Chapter 14

Judgment Plain ... Judgment Day

I had to remind myself not to look at my watch, but it helped to know that I was naked in front of the whole damn world, with Aunt Tessa sitting on my lap. I didn’t have a watch on me at all. It also helped to remind myself that I set the schedule now and I had all of the time in the world. If not quite Almighty God per se, I was pretty damned close!

I performed a number of hurried weddings for the benefit of the whole world, of course. By the time that I was done, every man in House Durant was married to every woman in it. In fact, quite a few of the women were married to each other and several of the men to each other as well. I was now married to Laura, Rosemary, Violet, Damjana, Apolline, Candace, Gail, Annette, Tasneem, Kendra, and Kylie, as well as Ned, Jack, Spiro, Henry, Warren, Erik, Argos, and Lloyd right off the top of my head.

Those people were all members of House Durant now in some capacity and thus most of them had Durant in their name and were wed to each other as well as the other Durants. Teddy was wed to several of them, too. And I was married to Mitchell, Roy, and Eddie as well. I ended up only marrying guys that I wanted to Top, because that was just easier for me. If I had the urge to bend a guy over and sodomize him, I would marry him. Otherwise, not so much.

The downside to this was that pretty soon, envious guys in House Durant began urging me to reshape them into twinks ... yes, even Uncle Jethro ... yikes. I didn’t mind in principle, but that put extra work on me, you know. Thankfully, I was very high in stamina, sexual and otherwise. Even Teddy asked to be turned into a catamite in effect. I wasn’t sure what caused THAT situation, but it happened. At least Dad never did, thankfully. That would have been a bit too much for me.

But I’m getting ahead of myself, of course. I still had a lot more judging to do, naturally. I decided to deal with the easier cases first, the ones that were simple slips on the wrist or just animal metamorphosis or something like that. I even had fun with it, turning some folks into satyrs, centaurs, mermaids, mermen, werewolves, vampires, dwarves, elves, unicorns, etc. The way I saw it, these magical creatures were good for population control, not to mention novelty, and I was a true-blue Tolkien as well as Martin fan.

“How many people left now?” I asked Dad, who ran some quick calculations.

“Down to the last billion or less. We’re really shrunk the numbers, son. Decreeing that large sections of the Russian steppe were centaur and unicorn ‘parks’ was a stroke of genius. What next, hobbits?” Dad grinned at the prospect of hobbits.

“Sure, why not?” I then snapped my fingers and one hundred million of the remaining humans turned instantly into hobbits.

“Okay, my math now knocks the unjudged human population down to eight hundred sixty-five millions now. Those hobbits will consume less food, so that’s a real plus. Not to mention that they’re cute as fuck,” Aunt Tessa laughed now.