Chapter 16

Samlock walked out of the larder. He hadn’t expected to step through into a food cave, but the arrangements left some details a little vague; this kind of thing had not been done for a while. At the same instant, Angela was in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet as it happened ... and then she wasn’t. She was found in some bushes luckily; appearing in the kings chamber, which had been the intention, with her arse uncovered, squeezing a poo out would have been devastating. She had had time to wipe her bum and dress before a couple of guards appeared and (with more friendliness than they had with Caroline) invited her to come with them. Angela knew immediately where she was, Krill had described it in detail.

“Looks like I’ve gone crazy too” she said out loud.

“Oh no, love. You’re just in King Grelgg’s land” replied Caroline, and helped her start to comprehend the elfen speech around her.

In the dell, Demelza had seen the new elf, and run to Krill. Krill knew what this meant and chased to the bathroom. Normally he allowed the girls to shit undisturbed; he knew they liked privacy for that most natural of functions; this time he simply burst in, and swore when Angela wasn’t there.

“Samlock, you piece of clumbat crap; go back and send my friend back here”

“Relax Krill, she will be treated kindly and will be only a short time. We needed to test if this worked, and we needed to contact you. We have the human who balanced you, she is claiming Right of Mit, but we may find a way round that; then you and she can swap back.”

“Right of Mit? She is human, she has no rights. Oooh, she is pregnant? As mother she may speak for her young until they are... ?”

“One year. Yes”

“Well, the girl you have just taken is also expecting; my child. I shall not desert her. And her elfling is also under the Right of Mit. Perhaps you are stuck here too?”

Samlock went pale, which for a white skinned creature like an elf was difficult. In fact his face became a subtle pink. He had learnt now how to persuade elf-maids to let him stroke them, in return for favours freely given. He didn’t want to lose that and have to poke these ugly humans with their hairy groins. He looked up to see Demelza advancing on him with a large kitchen knife.

“Demelza! No!” shouted Krill and then to Samlock “DO NOT HARM HER”. Samlock had drawn his own knife.

“Give me back my sister!” she shouted. Krill tripped her and Samlock held his arms up to show he would not harm her.

“She is safe, and I swear, she will return. She cannot claim the Right of Mit unless someone tells her about it”

In the elf land, Caroline was looking at the new visitor and saying “My God! You’re pregnant. I can tell! How old are you? Did that bloody elf do this? What a bastard!”

“No, Krill is the kindest person, elf or human, I have known. He will be distraught at my disappearance. To the pregnancy; yes, I’m expecting his child. Demelza, my sister is quite jealous I think. She hoped ... but not yet anyway. But I can see that you too are expecting.

Soooo he was telling the truth all this time. I’m amazed, I thought he was just a really nice loony.” he whispered to Caroline “loony but very good at sex” Then she raised her voice again “But he will be worried about where I am”

“He will know” said An’n-Krill, who had come in, “I am his mother.” She looked at Caroline, with something like a scowl; though she knew that the Krill she knew would happily impregnate this pretty thing. “Would you like some refreshment?” Angela was looking out of the window.

“That’s a zebra. What’s it doing here?”

“Replacement for the deer he was chasing probably” explained An’n-Krill. The king and An-Krill were smiling and tapping their feet. Smiling, because they surmised that Krill would be happy to escape from the pregnant human by returning, and tapping their feet in impatience at the way females of all species could get distracted. They tried to tell Angela what she had to do. She told them she had no need to be talked down to. The king was irritated, once more these humans were undermining his authority.

Caroline was deputised to look after the newcomer. Angela just wanted to see everything. “My God a unicorn! It’s lovely. There’s that zebra again! Why is the castle made of glass? That’s a horse, oh, was it your horse? But what swapped for his dogs? One came back to him, the others didn’t. They are fuckin’ huge! Krill said they were all the same size as Crena. We ran away from a home and Krill looked after us. And he wouldn’t have sex until we were ready. But when I was I realised what I’d been missing and – what the hell is that thing? A pig man?”