Chapter 26: Temper Tantrums

October 15, 1992, Chicago, Illinois

“Father, bless!” I said, cupping my hands to receive a blessing.

“Bless you, Stephen!” Father Basil said making the sign of the cross over my upturned hands.

I kissed his hand and we sat down at the diner in Bridgeport.

“How are things?” he asked.

“Good, I suppose. I mean, we could be in Cairo right now. That was a terrible earthquake the other day.”

“Lord have mercy! Over 500 dead and thousands injured. And serious damage to the Great Pyramid of Giza. Quite terrible. But how have you been?”

“I was in San Francisco two Sundays ago and went to Holy Trinity Cathedral. It’s OCA.”

He nodded, “I know that church. It’s beautiful.”

“But that’s only minor compared to what happened with my friend Michelle.”

“Which one is that?”

“The young woman I told you about. The devout Roman Catholic who was assaulted?”

“Ah yes. How is she?”

“At the Orthodox Monastery of the Transfiguration in Ellwood City, Pennsylvania.”

“What?!” he asked, clearly surprised. “Visiting?”

“No, seeking to become a nun. She spent the summer reading Schmemann and Lossky. She continued to go to church and pray, but in the end, she sought out a spiritual solution that met her needs and could provide her with peace.”

“Wow! I know of one other case like that. A young woman from a parish in the area who was a Roman Catholic nun, left the church, and then found Orthodoxy. She eventually received a blessing to go to a monastery in Ohio. Did Michelle speak with a bishop?”

“She didn’t reveal what happened when she went to see Mother Christophora, but she was well aware of that requirement when she came back to Chicago to get things in order to move to Ellwood City.”

“The way you’re saying all of this makes me think you fully support her decision.”

I nodded, “I do. She and I had the most in-depth conversations between February and September. She insisted that I pray for her every single day.”

“Have you?”

“Yes.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

“Confused. The same as with just about everything else to do with faith. Michelle insisted that I had a lot of faith in my heart, but very little in my head. I know quite a few people who would agree I have very little in my head in general!”

Father Basil laughed, “Besides your kids and your wives?”

“The list is long and impressive. My sister is probably the one who’s told me that longer than anyone else. She called me a ‘dumb boy’ from the time we were very young. And quite a few of my ex-girlfriends said the same thing, though usually in far more earthy terms!”

He nodded, “Of that I have no doubt! What are you going to do about that head/heart divide?”

“The only thing I can do - keep doing what I promised Michelle I’d do and continue to read and think and talk. I’ll come to church about every two months as we have been. Jesse has been coming two or three times a month.”

“I’m going to need to talk to Jennifer and Josie soon. He’s been agitating to be received into the church so he can receive the Eucharist.”

“I have no objections,” I said. “In fact, if that’s what Jesse wants, I’m fully behind his decision.”

Father Basil smiled, “I was sure that would be your position. And once you told me about Michelle, I was even more sure. Would you let them know I’ll call them this weekend and set up a time to meet them? It should be without Jesse.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem. Well, arranging the meeting. I’m not sure they’ll approve, given their situation.”

He nodded, “I understand. How are things with the archdiocese?”

“Good. I saw the bishop a few weeks ago to talk about some new reports. He exerted his usual light pressure on me.”

“He’s a good man, and he cares about you.”

I nodded, “I know. But with Jessica and Kara, I’m in an impossible situation in that regard.”

“Do what you are able to, that’s all any of us can ever do. I’d say if you’re actually praying for Michelle every day, that’s a huge step.”

“I am. I haven’t missed a day since she asked me to do it.”

We had a nice lunch, and I promised to let Jennifer know that he was going to call her sometime over the weekend. I did that when she arrived home from work.

“That’s not going to be an easy decision or one with an easy answer,” she said.

“I know. But honestly, in all the times I’ve been there, I don’t think I’ve heard a single word about homosexuality. Yes, they teach the idea of one man and one woman, for life, and no pre-marital sex, but so does society at large. Jesse is going to hear that message over and over, no matter what we do. The bigger problem will be convincing him to be circumspect about his views. He’s not going to change them.”

“And that will pass muster with the priest?”

“He knows our situation, Jen. He doesn’t lecture me on it, and neither does the bishop. They know I know their opinions, and the only thing either of them has really done is nudge me to pray and go to church. If you think about it, what would direct confrontation do?”

“Drive you away!”

“Precisely. That was the thing that Kent van der Meer and Alan Blanchard failed to understand. And probably, ultimately, Lauren’s parents, though I didn’t talk to her long enough to know what she meant by saying she had worked things out. And I don’t WANT to know.”

