Chapter 2: I Won

Monday, September 18, 2028...

I’m not a heavy drinker, but I do enjoy sipping a single small glass of Bourbon on the Rocks in the evening; sometimes I’ll add some Ginger Ale. Saturday night I had polished off the last of my bottle of Ancient Age, and I had forgotten to replace it when I was out Sunday. I was on my way home from work when I decided to stop at my usual liquor store, and buy another bottle.

It was just a normal purchase, but I did notice the projected size of the Power Ball Jackpot. That amount of money was worth a twenty-dollar investment on my part. I knew the odds were against me; but hey, I could live my fantasy of winning the Jackpot Prize for the next four days. I could stretch that out further if I didn’t check my ticket’s numbers on the day the winning numbers were drawn.

Some people say the Lottery is a waste of money because of the odds. If you are buying the ticket believing you will win the Jackpot Prize, they’re right. You will probably not win more than a few dollars, and even that is if you get lucky. However, I think of it as entertainment. My twenty-dollar quick-pick ticket cost me less than a movie ticket, a large bucket of popcorn, and a large drink at an evening showing of a new release movie. A movie is a couple of hours of enjoyment, and my lottery ticket will allow me to play my What If game for several days with a very remote chance at winning some serious money; even if it isn’t the Jackpot Prize.

I slipped my Lottery Ticket and debit card back into my wallet, and took my bottle of Bourbon out to my car. On the way home, I started playing What If.

Friday, September 22, 2028...

I caught this year’s flu.

Flu bugs usually didn’t affect me other than a queasy stomach. However this time, the flu hit me hard around noon. I told my boss I had the flu, and was going home sick. I would be just one of several coworkers who were out sick. My boss didn’t like being shorthanded, but he did understand and was nice about the situation.

I felt like shit for the rest of that day, so I slept as much as possible. The next two days were even worse, what with the vomiting and diarrhea. I felt feverish, but the thermometer said my temperature was normal. I really didn’t care what it said. I felt like I was burning up with fever, and that was all that really mattered to me. By the fourth day, I was feeling a bit better.

Monday, September 25, 2028...

When I woke up this morning, I knew the worst was over, but I was still in no condition to go to work. I decided to call my boss and let him know I was finally starting to feel halfway decent. I called and told him I was almost over the flu, and thought I would be back to work by Friday. He was eager to get me and the others who were out sick back to work. Over half my coworkers were still out with the flu, so he and the rest of my coworkers were overwhelmed with work and needed help.

The next thing on my agenda was to fire up my computer, and find out what had been happening in the world while I was in bed with the flu. The story that grabbed my attention was about the lucky asshole in San Diego who bought the one single winning Power Ball ticket for the one point four billion dollar Jackpot Prize. But ... no one had come forward to claim that prize in the past four days. The media was in a frenzy to find this person. That was when I remembered that I had bought a ticket before I got sick. To make a short story even shorter, I checked my ticket and found out I was the lucky asshole.

After checking the numbers three times to make sure I hadn’t made some mistake, I went to the Lottery’s website to find out what I had to do to claim my Jackpot Prize. It wasn’t that difficult. Sign my ticket, fill out a claim form, staple my ticket to the form, and submit the form and ticket to any California Lottery Office. When I checked, I found out there is only one Lottery Office in San Diego. The first thing I did was sign my Powerball ticket. Did I hotfoot it down to my Lottery Office? No, I didn’t. What I did do, was lock my ticket in my fireproof safe. The Lottery’s website had a number of articles that gave good advice to Jackpot winners. Since I was too sick to go out, I read those articles, and then I called Bob Thompson.

While reading the articles, I decided that before I submitted my ticket, I would get some financial and legal advice. Ruth and I had been scrupulous when it came to saving for our retirement. At the time of her death, we had a joint investment account managed by our Financial Adviser, Bob Thompson. That account had a balance of over three hundred and fifty thousand dollars; not bad for a couple still in their thirties. A large part of that balance was due to Bob’s advice that put Ruth and me in the right short-term and long-term investments, and he had us sell the short-term investments just before they peaked and then dropped. I trusted Bob to give me good financial advice.

When I called Bob’s office, his secretary, Sandy Carr, answered. I told her I had a financial emergency and needed to speak with Bob as soon as possible. She was able to shoehorn me into his schedule early the next morning, due to a recently canceled appointment. The excitement had worn me out, so I went back to bed. I would take care of the rest tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 26, 2028...

I walked into Bob’s office at eight-thirty and Sandy greeted me with, “Good morning, Carl. Bob’s still with another client, but he should be finished shortly. Can I get you some coffee or a bottle of water?”

“I’d enjoy a water, Sandy. I think I need something to wet my whistle, and I’m coffeed out, right now.”

As she handed me a bottle of water, Sandy said, “I told Bob you had a problem. I hope it isn’t something too bad.”

“No, it isn’t that type of problem, Sandy. It’s actually a good thing that is likely to cause me problems. I’m hoping Bob can advise me on how to avoid some of those problems.”

“Oh! Well Bob has helped a lot of people with their problems, but I’m having a hard time with the concept of a good problem.”

