Chapter 177

1715 hours, local time
Saturday, 13 September, 2014
The United States Air Force Academy (defunct)
Colorado Springs, CO

“So, those are your new laws and transitional charter for those of you who have been selected for the provisional government of your fair city. I’m glad to see that the power grid still functions here. That and the continued use of indoor plumbing, among other things, will allow the creation of public baths, the first of which will be located here. They will be unisex, of course, and absolute nudity will be required at all times while inside them ... in all rooms.

“Now, the following public offices will be held by the following people: Mayor Jimmy Logan; Deputy Mayor Andrea Smythe; Chairman of the City Council Wendell Ransom; Vice Chair of the City Council Frederick Kirby; Councilors Gerd Wundt, Kendall Offenbach, Vadim Kostov, Randi Peppers, Eden Marcus, Terry and Tory Nations, Mario Lopez, Maurice X, Ace Levinson, Carmen Ramirez, Michael Dollars, and Roy Slight; Sheriff Adolfo Guzman; Treasurer Jackson Haas; City Clerk Kathy Ito; City Attorney Randy Fisher; City Utility Commissioner Oscar Han Park; City Parks and Recreation Director Arthur Corbett; and City Judges Habib Nasir, Abraham Fisher, Jane Layer, White Tail Hammersley, Elias Gutierrez, Silas Malden, Evan Watkins, Bruce Van Roon, Rajiv Hands, Dario Sabatini, Ignace Klopek, and Donna Campbell.

“The first municipal elections will be held on 1 June, 2015, and the newly elected officials will take office for their four year terms on 1 July, 2015. The heads of the new Church of the Sublime Nakedness will be: The Elders and Ministers Robin Rhys, Juanita Gay, Angel Culver, Troy Papescu, Rita Malden, Donald Campbell, Kendra Offenbach, Ray Slight, Gloria Lopez, and Karl Royal. I will be here until October First to help implement this, so that make things transition smoother than otherwise,” I announced to those present to await my plans for them and their community.

“Actually, I am postponing your departure until October Third. Two more days. Then drive through northern Arizona until you can find a friendly enough place to fly you and your tribe to Reno, and then drive to eastern Oregon and stay there until Halloween itself. Be sure to arrive by dusk at the latest. Present yourself and your tribe to the Lawgiver, stay until November Third, and then head north through Washington into British Columbia. Specifically Vancouver first, then Victoria, and onward,” God appeared, confirming that I was indeed his Prophet.

“Are you God? You resemble Richard Harris,” someone asked him.

“I am God. And I am Richard Harris. I am that I Am,” God informed that person, much to their surprise.

“How is that possible?” someone else inquired, “isn’t Jehovah or Yahweh or Jesus supposed to be God? Or Allah, for that matter?”

“Jehovah had been God right before he handpicked me, a man who was somewhat surprised to even reach Heaven, roughly a decade after my death, as his successor. Jesus and he had been trading back and forth as father and son, so both of them were burned out, from what I could tell. There was also the relatively brief reign of Cesare Borgia as God. A mere fifty-five years in his case. Jehovah’s predecessor was Moloch, who was also his father. You see, God is more of a title than a name. It’s an office, a job, a position,” God now directly confirmed Havenite dogma to people in person for once.