“Did she ever write the letter to Katy?”

“Yes, and I forwarded it with a note suggesting that Katy simply burn it unread. I don’t know if she did or not. I don’t want to ask.”

“Probably the best idea. Anyway, all I can say is that Josie and I will listen to Father Basil. I can’t promise you a positive response.”

“It’s not me that’s the issue, Mom One,” I grinned.

“No, I guess it’s not,” she sighed.

October 16, 1992, Chicago, Illinois

“Steve Adams,” I said, answering the phone on my desk in my study.

“Steve, this is Caroline Evans.”

“Hi, Caroline, how are you?”

“OK, I guess.”

“What can I do for you?”

“I want to talk to you, if it’s OK.”

“Always. Go ahead.”

“I’m going to cry. A lot.”

“That’s OK,” I said. “I totally understand. Remember when you were here?”

“Yes. That’s what I need,” she sighed. “I need you to let me cry like that. Would you do that again?”

“That’s kind of difficult to do over the phone, but I can listen.”

“Could I come see you?” she asked plaintively. “Please?”

“Let me check with Jessica and Kara and call you back. Is that OK?”

“Yes.”

After I hung up I went to Bethany first. Her opinion was the one that would really matter.

“Caroline Evans just called and asked to come see me. She wants to talk and says she needs to cry.”

“Talk about mixed emotions,” Bethany said. “If she’s actually going to talk about Nick and how she feels, I don’t see how I can advise you to say ‘no’. Given that she kissed you twice, and she’s likely to want to kiss you again, I don’t know how I can advise you to say ‘yes’.”

“Steve!” Abbie called out.

“Here, in the ‘Indian’ room.”

“I have a ‘dad’ issue that needs your attention.”

“Can it wait?” I asked.

“No. Albert is throwing a temper tantrum.”

“A what?!” I asked in surprise.

“A crying, feet-kicking, fist-pounding temper tantrum.”

“What set THAT off?” I asked.

“Michael had a toy that Albert wanted and Michael wouldn’t give it to him.”

“So, tell him to stop.”

“Kara and I tried. We need you.”

I shook my head, “Bethany, I’ll be right back.”

I followed Abbie to the basement where my son was, indeed, having a full-blown temper tantrum. I decided to try something I’d thought about.

“Albert, that isn’t a very good tantrum,” I said. “I couldn’t even hear you upstairs! You need to cry louder and kick your feet harder and pound your fists more!”

“Uh, Steve, we’re trying to get him to stop!” Kara said quietly.

I nodded, “Louder, Albert. Aunt Bethany can’t hear you upstairs! Throw a GOOD tantrum!”

Suddenly it grew quiet.

“Reverse psychology!” Abbie said quietly, with a soft laugh. “Wow!”

I knelt down and picked up Albert and helped him stand up.

“Now, what was the problem?”

“Michael! He has my car!”

“I think those cars belong to everyone,” I said.

“I play with that one!” he said, plaintively.

“Abbie?” I asked.

“Usually Albert has that car, but there are three others.”

“Albert, pick a different car, please. Tomorrow, you can play with the other car. OK?”

“Yes,” he sniffed and went to the shelf to get a different car.

“Michael, tomorrow, Albert can play with that car, OK?”

“Yes, Dad.”

I smiled at Abbie and Kara.

“You are unreal,” Kara laughed.

“Jessica and Samantha have dinner almost ready. I need to finish talking to Bethany before we eat.”

I went back upstairs, almost running into Bethany at the top of the flight.

“Only YOU would try that!” she laughed. “And it worked!”

“If I tell the kids I want them to stop crying because it annoys me, what do you think they’re going to do?”

“Think that will work again?”

“I think a couple more times like that, especially if Kara, Abbie, and Jessica do it, and we won’t see ANY tantrums.”

“Because the tantrum is designed to get attention and annoy!”

“Yes, so what do we do about Nick’s sister?” I asked.

“I wish I knew what she had in mind,” Bethany said. “The fact that she wants to come here concerns me.”

“Because you think she’s going to want to be comforted?”

“Yes. If you let her visit, she’s going to sit in your lap, pour out her emotions, cry her eyes out, and expect you to take her to bed to console her.”

“Well, Doctor Krajick, what do I do?”

“Maybe it helps. Maybe it makes things worse.”

“What’s your best guess?” I asked.

“As someone who needed you to make love to her to help her recover, I’m not sure I’m the right person to answer that question.”

