Chapter 30: Self Control

November 1, 1992, Chicago, Illinois

“What did you two decide about Jesse?” I asked Jennifer on Sunday, just before the Rap Session started.

We’d just come back from helping Bethany and Nicholas move into their new place. Jesse wasn’t happy, but he’d known this was coming from the time that Bethany and Nicholas had first moved back to Chicago. He’d helped Nicholas set up his new room while the rest of us had brought in furniture and other things that Bethany had stored after Nick’s death. Bethany had come back with us to spend the afternoon. And that evening, after we cleaned a bit, Samantha would move upstairs.

“Neither of us is really happy about it,” Jennifer replied, “but it is what Jesse wants to do. He’s adamant, and on the principle of not standing in his way when he makes a reasonable decision, he can be baptized.”

“Are you going to go to church to see it? Or not?”

“I’d find it hard to stay away. Father Basil said the traditional time is the morning of Orthodox Easter. So that would be April 17th, I guess.”

“Thank you,” I said. “I think you made the right decision. Did you tell him?”

“We’ll talk to him tonight.”

Twenty minutes later, everyone had gathered in the great room for the Rap Session.

“What’s today’s topic?” Paula asked.

“ANYTHING but the election,” Elizabeth said. “I am SO glad it’s going to be over on Tuesday! It’s just become a farce!”

She was right, in that Ross Perot had dropped out of the race, then returned to it. He’d even claimed at one point that he had dropped out because the Republicans were going to try to disrupt his daughter’s wedding. That made no sense at all. What made even less sense was the response to the debate performance of Admiral James Stockdale, Perot’s running mate. It looked to me as if Clinton was going to win, with Perot siphoning off significant Republican votes.

“I agree,” I said. “I’m probably as tired of it as you are!”

“Have you heard from Michelle?” she asked.

“Just three postcards, each one saying the same thing - she’s doing well, she’s praying for me, and reminding me to pray for her.”

“I still don’t believe she’s going to be a nun! Who would sign up never to have sex for their entire life?”

“Catholic priests!” Trish said. “All of them!”

“One important reason I decided against the priesthood!” Ben laughed. “No freakin’ way!”

“Did every single Catholic boy get asked about seminary?” Elizabeth asked.

“Yes,” Jorge, Ben, Henry, I, and two other guys said, laughing.

“No politics, no religion, I guess that just leaves sex!” Kara giggled.

“There ARE other things to talk about!” Bethany laughed.

“Speak for yourself!” Kara retorted, still laughing.

“I am sure some people here know, but would you tell us how you all met and managed to have a three-way marriage?” Paula asked.

“Sure,” Kara said.

Kara described how she and I had met, the travails we’d had, and how Jessica came into our lives. Bethany added her views as the girl who had, as she put it, ‘bowed out’. That led to a nearly two-hour discussion of relationships with Kara, Bethany, and I playing the roles of the ‘adults’ in the room, answering questions for the college ‘kids’. Jorge, Trish, and Abbie had good things to add, as did Jennifer and Josie.

“Kara,” Lena, a new Freshman said. “I’m sorry, but I have to ask how you could ever accept being ‘second’ wife?! It makes no sense!”

Kara smiled, “I’m not the ‘second wife’! We’re all equal in the relationship. Besides, if there’s a ‘first wife’, it’s not Jessica, it’s Elyse!”

“What?” Joan asked, clearly confused.

“It’s a very complex set of relationships,” Bethany replied. “But if there’s a senior wife in this polygamous setup, it’s Elyse. She’s the one who manages the household finances, does more to advise Steve, and is more involved in his day-to-day life than anyone. She’s the CFO of his company in addition to being mother to two of his boys.”

“Elyse, why?” Lena asked.

“Good timing and bad timing,” she said. “I met him, and knew he was my soulmate when he was dating Jennifer over there, and when I finally had the opportunity to be with him the way I wanted, he was in love with Kara. In the end, it worked out that I could have pretty much everything I wanted from him by giving up the idea of marrying him. And marriage didn’t matter that much to me, in the end. It’s just a piece of paper. What matters is the commitment. And he and I are committed to each other just as much as he’s committed to Jessica and Kara.

“But it’s not even that simple! He’s committed to Jennifer, too. She’s Jesse’s mom, and despite Jennifer being married to Josie, she and Steve have a lifetime commitment. We’ve all found something that works for us, makes us happy, and gives us what we want. Only society tells us we’re wrong. Why should we listen to them?”

“But why share?” Lena asked.

“You mean sexually?” Kara asked. “If you found a man who could please you beyond your wildest dreams, would you care if he had other girls?”

