Chapter 7: Speaking the Truth to Power

July 10, 1992, Chicago and Glencoe, Illinois

“Be very careful, Tiger,” Jessica said on Friday afternoon.

“I will,” I said. “I just want answers to my questions.”

“Will you be able to trust those answers?”

“That’s a good question,” I said. “All I can do is see what she has to say, if anything.”

“You said that her dad thought she’d talk to you.”

“But he wasn’t completely sure. She didn’t tell him ‘no’ outright. It’s as we discussed - she’s an emotionally immature seventeen-year-old. Jesse is more mature than she is in some ways.”

“True. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

“Jess, this is the ‘new’ me. Not the old one. I told you about my calls with Jeri and Lisa.”

“What are you going to do about Jeri?” Kara asked.

“Just what I said to you two earlier. I have to wait to see what Samantha says.”

We kissed and hugged, and I got into my brand new BMW, which the leasing company had exchanged for my old one earlier in the morning. I very much enjoyed having the two-year lease, as it meant a new car on a regular basis. We’d decided to keep Jessica’s BMW and Kara’s minivan, so I’d simply exchanged keys, signed some paperwork, and I had a new car. I started the engine, took a deep breath of ‘new car smell’, then put the car in gear and pulled away.

As I drove, I thought about what I was doing. Elyse had stopped me before I left to make sure I kept my head on straight. I’d promised her I wouldn’t take any action with regard to Jeri without talking to her first. She’d reminded me to keep my wits about me and not act rashly. I’d reminded her, as I had just done with Jessica, that this was the ‘new’ me.

That said, I had, as it turned out, acted rashly in getting into the relationship with Samantha. I’d seen the clues, and I’d even tried to put the brakes on, but as I’d recently learned, once you passed certain inflection points, some of them were points of no return. Putting the djinni back in the bottle was impossible. If only I’d waited to have sex with Samantha until I got to know her better, things might have been different.

I’d acted rashly, and that was my contribution to the mess that I was trying to unravel. I knew the relevant details of Lisa’s part. I also knew some of Jeri’s and, probably, a bit of Samantha’s. The more Samantha was willing to talk to me, the more I’d know about her, and the more I’d know about Jeri’s part. And of all of the people involved, Jeri seemed to be the one that might have the biggest negative impact on me.

There was a fairly big chance that there would be holes in the story and places where they didn’t line up. In that case, I’d have to make a judgment call as to who or what was truthful. And that created its own set of problems. From a purely pragmatic perspective, it made the most sense to give Jeri every benefit of the doubt and retain her as a NIKA employee, no matter what her part in the fiasco was. It would all depend on just how much she had betrayed me, if she had done so.

“Steve Adams to see Noel Spurgeon,” I said at the gate.

Abbie had taken care of returning the deactivated transmitter for the gate, so I had to wait until I was acknowledged and the gate was opened remotely. When it swung open, I drove up the driveway to the same parking spot I’d used the previous times I’d been to visit. As usual, Les greeted me at the front door.

“Mr. Spurgeon will see you in his study,” Les said.

He walked me to the study, announced me, then left, closing the door behind him. Noel Spurgeon shook my hand and offered me a drink. I accepted a bourbon and he poured himself one as well.

“I’m sorry you were caught up in the girls’ schemes,” he said.

“You say that like it’s a normal thing,” I replied.

“Let’s just say it’s not uncommon.”

“May I be blunt?” I asked.

“That usually works best.”

“Why would you possibly accept the idea of your daughter carrying on with a married man?”

“Because my daughter makes her own decisions. She has since she was little. I don’t have to approve of her choices. This was what she wanted, so she did it.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit too cavalier an attitude?” I asked.

“As we’re speaking plainly, you were pretty cavalier about bedding my daughter. It does take two to tango.”

I nodded, “Very true. And I agree with you, but likely for different reasons.”

“Go on.”

“My mistake was not realizing how immature your daughter is, and what a cynical view she had of business and relationships. The immaturity is the bigger problem, but both are significant. I’m probably going to regret saying this, but your daughter needed your love, not your money. That’s the source of this problem.”

