Chapter 6: The Government and NYC

After dinner Linda went up to her room and turned on the evening news. She watched with interest a developing national story about Medicaid corruption.

“An FBI agent was found dead in a park located in Cauthen, Virginia two days ago. The FBI and police are calling this a potential murder investigation. An FBI spokesman reported the agent was investigating a Medicaid fraud ring centered in Cauthen. The alleged ringleader was a prominent attorney named J. Robert Perkins. Doctor Firestone, another prominent Cauthen citizen was also being investigated. This story came to national attention when both Perkins and Firestone were found dead of apparent natural causes. It has been estimated that the fraud ring bilked Medicaid out of a hundred million dollars for fraudulent medical procedures. Police and FBI are currently looking for Jeff Hendricks, a DC resident, as a person of interest in the case. If you have any information about his whereabouts, you are requested to contact the Washington branch of the FBI.”

Hey, we made the national news, whispered Mouse.

Linda silently said, They got just what they deserved.

Amen, whispered Ret.

Linda clicked the TV off, turned off the bedside lamp and went to sleep.

The room phone rang three times then a recorded voice said, “This is your 7:30 wake-up call.”

Linda did not want to wake up this morning. She snuggled down into the pillow and decided she could rest just ‘a few more minutes’.

Wake up dummy! We have a ton of visiting to do today! yelled Mouse.

Grumbling to herself, Linda climbed out of bed and stretched as she walked into the luxurious bathroom.

Mouse whispered, This bathroom is nice, but far from luxurious.

Better than anything we’re used to, replied Linda.

Remember that one foster house where the toilet flusher broke, and we had to use a bucket of water to flush with?

Oh, God. Don’t remind me. We got the blame for breaking the toilet too, even though it was one of those two little kids they had, Linda remembered.

After her morning wake-up routine Linda donned her new flowered summer dress for the first time. She brushed her hair dry, applied some light makeup and she was ready for breakfast.

Downstairs she saw the hotel had a free snack bar set up for breakfast and served herself coffee and a doughnut.

Okay gang, let’s review our goals for today, Linda whispered.

Kill everyone in the White House and at least ninety percent of the Congress, Mouse giggled.

Sounds great Mouse but that’s not helping, whispered Ret.

Ret, when we get to the White House I want an intel brief on the President and any of his closest advisers. Let’s not overdo things here. If someone is really bad, then we take steps to eliminate. I’ll use a slow natural burn to finish him so no one points the finger at us, said Linda.

Or her, added Mouse. Could be a girl, too.

Right. Girls work there too, like that press secretary type and the older blonde lady adviser, whispered Ret.

Yeah, if they’re around check them out. Also his immediate family. I do like his daughter, though. She seems pretty nice, Linda said.

Okay, I’ve got my orders Commander Sir! Ret giggled.

What about me? asked Mouse.

Lots of surveillance cameras, I’m sure, so just keep us unnoticed by people. Not invisible. Be ready to ‘fog’ us out of there if everything goes to shit, replied Linda.

An overhead speaker announced, “The White House tour bus is now boarding at the West entrance. If you have tickets for the tour, please board the bus now.”

Showtime! whispered Mouse.

You really love to say that, don’t you? asked Ret.

Mouse just giggled.

Linda showed her ticket and boarded the bus. She couldn’t help but feel a little thrill. She was going to visit the White House. All the history of the various Presidents who had lived there gave her goose-bumps.

The ride was pretty uneventful, but when they arrived at the gate to the White House a man boarded and walked up and down the aisle, checking everyone out. Linda assumed he was a Secret Service Agent or something. Another guy in a White House police uniform, was using a mirror on a pole to look under the bus, while yet another guy looked through the baggage storage bins.

Everything must have checked out, because they were allowed to proceed. After parking the bus in a designated visitors area a guide from the White House joined the party and started droning on about what all they could and could not do inside. Basically, no touching, no stealing, no coughing, no sneezing, no screaming fits at the President, (he didn’t mention screaming fits at other people though, hmm!) and writing graffiti on the walls was definitely forbidden.

Mouse giggled at the idea of having a screaming fit inside the White House.

Linda whispered, Behave now, Mouse. This is serious and we’re hanging out in dangerous territory.

Ret giggled, too.

Linda only half-paid attention to the tour guide. She wanted to hear what Ret had to say.

Ret moaned, The sheer level of corruption and hunger for power is overwhelming in here. Everyone is guilty of something. It’s even worse than outside. Wait, I’ve got a lock on the President himself. Give me a minute.

Okay, okay, I think I have the basics on the Prez.

Give it to me, girl.

He isn’t here. Dammit! That was some clown sitting in his chair in the oval office pretending to be the President. The entire family left this morning for an early weekend at Camp David.

Linda whispered, Good. I really didn’t want to think about needing to off the President. Anyone else of significance?

Just from reading the staff on hand, his family seems okay too, but damn those self-important egos! Everyone here seems to think of themselves as royalty. From what I can gather though, just like you said, staff thinks the daughter is the best of the bunch. They think something is off with her husband, but I can’t pin down exactly what.

Wait, that guy! The one over there in the slightly rumpled pin-stripe suit. Kill him! He’s the biggest racist bigot I’ve ever seen. He’s fairly close to the President, so don’t make the kill obvious. Maybe another stroke. Seems like he’s under a lot of stress here, so a stroke should work. The guy’s really worried about keeping his job. Everyone is. Things are pretty tense in here.

Linda agreed. She shaved six different blood vessels in his head, close to the snapping point. There, that should take care of him. I never liked the way he looked on TV anyways.

What about the rest of them? Mouse asked.

