Chapter 5

I was sitting in the front-porch swing wondering where Gianna was when she sneaked up behind me and put her hands over my eyes.

“Where have you been?” I asked, trying to sound like a father.

She sat down beside me, pushed off with her feet, and we started swinging.

“Carol’s. I told her about Azee. Would you help me, you know, get them to ask me and Carol on a double date?”

“Sure. How about next Tuesday night? There’s a free concert on campus. The university orchestra is playing Broadway musical songs. Maybe Alex and I could go with you if you promise to be good with Azee.”

“If Carol and I give them blowjobs, they’ll probably say we’re good.”

“Gianna, you know I’m supposed to watch out for you until Mom and Dad are home. Leave me a note when you go somewhere. And you just cool it with Azee.”

“I’m sorry, Mikey. Is it OK if we just give them a hard time?”

“Yes, but not too hard.”

“Are we cooking tonight?”

“Yeah, I’ve already made the stew. It’s simmering. You can make a green salad and toast some bread, you know, like we like it, olive oil and garlic or olive oil and Romano cheese, maybe bruschetta if we’ve still got some vine-ripe tomatoes. You choose. Make some iced tea too.”

“What kind of stew?”

“Italian sausage, pasta, onions, and green beans in tomato sauce with red wine. See if there’s enough of that box wine we like in the fridge, that chillable red. If not, put another box in. It’s good with the stew.”

“No garlic?”

“Of course, you know I can’t cook without garlic.”

“I like your stew, Mikey. What were you doing when I walked up? It looked like you were off somewhere, like lost in a fog.”

“I was just thinking about me and Alex. Sometimes I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, talk to me. I’m a girl.”

“Today, after we had lunch together and I had to go to my afternoon class, I hugged her and kissed her and then just held her.”

I wanted to tell Gianna what happened when the two idiots saw us but I didn’t want to make her mad. She had a temper sometimes, especially when somebody said something to hurt me.

“Nothing wrong with that. What kind of kiss?”

“It wasn’t a tonsillectomy. It was just a kiss to let her know how I felt, sort of gentle and slow and sweet, I guess.”

“Girls like kisses like that too. Did you give her a little tongue?”

“Yeah, just for a second. She gave me a little teaser in return.”

“Nothing wrong with that either.”

“Gianna, I had my eyes closed when we kissed and I kept them closed while I held her. I felt at peace and content and happy and I wanted to just keep on holding her forever. I really like having her in my arms.”

“Sounds like the love bug has bit you.”

“I don’t know. I just know I don’t want to hurt her. You know I don’t have much experience with girls. What if I do something wrong? What if I get too fast with her? I think about maybe marrying her but I don’t know what I’m getting into.”

“Her pussy is between her legs, Mikey. That’s what you want to get into.”

“Yeah, I do, but I don’t want to do that unless she loves me and wants it. I’ve been thinking about doing her the same way I did you the other night.”

“I don’t know about that. You almost blew my mind. Where did you learn to do stuff like that?”

“Nowhere. I just did what I felt like doing with you. I love you too, you know. I wanted you to enjoy it.”

“Well, I did. If that’s a taste of what sex is like ... phew. Maybe I could get Azee to do me.”

“Yeah, and I could do Alex at the same time. We could have an orgy.”

“That would be nice. Quit teasing me.”

“Maybe we could all get naked and get in a pile.”

“Yeah, and you could suck Anthony’s dick while Zorba sucks yours.”

“Shit. Quit teasing me.”

I looked at my watch: 8:30. I knew it was late but I wanted to see her. I called on her cellphone. She answered, “Hello, Mikey.”

“How did you know it was me?”

“You’ve got a special ringtone on my phone,” she said. “Mom has one. So does Dad. Azee has another. You’ve got your own.”

“Did you program it like that?”

“Yes, it’s easy.”

“May I come over for a few minutes?” I asked. “I need to see you.”

“Can’t we just talk?”’

“No, I need to hold you.”

“I’m about ready to go to bed. So’s the rest of the family.”

“That’s OK. Please! I just need to see ... I mean, hold you for a minute.”

The front porch light was on when I got there and she answered the door when I rang the doorbell. She had on a long white t-shirt that barely covered her good parts. I saw a little strip of white panties on one side. I stepped inside, shut the door, wrapped my arms around her and held her. I glanced in the living room and saw her parents and Azee all ready for bed, about half naked like Alex. The TV was on but they were all turned looking at us. I didn’t care. I kissed Alex as gently as possible, put my hand behind her head, held her against me, and shut my eyes.

“Get a room,” Azee said.

“I want to say something from my heart and I don’t care who listens,” I said.

Azee started to say something but Margaret cut him off.

“Shut up, Azee.”

“Alex, for years I’ve felt like a nomad wandering the desert and needing something to drink and then one day I walked upon an oasis, an English class, and you were there and the first time I held you in my arms it seemed like I drank from you and somehow everything was alright and I wasn’t thirsty anymore.”

“Whew,” Azee said. “That’s heavy.”

“Yeah, I think they better get a room,” the other Azee said.

“Shut up, Azee,” Aiden said.

