Chapter 56: Strange Advice

April 23, 1993, Chicago, Illinois

“I’ll do it,” I said to Samantha on Friday morning before I left to run with Gina.

“Thank you!” she said excitedly. “And the special request?”

“Yes,” I said with a smile.

“Cool!”

She gave me a soft kiss and a tight hug.

“But no promises other than the special request in the invitation.”

“I know. Totally clear! I talked with Kara to make sure I wasn’t crossing any lines. I’m surprised to see you up at your regular time this morning!”

I laughed, “Kara told you her plan?”

“In detail! I think I’ll have to try that sometime!”

I laughed, gave her another hug and kiss, and then headed to the park to run with Gina. The temperatures were in the forties and that was sufficient to be outside instead of inside at the Y. I had to push myself harder than usual because I hadn’t had much sleep and had expended a lot of energy with Kara. When Gina and I finished our run, I headed home for a shower and breakfast.

“Good morning,” I said to Jessica when I came in.

“How long may I stay today?”

“With your kids? As long as you like, though Abbie will decide when they eat or need naps, please.”

“OK. Are you still going to the Gala tonight?”

“No. And neither is Samantha, for obvious reasons. I talked to Jeri and she’ll cover with her mom.”

“I don’t think I’ll come to the party tomorrow night. It would be uncomfortable.”

“It’s up to you,” I said. “I promised you that you would always be welcome here.”

“Is there anything I shouldn’t say to the kids?”

“Say what you want. I trust you won’t try to make me or Kara out to be evil.”

“No, I won’t,” Jessica said. “Thank you for treating me so well.”

“I still love you, Jess. I always will.”

“I know,” she said.

I headed upstairs to shower. Kara was still in bed.

“Shower with me?” I asked.

“Yes!” she exclaimed and quickly got out of bed.

After our shower, we dried, dressed, and went downstairs for breakfast. When we finished, Elyse and I headed to the office.

“Did you hear about the plot to assassinate President Bush when he visited the Middle East?” Elyse asked.

“Big deal!” I chuckled. “Noel Spurgeon apparently threatened to do the same thing when Bush broke his ‘Read my lips! No new taxes!’ pledge! I suspect there’s a long line!”

Elyse laughed, “What is it with you and that guy?”

“Don’t forget, it applies to the entire Bush family!” I said firmly.

“On a more serious note, why is Jessica at the house today?”

“Because no matter what else happens, Albert and Ashley are her kids, and I’m not going to keep her from her kids. I mean that - no matter what.”

“Which seems counter to your plan to force her to be alone. You’re not being consistent, and that’s rare for you.”

“Whose priorities come first in my book?” I asked.

“Your kids.”

“So even if it interferes with what I want, I have to take care of them. And besides, that also works to my advantage. She loves her kids. And maybe, just maybe, that will be enough to convince her to make some adjustments.”

“How long will she be using the apartment?”

“Until either she decides to move somewhere else, or until I decide there’s no hope of getting her back.”

Elyse shook her head, “I do NOT get it. You have better options. Far better options.”

“And THAT thinking is just like Jessica’s. This isn’t a utilitarian argument! And I’m not replacing her. If she doesn’t come back, then it’s Kara and me. Period.”

“What about me?” Elyse asked.

“You mean our sex life? I didn’t mean that was going to change. Just that I wasn’t going to have a new trio form.”

“And you’ll be OK with that?”

“With losing Jessica? No. With being with Kara? Yes. She’ll let me have you and Samantha, and probably occasional dalliances. But honestly, I just don’t have the desire at this point. I told you what happened with Tara.”

“And you said you would see her if the Penguins made the next round of the playoffs. And they won last night, didn’t they?”

“Yes, 4-3 in New Jersey. I’ll probably spend one night in Pittsburgh as I did this week. Tara knows the same result is very likely. And she’s OK with that.”

The Blackhawks were in the playoffs as well, but they were down two games to none against St. Louis, and hadn’t looked good at all in their first two games.

“The changes are coming pretty fast and furious,” Elyse said. “I guess I’m having trouble adapting. You seem to be handling things better than I would have expected.”

“Fifteen years of turmoil prepared me for this, I guess. Maybe I’ve just been beat up one too many times. I’m not upset. I’m numb.”

“And no fainting issues?”

