Chapter 21

Alex stood up as David entered.

“David, this has gone on long enough,” he said quietly. “I’ve got an almost suicidal woman at my flat, utterly depressed. She won’t move out of her bedroom, won’t eat. We need to get this sorted out.”

“You’re saying that I’m to blame?” David retorted hotly. “She’s not said a civil word to me for weeks, she’s gone about maligning me to our friends, the atmosphere here has been forbidding, and before long it’ll affect the children.

“I told Sally, my children come first. If Celia’s going to shack up with you permanently, as it seems she already has, sooner or later she’ll be leaving us. So I find you two creeping around secretly insulting and pointless. I thought we were friends – why do the pair of you need to lie?

“I need to plan for my children’s welfare and I don’t know where I stand with her. Any approach to her asking what she’s doing has been met with a shouting match and ‘mind your own business’. You’ve been avoiding me, which I don’t understand either.”

“Ok,” Alex said. “There are a hell of a lot of misunderstandings here, and I admit, some of it is my fault. I’d really like it if we could get things sorted out now.”

David was at a loss. Alex seemed so calm and David could see no sign of guilt. So many conflicting thoughts and emotions coursed through him so rapidly that he was paralysed for a while. Alex waited patiently. At last David shook himself and spoke.

“It’s taken you long enough,” he said. “Celia’s left me in an awkward situation, just not turning up. Are you now coming to tell me she’s decided to leave me in the lurch and shack up with you? You two are getting together, I presume?”

“No David, you’ve got it wrong–”

“Come off it, Alex, You two are an item now, admit it. The pair of you’ve been creeping around keeping it from me. My best friend suddenly starts avoiding me, lying to me. Why, Alex?

“When were you going to tell me she was leaving? She’s supposed to give me notice; I’ve got to find childcare for my children. God knows what I’d have done if Siân hadn’t been able to come at a moment’s notice when you rang her. Celia’s not coming back, is she?”

“Why don’t we sit down, David, and let me tell you everything. It’s not as straightforward as you believe at the moment, and there are aspects that you haven’t understood at all, at least that’s what I think.”

David moved to his chair and sat down. “Ok, Tell me how it isn’t so obvious as I think it is,” he said, his voice dripping resigned sarcasm. He could see Alex bridle at this, and then subside.

“The first thing you need to understand is that Celia and I are not an item–”

“Bullshit! You don’t know this but Siân and I saw you–”

“Yes, yes, New Year’s Eve. For pity’s sake David let me speak!”

David sagged resignedly. “Ok, Explain how me seeing her taking off her clothes in your bedroom shows you’re not an item, not more than platonic friends.”

Alex smiled at that. “Really David, we’ve been mates for how long? How many women d’you think have taken their clothes off in my bedroom? None of them were permanent!”

David felt he was losing the thread of the conversation, and remembering Alex’s exploits, couldn’t help a brief smile. “Ok, ok. So you’re saying you were just shagging her. But this wasn’t a one night stand, or a weekend fling, or a New Year’s frolic, was it? You’ve been fucking her on and off for months, perhaps years. Go on Alex – deny it!”

Alex smiled again. David noted it was not a smug smile – as if to say ‘I’m the greatest lover’ – but a gentle tolerant smile; the smile of someone who knows what you think and knows you’re wrong, because he has information you know not of. David sighed, mildly frustrated at what he saw as prevarication, and made a limp gesture for Alex to continue.

“Actually I wasn’t ‘just shagging her’, but neither are we an item. There’s a lot more to this than you think, so sit back and let Uncle Alex tell you all about it.” Now there was on Alex’s face his impish grin.

David laughed, he couldn’t help it. While he was still disappointed in Alex, and was unhappy at what he perceived his friend to have done, he knew he couldn’t be angry with him for long, no matter what he did; his best friend had always wanted the best for him in the past. “Go on!” he said. “I’m all ears.”

“You remember when we first met Celia and Gwen? Don’t answer, I know you do. You also remember and I’m sure Gwen told you, Gwen fancied me and Celia was good enough to switch with her so Gwen and I could get together.”

“Actually I think it was Celia who told me that, but that’s right, you–”

“Sorry, David,” Alex said gently. “In truth it was actually the other way round. Celia had been watching the two of you laughing and joking and you were making Gwen so happy, that Celia really fancied you. Yes, I know I’m supposed to be the babe magnet, the devilishly handsome one, but when it comes to entertaining, funnies, engaging conversation, and yes, real genuine affection, you beat me hands down.

