Chapter 14: Angel of Los Angeles

It was evening the day after Christmas when Linda arrived in Los Angeles. Since she was flying in from Honolulu, she could bypass customs and walk straight to baggage claim. Linda was surprised to find a guy waiting for her with a sign saying ‘Linda Spencer’ on it. When she checked with him, he handed her a note from Joyce, ‘Enjoy the limo.’

The driver collected her luggage and escorted Linda out to a black limousine. He drove her to the Charleston Hotel, and opened the door for her then handed off her luggage to the bell cap.

“Ms. Spencer, here’s my card. The limo is at your service for your entire stay here in Los Angeles.”

“But I already have a Nissan Rogue in storage.”

“Your manager, Mrs. Armistead, asked me to tell you it will be more expensive to take the Rogue out of storage for a few days and then put it back in, than to just use the limo service. The choice is yours, however.”

Linda smiled at the driver and handed him a twenty dollar tip. “I won’t be needing you any more tonight. We have some meetings scheduled for nine in the morning. If you could be here around eight or so to drive me to Mrs. Armistead’s office, I would love that. I don’t even know where to find it.”

“If the meeting is at nine, better plan on leaving at seven thirty. You’re not used to rush hour traffic in LA.”

“Seven thirty it is then. What’s your name?”

“My name is Boris. I already have your cell phone number, courtesy of Joyce. I’ll call you with a reminder at seven tomorrow.”

As she walked into the lobby of the hotel, a woman walked up to her with a microphone in her hand, a cameraman following her. “Linda Spencer? I’m Terri Moyer from the local CBC television affiliate. Do you have any reply to yesterday’s article in the National Rag?”

“Isn’t that the same paper that claimed I was Tiger Woods’ illegitimate daughter?”

Terri smiled at her, “That’s the one.”

“What are they claiming this time?”

“The article says it’s physically impossible, according to some obscure scientist, for any ‘mere woman’ to hit a golf ball three hundred yards. In the story, he claims you’re a cyborg.”

Tink whispered, What’s a cyborg?

Half human, half machine, Ret answered.

“Well, he’s right.” Linda flashed her braces-covered teeth in a smile at the reporter. “At least until I can get these braces removed.”

Terri laughed and motioned the cameraman to shut down. “Seriously, off the record and on a personal note, I just wanted to tell you that a lot of women here in the good ole USA are looking at you as a role model. Other countries too, I’ve heard. The list of your fans includes me, and I want an autograph.”

“Got a business card? I’ll have my PA send you a signed eight by ten.”

“Here’s my card. That’s just awesome. I’m such a big fan of yours!”

Good thing Linda’s head keeps getting bigger with so many of us in here, Ret giggled.

I know right? We need more room to move around, Tink laughed.

Mouse said, I want my own bedroom!

Linda walked over to the front desk and checked in. She got her key card and a special card to access the penthouse elevator. She told the desk clerk to set her up for a six o’clock wake up call in the morning.

Upstairs in her room, Linda collapsed. It was an incredibly plush room, but tonight Linda was too tired to appreciate it. The trip through Children’s Hospital in Honolulu left her drained, and she’d been unable to sleep on the plane. She dragged herself into the shower and had a quick rinse, dried off and hopped into bed.

Six in the morning arrived too soon. The lady’s voice on the wake-up robo-call was too chipper for that early in the day. Linda decided she should suggest they start using a mom’s wake-up-for-school voice, instead. That way people could go back to sleep for an extra fifteen minutes.

When Boris called at seven, Linda was already downstairs eating a breakfast sandwich and drinking her sweet coffee.

“Hello, Boris. I’m up and standing inside the lobby, juggling coffee and a sandwich.”

“Great! I’m right outside and we need to head off. Traffic is worse than usual today. We have to navigate past some accidents already on our route. That always slows traffic down as people tend to gawk and look for blood.”

Linda got into the front seat of the limo, sitting with Boris, despite his protestations. She didn’t like riding in the back like some movie star, and besides this way she could chat a bit with Boris as they rode along.

“We’re going North on Pacific to Santa Monica and hook-up with Interstate Ten going eastbound to downtown LA. We’ll get off Ten just before Interstate Five. Cindy’s office is within a few blocks that way, and we’ll miss a couple of accidents.”