“You weren’t the only one. Jennie McGrath. Jennifer, though I didn’t know it the first time. Tracey Jones, though that was a self-image problem. Katy for different reasons. Jacqui and Abbie also for their own reasons.”

“Kara, at Christmas,” Bethany said. “Kathy, after a fashion. Samantha. Michelle. I think you’ve done this more than I realized. I think you might be qualified to decide if it’s right or wrong. You have to be prepared for her to ask, and make sure you’re doing the right thing.”

“I wish it were that easy.”

“For you? You can do it. We talked about your sauna conversation with Samantha. If you could simply sit there and have a rational conversation with her standing naked in front of you, you can do this! You let ME cry myself to sleep twice and turned ME down. And I KNOW how much you wanted me. I think you can make a good decision.”

“I have to ask my wives. And Samantha, based on my agreement with her.”

“Dinner!” Jessica called.

We went to the table and after we ate, I asked Kara and Jessica to my study and told them about Caroline’s request and Bethany’s opinion.

“Dangerous,” Jessica said.

“So was him making love with me at Christmas after our year apart,” Kara said. “And remember she actually talked to Steve after not talking to anyone for over two years. Kathy said she was like a zombie at the court martial.”

“Remember,” I said, “Bethany is making an assumption based on the fact that Caroline kissed me twice. I pushed back immediately, so there’s no way to know if it would have gone any further.”

“I say it’s worth the risk to help her,” Kara said.

“Do you know if she asked her parents about coming here?” Jessica asked.

“No. I didn’t ask.”

“Ask that question. If they know about it and are OK with her coming here, then yes. Otherwise, no.”

“That makes sense,” I said. “Now I need to pass Samantha’s veto.”

Jessica laughed, “I cannot believe you made a seventeen-year-old girl a gatekeeper!”

“It makes sense, Jess,” Kara said. “Remember Steve’s concern? That he would be like Samantha’s dad? If she has a veto, SHE can control it and can’t really complain. She even teased him about Ellie!”

“I’m not sure if that was a tease or not,” I chuckled. “But the issue hasn’t come up and per our agreement, I’m not allowed to ask about it or flirt or anything like that!”

“Because her dad would do that,” Kara said. “It all makes perfect sense if you think about it. All of the rules she asked for serve the same purpose. Are you sleeping with her tonight?”

“Unless either of you object, yes.”

I went to find Samantha and asked her to step into my study, the last of a procession of women with whom I needed to clear something very much out of the ordinary.

“That’s a little weird, don’t you think?” she asked after I explained what Caroline had asked for and what Bethany suspected.

“Yes, but let me tell you a couple of stories from my past.”

I explained about Bethany in High School, Bethany after Nick, and Jennie McGrath. Samantha listened quietly, nodding occasionally, but remaining silent.

“I only remember crying three times since I turned ten. Once when I watched that video of my dad. Once when Lisa told me you had slept with her. And once when I locked myself in my room in Monaco after I made my mistake. I guess I’m mostly emotionless, except about you.”

“So what do you think?” I asked.

“She’s going to come here, talk to you about her brother’s death, and then go home?”

“Yes. She’s not staying.”

“And you didn’t do anything to encourage her?”

“No. In fact, when she kissed me, I gently pushed her away and told her ‘no’.”

“Then I say OK. It doesn’t seem like you’re behaving badly.”

“I’ll go call her, and then I’m all yours!”

She gave me a quick kiss and left the study. I dialed the number Caroline had left.

“Did you talk to your parents about your trip?” I asked.

“Yes. Do you want to talk to my mom?”

“Yes, please,” I said.

A moment later Kimberly came on the phone.

“I know she talked to you while she was in Chicago and it seemed to help. Later, I talked with Harry Krajick about Bethany’s recovery, and Harry told me how much you had done to help Bethany after Nick’s death, and how you could handle very emotional situations without letting things get out of control. He told a very different story than Nora.”

“I think Harry is much more in tune with Bethany and with my relationship with her than Nora is.”

“After talking to him, and getting his advice, I suggested Caroline come talk to you. I hope she can talk with Bethany, too. Maybe the shared love for my son can help. At this point, I’ll try anything.”

“Bethany and I talked and agreed it would be OK. When?”

“Next weekend if that works for you? The 23rd through the 25th. She’d fly up on Friday afternoon and fly home on Sunday evening.”

“OK. I have a karate obligation on Saturdays, but we’ll work around that. She could talk to Bethany on Saturday morning. Call me when you have the travel plans.”

“Thank you. I’ll give you back to Caroline.”

“Hi,” Caroline said.

“I told her it was OK.”