“Yes! He should be mine and mine alone!” Lena said vehemently.

“And then you wouldn’t be able to have the man you wanted. I want Steve. Period. So does Jessica. If we both insisted on having him to ourselves, at least one of us would have to lose. Why not share? Nobody gets hurt, and everyone is happy. I think Elyse agrees.”

“I do,” Elyse said. “Would I like to have him more? Of course! But the alternatives are what I have or zero. Personally, I choose what I have. Living with him, having his boys, being part of his life. I don’t like the alternative.”

“And you don’t care who he’s with?” Lena continued.

“Me?” Elyse laughed. “No. He could fuck anyone on the planet so long as they were disease free. I don’t care. I’m free to do the same thing if I want. I was in Miami a few weeks ago visiting with an old boyfriend. We fucked. Steve knows. Big deal.”

“Kara? Do you agree?” Lena asked.

“I’m not quite so cavalier about it, but assuming he was interested in you, and you had an STD test, ask him. He’ll fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before and possibly never will be again!”

“Gross!” Lena said, making a face. “Why would I want to be with someone who was with so many other girls?”

“So don’t,” Kara said primly. “Just please don’t condemn us.”

“He’s that good, huh?” Elizabeth smirked. “Maybe I’ll have to relax my standards and check it out!”

There was quite a bit of laughter at that comment.

“Is there a sign-up list?” Abbie teased.

“Not for YOU,” I said. “Jason would never forgive either of us!”

“Spoilsport!” she laughed.

“I don’t get it,” Lena said. “You’re married and you cheat, but you won’t let her? And she’s not even married!”

“WHOA!” Jennifer exclaimed sharply. “He does NOT cheat! Cheating means doing something outside the agreement you have. What Steve does is absolutely NOT cheating. YOU might consider it wrong, but that’s YOUR problem, not his. Got it?!”

Lena wilted and looked like she wanted to hide under the couch she was sitting on.

“Jesus, Jenny,” Josie laughed.

“Hey, if the little b ... uh, girl, is going to accuse the father of my son, and one of my oldest friends, and first lover, of cheating, she’s going to hear it from me!”

“Jennifer, do you mind if I ask about that?” Elizabeth asked.

“No,” Jennifer said, calming down a bit. “What do you want to know?”

“When did you discover you were a lesbian?”

“I knew I was different when I was twelve, but I didn’t understand what the problem was. Steve was my first male lover, though I was raped before I was with him. I knew I was attracted to girls, and had even had a same-sex relationship for a time before Steve, but I fought it for years. Finally, when I was at Stanford, I figured it out. I started dating a real hard-core feminist lesbian, but in the end, I couldn’t agree with her politics or philosophy and we broke up. Then I met Josie, who’s bisexual. She gave up guys for me!”

There was laughter, some nervous, some normal.

“You had your son with Steve after you met Josie?” Elizabeth asked.

“Yes. Josie and I married right after Jesse was conceived.”

“Married?” Lena said. “Like with a marriage license and stuff? I didn’t think you could! I thought they didn’t allow that!”

“Nobody here gives a single fuck about the piece of paper,” Jennifer said firmly. “Not Josie, not Kara, not Elyse, not Jessica, and not Steve. Who the FUCK are the governor and legislature to say who can marry and who can’t? Or YOU for that matter.”

“Uh, sorry,” Lena apologized, cringing at Jennifer’s blast.

“I think you might want to be quiet and listen,” Wanda said quietly to Lena, though most of us could hear her.

“I have to say it’s an interesting outlook,” Marco said. “To just not care what the rest of the world thinks and do your own thing.”

“So long as nobody gets hurt,” Mike said. “That’s an important part of how they live their lives.”

That seemed a good point to end the session and I was happy when Lena came over to apologize directly to Jennifer, as well as to Kara. They were both gracious and I expected we’d see Lena again, but that she’d be a bit more careful about saying things that sounded judgmental. I wasn’t surprised when Elizabeth came over to give us a hard time.

“He’s that good, huh?” she grinned.

“What do YOU think?” Elyse laughed. “He keeps Jessica, Kara, me, and others VERY happy!”

“I think I might have liked to have met him before he got married!”

“You’re pretty adamant about that,” Kara said. “Did something bad happen in that regard?”

“In High School, my best friend had an affair with a married man and it turned out UGLY. His wife caught them and you can imagine how that went. I resolved never to do anything like that. I know your husband has freedom, but I have to follow my rules the same as he does.”

“Kara, you really wouldn’t have a problem with me asking your husband?” Wanda asked.