She sat and watched the scenery of a huge city. Boring. Ret was busy searching for potential new local targets. Linda asked Tink if there was anything she could do with the LA smog. Tink ignored her. Traffic moved along, slowly but steadily until shortly before they reached Boris’ planned exit. At that point there was a shockingly loud sound of screeching tires and rending metal. Several cars going the opposite direction on the interstate decided to see just how many of them could occupy the same space at the same time. Turned out to be a very bad idea.

Boris was forced to come to a complete stop as the cars in front of him slowed and stopped to stare at the carnage. With the East Bound traffic at a standstill, Boris was on the phone talking to Cindy, letting her know they would be a bit late. Linda opened her door and stepped outside.

Everyone up! Ret, see who is in the most distress. Tink, be ready to discreetly dissolve car parts if anyone is trapped, Linda passed out assignments.

Looks like we have five cars involved, Ret told them. The silver Mercedes has an unconscious guy in the driver’s seat. The woman in the red Ford is dead. Woman and child in a baby seat are stuck in that Hyundai sedan and she can smell gasoline. Two people in the Dodge pickup, minor injuries. The guy in the white Accord caused the accident and he’s getting ready to rabbit.

Tink, splash those tires on the Accord, Linda told her.

Tink whispered, Done! He isn’t driving anywhere with four flat tires, and I jammed all four doors closed so he can’t run.

The situation got even worse then. The gasoline around the Hyundai went up with a whooshing sound. The woman and child inside the car began screaming for help. The Latino man in the Dodge tried to get close to help, but the fire was in his way.

Ret screamed, We have to do something! They’re gonna burn to death in there!

This will not happen! Linda shouted. I refuse to let them burn. Tink! Dissolve that fire!

Fire? But, I can’t dissolve fire, Tink was almost crying.

Tinker Bell, don’t think about it. Just do it. I know you can! I have complete faith in you. Just dissolve the connections like you always do, Linda calmly told her.

Tink concentrated and slowly but steadily, the fire was extinguished. Linda continued to watch for flare-ups or any other problems the victims might have, but it looked as if the danger was past. Now, they just had to wait for the emergency vehicles and police to arrive on site.

All the girls were heaping praise on Tink, who just glowed. Imagine that, Tink whispered. I can even dissolve fire! I don’t have any idea how I just did that, so don’t bother to ask. Linda told me I could, so I did!

Tinker Bell, that was simply amazing! Ret gushed.

I still can’t believe it! We all saw it and I’m stunned, added Mouse.

Everyone called me ‘Tinker Bell,’ Tink mumbled.

It was appropriate, don’t you think? Linda answered her. We’re all so proud of you!

With the excitement over Boris wanted to leave, but Linda refused to go until a fire department EMT truck showed up along with a State Patrol car. Boris had to pull the limo to the side of the road to let the East bound traffic pass. After help arrived, Linda got back in the car and Boris drove them to the meeting at Cindy’s.

Linda was impressed with Cindy’s office. There was a nicely furnished reception area, complete with a wannabe movie-star receptionist. Fake blonde, pneumatic boobs, and too much make-up. Body sculpting by scalpel. She greeted Linda pleasantly enough though.

“You must be Linda,” she said when Linda walked in. “I’ve seen your fan photos. You look great. Everyone is waiting for you in the conference room. Please just follow me.”

Linda walked into Cindy’s conference room. The large oval table had seating for twelve with seven of the seats already taken. Cindy sat at the head of the table, and motioned for Linda to sit opposite her at the other end.

She recognized Cindy, Fred, and Joyce but not the other four people. Ret, give me a rundown on these four strangers, Linda requested.

“Linda, Boris told me about the traffic problems. LA can be gruesome. However, we have a meeting to get through, so let me introduce part of your new team. Richard Head is leading your legal representatives and Terrence is going to be your personal liaison.” Cindy pointed out a balding older gentleman who nodded at her when she said ‘Richard’ and a late twenties black guy who apparently answered to Terrence.

“Jerry Sanders is going to handle accounting and taxes for us. He has a long history of working with wealthy athletes and their staff,” Cindy pointed at a very non-accountant looking guy, mid-thirties who looked like an athlete himself.

