Chapter 10

Next morning, Friday, the sun was streaming through the bedroom window, lighting the curtains, when David came to consciousness. He glanced at the alarm clock and sat up with a start. Eleven thirty! The children!

He leapt out of bed and grabbed his dressing gown, throwing it over his body as he ran to Evan’s room. It was empty. Then to Beth’s. Empty again. Then he heard Evan’s voice, obviously playing with a toy. He went downstairs.

It took seconds between his leap from bed to his reaching the bottom of the stairs, and it was only then that he remembered Celia’s visit the previous night and her taking control. He walked into the living room. Evan looked up.

“Daddy!” he shouted, “Aun’ Ceela here!”

His little face was wreathed in smiles, and David fleetingly thought he had not seen him smile like that since before...

“You glad she’s here, eh?” he said, tousling the young one’s hair.

Evan nodded, “Ceela plays with me.”

David went to the kitchen, to find Celia feeding Beth at the kitchen table. The child lay nestled in Celia’s arms against her breast as Beth sucked vigorously on the bottle’s teat. The scene was beautiful, so natural and serene, that the normal emotions of possessiveness and resentment at another’s caring for his baby simply did not arise. It just seemed so right somehow.

He stood in the doorway at a loss, for a moment.

Celia looked up at him and smiled.

“Feel better?” she asked.

He nodded.

“Yes,” he said, “I haven’t slept for so long or so deeply for months. I feel much better.”

“Good,” she smiled at him again, and turned to coo at the baby. Then she returned her gaze to him.

“Evan had his breakfast, and finished it like a good boy.”

“He seems very happy to see you.”

“And I’m happy to be with him as well,” she said. “Does he come to your bed every night?”

“Yes,” David answered. “He used to wet his bed soon after ... you know. When he came to mine the wetting stopped, so I let him carry on.”

She nodded, in approval he thought.

“Can you get yourself some breakfast?” she asked. “I’m a bit busy at the moment.”

“I think I’ll wait for lunch, it’s so late,” he replied. “Have you eaten?”

“I had breakfast with Evan,” she said as she put Beth over her napkin-covered shoulder and patted her back to burp her.

After a number of brief but conclusive eruptions, Bethan’s eyes closed and she slept that easy sleep of the infant on Celia’s shoulder, who put her in her pram in the hallway with all the loving care of a mother. David felt a warmth for this woman who had come decisively into his life and had obstinately refused to leave him.

Then he felt immediate guilt that another woman, not their mother, was seeing to her needs, and perhaps winning her love away from Gwen. At some level he knew it was irrational; the baby would have no memory of her mother at all, but the emotion aroused by his own commitment to Gwen was stronger.

In the afternoon, David put Evan down for his afternoon nap, and then returned to the living room, where Celia awaited him. She seemed to know that he would want to talk to her and he reminded himself that she knew him as well as anyone, even Gwen.

Now there was the powerful urge to get back to his life with the children; letting another woman near his children was a betrayal of his loving promise to Gwen.

“Thanks very much for your help last night and today,” he said. “I can manage now. You’ll want to get on your way.”

There was a silence and Celia frowned. Then she spoke.

“No.”

“Sorry?”

“I said ‘No’. I’m not leaving.”

“But I can manage now you’ve given me the night off. I’ve managed since ... and I can manage again.”

“David,” she said, leaning over from the sofa and taking his hand in hers. “Listen to me. You weren’t managing when I arrived, were you? And you’ll soon be back in that state again in no time without help. You made a promise to Gwen, didn’t you, that you would look after your children?”

Her statement arrested him and came like a blow, though it was said with great gentleness. How did she know that? He nodded, but didn’t take his hand away from hers: there was comfort in it.

“Everyone admires how you’ve devoted yourself to Evan and Beth. They admire how good you are with them. You do want what is best for them, don’t you?”

He felt irked that she should question his commitment, but he nodded again and made as if to speak. She had not finished.

“Look,” she went on before he could intervene – she was good at that, he remembered. “In our time together you were always full of common sense, you could always read situations: you’re very sensitive. Look how you set me up when I was seeing Gary. I’m asking you to use that sense now.

