Chapter 29: Friend; Dad; Lover

October 25, 1992, Chicago, Illinois

“Oh my God!” Kara gasped. “You can NEVER tell Bethany!”

“Relax, Kara,” I said. “I have no intention of doing so. In fact, I purposefully misled Bethany about what happened between Caroline and me. She has no idea that we were together in the NIKA apartment. And, there’s a VERY important difference between Caroline and Nick, and Stephanie and me. They looked into the abyss and turned back. Stephanie and I didn’t.”

“So they never...” Jessica asked.

“No. But it was a close thing. When he graduated from Arizona State, she was fifteen and he was twenty-two. They were super-close, almost as close as Stephanie and me, though without the whole predator/prey thing going on. Well, at least as far as I can tell from the one-sided story. Without going into too many details, Nick’s last night, before he was to leave Arizona for law school, they went camping out in the desert. They’d done that a lot from the time they were little. Only this time, Caroline was very emotional. The bottom line is, she snuggled with him, kissed him with a sisterly kiss that turned into a real kiss. They had a furious make-out session before Nick came to his senses and put a stop to it.”

“That explains a LOT,” Jessica said. “And she told you this after you made love?”

“Yes. We were lying in bed, cuddling, knowing we had to shower and get dressed. The only thing that really let us have the time was the time difference between here and Ohio. That gave us, effectively, an extra hour. And it wasn’t about playing; it was just plain, simple lovemaking. She cried when we finished, as she’d predicted she would, and that’s when she told me about herself and Nick. She kept talking while we showered, while we dressed, and while we changed the sheets on the bed. She finished talking literally as we walked up the steps to the house.”

“She wasn’t a virgin, was she?” Kara asked.

I shrugged, “I didn’t ask, so I have no idea. I don’t think so, but it’s possible, I suppose. She had a serious boyfriend who lasted from the summer before Senior year in High School right up until Nick’s death. I got the picture that they were intimate, but again, it wasn’t my business to ask, and I didn’t need to know.”

“What are you going to do?” Jessica asked.

“Nothing. She promised to tell her therapist about that incident. I would say, somehow, Caroline knew she could tell me, and once she did, it was like a huge weight was lifted from her shoulders. I believe she came to Chicago to tell me the story. And why me? I have no idea. Maybe it was because I just let her cry on my shoulder back in August and didn’t do anything other than hold her. It’s possible she wanted to tell me then, but I can’t be sure. What I am sure was that the only way she COULD tell me is if we were intimate first.”

“Another seriously damaged girl who came to you for help, and you found a way to help her,” Kara said.

“Yeah, but why does it always have to involve sex?” I sighed. “Seriously, there was no need for her to do that.”

“Who?” Jessica asked. “Caroline or Michelle?”

“This is where I usually say ‘I hate you’,” I sighed. “How did you know I was struggling with that?”

“Because you’re you, and despite the positive results, you’re worried that you did the wrong thing. You’re having the same thoughts about Samantha, too.”

“I am,” I admitted, “though her business-like approach to the whole thing made for much less consternation. I still say she’ll change the character of the relationship when she starts college.”

“Maybe,” Kara said. “I think there’s something else swirling around in her mind.”

“It’s possible. All we can do is wait and see how things turn out. But it’s important that Bethany never know about what I just told you, including that I was with Caroline.”

“I agree,” Jessica said. “How was it? I don’t mean physically, but emotionally?”

“As I said, she cried, and I had a weird feeling, but I think that really was just a matter of me detecting something was wrong. And now I know what it was.”

It had been a very interesting lovemaking session. Slow, deliberate, and purely emotional. The kissing had been soft, not urgent, just as the coupling was. It was as if Caroline needed a complete connection to my soul so that she could unburden hers. She’d had a few small orgasms, but nothing I would call earth-shattering, and mine had been, for lack of a better word, a comforting release. It would have been difficult for me to explain, but it wasn’t our bodies merging; it was our souls, at least for that brief instant. And that merger allowed Caroline to reveal her deepest, innermost secret to me.

“Do you regret being with Michelle?” Jessica asked, drawing me back to her earlier comment.

“No, I don’t,” I replied. “That said, I do wish there had been a better way.”

October 26, 1992, Chicago, Illinois

“So did you and Caroline?” Samantha asked as we cuddled in her bed after making love on Monday evening.

“That’s never an appropriate question to ask,” I said. “Would you want someone talking about being with you?”

“No, I suppose not.”

“The only ones with the ultimate right to know are Jessica and Kara, because they’re my wives.”

“So I’d have to become a wife to get that kind of information?” she giggled.

“The direct answer to THAT question is ‘yes’, but I don’t think that’s what you want, nor do I think it’s a good idea.”

“Wouldn’t that be up to me? Well, and Jessica and Kara, obviously.”

