Chapter 3

Supper turned out to be pretty damn good, for cafeteria food, though undeniably the plantains that Gabby and Raquel made together were the highlight of the evening victuals. They were certainly vastly superior to the cafeteria version of chicken florentine, though it wasn’t bad and I’m rather partial to spinach myself. The salad wasn’t so bad, either, at least as it was the nicer kind of Caesar, not the crap that one would expect from a university dining hall. That was a nice touch at least, but it was summer time, after all, when salad always held more appeal as a cool and refreshing first course for a meal. I also didn’t know when my next salad would come from, so that was a factor as well in sharpening my appetite.

We had company, too, though, in spite of our expectations, when Autumn’s stepfather Ryan and her rather dimwitted mother, Bonnie, showed up. Evidently, Gabby didn’t scare him off forever, and he came back here, though without perhaps telling his wife about his negative experience. The funny thing was Bonnie making doe eyes at Lewis much of the time, unable to pick up on any hint of his homosexuality. Yeah, she was that fucking dense. Clearly, Autumn’s brains came from her old man, not her mom.

It was even funnier that Gabby was visibly uncomfortable around him and unsure of whether or not to apologize, given the risk of exposing his infidelity to his wife ... well, until she noticed that the stupid bitch was ogling Lewis. She was living in a glass house now and couldn’t throw stones, could she? Gabby walked over to a very nervous Ryan and offered a hand, expecting him to shake it. Instead, he kissed it, and she coughed a bit, as did Bonnie, who finally noticed something other than Lewis. She glared possessively at Gabby, who just burst out laughing.

“Wow, you’re that fucking dumb, aren’t you? I was apologizing to your husband over our misunderstanding, and he was such a nice guy that he gave me a very sweet gesture of forgiveness, even if perhaps motivated by sexual attraction to me. Unfortunately for him, I’m gay and very much inclined to be faithful to my wife, Anwyn, here. However, I’m sorely tempted to ride him, anyway, for having cock-blocked him with your daughter earlier and kicked him in the groin and the culo.

“Clearly, you need the facts of life spelled out for you, just as I did and received from dear Adam here. I owe him a lot for that, in fact. Look, you’re very clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed, especially if you haven’t picked up that Autumn is now Adam’s problem, and her nudity is a clear sign that she is going to get fucked by him ... a lot. Not to mention that Lewis here, who you lust for so much, is as gay as Liberace. Now, here’s the deal. Except for a few old-fashioned folks like Anwyn and me, who still desire monogamy and all that jazz, and even we are making exceptions long enough to get knocked up the natural way since science and modern medicine are now non-factors in fertility, anyway, point is ... the days of keeping your man on a short leash are over and done.

“Same with keeping your woman, too, to an extent, though if I were you, Ryan, I’d put her on one, literally almost, on general principles. She’s too stupid to live and makes the sisterhood look really bad. Ryan, at least, is a sensible enough guy, if you leave out his stupidity in taking you on ... I half-wonder if he only did so for Autumn’s sake, in which case his investment might still pay off. You don’t appear to have any other kids, either, which is going to be real danger to your future dreams of keeping him close, by the way. If you don’t watch out, you’re going to lose him now, and from the looks of you, I don’t rate your chances of survival on your own as very high. Like I said, you give the sisterhood and feminism a bad name.

“Women like you are sheep, though that’s true of plenty of men, too. You know what happens to sheep eventually, you dumb puta? They get fleeced, and then they get milked, and then finally, when they’re no other use to anyone, they get slaughtered for mutton. That’s if they’re not unlucky enough to be turned into lamb chops first. That’s your future, in a nutshell, without Ryan here. He’s your lifeboat, if you will. Without him, near as I can tell, you’re going to end up getting your ass raped, enslaved, or worse. Without him, you dumb cunt, I doubt that you’ll be able to fend off starvation without becoming some prick warlord’s slut, either. You wouldn’t know your ass from candy, would you?

“Really, you guys should just stick with us, and Ryan, Adam, you should just share women. So should you, Till. Wife-swapping can be the order of the day, and it liberates both men and women, though there do need to be leaders. We can sort that part out, too, though I’d advise against giving any authority to Bonnie. And, if you don’t mind the idea, Anwyn, we should both front-load the straight sex and get it over with. Then, when we’re back in Wales, we don’t have to do jack shit with men. No incest issues that way, either. Let Adam, Ryan, Till, and maybe Lewis if he can get it up for us, do the honors. Then we can move on with our lives and be as lezzie as we want to be,” Gabby stunned us all with her canny, whip-smart analysis of things, though Bonnie was seething by now.