“No. I did feel weak in the knees when Jason called about Alan Kulwicki, but nothing more than that.”

“Just don’t let that numbness overtake you,” Elyse said.

“I won’t. I promise I’ll enjoy the party tomorrow!”

“Is she coming?”

“No. She said it would be awkward. I suppose for her, it would be. And that’s OK. Let her sit in the apartment and brood.”

“I’m going to ask this question, but I have NO evidence. Do you think she and Jorge... ?”

“No, I don’t. I know him well enough he’d come talk to me before something like that happened. Even with Jessica and me being separated.”

“And if she’s with some other guy?”

“Then she’s with some other guy! Do I LOOK like a hypocrite? How long have you known me?”

“Fourteen years. But if she did it without permission?”

“Yeah, because I’ve never done THAT before,” I sighed. “If she does that, AND she decides to come back, then we’ll deal with it like we have every other issue in the past. You KNOW my opinion on sex.”

“I do, but she’s your wife.”

“Do you think THAT little of me? That I’m that small of a man? That I think my wives are my possessions? I never treated YOU that way. I don’t treat my kids that way. I certainly don’t treat my wives that way.”

“Sorry. I’m foolishly thinking of you as if you were a normal guy, and you are anything other than a normal guy.”

“It’s OK. I have a question for you. What do you think about me postponing my trip to Japan for a year?”

“Because of Jessica?”

“Because of everything. Jessica, the kids, work, Samantha, her dad, the FBI. Everything SHOULD have been settled and running smoothly at this point. It’s not, and that concerns me.”

“Wasn’t your instructor worried about the health of the guy in Japan?”

“Yes. But if something happens, there will be another master to go to. Or another way. And, frankly, if I stay 3rd Dan for the rest of my life, it won’t upset me. I never much cared for anything beyond the black belt itself, and even that was a challenge to myself, not something I wanted as some sort of symbol of superiority.”

“I suppose that’s true. Your ego is pretty much under control. The only time I saw it really flare up recently was that incident with Sheila!”

“Oh stop!” I laughed. “A girl with standards is NOT a problem for me! Aimee stopped having sex with me when I got married! Heck, Elizabeth has a rule against married men! The only thing that happened at that dance was you and the other girls had a good laugh.”

“True,” Elyse laughed. “You have had quite a few new girls since then.”

“Including Samantha. So I’d say a one-off with Shelia was NOTHING compared to what I actually ended up with!”

“She’s that good?” Elyse smirked.

“Absolutely!” I grinned. “But the point is, having a girl tell me ‘no’ is not a big deal.”

“Back to your question, I think you’re probably right to postpone your trip. Kara and your kids are going to need you.”

“Then that’s what I’ll do,” I confirmed.

“Will you come to Iron Mountain with us?”

“Sure. I can take that week off without any trouble now.”

“Good!” Elyse declared happily.

April 24, 1993, Chicago, Illinois

“Sensei, I need a few moments of your time,” I said when I arrived at the dojo Saturday morning.

We went into his office.

“First, I don’t think you’ll see Jessica here for some time. She and I separated on Monday.”

“Separated? What?!”

“It’s been brewing for some time.”

“Is there any chance you can reconcile?”

“I think so, but it’s up to her. I’m ready, and willing, if she is.”

“Does she know that?”

“Yes. Quite clearly.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. How is Kara?”

“She took it fairly hard, but she’s doing OK. The kids are confused, but that’s to be expected.”

“It’ll be hard on them. Are they still living with you?”

“Yes. And probably will. It’s a long story, but Jess isn’t going to try to take them away.”

“If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.”

“Thank you. I hope you’ll also understand that I need to put off my trip to Japan until next year. I can’t leave Kara and the kids for five weeks at this point.”

“No, I suppose you can’t. I’ll get in touch with Sensei Robert and Sensei Hiro and let them know.”

“Thanks.”

I bowed, and we went out to begin class. Jolene noticed that Jessica was missing and asked me about her. I quickly explained what had happened, and she expressed her sympathy and asked if there was anything she could do. I told her, as I’d told everyone else, that there probably wasn’t anything to do but allow time to pass and see if anything changed.

