to read for Perseus. OK? Now, I’d better take that bag.”