“Clearly, your absence will be felt, as will Anwyn’s, given your combined brain power, or even your individual, which is impressive enough in its own right. Wales doesn’t know what’s about to hit it, with the possible exception of your brother, Anwyn. At any rate, I tend to concur, more or less, though we can use whatever semantic labels we feel most comfortable with ... I got my wives, so I don’t have to marry all of the women, unless they all wish to marry me.

“As for the breeding of you and Anwyn, are you two really comfortable with that? I wouldn’t want to start trouble in your marriage right off the bat,” I asked each of them.

“I’m fine with it, of course. It’s better than bedding my own brother, which combines my already strong distaste for cock with the serious squick of incest, a notion that already bothered me. The only reason why I even considered it was to make sure my bloodline and hers combined, but even then, is that really necessary? She’s going to be my co-sovereign, so her blood will be as royal as mine. And you are one of my favorite students, though my chief favorite, of course, is Gabby. I’d like to see you take me to bed during my most fertile point of the cycle, right before we leave, and the same with Gabby, so that will be a slight delay, but all in a good cause,” Anwyn reassured me.

“It does comfort me that Adam thinks about more than just where he can stick his cock. He actually cared about what happens to our marriage, which is an act of a friend, not of an egotistical douchebag whose only thought is his dick or, say, if he were female, her pussy. Unlike people who never bother to check if a person is, oh, I don’t know, a gay man before sizing him up for the seduction. People with no gaydar at all and plenty of vanity,” Gabby stared straight at Bonnie when she said, feeling protective of a fellow LGBT person just then.

“That’s why he’s my first choice, not counting his immense intellectual and true potential for greatness, as well as his confidence in me, his old professor, whatever our political differences in the past. He actually gives a fuck about people, which is why instead of wanting those three as his concubines, he preferred to call them wives. That’s very telling, regardless of what one thinks of marriage or their age compared to his.

“He wanted to treat them as his ... beloved ladies, women or girls who mattered to him. He made a point of making the commitment between them mutual rather than one-sided or lopsided. That’s very telling. You can agree or disagree about the whole last name business, but he wanted to make a statement here that they were loved and cared for by him, that they were special to him. That’s very significant, if you ask me.

“By calling them wives instead of concubines, he treated them as racial and social equals, not as some kind of glorified captives or slaves or whatever. They might be submissive to him, and I can kind of gather that they are, but while that is their dynamic, he is still recalling that they are people beneath that. They’re not just chattel to him, and that means a lot to this old feminist professor, I assure you, Adam Clarke. That gives me a lot of faith in you and your vision for the future,” Anwyn turned to me as she spoke now.

“Hey, I prefer to think of them as family. How about this solution, by the way? Ryan takes at least two wives, if they wish it, while so does Till, whoever wishes it, and then we have a sort of wife-swapping pact, if that’s alright with everyone present. We could even call every woman not our own wife a mistress or concubine or girlfriend or whatever. Same with calling every man not your husband a paramour. We could make it all a very practical and communal situation,” I suggested, still humbled by Anwyn’s confidence in me.

“Hey, now, Ryan already has a wife! Me! I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not going along with this!” Bonnie snarled at each of us now.

“Bonnie, sit down and shut up! It’s quite clear that you don’t have the brains God gave a mule! I’ve put up with you for so many years because it was obvious that Autumn needed me, so I dealt with your crap, but I don’t have to anymore. You have two choices: you can join me on this new adventure, this new life of polygamy and polyamory and wife-swapping and swinging and such, and yes, those are distinct from each other, but all are possibly involved here, or you can stay behind and find a new protector while I move on with my life without you.

“Face it, dear. I’m going to do this, with or without you, and so is Autumn. So, really, you got a choice: join us or stay behind. Either way, get over yourself and stop trying to run my life when you can’t even run your own. I do care about you, Bonnie, but sometimes, I swear that you have to be the dumbest person alive!” Ryan finally stood up to Bonnie in a way that she wouldn’t forget, making her speechless for a change.

