Chapter 130

1755 hours, local time,
Friday, 25 July, 2014
The Mackey Residence
Beckley, WV

“This supper is pretty damn good, I must confess. Catfish, potatoes au gratin, and turnip greens. Very well done, ma’am,” I praised Wanda Mackey, even as Sardha sat on my lap and made out with me.

“Well, I had plenty of help, no doubt of that,” Wanda pointed to her daughters, Naomi and Ruth, who happened to be her sister-wives as well.

Well, two of her sister-wives. Her other two sister-wives, Vera and Taissa Farmiga-Mackey (they insisted upon the new surname), were a little busy helping administer the new church and assist their husband, the Reverend Luther Mackey, who was also Mayor of Beckley. In fact, there had been an interview in the local TV station, unaffiliated and now operated by the community itself, between the famous sisters, once actresses, and a reporter named Chandra Hatfield (I bit back the urge to ask if they hired any McCoys, of course). That said reporter now sat on Vera’s lap, wearing nothing but her photogenic smile, should indicate to the reader how that discourse went.

“So ... you’re the famous Prophet, Adam Clarke? Pleasure to meet you, naturally. Thank you for allowing such a short-notice, last minute baptism, so I could convert and show up here in the buff. I’m hooked on nudity. I might never wear clothes again, if I can help it,” Chandra told me while her dark brown eyes danced impishly and winked at me.

“Even at work?” I teased her now.

“Especially at work, good sir. Now, about this... ‘Schumacher Syndrome’ business. Do you want to pass it to me now, or wait until after dessert?” Chandra made it clear that she was in earnest.

“Now, of course. Then we can eat dessert without that to worry about now. You’re very direct. I like that. That come from a career in journalism and broadcasting?” I probed deeper, even as Sardha spread Chandra’s cheeks and started rimming her in front of me.

“Looks like I get two desserts tonight, babe,” Sardha observed, even as I began humping Chandra from behind.

“So do I ... and yes, it does. That and my mother is Israeli. She served in the IDF. I spent a term in the Army myself. Interpreter in Hebrew, Arabic, and Aramaic. Yes, I’m Jewish. I can still be Jewish and a Havenite, right, if even the Lawgiver is? That’s what I heard. That the Lawgiver himself is a Jew. Well, on his mother’s side, just like me,” Chandra concluded.

“Yes, you can be both. And yes, the Lawgiver, Mark Schumacher, is Jewish on his human side. His father, of course, is the Archangel Gabriel. That’s how he gets to be a Prophet as well as the Lawgiver. I’m a bit of a goy myself, but my father is the Archangel Raphael. Hence my own status and role as a Prophet of Heaven, commissioned to ordain, to appoint, to baptize, to consecrate, to preach, to teach, to organize, and to officiate. I have come here to tarry in Beckley for a week, to establish a new church and congregation for this community, and to help you get started on the road back to a harmonious society,” I explained while admiring Chandra’s lovely tan lines on her bare bottom.