“And me, too. But I don’t think that’s in the cards. And even if it were, do you understand exactly what you would be asking for?”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Well, first of all, I can’t give you any children. Period. I had the ‘make damn sure it could never fail’ operation and it’s not easily reversible, if it is at all. Second, I know we told you that when we’re in bed together, we all make love to each other with all that implies. And you seemed a bit too, well, conventional, for that kind of behavior. You were uncomfortable being so close to Jessica and Kara naked in the sauna!”

“But what about Elyse? I get the idea from her that she has NO interest in stuff like that.”

“Very true. And I’m sure you’ve heard us talking about her moving out and about her old boyfriend coming back into her life. Not to mention she had two kids before I had my operation.”

“So what am I then? I don’t think you see me as a plaything or just a cute, young girl to have sex with.”

“No, I don’t. I love you. I mean that. But there are limits to what I can offer you. In the end, it comes down to what you want, what your life goals are, and what I can provide. Some things just can’t work because of the circumstances we find ourselves in. Remember our talk about not being able to have everything you want? That’s the situation you find yourself in right now.”

“Because nothing I can do can change the situation with you, Jessica, and Kara. And your kids.”

“Correct. There are, indeed, things money can’t buy. And I think, in the long run, you can’t give up what you would need to give up to have that kind of relationship with us. There’s no need to rush your decisions, either. You have nine months or so before you have to decide to move into the dorms or not. Until then, if you’re happy with the way things are going, just be happy and go with the flow, as it were. See how things develop. See how you feel. You’re still young and have a lot of time to make those life decisions.”

“So what do you want?”

“For you to be a happy, healthy, mature adult who understands that the world is a very different place from where she grew up.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes. That’s why I would have accepted whichever decision you made. And been happy either way. This really is about you.”

“Sex with me isn’t important?”

“That is not what I said! I suppose the best way to say it is that I would gladly forgo sex with you if it helps you be the person you want to be and I want to help you become.”

“Because you can get sex anywhere?” Samantha asked.

“No, not because of that,” I replied gently. “If the choice was between being celibate and hurting you, it’s an easy choice.”

“You really mean that, don’t you?”

“I do. I’ve had some serious, serious struggles in that area recently, and done a lot of debating with myself over when it’s right to go to bed with someone, and when it’s not. In the past, I didn’t think much about it. Well, that’s not quite true. I thought about it in the sense of ensuring the other person really wanted it. I pretty much ALWAYS wanted it!”

“How you behaved with me the first time versus after what happened in Monaco?”

“Yes. That first time, I had no question about wanting it; I only wanted to make sure YOU wanted it. The second decision was way more complicated.”

“What made you start thinking that way?”

“You. Michelle. What happened with Jeri and Lisa. What happened with Crystal. And some other stuff which I can’t really discuss. And, probably the biggest thing recently, your dad.”

My sister, being the primary thing, but also Jennifer, Bethany, and, most recently, Caroline.

“Because of how he treated the girls like Denise?”

“Yes. Exactly.”

“And that’s why you were OK with never hitting on any of my friends.”

“Yes. I didn’t want to be your dad. And I could see myself being like that if I wasn’t careful. The last thing I’d ever want to do would be to hurt my kids the way your dad hurt you. You have friends now who you can safely bring here without worrying that I’m simply going to add them to a list of conquests.”

“You remember what I said about Ellie?”

“Well, you hinted at it, but that was a topic I was never going to raise. For obvious reasons.”

“I was curious because I did offer that as a deal-sweetener.”

“I know. But given the circumstances, it seemed wrong to bring it up. Especially after what happened with your friend Denise.”

“And I told you why I thought it was different,” Samantha said.

“What are you saying?” I asked. “Just be direct.”

“I don’t know what I’m saying, really. I was trying to explain my situation here to Ellie and Mary on Saturday afternoon and it was kind of difficult.”

“I can see that.”

“I didn’t tell them about my money, or about my mom and dad, other than the fact that they didn’t care and you took me in. But then it kind of got weird because they asked about how I met you and what our relationship is. And they’ve been here enough to know that you have two wives, and Elyse, so they asked me bluntly if we were sleeping together. I swore them to secrecy and told them that I had seduced you, which is true.”

“I suppose that’s a reasonable way to describe what happened. But I’m curious now, your ‘deal sweetener’? Was it real? Or not?”

“Real in theory, I suppose. I didn’t know if Ellie was really interested, but I know enough girls my age who would love to have an older lover show them things, that if you’d taken me up on it, someone would have been available!”

I chuckled, “Interesting. So it was a test?”

“No, not really. I offered it as proof of what I was saying, that if we were lovers, then the girls weren’t off limits, so long as you weren’t chasing after them or trying to get them to chase you by flirting.”

“Samantha, it’s not necessary. You don’t need to procure girls for me!”

She laughed, “I wasn’t planning on it! I would never do that for what should be obvious reasons. But if a girl were to express interest, and I thought she could keep quiet, I might mention it to you. That’s very different.”

“Is it, really? Do you really want me to have sex with your friends?”

“If THEY wanted it? And they suggested it? It’s very different from with my dad. I wouldn’t mind.”