I looked at Margaret and Aiden. “Do you understand? Azee doesn’t. It’s not about sex. It’s about love. I know it’s late but I just had to see her and hold her. Like I said, I drink from her.”

“I understand, Mike,” Aiden said. “I felt the same way with Margaret when we started. Still do. When she holds me, everything’s right with the world. Maybe Azee will understand when they grow up.”

I wanted to tell them. “Today, something happened at school when Alex and I were saying goodbye and I was going to my afternoon class. I was holding her like this and I kissed her like I did a minute ago and shut my eyes and just held her for a few seconds. I heard somebody say, ‘Look at that. Them two freaks have found each other. Ain’t that sweet?’ That was the girl and then the guy said he bet he could freak her out with his penis. Why are people like that? We’re not freaks.”

“That was Gloria Morgan, Mikey,” Alex said. “The guy was probably a football player. My friends say she’s had sex with about half the football team and the other half is waiting in line. That’s not really the way my friends said it but I cleaned it up for my parents.”

“Well, I cleaned up what the two idiots said too,” I said. “Tonight I was thinking about what happened and wishing I had done something to protect Alex from sh ... stuff like that. I just wanted to come over and hold her and maybe we could drink from each other and stuff like that wouldn’t hurt us and we could both sleep better.”

Margaret walked over to us, silky pink nightgown down to mid-thigh, and put her arms around me and Alex. I saw tears in her eyes. Aiden came over, black cotton shorts, and hugged us too. I felt overdressed in shorts and knit shirt and sandals.

“Don’t let the shitheads bother you, Mike,” Aiden said. “You should be proud of the way you and Alex are with each other. I am. Someday you’ll be glad you lived by your own standards.”

Margaret turned and buried her face in Aiden’s shoulder. I heard her sob. Azee walked over to us, both wearing just exercise shorts hanging off their butts, and hugged up against the four of us. I felt better, like I was drinking from all of Alex’s family.

“The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog,” Azee said, grinning.

“Shut up, Zorba,” I said.

“Damn, Mom, Mikey did it again!”

“If the rest of you can shut up for a minute, I’d like to say something,” Alex said, and waited until she was sure everybody had shut up.

“I’ve got a room. I’m about to take Mikey to my room. We’re going to shut the door. I understood what he said. I need to drink from him too. We’re just going to hold each other and talk; that’s all.”

She took my hand and we started down the hall toward her bedroom.

Azee started to say the quick brown fox again. “Shut up, Anthony,” Zorba said.

We went in her bedroom, crawled in her bed, and held each other as close as possible while still wearing something. About fifteen minutes later, she went with me to the front door. With her family watching, she kissed me for the first time that night, her kiss, not mine, a good kiss with a little tongue. She smiled at me and shut the door. I was not thirsty anymore.

Carol couldn’t go to the concert with us. She had let her grades slip and she couldn’t go out during the week, just on weekends. Gianna had two dates, Azee. I had just one, Alex. Mom let me use her car to go to the concert and I let Gianna drive to the Andreas’ home.

Summer concerts were all casual and the five of us were dressed almost the same: sneakers, shorts, and knit shirts. When we picked up Alex and Azee, she had a light sweater over her shoulders. She and Gianna disappeared in her room for a while and, when they came out, Gianna had a sweater casually draped over her shoulders too.

Gianna sat in the back between Azee and they whispered back and forth. Alex sat up front with me and put her hand on my leg. I heard lots of giggling in the back seat but I tried not to look in the rear view mirror.

During the concert one Azee had his arm around Gianna’s shoulders and the other held her hand. Then the next time I looked they had switched. I held Alex’s hand part of the time and put my arm over her shoulders the rest. She let her hand rest on my leg, slowly moving it up until it was about eight inches from my penis. Then she moved it about two more inches. After that, it was about two inches from my penis. I slapped her hand gently and then held my hand and hers against her leg.

The concert was great. The university orchestra was made up of students but they played like professionals. The emcee had everybody laughing between selections. The chorus was composed of regular students too and they had great voices. They even danced to some selections from Oklahoma. I knew it was supposed to be a two-hour concert but, as they say, time flies when you’re having fun. It was a simple first date, a free concert aimed at college students. When we left, Alex held my arm and all the students that looked at us smiled and nodded or said something nice.

When we got out of the car at her house, Alex invited us in for a minute but told us to be quiet because her parents would already be in bed. There was a light on near the front door and a light on in the kitchen. The front hall and the living room were almost dark.

Alex held her head up to me and I knew what she wanted. It was what I wanted too. We wrapped our arms around each other and kissed. It started as a gentle lips-to-lips kiss and then an open mouth with tongues kiss.

I opened my eyes briefly to see if Azee and Gianna were watching. They weren’t. One Azee was kissing Gianna about the same as I was kissing Alex and the other was standing behind her with his hands on her shoulders. As I watched, she turned around and the other Azee quickly got another lip-lock on her. Gianna and Azee made a beautiful couple even if they were a threesome.

