Chapter 15: Like Sands Through the Hourglass...

August 4, 1992, Chicago, Illinois

“Boss, Penny just called!” Terry grinned from my doorway on Tuesday morning.

“And you’re standing there, why?” I chuckled. “Call when Amber has a little brother or sister!”

“I will!” he grinned.

I picked up the phone and dialed Kimmy’s desk to let her know so she could arrange for flowers, and also record Terry out on ‘«pappaledighet»’.

I finally heard from him about 8:30pm that Amber had a baby brother, Andrew, who they would call Andy. I called Kimmy at home to let her know, and she promised to have flowers there first thing in the morning. I let everyone know, and Jesse, Matthew, and Nicholas were very happy that Penny and Terry had had a boy.

August 7, 1992, Chicago, Illinois

“Steve?” Elyse said from the door to my office. “I have a finalist candidate for the reception job.”

“OK. Now? Or do you need to arrange something for next week?”

“He’s here now.”

“He?” I asked.

She stepped into the office and shut the door.

“He! What? A guy can’t be a receptionist?”

“No, it’s just...”

“What? You gave me grief when I asked you about screwing a black girl and now you give me grief about a guy receptionist?”

“No, I’m just surprised.”

“What? I can’t hire a sexy, built young stud to go along with all these smoking hot girls you hire?”

“Stop!” I chuckled. “It’s fine. Bring him in. What’s his name?”

“Lucas North,” she said.

“Experience?”

“Chippendale dancer,” she smirked.

“SERIOUS experience?”

“He works for a temp agency. Mostly reception, but also light clerical. He’s looking for a full-time gig. He lives in Wrigleyville with some friends.”

“Then bring him in. Please tell me he’s not a Cubs fan!”

“I have no idea! I didn’t ask! I’ll go get him.”

She was back a minute later with a good-looking, fit, blonde kid who I could imagine Elyse calling sexy. When she was seventeen! At twenty-nine, I thought she had more refined tastes, but then again, I went for the younger girls, so maybe she decided she wanted her own young stud! I suppressed a chuckle and pushed those thoughts from my head.

“Have a seat, Lucas,” I said.

He sat on the couch and I sat in one of the chairs across from him.

“Elyse thinks we should hire you. Why?”

He looked stunned, but quickly recovered.

“I’m intelligent, organized, efficient, speak proper, grammatically correct English, and I’m reliable. I do whatever is asked of me without complaint and I pitch in to help anywhere I’m needed.”

I nodded, “Wait here.”

I got up and went to Elyse’s office.

“Did you coach him? Be honest?”

“No.”

“Then he’s hired. Have him start today if he can.”

She laughed, “Are you switch-hitting now?”

“Oh shut up!” I chuckled. “Come on.”

We walked back to my office.

“When can you start?” Elyse asked.

“Monday, if you like,” Lucas said. “I don’t have an assignment for next week yet.”

“Be here at 7:45am,” Elyse said. “Keri and Kimmy will show you the ropes. Come with me and you can fill out your paperwork.”

August 9, 1992, Chicago, Illinois

“So what do you think?” I asked Jessica as she, Kara, and I walked to the hospital on Sunday morning.

“I think you need to have a deep, heart-to-heart talk with Samantha,” Jessica said. “And then have one with Michelle.”

“Me, alone?” I asked.

“I think so. Both of them need you to help them, but in different ways. And I’m not sure you can help them both. I think their demands on you, and on us, conflict.”

“That what they both want from me is to be the third? To have a more permanent part in our lives?”

“I think that’s possible,” Jessica said. “And I’m sure you noticed that the two of them have been eyeing each other suspiciously and have been very wary of each other.”

“It might have been a better idea to wait until Michelle moved to the dorms before having Samantha stay over.”

“Are you sure Michelle is moving to the dorms?” Jessica asked.

“She hasn’t said anything to me about not moving,” I said.

“She hasn’t said much of anything this week. Part of it was her figuring things out; part of it was the fact that Samantha was here.”

I sighed, “I suppose so. And Samantha?”

“I’m not sure you can fix her, Tiger. Her problems are much, much deeper than having had sex outside marriage.”

“Don’t be so sure,” I said. “Michelle’s problems are spiritual. She’s having a true existential crisis. Samantha just has a messed-up home life. If she’s willing to work at it, Samantha’s problems are easily solved. Not to mention she has effectively unlimited resources to call on.”

“Just has a messed-up home life?” Kara asked. “You make it sound so simple.”

“I’m not saying it’s simple. What I’m saying is that application of a bit of guidance and a lot of love and she’ll turn out just fine. I can’t say for sure what’s going to happen with Michelle.”

“And if you’re mistaken?”

“Then I revise my plans,” I said.

“And Bethany? How does she fit in?” Jessica asked.

“That’s complicated. I’m not sure how Michelle OR Samantha would react to that.”

“And Jodie when she shows up in Chicago?”