“So it was actually Gwen who was good enough to swap to let Celia have you, and it became clear to me quite quickly that for Gwen that was a big sacrifice, and while everyone thought I finished with Gwen after a few weeks, she gently told me there was no real spark between us. I knew then that Gwen’s spark had been with you, but by now you were out of her reach. You were with Celia.”

“Oh God!” David blasphemed. “Six years of Celia and me as an item, and Gwen had to stand by and watch it. She was so good when Celia went off with Gary. She wouldn’t make a move on me, you know.”

“Yes, you’re right, she wouldn’t ever stand between you and Celia until it was definitely all over. Gwen was ecstatic when you started taking her out. You were perfection in her eyes. Her life might have been short, but believe me she was deliriously happy and thoroughly content. You lit up her world.”

David was silent for a moment or two as he assimilated what Alex had said, and the memories of his blissful life with Gwen flooded his mind and he felt again the pang of loss, but supplanting that, deep gratitude for his wife’s selfless behaviour, and happiness that he had made her life so perfect. Then he sat up.

“But I don’t see what this has to do with what’s happened.”

“You will. If I could continue?”

David nodded, his interest now piqued. Alex continued.

“Gwen was always much more mature than Celia, and fact all through those six years Celia had the maturity of a silly teenager.”

“Gwen said as much when Celia left me.”

“In fact Gwen always looked after Celia and for the most part kept her on the straight and narrow. Until Gary turned up. Even then–”

“She had dinner with Celia and told her what a fool she was.”

“Oh, Gwen told you that. Yes. Well, Celia had her little brainstorm. You don’t know this, but while she was with the footballer for some months, she knew she’d cocked up her life after about three weeks! She knew you wouldn’t have her back – the way you threw her out even before she’d fucked the man showed her that.

“She grew up very quickly. She realised what she’d lost in you, and David, this is important, she’s never got over you, never stopped longing for you.”

David snorted. “Come off it Alex, she went back to clubbing. Gwen went with her; I remember she came home alone regularly when Celia went off with some bloke.”

“Yes, you’re right, though it wasn’t that often. At least you’re right about what it was like at first. She was looking to find someone like you and she failed every time. Eventually she gave up.

“Your wedding really crucified her, she kept control with you and Gwen, then rushed off in floods of tears. I know, because if you remember, Gwen got me to be Celia’s partner for the wedding: she was worried about her. Celia and I did share a room at the hotel, and she really needed me that evening for comfort – not for sex; just a shoulder to cry on.”

Siân came in at that moment with mugs of tea, then retired, smiling at their thanks. David looked expectantly at Alex, now hooked on the story.

“You wouldn’t have known any difference, but after you were engaged and Gwen moved in with you, Celia’s outings with Gwen were different. They’d go to pubs, her flat or to my place and sit and talk, or play cards.

“Evan’s birth brought another change: Celia would visit your place during the day; she organised working on Saturdays to have a weekday off. She fell in love with Evan of course.

“Again, what you wouldn’t know because Celia never let on to Gwen, was that now Celia had become quite a recluse. She would go to work and then spend each night in her flat. Our friends worried about her, and alerted me, so I would go round there of an evening. She was very depressed, and sometimes she’d ask me to stay over.”

David smiled, thinking that was the beginning of their relationship.

“No, David. Most times she just wanted to be held. She wanted comfort of a friendly body with her. She used to say she never slept well when she was on her own. All right, on rare occasions she would want to make love, but always gently and softly. She needed the comfort of it. We talked a lot, and that’s when she confessed that she couldn’t seem to get over you.

“She’d talk most times and it was always about you, how wonderful you’d been when you were together, how happy she’d been, how stupid she was to throw it away. She’d talk of her envy of Gwen, knowing first hand what Gwen was experiencing with you, and having the love of a son, which she believed she would never know herself.”

David was shocked. “I never knew ... Never suspected ... Truthfully I never gave her much thought. How sad!”

“Wait,” Alex said. “Worse to come. She was destroyed when Gwen passed. Absolutely destroyed. She longed to go to you, to help you with the children, but of course she couldn’t. She knew your attitude to her from Gwen – you know, having to avoid you, visiting when you were not there because you wouldn’t meet her.”