Ugh! Get me out of here! I can’t stand being this close anymore, Ret moaned.

Linda pretended to be sick. She didn’t have to pretend very much. An intern ushered her into a restroom where she splashed cold water on her face.

“You do look a bit pale,” said the aide.

“Can I go back to the bus, and just wait there for the tour to end?”

“Of course. This happens all the time. People get too caught up in all the glamour of being in the White House and all. We’re used to it.”

The intern escorted Linda back to the bus. She sat back in her seat, reclined and closed her eyes.

Think calm thoughts, think calm thoughts, Linda repeated over and over.

Linda must have taken a short nap. It only seemed like a few minutes before the tour party returned, and the tour bus headed back to the hotel.

At the hotel Linda only picked at her lunch. She ordered the salad, but really didn’t have much of an appetite.

Should we just cancel the tour of Congress, and go home? asked Mouse.

That depends mostly on Ret, Linda whispered.

I should be okay by the time we arrive. I just couldn’t handle it anymore at the White House, Ret replied.

It’s okay, Ret. If it gets too bad just holler. We’ll get you out of Congress too, Mouse added.

It would be okay, but I’m getting stronger and stronger. I can get a lot deeper into minds now than ever before, Ret told the girls. So, what’s our plan for Congress? And don’t tell me we kill ninety percent of Congress either, Ret said.

I want to hit at least two or three people in each category. No more than that, Linda said.

Alrighty then, what are the categories? asked Ret.

Don’t limit these to just Senators and Representatives. Anyone in the US Congress buildings we visit today is a potential target. Lobbyists, staffers, reporters, even other visitors like us, Linda said.

Gotcha, Ret answered. Just let me get a pen and paper and write down these categories. Mentally of course, she snickered.

Since it’s Congress the first category would be, who’s involved in the most graft; that is, stealing from the American people. Second, pedophiles, like the guy who tried to kidnap Jackie. Third, rapists. Especially if someone is using their position to abuse the pages or the summer interns, because of our own history in foster care. Fourth, anyone involved in blackmailing Representatives of our Congress. Fifth, I guess would be murderers. I don’t know if we will find an actual killer in there, but if someone ordered innocent people killed, then yes, we take him down.

That’s potentially a lot of people. Fifteen if we do three of each category, Mouse pointed out.

One more category too. Ret, if someone is trying to buy the government through bribery or whatever, I want them dead!

By whatever, do you mean sex or something like we saw last night with the Russian and the whore? asked Ret.

Yeah, I guess so but that’s sort of combining blackmail and bribery. I guess those are the same thing so scratch number six.

That’s still fifteen people, pointed out Mouse.

True. Okay, make it two of each category, unless it’s really bad, Linda said.

Can do, boss!

What are we going to kill them with? Mouse asked.

I think we should go with slow deaths that stretch out over time, to keep down the witch hunt so no one figures out all these deaths are connected, Ret said.

We’re in agreement then. Ten or twelve maximum from strokes, heart attacks, and sepsis, Linda said.

Can’t we destroy at least one kidney or liver? asked Mouse.

No! Linda and Ret both said together, then all three giggled.

“Everyone with tickets for the tour of the Halls of Congress please meet at the Hotel’s West exit. The bus is now loading,” the hotel public address system announced.

Mount up! Mouse said.

That’s better than ‘showtime,’ laughed Ret.

On the ride over to Congress Ret told Linda, We have a serial pedophile on the bus.

Who is it? Linda asked.

Third row of seats from the front. The guy with the funny white hat on, Ret responded.

Got him, Linda said. Let’s do some surgery on this guy. She made some improvements to the artery in his leg. Too much stress on the leg, and he would bleed to death, internally. The damage was in too many locations for a quick medical procedure to save him. The only way he could live would be complete removal of his leg before he could die. Just to be sure, Linda nicked his colon too. Let’s add a touch of sepsis.

One down, Mouse squeaked.

Really Mouse? A squeak? laughed Ret.

Mouse blushed.

The bus parked a block away from the Congressional Building and the tour group walked over. They did have to pass through a metal detector, and their possessions were searched. A big sign near the entrance informed everyone that taking a bomb into a federal building was considered a federal offense. What a shock!

“We’re in luck,” the tour guide said. “There is a joint session of Congress going on right now to discuss tax reform and we can get seats in the balcony. Follow me.”

Perfect, said Ret. Everyone in one place but it’s large enough and we are far enough away, I think we can cope here. Lot’s of potential. Let me concentrate now.

That guy on the far right side, the one with the gray suit on and the dark wavy hair?

Yes, I see him, Linda whispered.

Mouse said indignantly.

Oh My God! You stay up late to watch that stuff? Linda laughed.

I’m the one paying attention to our physical surroundings all the time, remember! I see stuff, Mouse whispered, a bit indignantly.

Let’s embarrass him a bit first, then set him up for a slow, painful death, Linda said.

The Honorable Representative stood up and quickly left the floor of the House.

Linda laughed out loud.

You are evil. I love it! Make him shit his pants, then give him holes in his intestines to flood his insides.

Sepsis is a slow, painful way to die. At least heart attacks and strokes are fast, even if they hurt, whispered Ret.

whispered Linda.

Guy up here with us. He has been hired to kill someone in this room. He’s an assassin for hire. Not a vigilante. Over to our left. Button-down light blue shirt, slacks. Nondescript. Maybe he has his own Mouse.

Nobody is as good a Mouse as me!

She was just teasing Mouse. We both know you’re the best ever, soothed Linda.

He’ll have a major stroke, very soon, whispered Linda.

By my count, all we have left is one rapist and one blackmailer / briber, added Ret.