“I made no commitments to her except to provide tutoring. It’s like the situation with Aimee, Lyudmila, or Crystal. Or Pia, if she were to come to visit. No promises were made to any of them. And that would include Cindi, too. No promises.”

“I thought Lyudmila was supposed to visit over the summer,” Kara said.

“She was, but she ended up with some kind of research job on campus and didn’t go to New York. She’ll visit after graduation before she starts work.”

“I’m not sure either Michelle or Samantha can deal with all of your relationships,” Jessica said. “Even if you just maintain them as friends. It’s going to cause tension.”

“That’s a consideration, isn’t it? If anyone is going to be a long-term third, they’ll have to accept it. If they can’t, then perhaps when Elyse moves out, it’ll just be the odd dalliance instead. I know you both have a preference for a single long-term girl.”

“Which we both reconsidered after the fiasco which Lisa caused with Samantha,” Kara said.

“What are you saying?” I asked.

“That changing how things have naturally worked well is harder than I thought it would be.”

“Because we are, in effect, looking for someone to replace Elyse? Once she was with Eduardo, you feel like a clock is ticking. Elyse herself said that. She thought it was going to be Abbie, but that’s obviously not happening. Do you both agree with her that a third is necessary? For my mental health?”

“I don’t know anymore,” Kara said. “You’ve changed so much I’m not exactly sure what you need right now.”

“Jess?” I asked.

“I think that’s the root of the problem. You aren’t the man we married. And that’s a GOOD thing. We’re all trying to figure out how this works. Let me ask you this, could you promise, right here, right now, to only be with Kara and me?”

“I could,” I said. “I’ve said that before.”

“I think you would struggle mightily with that,” Kara said. “And at some point, you’d want to change the agreement. It’s hard to go back from there, if you know what I mean.”

We were approaching the hospital, which meant the conversation had to end.

“I think, right now, I need to talk to both of them and see what they’re thinking. You both expressed a clear preference for Michelle, but you’d be OK with Samantha. And you’d both be OK, at this point, if I didn’t make any specific long-term commitments.”

“Tiger, we want you to be happy. We knew what we were getting into when we married you. We’re both happy when you’re happy.”

“That makes no sense to me,” I said. “You need to be happy independently.”

“I have my career, my husband, my wife, and our children,” Jessica said. “I’m happy.”

“I have the two of you and our children,” Kara said. “I’m happy. And you need to be true to yourself. I know what happens when you aren’t. I’d much rather be in this position than the one I was in back in January of 1981.”

I nodded, “I hear you. Let me talk to them and see where we are.”

The three of us hugged, exchanged kisses and Jessica walked into the hospital. Kara and I took each other’s hand for the walk home. We walked a couple of blocks in silence as I contemplated what to do.

“I have some advice, if you want it,” Kara said.

“Sure. Always.”

“When you talk things through with Michelle and Samantha, don’t make any commitments beyond the fact that you’ll love them and help them as best you can. It’s not as if you can marry either of them, or even be exclusive with them. Just be honest about who you are and what you can offer.”

“That’s more or less what I was thinking. There really isn’t another way. I want to ask you a blunt, direct question, and I’d like a totally honest answer.”

“Always.”

“Do you want me to stop being with other girls? Permanently? And just be with you and Jess?”

Kara stopped, and took both my hands, and looked me in the eyes.

“I agreed, when I came back to you, to take you as I found you. I expected nothing. You gave me more than I could ever have hoped for. Love, children, a beautiful home, and wonderful friends. You gave me Jess, too. And I’m a professor at a major university. I have everything I ever wanted.”

“But you have to share me,” I said.

“SO? Does Jesse complain? Does Birgit?”

“That’s different. They’re kids.”

“Is it? Tell me how it’s different. Do you love Jesse any less than before Birgit was born? Or even before Matthew was born?”

“No, of course not.”

“Do you love me any less than you did on January 9th, 1981?”

“No, of course not!”

“And does your loving Jess or Bethany or Elyse change how much you love me?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then I have nothing to complain about. You having sex with Michelle or Samantha or Jodie or Fawn didn’t change anything between us.”

“But you didn’t always think that!”

“Didn’t I? Becky? Debbie V’s little sister? Trish? Shelly? Your own sister? Prom with Bethany AND Kathy?”

“I never thought of it that way,” I said.

“Nothing has changed. Everything is perfect. I have two wonderful little girls named after your former lovers who died! Who does that?”

“Someone who loves me unconditionally and without reservation.”

“Think about all the girls you thought might be life partners who couldn’t handle what they all knew you were. The girls who couldn’t share. Karin. Penny. Aimee. Joyce. Bethany. Even Melanie!”

“OK! You’ve made your point,” I sighed.

She dropped one hand and we started walking again.

“You need to have this talk with Jess, too,” Kara said.

“I know,” I said. “Tonight when she gets home.”

“Walk to get her yourself, OK?”

“Yes.”

When we arrived home, I took Samantha to my study and we sat side-by-side in wingback chairs.

“What do you think of our crazy family?” I asked.