“There’s the thing, it’s not about ‘minding’. That’s the equivalent of ‘If I have to’ which kids say to their parents when they are required to do something they don’t want to do. Do you see the difference?”

“Yes. And Ellie actually asked if you were interested in her. I told her you might be, and I’d ask you. And yes, I’m asking you.”

“All I can say is have her talk to me. I won’t make any promises that I’ll actually do anything.”

“There is one thing you need to do,” Samantha said.

“What’s that?”

She smirked, “Before I give you back to your wives, get your big dick in my tight little pussy and fill me full of your cum!”

“I think Lisa gave you very bad advice about talking that way,” I said.

“Sorry.”

“Just be yourself. I don’t need you to talk like that. Say it in your own words.”

“Before you go back to your wives, I want to do it again with you, and feel you inside me and feel you shoot in me.”

“Now THAT I can do!” I grinned, rolling on top of her firm, young body.

October 30, 1992, Chicago, Illinois

“Is everything set?” I asked Samantha on Friday evening.

“I think so,” she said. “All the snacks are ready, the fridge upstairs is full of pop, and Abbie helped me get the stereo set up before she left. My friends should be here soon.”

“I’ll be in the great room or in my study,” I said. “If anything comes up, just come get me or one of my wives or Elyse.”

“Thanks!” she grinned, and gave me a quick kiss.

I went to the great room to hang out with my extended family. I heard the doorbell ring and Samantha let some of her friends in, then took them to the elevator and went up to the attic room. Over the next twenty minutes, the rest of her friends arrived, and Kara let them in and sent them upstairs.

“They look like a nice group of kids,” Kara said. “And no obvious bottles or anything.”

I chuckled, “No pat-down searches?”

“There were a couple of really cute boys...” she smirked.

I was just about to respond when my private phone rang, so I went to my study to answer it.

“Steve, it’s Caroline.”

“Hi. How was your week?”

“Good. I registered at Arizona State, went out for coffee twice with Janey, and talked to my doctor today.”

“How did that go?”

“I told her what I told you. We talked about it the whole time, and she wants to talk more about it.”

“Good. Just remember what I said about not telling ANYONE except your doctor about it.”

“I won’t. I don’t want to hurt Nick that way. Or my parents. Or Bethany.”

“Good. I’m glad you’re working through this.”

“You helped me. A lot. I’ll never forget. I’ll call you in a few weeks to let you know how I’m doing.”

“I appreciate it. And thank you for trusting me enough to let me help you.”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t, you know?”

“I know. But it worked out in the end.”

“I’ll call you soon!”

We said our goodbyes and I went back to the great room.

“That was Caroline. She said she went out with her friend a few times, registered at Arizona State, and had a good talk with her counselor today.”

“Awesome,” Bethany said. “Steve Adams works his magic on a damaged girl once again. And this time only with cuddles!”

“That worked with you, Bethany,” I said.

“True. San Francisco was something else.”

“Oh, it was something else all right!” I chuckled. “Before I forget, do you need help getting your things from storage?”

“No. Karl and Howard are taking care of that. Whatever won’t fit in the apartment, we’ll sell or give to people on base.”

“Cool.”

We watched a couple of movies, having decided we weren’t going to bed until the party broke up at the designated 1:00am ending time. Just after midnight, I saw two people come down the hallway from the elevator, heading for the basement door. I got up and walked over. It was Mary and a good-looking, brown-haired boy.

“Mary? What’s going on?”

“Uh, we were, uh, going to go downstairs.”

I shook my head, “No. Go back upstairs, please.”

“But Samantha said...”

“She was wrong. Go on, go back to the party.”

The boy looked like I’d just killed his dog, or rather, his chances of getting laid. Whether or not that was what would ultimately have happened, I had no idea, but I wasn’t going to find out. They turned and went back to the elevator.

“What was THAT about?” Jessica asked.

“What do you THINK it was about?” I grinned.

“And you sent them back upstairs? Why? You don’t have an issue with that!”

“Not in general, but I felt I needed to draw a line. I don’t want the kids thinking they can do anything they want when they come here. Under different circumstances, I might simply look the other way, but not at the first party we let Samantha have. And it seems she told them it was OK.”

“Probably based on your approach to sex,” Bethany said. “She’s been at several Rap Sessions and I suspect you’ve talked with her, at least in between!”

“Snuggle Bear talks more than he screws, Bethany! You know that!”

“TELL me about it,” she sighed. “I told you what happened in San Francisco!”

“You told them,” I said. “And you agreed with me that I was right.”

“It is kind of a mood-killer, you know,” Bethany groused.

“Evidence would suggest that’s not true!” I grinned.

“Whatever!” Bethany said, laughing.

The party broke up at 1:00am, and as I expected, Samantha confronted me about turning Mary and her friend away from the basement.

“Why? You’re cool with sex! They were just going to make out!”

“You remember our talk about rules and limits? And about trust and respect?”