After karate class Kara and I walked home, showered, and ate lunch with Samantha, Abbie, and the kids. Elyse had gone out for the afternoon with Eduardo, but would be back for the party, and Eduardo would join us at the house for the first time. I made sure to spend extra time with Albert and Ashley. They were very confused that Mommy wasn’t at the house, but because of the way we’d handled the kids, they also saw Kara as their mommy, and that helped, as did Jessica’s daily visits.

Just before our guests were supposed to arrive, Jennifer asked if she could talk to me. I agreed and we went to my study.

“Do you remember, back in High School, right after Melanie tried to kill herself? When we walked home from her house?”

I nodded, “We had a rip-roaring argument which I called ‘foreplay’ before I ripped your clothes off and fucked you harder than I’d ever done before.”

Jennifer smiled, “I had a difficult time explaining to my mom why my blouse was ripped, my bra was cut up the middle, and my panties were cut across the crotch!”

“She knew?”

“She found them in the trash the next day. I wasn’t as careful as I should have been!”

“Your mom was always very tolerant of our antics,” I said, then smirked, “Why bring that up now? Did Josie change her mind?”

“If you think that’s the way I would want it, you’ve completely misread me!”

“No, I don’t. You would want slow, passionate lovemaking, where we spent an hour making love, our souls merging to one, ending in crushing mutual orgasms. And then repeating that until I couldn’t get it up any more.”

Jennifer smiled, “If you can go an hour, you’ve seriously improved!”

“For you? Easily!”

“Sadly, Josie hasn’t changed her mind. I brought that up because of the conversation we had afterwards. Do you remember?”

“Sorry, you’ll have to refresh my memory. I was a bit addled after our lovemaking that day!”

Jennifer laughed, “Only you could call that ‘lovemaking’. We talked about how I couldn’t handle the freedom and how when you took charge, I felt safe. Up until that point, I’d been in charge.”

“OK. Now I remember. That’s when you were first letting the lesbian feelings out of the box you had put them in after seventh grade, though I didn’t know about seventh grade at that point. Again, why bring that up now?”

“The more I think about it, the more I think it applies to your situation with Jessica.”

“But I did take control,” I said. “The whole «pater familias» bit. And it didn’t work. Well, not for Jessica. It worked for everyone else.”

“Because you didn’t DO it for Jessica. All you did was take control of your sex life. You still let her define everything about the relationship and about her career. And then, when things started falling apart, you ceded complete control to her. I think you might have done exactly the wrong thing.”

“Say what?” I asked incredulously.

“Instead of loosening the reins, you should have tightened them. You should have TOLD Jessica what to do. And not brooked any debate.”

“Which would have driven her away,” I said.

“Yeah? And how did doing what you did work out for you?”

“I hate you, Jennifer,” I sighed.

Jennifer laughed, “Do you remember the very first time you said that to me?”

I chuckled, “I’ve said it so many times now, no, I don’t remember!”

“It was when I told you that I had blocked Kathy from asking you to the turnabout dance.”

“I STILL hate you for that!” I laughed. “Though it eventually turned out OK.”

“After she screamed ‘Fuck you, Steve Adams!’ in the Milford High lunchroom!”

“You were the one who told me I could only be with her once!” I grinned.

“True. We were all so clueless back then. But back to the present - I want to ask you another question. Are you just going to let her walk away? The way you did with Kathy? The way you did with Stephie? The way you did with Abbie when she moved out?”

“Fuck you, Jennifer!” I spat.

“You don’t have to ask twice!” she smirked. “But it’s against your rules. I’m serious. You simply let her walk away. You ceded too much control.”

“I don’t see it that way,” I said.

“And you didn’t see it back when we were fifteen. Tomorrow morning, go to the apartment, demand that she come home, demand that she be your wife, and tell her that you want her on YOUR terms. And that you won’t brook an argument.”

“I don’t think it will do any good,” I said.

“What can it hurt at this point? What she needs is a firm hand. I totally missed that before. Kara can handle all the freedom you can give her, and then some. Jessica simply can’t.”

“I don’t know,” I said.

“Will you quit being wishy-washy about this? You’ve become decisive in every other area of your life. Do it here, too! Make it happen.”

I smirked, “I have half a mind to throw you on this desk and fuck you senseless!”

“‘Half a mind’ is about right, ‘dumb boy’!” Jennifer teased.

“I haven’t been called THAT in a long time.”