“You were very tired last night. Let me repeat some of what I said: you may not have heard it properly. You will have to go back to work soon; neither you nor the children can live on air. You need a nanny for them. Is it not better for Evan to have someone he knows and loves looking after him? You’ve seen I can look after Beth as well as anyone. You and I had six years together; we know each other well and we can work together.

“I’ve left my job to do this for Gwen, not just for you and the children, but for Gwen. I resigned from my job to blackmail you into hiring me. Are you going to throw it in my face and tell me to get lost? You can’t lose by giving me a trial. Think about it: with me around you can spend more time just enjoying playing with your children – you won’t be always having to do all the housekeeping jobs.”

“You left your job to do this for Gwen?” David showed his lack of belief in her words with a certain amount of scorn. He was suddenly aware of what he thought was happening. She was trying to get back with him after her failure with Gary. She actually thought her devastating good looks would eventually ensnare him. He resented her arrogance.

“How do you explain doing it for Gwen? What’s your real reason for coming here Celia?”

“I told you last night,” she said patiently. “Gwen and I talked about all sorts of things, and she asked me to look after you and the children if anything happened to her. Neither of us believed anything would happen; perhaps she was just saying that, the fact remains she did say it. Personally, I think she meant it, ‘cos she said she was going to talk to you about having me as godmother to the children. Ask Alex, she told him as well.”

“So after this wonderful promise you made, you waited three months to get here?” David said petulantly.

“You might have been here all on your own,” Celia retorted hotly, “but I’ve been keeping up with our friends, especially Alex. You know you’ve alienated most of them by your attitude – your selfish attitude – when it comes to the children?

“Why do you think none of them visit any more? Alex has been faithful, but he’s been putting me off coming until you seemed able to see reason about getting someone to look after the children while you’re at work. As soon as he got that promise from you, he told me the time was right. Does that answer your question?”

“I think you have another motive for coming back,” he asserted, “Gary’s dumped you so you’re thinking of getting back to your second best lover.”

Celia laughed out loud. He could see she wasn’t putting it on; she genuinely thought it ridiculous.

“David, my darling,” she said, rather patronisingly he thought, when she had recovered. “It’s been years since Gary left me. I’ve been living very well on my own. You and I were young and probably got together too early. I’m not saying that if you wanted to date me again I would dismiss the idea, but I’m not looking for anything like that from you.”

She drew breath with a shake of her head and smiled affectionately at him before continuing.

“Sweetheart, when we were together we got on very well until I had the Gary brainstorm. We found living together very easy. We can have that comfortable existence again now. I know how you think, what you like and don’t like. We fit.

“I’ll make you this promise. I will never make any move towards you beyond friendship. I’m here for the children primarily. If you ever want more from me, you’ll have to make the first move and take your chances. I don’t need you anymore, David, but I do feel I owe you for all those years I threw away, and yes, I love you, as a friend. Understand?”

“You really mean you want me to employ you?” David could not hide his scepticism.

“Exactly that. Board and lodging and a salary; I want nice clothes and other things and I have a car and a flat to run. I want a day off or two evenings each week, and the odd weekend, thirty working days holiday with pay, plus extra days in lieu of public holidays when I can’t take them on the day.

“I look after the children with you, not instead of you, I do all the housekeeping except where you want to help. I’ll need a housekeeping allowance and an account to put it in. I’ll provide full accounts of what I spend. Anything else you can think of?”

David felt that things were running away from him again. Again he felt torn between keeping his children to himself, and the relief that someone else would take the strain, someone whom he realised was more than competent and in whom he could put his trust. It helped that Evan obviously loved her and was delighted she was there.

“So, we give it a trial and see how we go?” he said at length. It was really more a statement than a question.

She breathed a sigh of relief.

“Yes, of course.”

Then she added “Give it four weeks, two before you go back to work and two after.”

“It will be a wrench going to work and leaving them,” he said wistfully.

“You did it when Evan was a baby,” she answered gently, “and yes, I know it was different then, but I bet you played with him when you got home, while Gwen made the dinner. You’ll be able to do that again.”