Chapter 16

Charlie Charles William (Named after Paternal Grandfather)

I will answer to Chuck, Charles, Charlie or ChuckieBill, but not to CW or any other southern euphemisms. I was born in Texas but never lived there. I AM NOT A TEXAN.

I found this journal in the car...the Volvo...while I was transferring about a million Volvo parts from one backseat to another. All those Volvo parts were still in the original Swedish boxes.

New water pumps; six, distributors; eight, points, three dozen spark plugs, plug wires, side draft carburetors, four sets of pistons; four different sizes, connecting rods, bearings, crankshafts, camshafts, clutch repair kits, master cylinders; brake and clutch, valves; intake and exhaust, gasket sets, freeze plugs. You name it...if there was one there were two; two? there were four.

Oil filters, air filters, fuel pumps, nuts, bolts, universal joints, motor mounts, bell housings, Chevy V8 to Volvo adapter kits, small block Ford to Volvo adapter kits; both came complete with the driveshafts. Two radiators, generators, a Volvo alternator kit.

Hoses; all kinds.

Down at the bottom? Four transmissions and four complete cylinder heads...and those had to go on the bottom of the pile. I had to shift it all to get them on the floor.

If it was a part needed to completely rebuild a B-18 engine to factory original? It was in the trunk or backseat...and there was still room for the spare tire and our luggage. It fit in the Volvo; sorta fit in the Caddy...it was hell getting it all in the Rolls.

Mom explained, “There’s a ton of Swedes, Norwegians and Finlanders spread all across the Northern Tier. They bought a lot of Volvo and Saab cars...because they’re reliable in the winter, they get good mileage, they don’t need a mechanical engineer to fix and they’re comfortable.”

“Why do you want all this junk?” I asked.

“There’s at least ten thousand dollars of new old stock parts in that pile. You do want a car when you’re 16?”

“Every boy wants a car.”

“I know where there are at least a dozen old Volvos in barns, garages and sheds. I tell stories and kids tell me about cars in the barn.”

I guess we can afford a car or two...if it’s the only way I’m going to get one.

She said. “Most of them run...but you are going to make at least one of those old cars into something you’ll be proud to take to the prom.”

“I’d be prouder to use the Rolls.” As if I was going to go to the prom.

Girls have cooties. They’re not as big a cootie as they used to be...Cooties just the same.

You might think she’d see the light...but no...the Roller is for special occasions and you can’t daily drive it. Damn it all. But...that 544 rear seat is pretty big. Hmmm.

If I Was going to take a girl to the Prom...I’d want a big backseat.

So I moved the parts...twice.

“Thank you, ChuckieBill.”

UHOH...the sweetheart name...what does she want now?

“Your sister and I are going to Boston for the game...we’re taking the Train. You call Triple A and get us an itinerary for the trip home. We’ll stop and look. Okay?”

She took me aside, “Don’t expect us home. I’m going to enjoy myself and Beck is ALWAYS up for a party. Be good. I left a couple of hundreds on the bed. Feed yourself.”