Chapter 48: Three Square Meals

January 18, 1992, Chicago, Illinois

“Breakfast with the guys, karate, a date with Kajri, and a date with Crystal? You have a full day, Tiger!”

We were walking to the hospital just before 5:00am on Saturday morning. Kara was still home in bed, because she’d decided that -2°F was too cold to get out of a warm bed. Jessica sympathized and told her to stay there.

“I figured because this was one of the days you traded for to get our time together at Christmas, it made sense. Kara had already made plans with her ‘Chemistry Mafia’ friends to hang out for that reason. She figured I’d find something to do!”

“This thing with Crystal is a bit odd.”

“That’s true. But I’ve been completely consistent with her. For whatever reason, she still wants to go out.”

“You’re taking her nice places, showing her a good time, and despite what she’s implying, she likes the companionship. I’m guessing she didn’t get much ‘wining and dining’ in rural Kansas.”

“Probably not.”

“You didn’t stay out as late last night with Gina,” Jessica said with a smile.

“She wasn’t happy I was limiting how much she drank, but I did get her to accept an invitation to dance from a fairly nice-looking guy at Joey’s Place. They have a jukebox and a dance floor. She seemed to have a good time. I asked her to start running with me.”

“Like you did with Jacqui?”

“Yes. We have the Y membership because it was required for the kids to take swimming lessons there. I may as well make use of the track. And, to be honest, Gina could use the exercise. Both to take off a few pounds, and to burn off the junk food she eats.”

Jessica laughed, “Listen to you! Mister ‘Coke and Chips’!”

“Not in a long time. Well, that’s not true. Fawn and I drank Cokes in Central Park. I figured I’d easily burn off the extra calories, and I was right!”

“Yes, but the high-fructose corn syrup is not good for your liver.”

“Yes, Doctor Jessica,” I sighed.

She laughed, “We can make a deal. No sex with anyone but Kara and me, and you can eat anything you like! Do you want your Cokes THAT badly?”

“All kidding aside, at this point, they just don’t taste the same. In fact, anything with a lot of sugar in it is pretty overpowering. Even birthday cake and ice cream taste sickeningly sweet these days.”

“That’s because your body has adapted. You’re mostly ketogenic at this point. Your body burns fats, rather than sugars. Any sugar your body needs is created by your liver in a process called gluconeogenesis. There’s been quite a bit of research in this area in the past, a lot of it by an Englishman named William Banting. He wrote a pamphlet espousing the exact diet you’re on. He wasn’t a doctor, but a doctor friend of his talked to him about this diet in terms of weight loss and diabetes. He was basically the father of the modern diet.”

“Hang on! Did you say his name was Banting?” I asked, incredulous.

“Yes. Why?”

I laughed, “The Swedish word for diet is banta. That HAS to be related!”

“Supposedly, people asked each other in the late 19th century, ‘Do you bant?’ to ask if they followed his diet.”

“Holy shit!” I laughed harder. “That is hilarious. How did you learn about him?”

“In a class on nutrition,” Jessica said. “But they said he was wrong, and pushed the modern ‘Diet-Heart’ idea which is, in my opinion, and Doctor Barton’s, completely wrong. Triglycerides and cholesterol are the result of sugar intake, not fat intake or dietary cholesterol. What’s your cholesterol count?”

“125.”

“Which is amazing. And your HDL and LDL?”

“45 and 63.”

“130 on LDL is considered OK. Do you know what it was before you went on your new diet?”

“The very first one I had showed the LDL at about 110, if I recall correctly.”

“Anecdotal, but it proves our point, at least in your case. But Banting’s diet WORKED to control diabetes in mild to moderate cases. That was pre-insulin, remember. The appearance of insulin as a commonly available drug meant less focus on dietary changes and exercise, and more reliance on the drug. Why change if all you have to do is inject some insulin or drink some orange juice to rectify your blood sugar problem.”

“Interesting. So why did this happen?”

“Senator George McGovern. I don’t recall all the details, but his committee pushed the Diet-Heart plan for political reasons.”

“You do know what the two main cash crops in the US are these days, don’t you? I bet that has some relation.”

“Corn and wheat, right?”

