Chapter 12

Karen exhaled deeply, looking at her gathering. “Now it’s time to face the music. I owe all of you an explanation as to why I was so bad off that I wanted to kill myself. Yes, I tried to commit suicide by driving my car off the cliff at the abandoned rock quarry.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to us if you don’t want to, Mom,” Brad said.

“Yes, I do; I need to get this off my chest, so please bear with me for a few minutes.”

“When Steve and I were married, we tried for several years to have kids. When I met Dan and Laura, they already had Kevin and Cathy. I fell in love and still am so deeply in love with Dan,” she said, squeezing his hand and smiling at him.

“Steve and I tried to have kids, but nothing happened. Laura knew how badly I wanted to have children and how much I loved Dan. With our open relationship, she suggested that I try to have a baby with Dan.”

“Since she and Dan planned on having a third baby, Laura suggested we have babies at the same time. We timed it so Dan got us both pregnant—in the same week, no less. That’s why Diane and Doug are only a week apart in age.”

“Then, of course, I had Brenda and Brad. All Dan had to do was look at me, and bang, I was pregnant with him. I debated hundreds and hundreds of times for years if I should tell Dan he was the father of my babies or not.”

“When the psychiatrist talked to me tonight, she asked me why I didn’t tell Dan he was the father of my three children right from the beginning. I realized that if I had told him that Diane, Brenda, and Brad were his children, he would have had to keep it a secret too. Therefore, I bore the guilt of not telling him and kept the secret between Laura and myself. I had denied Dan twenty years of fatherhood, denied my kids their real father, denied Kevin, Cathy, and Doug their brothers and sisters,” Karen explained, tears welling, her lower lip trembling.

“When Dan and I met last November, bang, the same thing happened again; in an instant, he got me pregnant,” everyone chuckled. “I was totally surprised because I figured I had started menopause six months before. The doctor told me that my body was so affected by meeting Dan again that my hormones chemically induced what he called spontaneous ovulation. Meaning I produced an egg for Dan’s sperm even though my body wasn’t supposed to.”

“I was determined to make up for all those lost years and was so happy and so proud to tell Dan we were having a baby. This time, I was making sure things were right, right from the beginning. Dan would be able to hold his baby right from her very first day.”

“When I was having my problem, I told Dan to save the baby if the choice came to her or me. When I woke up and found I was still alive, but our baby was dead. I was so devastated and heartbroken. I felt defective as a woman and shut down emotionally and physically to everyone.”

“I had Dan and Wendy take me to the Hen House for my birthday. Once there, I went to the bondage room and asked the mistress to parade me around like a sex dog. Tanya took me to different tables, where I was fucked by different guys. I also gave blowjobs and ate different pussies. I guess the three of us thought it was fun—a joke that Wendy jerked Dan off into my mouth and others watched me eat her pussy. Little did they realize I was really punishing myself for losing our baby.”

“I started going most afternoons to the Hen House, pretending to be at work. I even wore my work clothes when leaving home to fool you all. As the days passed, I wanted to be punished more and more. I’d be restrained by leather straps around my legs, wrists, and neck, so I couldn’t fight back while being fucked up in my ass, pussy, or in my mouth. I noticed that I bruised when I fought against my restraints. That’s when I started wearing clothes to hide my bruises.”

“Yesterday was my worst day of all days, especially because it happened on Dan’s birthday. I’m so sorry I ruined your day. I slapped, as hard as I could, the only man I’ve ever really loved. I told all the women and friends in my family that I hated them. I meant it when I said you’d be better off with me dead the way I’d treated you all.”

“Dan deserved to be with Wendy, not me. I was now at my wit’s end. When I left home from Dan’s party, I headed for the Hen House. I happen to pass by the road that leads to the abandoned quarry. I knew it was a long drop off the edge, and the drive off the cliff would kill me. I broke down the gate with my car and floored it.”

“What made you stop, Mom?” Brenda asked.

“Just as I was approaching the edge, two wispy, ghost-like, or spirit-like figures appeared in front of me. They put their hands up and commanded that I stop. I drove through the figures as if they were made of smoke or fog. I felt the car slowing down, so I pressed harder on the gas pedal to go faster, but something held the car from going over the edge.”

“I started laughing hysterically, saying, ‘I was such a chicken shit that I didn’t even have the guts to kill myself.’ I must have fainted from the experience.”

“I know I wasn’t right in my head, but I’m certain the blonde woman was the ghost or spirit of Dan’s dead wife, Laura. If she could predict her death and write those beautiful letters, why couldn’t she have the ability to transform into a human shape in front of me? She still looked so stunningly beautiful.”

The other woman was also very beautiful—a tall, slender brunette with shoulder-length hair. She sort of looked familiar to me, but I couldn’t place where I’d seen her. I know you all must think I’m crazy, and I wouldn’t blame you for thinking so, but I’m telling you the truth.” Karen paused, looking at everyone around her.