“Finally, I would like you to seriously consider adding Pamela Johnson and her team at ‘Wishes and Dreams’ to our staff. She is a well-renowned publicist here in LA and we’re lucky to have her join us. All of this of course, is subject to your approval,” added Cindy.

The three men and Pamela all stood and shook hands with Linda, one by one, murmuring polite how-do-you-do’s.

Ret whispered, The old guy is a partner in the law firm. He plans to retire in a couple years and is bored. Terrence is a pussy hound and is already measuring us for a notch on his bed-post. He considers himself God’s gift to white women. He’s well endowed so maybe he’s right. They use him to keep female clients from leaving the firm. He loves his job. Pamela is for real. She adores her work and thinks we’ll be a great boon to her agency and reputation. The accountant is a work-aholic and exercise freak. Good at his job though, and dedicated. His wife is cheating on him and he knows, but has no idea what to do about it. Oh, and Pamela is bisexual, just FYI. She thinks we have possibilities, other than just career-wise.

What’s well endowed mean? Tink asked.

He has a big dick, whispered Mouse.

Oh. Ohhhh! Little Tink blushed.

“Joyce?” Cindy said.

“I have your schedule for the next couple...” Joyce started to say.

Mr. Head interrupted her and directed his comments to Cindy, “Since Miss Spencer decided to arrive late, I’m behind schedule for another meeting, so I’m going to jump in here and get my agenda done and then I’ll have to leave. Here is the list of things Miss Spencer is allowed to do, and here is the list of everything she isn’t allowed to do. You’ll notice the disallowed list is much larger than the allowed list. Now, goodbye everyone, I have to run along to another meeting. Terrence can cover for me if there are any questions.”

A look of complete disbelief at how rude the lawyer was appeared on everyone’s face except Linda’s. Her face was a stone mask. “Richard Head, sorry I should address you by the name your associates use, Dick Head, just to be polite. Sir, I am the client here, not Mrs. Armistead. You and your firm are fired. Take your lists and pack up. Your presence here is no longer required.”

Mr. Head smiled and turned to look at Cindy, “Tell her she can’t fire me, Cindy. We have an agreement, you and I.”

Cindy looked at Dick Head, then looked at Linda. “You pompous ass. Linda fired you! She’s the boss, here. Now, get out of my office,” Cindy told him in no uncertain terms.

“I’ll sue for breach of contract.” He threatened her.

“You really want us to call you ‘Little Dick Head’ in front of a courtroom full of your colleagues and reporters?” Cindy smirked.

Dick stood up and snapped his briefcase closed. He stormed out of the room with Terrence the gigolo lawyer in his wake.

Joyce and Fred laughed out loud. Everyone else looked at Linda. It was clear to all who the real boss was in this room.

Ret whispered to the girls, He won’t do anything. He’s too embarrassed, and he thinks the little dick threat is real. It is!

Joyce winked at her and added, “Now where was I? Oh yes, your schedule. You have a dental appointment this afternoon to check the braces, and you’ll be with Pamela and her crew all day tomorrow.”

“Joyce, please make me an ob-gyn appointment too. I need to get a regular check-up. We’ve all been so busy, I completely forgot,” Linda requested.

“I’ll try and work that in, but this close to Christmas might be difficult. I should be able to get you in to see a doctor in Jamaica while you’re on vacation. Will that work? Remember, you’re flying out of here in a couple days.”

Linda just nodded at Joyce. “Also, Joyce, here is the contact information for some fans I’ve promised signed eight by ten pictures to.”

“No problem,” Joyce told her. “All part of the full service PA Association Guild!”

Mouse asked, They have a guild?

No, I think Joyce was just making a joke, Ret told everyone.

“I don’t have much, just this list of what information I’ll need to get started on your taxes. You can either fax or courier all this to me,” Jerry Sanders advised her. “I’d like to add a well-done, Linda. He deserved that ass reaming.”

Pamela remarked, “Linda, it’s going to be a pleasure to work with you. We’ll need to go over your personal history, family members, school background, all kinds of things tomorrow. I’m bringing in a complete spa crew to give you the works, then we’ll get a new set of pictures taken. I’m bouncing around some great ideas on how to present you to maximize your earning potential.”