“Yeah! I know what you mean. For now, let’s just say I received a financial windfall, and I don’t want the news to get out to the people I don’t know, and even some that I do. I don’t mind my close friends knowing about it, but I have a couple of relatives who will line up for a handout. Then there is my greediest relative, Uncle Sam, and he will definitely be in line for his share of my good fortune.”

“That goes with the territory around here, Carl. You would be surprised at how many of our clients have that problem. The IRS is bad enough, but some of our clients’ relatives have sued our clients trying to force them into giving them large amounts of money.”

Bob’s office door opened and he escorted an elderly woman to the front door and said goodbye.

“Hi, Carl. Come on in and tell me about this emergency of yours.”

I love Bob’s chairs. He has these overstuffed captain’s chairs for his visitors that I just sink into and relax so much that I almost fall asleep. The chairs alone make me feel better about whatever is troubling me. Bob sat down and gave me that inquisitive look of his.

“I’ve been sick with the flu for the past six days, Bob. It wasn’t until yesterday that I checked my Lottery ticket and found out that I’d won the Power Ball jackpot.”

With a shocked, dumbfounded, disbelieving look on his face, Bob leaned forward and said, “You won the one point four billion dollar Grand Prize?“

“Yeah, I won it. Now I’m trying to figure out the best way to go about collecting my winnings, without all the problems that I found out go along with being the winner.

“So far, I’ve figured out that I will need a good tax attorney, and that I will quit my job after I collect my winnings. I also don’t want to sit around on my ass for the rest of my life, so I will probably want to start some type of business to keep me occupied. I’m hoping you can recommend some good, long-term investments for most of my winnings. And if I do start a business, I will want to hold out a sizeable chunk of money to finance the business. I will probably need a good CPA to keep track of everything for tax purposes.”

“Alright, Carl. Does figuring out how to collect your winnings mean you’ve submitted your ticket?”

“No. Why?”

“Well, it gives us some time to plan things. Other than my recommending investments, is there anything else you want from me?”

“Yeah, I’m hoping you can recommend a good CPA and tax attorney. I’m also hoping that you can give me your opinion and advice about what to expect when everyone finds out that I won the Lottery.”

“I am still having trouble with the idea of you winning the Lottery, Carl, and what it will mean for you. But to start with, my choice for a tax attorney is Bill Nobel. His degree is in Corporate Law and he works primarily as a CPA and tax consultant; but occasionally, he helps a client with setting up a business.”

“Good! He sounds like what I need. Do you have his phone number by chance?”

Bob rummaged through his desk drawer for a moment, and then said, “Here’s one of his business cards, Carl.

“Now ... as to what you can expect, you are going to be overwhelmed by people who want you to invest in their projects, people wanting you to donate money to their worthy charities, and of course you can expect the media to harass you for a long time and to periodically revisit you in the future.”

“Okay, so a lot of people will be out to get part of my winnings. That I can deal with. They will be a pain in the ass, but all I have to do is say ‘NO.’”

“Actually, what you should do, Carl, is hire someone to handle their requests and refer them to that person.”

“Why should I do that?”

“To start with, it removes you from any possible direct conflict with the people who come to you. Secondly, some of the investment opportunities might be worthwhile pursuing, and you don’t want to spend your time investigating everyone’s offer. Let a professional investment counselor do that for you. Your counselor can inform the charity donation seekers that you have a list of charities that you support, but they will pass the request to you for consideration. If you give your counselor some guidelines, they will filter any such requests down to a minimum.”

“Okay, that makes sense. Do you have a recommendation?”

“No. I know of a few people in that line of business, but no one I would recommend. However, Bill deals with investment counselors all the time, so you would be better off asking him.”

“Alright. I know the media has been bad with celebrities and with other Lottery winners. I really don’t want them invading my personal life. What do I do to avoid their questions and keep them from harassing me?”

“That’s the Million Dollar question, Carl. So far, no one has found a good answer. Some people have gone the No Comment route. But the media hounds you until you give them a statement. Some people go with the Impersonal Comment route. That route doesn’t work either for they just push to get your personal life history. It really doesn’t matter which route you take, they will look into your past and interview everyone who knows you, and then they will print everything they find out about your entire life history; regardless of whether it is actually true.”

“But why? I’m not a celebrity. I’m just a private person who has won some money and wants to be left alone.”

“Read the papers, Carl. The reality of your current situation is the media has already declared you a Person of Interest to the American public. They just don’t know your name. To them, declaring you a Person of Interest grants them the right to dig into your personal life and make it public. When you object, they will justify their action with statements like The public has the right to know. If you try to sue them for Invasion of Privacy, they will invoke their First Amendment rights, and you will lose.”

“Yeah, Bob. I know what you’re saying. I’ve read about it happening to others, but I never expected it would happen to me. I didn’t think it was right when they invaded the personal lives of celebrities and others, and I won’t like it when they do it to me. I’m not sure what I can do about it, but there has to be a way to make them back off.”

“I understand your feelings, Carl. I feel the same way about people invading the privacy of others. Unfortunately, no one has found a way to get the media off their back. The people who sue them, usually lose. The few who win have little to no impact on them going after other targets. I think the media outlets have a budget for compensating people for lawsuits they lose. However, it always seems like their financial loss is offset by an increase in circulation or viewers, which usually means an increase in their ratings and revenue stream.”