“I love my daughter,” he said.

“I have no doubt in my mind that you believe that. But I don’t see any signs of it. I see a spoiled brat who thinks she can buy anything and bully anyone to achieve what she wants, and who was never denied a thing growing up. I believe love shows in the denial. I believe love means saying ‘no’. When you love your child enough NOT to give into their every whim.”

“Money is power. It always has been. It always will be.”

“I’m sure that’s true. I’ve studied enough history to know it. And I’m a capitalist at heart. But, to me, capitalism without some kind of empathy for your fellow man is evil. If it becomes merely a zero-sum-game, then eventually the masses will rise up and take everything from you. A ‘beggar-thy-neighbor’ approach will destroy everyone.

“You know I made a deal with Alec Glass. You also know, I’m sure, that his REIT was teetering on the brink of being in violation of the regulations regarding REITs. I could have held him up for a better deal. I didn’t. And I didn’t because it’s not a zero sum game about me winning and him losing. We both won. I got what I needed and wanted. He got what he needed and wanted. And we both walked away happy.

“Enter Lisa. She felt I’d showed weakness and decided she could use that against me. She was wrong, because my approach to capitalism doesn’t require a winner and a loser. Mine requires two winners. As I told her, that’s not weakness, but strength. The personal strength and integrity to resist hurting someone for my own gain, when the gain was simple and easy to grasp. She found out just how strong I am in reality. She was using the wrong measure and her mistake cost her, dearly.”

“An interesting perspective. I don’t agree with you, though. You will be taken advantage of because people will see you as an easy mark. And in the long run, you’ll be left with nothing.”

I smiled, “That’s what Lisa thought. She failed to realize that I am also the most ruthless, cold-hearted bastard on the planet when it’s called for. I don’t fight fire with fire. If you bring a knife, I’ll bring a gun. If you put me in the hospital, I’ll put you in the morgue. The way to resolve a problem such as you described is the immediate application of overwhelming, disproportional force an immediate favorable end to the conflict. And that is what I did with Lisa.”

“You quoted The Untouchables. I’ll remind you that the gun versus knife was resolved by a bigger gun.”

“Because Connery’s character should have just shot the guy with the knife right then and there. Immediate application of overwhelming force. His hesitation to shoot cost him his life.”

“Interesting. Samantha said you opposed the Gulf War. Isn’t that what we did there?”

I nodded, “And you felt we didn’t go far enough. I don’t even want to contemplate your daughter’s solution.”

Noel Spurgeon laughed hard, “But that fits your doctrine.”

“My doctrine said not to get involved in the first place. Or even better, not have complete morons like April Glaspie make idiotic statements of weakness. That was the problem with Carter. Everyone saw him as weak, so they messed with him. Nobody thought of Reagan as weak. Lisa miscalculated based on not having enough information. Getting back to the matter at hand, I made a grave error in judgment because your daughter wasn’t mature enough to handle an actual adult relationship.”

“Relationship? How much do you talk to your mistress? I don’t!”

I shook my head, “And that’s another area where we differ. I assume you’ve heard about my situation? The complex family arrangement I have?”

“Yes. Which is why you didn’t have to hide what you were doing with Samantha.”

“Very true. But it’s also the case that I can get laid as often as I want. I have a fairly liberal ‘hall pass’ and my wives not only know about it, but accept it. I don’t HAVE to hide it. Ever. So if I have, in effect, the entire playing field at my disposal, why would I want to make the arrangement with Samantha I did?”

“You’ve lost me. What was your arrangement with my daughter?”

“That other than the women I live with, I’d be exclusive with your daughter. But that was contingent on developing an actual relationship. One that involved really getting to know each other, spending time together, and insofar as she was willing, bringing her into my family.”

Noel just stared at me. I’d left him speechless. He clearly had a VERY different picture of what was going on. That meant Samantha hadn’t explained to him what I’d wanted, OR, she’d never intended to develop things along the lines I’d proposed. I didn’t think that was true because I’d seen signs of her responding to being loved.

