Chapter 152

1935 hours, local time
Wednesday, 6 August, 2014
The Switch Residence
Louisville, KY

“That was one helluva banquet!” I commented while eating my fried chicken supper with green beans and mashed potatoes, “and this is an excellent dinner, for that matter.”

I smiled at my babies, who had been under angelic supervision while I undertook my necessary duties of all kinds. I tucked them under their chins and tickled them, contemplating the little horns on Cain’s flagrantly crimson head and the little fangs as his baby teeth began to show. He really was a demon, by far the biggest of my spawn by now. In spite of responsibilities that often took me away from me and mine, I was a very proud Papa as well as a Prophet.

“Thank you for the compliments, sir. That’s your firstborn ... and he’s half-demonic, is that right?” Ella Switch sought to clarify things while eating her own food quite hungrily ... well, she had plenty of buns in the oven, even if too young for brain waves or anything.

“Yep, that’s our Cain, right, Evie?” I turned to my demoness bride.

Evie winked, laughed, and swished her tail happily in response. She didn’t bother to hide her true identity as often anymore. It was much easier to just openly present herself as a succubus, especially given that she often got extra attention from potential lovers for it. Plenty of folks lusted to get some pointed tail, after all. She blew me a kiss as she took some lucky lad aside and ravished him out of sight in the nearest bathroom. Yeah, he would be smiling about that memory for years.

“You can take the succubus out of Hell, but you can’t take the Hell slut out of the succubus. He’s gonna remember that, alright, down to the scratches and the most drained feeling in every sense of the term. Trust me, I should know. By the way, we found this lady in Fayette County, trying to get home to her family who are on the wrong side of the enemy lines. The New Army of God are my toughest enemy in the Atlanta metropolitan area, but they are going to collapse and it’s only a matter of months at the most, if that,” Satan introduced a rather attractive blonde MILF, very recognizable as an Irish folk singer.

“It tends to hurt when God isn’t actually on your side,” Sonali quipped.

“What brings you here, though, dude?” I asked the Devil directly.

“She wants to plead with you to resurrect her husband and sister, who both turned up dead in the whole mess. I can’t resurrect them, as I haven’t been given the power to do so, unlike you, the great Prophet. Plus, my troops were the ones who killed them. I warned her that there would be a price to pay, and that she would have to pay off a Prophet.

“Also, I just added Minnie Driver to my harem, which is fine, except that I accidentally attached her to Claudia Schiffer at the taint. It’s weird, but they actually don’t want to be detached now, yet I don’t know how long they can go without injury to both of them. I know how to do it and have the power, but I’m loathe to upset them when they have a point. It is neat and beautiful, just dangerous,” Lucifer rambled now, feeling embarrassed at his dilemma.

“Oh, for Mike’s sake, just find a new place to attach them every time you feel like it. They’ll enjoy it and get used to it. Oh, hello, Lisa ... it’s me, God. I heard an Irish lass was in trouble. Run along, Satan, just remember that I plan to visit you for a wife swap soon. That should be splendid! Anyway, Satan was right. You are going to owe him big time if this happens at his hands. Incidentally, I’m Irish myself. God, the artist formerly known as Richard Harris,” God appeared now, even as Satan vanished and Evie returned with the lucky bastard.

“So, what price?” Lisa interjected now, kneeling with a dejected look on her face.

“They will be chattel to me and can never leave me or regain their freedom. Can you handle those implications? Plus, I’m forbidden to add another man to my company, so Scott would be revived as a futa girl. Can you handle that idea? If you wanted to tag along, you would have to marry me and share me as well as him ... and sleep with your own sister? So, what do you say? Still good with this?” I dared Lisa to accept or reject this scenario.