I closed my eyes and kept on kissing Alex. My penis developed about half a hard-on again and I had on boxer shorts with room for it to grow. Alex pressed herself against me and I moved my hips around against her. When I opened my eyes again, Azee and Gianna were watching us, all three grinning, and they both had their arms around her. I knew I had to stop. We all grinned at each other for a moment and then I grabbed Gianna’s hand and we went back out to the car. Gianna teased me about trying to drive with something hard in my shorts.

“Hello, Mikey.”

“Hello, Alex. Are you busy?”

“No, I just brushed my hair. I’m getting ready for bed.”

“Have you got time to talk with me?”

“Yes. About what?”

“Two short sentences. One is three words, a simple declarative sentence. The other is four words, an interrogative sentence.”

“Is the first one eight letters?”

“Yes.”

“Perhaps it’s too early to say those words, Mikey.”

“Maybe but it’s not too early to think about saying them.”

“Have you been thinking about them? I have. At least the first one.”

“I’m glad. Alex, I want you to know what I mean when I say them to you. OK?

“Yes, Mikey.”

“I’m not going to say the first sentence lightly, Alex. When I say it that means I’ve surrendered to loving you for the rest of my life. It means I want to have sex with you in the evening and hold you through the night and then see you smiling at me at breakfast. If you say it back, the second sentence is going to follow.”

“I understand.”

“When I say it that means I want you for love and sex and children and marriage, well, maybe marriage before children. If you say it back, you’re saying the same thing. Do you think you could put up with me for the rest of your life?”

“Yes, Mikey. That would be easy. Do you think you could live with me? That will be hard. Being blind isn’t easy.”

“That leads in to something else I want to talk about?”

“What?”

“Some Saturday, I’d like to spend the day with you and I want to be blindfolded all day. I want to get a small sample of what your life is like.”

“We don’t have anything planned for this weekend. Would you like to spend Saturday and Sunday with me?”

“I don’t have anything planned either but I was thinking of spending just one day with you, not all weekend. Mom says it’s not polite to invite yourself into somebody else’s home but I want to experience your environment. Can you clear it with Margaret?”

“Yes. We do have something planned for Friday night, family stuff. Could you come over early Saturday morning? We can have breakfast together.”

“Yeah. There’s one more thing I want to talk with you about, Alex.”

“OK.”

“You and Gianna showed me a little love one night. I want to show you a little love, sometime soon. I’ve already showed Gianna.”

“You’ve done something with Gianna?”

“Yeah, just a little love, not a lot of love.”

“A lot of love with me wouldn’t be safe yet, Mikey. I’ve just started taking the pill and I’m supposed to wait a couple of months to be safe.”

“That’s OK. I’m not talking about that. Before we do that, I’m going to say those three little words to you and you’ve got to say them back.”

“OK. You’ve already done something with Gianna?”

“Yeah, but let’s not talk about it tonight. I’d rather show you than tell you. You can call Gianna and talk to her about what I did with her. Tell her I said it’s OK. I’m not ashamed of it. She and I love each other but we’ll never do what I want to do with you.”

“If you spend Saturday and Sunday with me, would you like to sleep with me Saturday night? I’d like that.”

“Yeah, but what will your parents say?”

“They like you, Mikey. We’ll just tell them what we’re going to do. They want me to be with my boyfriend in our home, not off somewhere in the woods. I’m not ashamed of it either.”

“Am I your boyfriend now?”

“Yes.”

“Good. And you’re my girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“There’s something else I’ve been thinking about. It involves our families.”

“I like your family, Mikey.”

“I like yours too, Alex. I’d like us all to get together one day soon. Maybe we could spend a Saturday together and play in your pool. We could have sandwiches for lunch and then you and I and Gianna and Azee can cook dinner. I’ll plan on something real nice. Then I want to talk to both families about us and how we feel about each other. I’m not sure how we can have what we want but I know we’ve got to have the love and support of both our families. What do you think of that idea?”

“I think it’s wise, Mikey. I want us both to graduate from college and I know we’re not ready to assume full responsibility for our lives yet. We’re going to need their love and support.”

“Well, sleep on what we’ve talked about. Talk to your mom and dad. Let me know if you can have company this weekend.”

“OK.”

“Alex, I wish you could know how it makes me feel to walk somewhere with you holding onto my arm. I felt the same way when we went to the concert and I held your hand. Then when we kissed after the concert, I wanted so much to stay with you all night. I just wanted to hold you until I was filled up with your love and maybe I wanted to have sex with you too and...”

She interrupted me. “I felt the same way, Mikey. It’s not just about drinking from each other. I feel a hunger to have your body against me and in me. I want to be a woman to your man.”

“All in good time, Alex. Anyway, I keep thinking about what it would be like to surrender to loving you for the rest of my life. Maybe it’s too early to say three little words but I can’t help thinking stuff like that.”

“I think about the same things, Mikey, but I’m a little scared. Life with me won’t be easy. If you’re going to back out, do it now. Don’t hurt me, Mikey. The more I love you ... oops, I didn’t mean to say that, the more painful it will be if we...”

I interrupted her. “I’m not going to back out, Alex. I’m going to go forward. It’s what I want. I want you.”

“If I let you sleep with me Saturday night, maybe you’d better bring some protection.”