He was still silent, so I continued, “I showed her I loved her by saying ‘no’ to her on several occasions. She was just learning what that meant when Lisa interfered. In my opinion, Lisa saw that Samantha had actually found love and that made Lisa green with envy and she decided to wreck it in whatever way she could.”

“Love? We’re talking about an affair here, Steve! Samantha was your mistress, for God’s sake!”

“It’s way more complicated than you realize. I’m not IN LOVE with your daughter, but I do love her. There’s a world of difference. It’s complicated and if you have a few hours, I can try to explain, but the bottom line is that true love is way deeper than being ‘in love’. I love my wife deeply, but I’ve never for one second since I’ve known her been ‘in love’ with her. I know that sounds strange, but it’s true.

“I come from a completely different world than you do, where money doesn’t define relationships and doesn’t mean power. For me, it means a way to care for my family and ensure their lives are comfortable. Beyond that? I don’t put any value on it. Yes, I invest. Yes, I save. But I do that to ensure future comfort, not because I have some need to be fabulously wealthy or gain power or whatever. Just don’t mistake THAT for weakness.”

“You’re pretty ballsy coming into my house, drinking my bourbon, and lecturing me on how to live my life.”

I smiled, “I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

“You’re going about it in an odd way. Coming in here and telling me I failed as a father isn’t exactly a good way to endear yourself.”

“You’re right. It’s not. But it’s my way. And if I’m going to have any kind of relationship with Samantha, as a friend, then she’s going to have to change from the ‘pretentious bitch’ who’s a spoiled brat. If not, then I won’t want anything to do with her, even as a casual acquaintance. I already told Lisa I won’t have anything to do with her except for the absolute minimum necessary to complete the REIT deal. I simply don’t have time in my life for people with her attitude.”

“Didn’t you agree with me that everything has a price?”

“No, I agreed everything has value. There’s always a value proposition, but that doesn’t have to be money, which is what you mean by ‘price’. There are things in this world that can’t be had for all of the proverbial tea in China.”

“I suspect I could offer you enough money to get you to do anything I asked.”

“And you would suspect wrong. I won’t kill for money. On the other hand, seriously threaten someone I love or have promised to protect, and I’ll put you in the ground before you can blink. Money has no value in that circumstance. And that’s just an easy thing that comes to mind. There are indeed things you simply can’t buy. That’s what Samantha needs to learn. I guess you do as well.”

“Who the fuck are you to talk to me this way?”

“Nobody special, really. You gave me permission to speak bluntly, so I did. If you’d like for me to leave, I will. And if you want me to go back to using Charles Schwab, I will. Some prices are just too high to pay.”

He regarded me for a moment and I just kept quiet. Ultimately, I had nothing to lose, and I wanted to define this relationship on MY terms, not his. I suspected very few people ever spoke to him this way, and perhaps nobody had in years. And in that moment I discovered something else.

I needed someone like me to talk to ME this way. But obviously, it had to be someone who didn’t agree with me and who was willing to speak plainly to me even when I didn’t want them to. It was true that I’d had Elyse, Jennifer, Bethany, and others close to me who would do it, but it wasn’t the same. I needed someone outside the ‘inner circle’ to, as it were, speak the truth to power. That had to be my next goal.

“If you ever want to change jobs, you can come work for me. You’d be a real hard-nosed bastard when it came to evaluating deals and negotiating terms.”

“But I don’t seek enough advantage!” I said.

“No, but you sure as hell wouldn’t let the other guy get an advantage!”

He did have a point. I’d done that with Dante on several occasions. And that had been where I’d discovered that I did have some skills in the area, and that I liked the negotiation, so long as it was amicable. Dante was just on the edge of amicability, but he had been good practice for the confrontations I’d faced in the last month.

“True. But I’m happy where I am right now. Hell, I’d be happier if I could just be a programmer again and leave all this crap to someone else.”

“But you’re damned good at it. Nobody has talked to me the way you just did since, well, I can’t remember.”

“Because I have nothing to lose. I could just let it all hang out and not worry about it. I would likely have needed to be more circumspect in other circumstances.”

“I guess there’s only one question left on the table.”

“Which is?”

“What are your intentions towards my daughter?” he asked with a wry smile.