Kara giggled, “Steve, give her a kiss.”

I knew it was OK with Samantha from our earlier conversation so I looked at Wanda and held out my arms. She stepped forward and our lips touched, then her lips parted and our tongues found each other. The kiss grew intense and I pulled her firm body against mine. We kissed for about a minute before I released her.

“Uh, wow!” she said, fanning her face and breathing hard.

Kara, Elyse, Bethany, Jennifer, Josie, and Samantha all laughed.

“I can’t believe you did that!” Lena said.

“Why?” Wanda asked. “It was just a kiss.”

“But ... uh, never mind.”

“YOU try it, Lena,” Wanda teased.

“Me? Why?”

“Live a little! It’s just a kiss!”

I glanced over at Samantha who shrugged.

“It’s up to you, Lena,” I said.

“Go on, do it!” Elizabeth urged. “What could it possibly hurt?”

“You first!” I teased Elizabeth.

Samantha frowned, but I’d deal with that afterwards. It wasn’t going anywhere beyond a kiss.

“If Lena agrees to kiss you, I think I could bend my rule that far!” she laughed. “Well?”

“Uh, sure,” she said quietly.

I was actually surprised that she agreed, given her ‘gross’ comment earlier, but peer pressure was an amazing thing, albeit dangerous if not handled properly. I was a little concerned about that, but a kiss was just a kiss. And perhaps it might open her eyes a bit. I winked at Elizabeth who stepped over. We hugged and exchanged a French kiss, though neither of us really got into it because of the circumstances. She was a good kisser, though, and I thought she probably was as fun as she claimed to be.

“Damn,” Elizabeth laughed when we broke the kiss. “Not bad!”

“Not bad?” I laughed. “Excuse me?”

I put my arms out and this time I kissed her like I wanted to fuck her brains out.

“Ahem,” she coughed. “He’s a good kisser.”

“So are you!” I grinned.

I held my arms out to Lena who looked nervous and blushed slightly. She stepped forward and tentatively put her arms around me. I pulled her close, but not tight and pressed my lips against hers. The kiss started soft and gentle, then Lena’s lips parted and I gently pressed my tongue into her mouth. She moaned softly and melted against me, her body pressing against mine. She squeezed her arms tight and the kiss intensified. Lena didn’t break the kiss so I kept kissing her until she finally broke it, gasping for breath.

“Change your opinion?” Wanda whispered to Lena.

Lena was completely flushed and breathing hard, and had a dazed look in her eyes. When she caught her breath, Wanda grabbed her arm and more or less dragged her from the room to the foyer and out the front door.

“Damn, Steve,” Elizabeth laughed. “She looked like she had an orgasm!”

“I think I might have been trying to make a point,” I chuckled.

Everyone filtered out over the next few minutes and Abbie rewound the tape of the race from Phoenix. While we waited, Samantha confronted me.

“I told you ‘no’ for Elizabeth,” she said fiercely, but not too loudly.

“It was just a kiss,” I said. “I’m sorry if you felt that was out of line, but it was about making a point to Lena.”

“I’ll let it slide,” she said. “This time. But our agreement for a veto was for anything. Even kissing.”

“That wasn’t my understanding,” I said. “Let’s talk about limits later, OK?”

She nodded, “OK.”

We watched the race and I was disgusted when Bill had serious engine trouble. He ended up 31st, and with Davey Allison winning the race, Bill moved from a 70-point lead to a 40-point deficit in the championship standings. Bill was now in third, ten points behind Alan Kulwicki. With only one race to go, things looked good for Davey Allison, and iffy for Bill and Alan.

After dinner and our usual Sunday night family sauna with Gina and Bo, Samantha and I sat in my study to discuss our misunderstanding.

“I took the veto to mean no sex,” I said. “I guess I didn’t see ‘first base’ as a violation. I’m sorry. I hope you’ll accept my apology.”

“I will. Maybe it wouldn’t have been an issue with anyone but Elizabeth. I guess I just don’t like her.”

“Why?”

“Personality; attitude; world view; politics; philosophy. All of those seriously rub me the wrong way ... She’s not someone I would want as a friend.”

I nodded, “OK. I’m curious. Why a veto of Paula but not Wanda?”

“I like Wanda. She seems like she’d be fun to be around. Paula just seems too uptight.”

“And Lena?”

Samantha laughed, “I’d have said the same thing until you kissed her! Wow!”

“I believe you had a similar reaction to our first kiss!”

“I did! I was ready to rip your clothes off at that point! Right there in the hotel lobby!”