“Cindy, make sure everyone has a decent contract. I don’t want to go cheap on anybody working for me,” Linda told her.

“What do you want to do about legal representation? We still need a law firm on our side, just in case,” Cindy reminded everyone.

“Find me a couple of recent law school graduates that were at or near the top of their class and have decided to strike out together instead of joining some old firm,” Linda directed. “Preferably orphans or former foster kids. Put them on annual retainer for one hundred thousand. If they have to meet with me in person, fly them and their spouse, or whoever, on our dime to the Caribbean. You can reach me on my cell to keep me informed.”

“Okay, Linda. Now, onto the good news. Ping has deposited well over seven million in royalties into your business account. Archer clothing has added another two million. Adidas has dropped in three and a half million and Titleist has deposited an even one million dollars. Just a bit over thirteen million in the corporate account, and Linda has yet to play in her first professional tournament. The public loves you Linda. I’ve never seen such a fast rise to stardom in ladies golf,” Cindy reported. “Jerry, does your firm have an investment service branch? Linda, Fred, and I are going to need one.”

“We do, and we can easily add those services to our list,” Jerry replied.

“Cindy, I almost forgot a couple things. Put Joyce on permanent status with the whole works, medical dental, all that. Give her one percent of earnings cumulative, per year for the next five years as a bonus to salary,” Linda told her. “I also have some souvenir Christmas presents from Hawaii back at the hotel for everyone. Cindy, can you have someone stop by and pick them up? It looks like I’m going to be pretty busy for the next couple of days before I escape on vacation!” Linda said.

Shortly after the meeting broke up, Linda was on her way to the orthodontist’s office, courtesy of Boris and the limo. At the dentist’s office, her exam went well. In fact it went so well the orthodontist removed her braces. He was confused by how quickly Linda’s teeth edged into perfect alignment, and how firmly they were in place. Linda knew that a bit of gentle TK pushing made all the difference.

Boris drove Linda back to her hotel, and she released him for the rest of the day. They agreed to get on the road again at eight in the morning for the drive to Pamela’s offices.

The meetings had run late, and Linda had missed lunch so she ordered up a room service cheeseburger, fries and a coke.

While the girls waited for food, Linda asked Ret for a report. Well Ret, what all have you found out here in Los Angeles today? We all know you’ve been scouting around while we roamed the city.

The gangs for the most part, are still avoiding all of Southern California. That whole ‘Angel’ thing really spooked them. One new gang has moved back into the Compton area, but they’re still pretty small. I did find a lot of pedophiles, unrepentant rapists, murderers, and a couple terrorist cells operating in LA. Also some dirty politicians and cops. Tons of pimps and drug dealers. Anything you want specifics about? Ret replied.

Let’s go into the bathroom. I want to see something, Linda replied.

In the bathroom, Linda asked all of the girls, Everyone feeling okay for some nocturnal adventures tonight? Receiving five positive replies, Linda told them, Alright then we are going to do something different. Mouse, I need your help first.

Mouse chimed in, Mouse, master of disguise and illusions, present for duty, Madam! Then she started giggling. Her laugh was contagious and soon all six of them were laughing at her antics.

Calming down, Linda told her, Mouse, I want you to make us look like The Angel of Los Angeles. Six feet tall, with big white wings. I want long straight black hair down to our ass, big tits, and wearing one of those white Roman toga-like things with lots of cleavage. Might as well give the locals a good show. We need to have a warm golden glow around us too. Change our facial features to look, hmmm, Angelic I guess.

Mouse concentrated and changed Linda into a reasonable looking Angel. All the girls came up with pointers and suggestions until the final result was a perfect looking Angel of Los Angeles with not a hint of any resemblance to Linda.

Looks great! Ret enthused. Now what are we going to do with an Angel?

We’re going to fly around LA tonight, killing assholes on your list, and occasionally becoming visible for brief periods as the Angel.

Won’t that expose us? Tink asked.

No, Linda said. It will expose the Angel and add to her mystique. I don’t think anyone will connect a six foot tall flying Angel with a five foot six inch golfer.

I like it, Tink voted.