“It’s not crazy,” she smiled. “It’s the most loving place I could ever imagine. Everyone loves each other. Nobody is jealous. Nobody really fights. It’s what I wish I had at home. I had a nanny until I was thirteen, but she was nothing like Abbie. It was a job for her. For Abbie it’s an expression of love for you and your kids. I talked to her, and I bet you anything that she and Jason find a way to be together that lets her stay with you.

“It’s funny, too. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you are so much like my dad. But so different. You had sex with me, but I never felt as if I was being used or abused, and I never expected anything from it except your attention. You give so freely of yourself and he gives nothing. He just takes. The way I used to. And it would be so easy to come here and just take. But it would feel so wrong.

“You don’t assign chores; they just get done. Everyone pitches in, even the kids, as best they can. I don’t think I heard a single complaint or harsh word the entire week. Yes, the kids behave like kids, but when they stray a bit, you all handle it simply and firmly. And they respond because they know you love them. Everyone shares. I don’t think I ever heard anyone say ‘mine’ the entire time I’ve been here. That’s so foreign to me I don’t even know how to process it.”

“So you liked it here?” I asked.

“Can I move in?” she grinned. “And will you adopt me?”

“That would kind of preclude certain other arrangements!” I chuckled.

“Uh, yeah. Well, I’m not sure you’re ever going to put that option on the table.”

“Why do you think that?” I asked.

“I just have this feeling from the way you acted this week.”

“Because I simply treated you as a member of the family and didn’t hit on you or flirt with you?”

“Yes,” she said quietly. “And because of Michelle.”

“The first part was because that was what we planned all along. For you to see what living here as part of the family was like, without clouding it with sex. You were a bit uncomfortable with the sauna on Friday night.”

“Because your friends Kathy and Kurt and Pete and Melanie were there. Being naked in front of strange guys is, well strange!”

I chuckled, “Yes. And in front of the kids?”

“They’re all little. If Jesse were thirteen or fourteen, then it would have been really strange. The same with Birgit.”

“But what do you think THEY will say when they’re that age?”

“They’ll be used to it.”

“Exactly. Some people are never comfortable with being naked in there even with other adults. Some aren’t comfortable when there are kids in there, like Gina and Bo. And we’ve always accommodated. BUT, if you are part of the family, it means not being modest in that way. It’s all out in the open here. My kids know about my sleeping arrangements. We don’t hide it from them.”

“Yeah, well, my dad videotapes his sleeping arrangements, so the fact that your kids know about yours seems tame by comparison.”

“So where do we go from here?” I asked.

“I thought that was MY question to you!”

“You have to tell me what you want, Samantha. Then we can figure out if it’s possible.”

Samantha smiled, “I suppose having your vasectomy reversed, marrying me, having a couple of kids, and being worth half-a-billion-dollars is out of the question?” she said with a smile.

“Tempting, but I think I have to pass on that one,” I chuckled.

“Shocking!” she said with a laugh. “To be honest, I don’t KNOW what I want. Right now, the only friends I have are here in this house. You, Abbie, and Birgit. And how weird is that? I have a friend who is four! But you know, after being here for a week, I wonder if that’s not my speed right now. I think you got it exactly right. My body is seventeen but my emotional age is closer to Jesse or Birgit than to Abbie.

“I wonder if I didn’t completely wreck things by having sex with you before I should have. Perhaps if I’d waited, things might have gone differently. Lisa would have played her game and it wouldn’t have mattered. You would have turned her down because your rule is clear in that area. She would have been upset, but she wouldn’t have had a chance to break us up.”

“I had a similar thought,” I said. “I don’t usually play the ‘What if?’ game, though I do look back and decide if I made a mistake. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I agree with you.”

“I understand. I think you enjoyed it just as much as I did.”

I smiled, “I did. And now, you need to figure out what you want.”

“Will you let me visit as much as I want?”

“So long as you keep your grades up, yes.”

“Gee, thanks, Dad!” she giggled.

“I’m serious. If you hang out here a lot, I need to see your grade reports.”

“Do I get rewarded for good grades?” she asked with an impish smile.

I’d told Elyse just to ask me for what she wanted, and she had. Bethany had told me what she wanted. In both those cases, that had cut through what might otherwise have been a ridiculous amount of bullshit.

“Ask me for what you want, Samantha. That’s how things work with adults. Or how they’re supposed to, anyway.”

“Just tell you directly?”

“Yes.”

“I want to come here every weekend, plus days we have off school. And I want to have sex with you whenever you’ll let me.”

“And the conditions for that?”

She smiled, “Just love me. As you have since I met you.”

“I have to discuss this with my wives, but I think it’ll be OK. One important thing, though. The STD testing rules apply.”

“You mean if I were with someone else?”

“Yes. But also at least twice a year just on general principles.”

“Doctor Bethany said I had to wait a month to be tested after my mistake in Monaco.”

“You can’t get your friend to get tested?” I asked.

“He’s the LAST person I want to talk to right now. So, no, probably not. But I can try a round-about way.”