“But ... but we’re married. You’re supposed to stay with me no matter what. And be faithful to me,” Bonnie stammered.

“As you’ve been completely faithful to me?” Ryan confronted.

“Well, I ... I ... you’re supposed to be a gentleman and loyal, and forgive me if I do wrong. Two wrongs don’t... ,” Bonnie started to say, but Ryan cut her off.

“Don’t even say it, Bonnie. You’re not helping yourself with that bullshit. Two wrongs may or may not make a right, but walking out on a cheating, vain, shallow hypocrite is no wrong in the first place, nor is paying back an adulteress in kind for her infidelity. If you don’t think that I know about Hugh, you’re really delusional. I’m kind of surprised that you didn’t seek him out, but evidently you see me as your meal ticket, your protector, and your servant, and you can’t give that up. Well, I’m not your slave, not your butler, not your ATM, and not your cuckold, henpecked wimp, to put up with your crap anymore.

“You really think that I didn’t pick up on your interest in Lewis, either? Lucky for him, he’s gay. That alone should spare him a lot of grief, at least with you. You really don’t have any powers of observation. You’re only half catching onto what’s happening around us, either, are you? At any rate, I’m tired of your crap, your bullshit, your cheating, your jealousy, your stupid double standards. I’m tired of you going from hot to cold to lukewarm back to hot, and then back to cold in bed, whenever it suits your fancy to play games in a vain attempt to control me. How well has it honestly worked, bitch? You really think that I’m that fucking dumb or weak? Or is it that you really think that the world revolves around you?” Ryan chided his wife in front of us all.

“Um ... I’m ... I’m sorry. I just did what Mom always did to Dad. It seemed to work and she always told me that women were always right, and you know, ‘happy wife, happy life.’ That sort of thing. None of her stuff worked on you. I was supposed to wear the pants in the marriage, be in total control of the house, just as she was, and none of it worked! I’m sorry! I didn’t realize that you didn’t want that. I thought that all men were just overgrown boys who needed a firm hand and ... I thought that if I gave that and sex to you, but on my terms, you’d be grateful and let me have my way as a good, compliant hubby should. After all, you didn’t leave me!” Bonnie sucked in her teeth and started sobbing.

“Did your mother cuckold your father, too, Bonnie?” Ryan demanded to know.

“Yes ... she said that all wives should take lovers, but all husbands should stay loyal to their wives, or else it would lead to men getting sex when they’re supposed to be punished, and that would undermine the punishment and rewards system. Wives need another source of dick to keep firm, and those should always be single men, so as not to mess up another woman’s domain,” Bonnie wiped away tears.

“Horseshit!” I spoke at last, “No wonder Ryan wanted some of what Autumn has to offer. If it’s okay with everyone, including Autumn, I think that Autumn should have two husbands, and the second one should be Ryan. Her stepfather. She clearly wants him, but she also wants me and we both want her. Let me guess, you tried to pass those lessons down to Autumn, but she didn’t go for it?”

“No, she called it bullshit, in fact. I tried to make her understand, but maybe it was me that was wrong. Me and Mom. I guess that, at least for me, I’m the one who needs a firm hand. Not Ryan. Sorry, guys. I just tried to do what I was taught by my mother, your grandmother Ida, Autumn. Sorry that I messed things up,” Bonnie apologized through her tears.

“And so you’ll be okay with Ryan taking me as his second wife? Perhaps you need to be one of Adam’s wives, too. Maybe you guys should just share wives in general, all of your wives, from me to Mom to Xia to Hannah?” Autumn proposed.

“I’m game for that. Someone always needs to give Bonnie some guidance and firm leadership. She’s never been the sharpest tool in the shed, that’s for sure. See, Bonnie, you do get two men, after all, but you have to share them with three other women,” I suggested, “as long as Ryan is cool with it.”

“Works for me, man. Someone’s always gonna keep an eye on Bonnie, and frankly, I could use some more support. And I wouldn’t kick Hannah or Xia out of bed, either. And Autumn, what can I say? I feel as if I’m her real father, and being co-husband to her helps insure that she is as happy as possible. She’s not vain or stupid, though. I don’t mind spoiling her. Somehow, in spite of her dumbass mother and grandmother, she came out great,” Ryan chuckled.