“Yes. And the government pushes everyone to high-fructose corn syrup by putting high tariffs on sugar. I suspect you can figure that one out, too.”

“Every day I see more and more why you simply detest the government. And don’t trust them with anything.”

“Exactly,” I said. “Well, we’re here and it’s DAMNED cold. How about a kiss so I can get back home!”

“See you tomorrow evening?” she said.

“I hate that you took a 36-hour shift from a first year.”

“Those are the breaks. Kiss me!”

We kissed, and she headed inside. I made my way back home as quickly as possible, and took a VERY hot shower to try to warm up. Once I was warm again, I went to the basement to use the treadmill. I hoped I could convince Gina to start running. I’d likely have to do some extra running after our sessions since she’d start out slow and for short distances, but it would be worth it.

When I finished my run, I took another shower and Kara finally got out of bed. We spent a bit of time together before I headed to Bucktown to join the rest of the guys for breakfast.

“So, what’s this I hear about you being full-time CEO?” Jorge asked.

“You heard about our acquisition of our competitor? Well, somebody has to manage that. And if I have Cindi do it, our revenue is going to fall off. If I have Julia do it, our consulting practice and development will be impacted. If I have Elyse do it, I’ll have to hire people to do our finances, and I trust her with my life.”

“And your money!” Jamie added.

“I think it’s a good thing,” Jorge said. “You just needed some seasoning first.”

“What am I, a steak?” I grinned.

“I do know a few women who have felt like roasting you over a bed of hot coals!” he said with a huge grin.

“Jorge, there’s a long list of those stretching back to Junior High School!” Pete laughed. “You came late to the game!”

“But still,” Jorge went on. “I’m not too sure about Steve as a boss, controlling other people. I’m not sure he’s qualified.”

“What?” several of the guys, including Karl and Jamie cried out.

I just held back a smirk. I had a very good idea of where he was going with this.

“I don’t know,” Jorge continued, “but I’d rather be more like you guys.”

“What are you talking about?” Pete asked.

“You know, having a good strong woman controlling me!”

“That’s nuts!” Pete laughed.

“Pete, my friend, Deputy US Marshal or not,” Karl laughed, “as your friend and lawyer, I advise you to stop right there. Anything you say will not only get back to Melanie, but WILL be used against you!”

“As I said,” Jorge chuckled. “Name ONE of your wives who’s not extremely intelligent or doesn’t have her act together! The same goes for Steve at NIKA. He has his work cut out for him!”

“And there are STILL plenty of women there who, on occasion, would like to roast him on a spit!” Terry laughed. “Including my wife!”

She must have talked to him about our conversation. That was a good thing. I could imagine what she said, too! The paint on the walls of their apartment probably curled from the ‘blue’ language!

Jorge grinned, “Yes, but his daughter is standing by with a fire extinguisher and Aunt Elyse’s shotgun to prevent it!”

“She’s absolutely her daddy’s girl,” Kurt said. “But given Jesse, Matthew, Albert, and Michael, he needs an ally! They’re all plotting to overthrow the king!”

“Tell me about it,” Dave laughed. “Even my two boys are like that. Julia gets a kick out of it. I suppose it’s the way of every little boy - topple Dad as king of the family.”

“And marry Mom, if the Greeks were right!” Karl laughed.

“I don’t know that I ever felt that way,” Ed said.

“No, you wanted to kill the crown princess to become crown prince!” I teased.

“You never had to live with Bethany as your older sister!” Ed protested.

“I’m with you on that one!” Terry said. “I bet Zeke is, too. We both have older sisters. It’s like having two moms!”

“Hey, that’s working for Jesse,” I chuckled.

“An older sister is WORSE than a mom!” Zeke said. “Seriously. You’re lucky yours was younger!”

“My mom was a big enough bitch for three or four moms,” I said.

“You met mine!” Jorge said. “I know how it is.”

“And my mom was the best mom I could ever have,” Jamie said. “Seriously. She was great.”

“Mine wasn’t so bad,” Dave said. “Just the usual stuff. The only time she really was difficult was over Hannah.”

“An observant Jewish girl?” I said with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t think that should have surprised you living in a faithful Greek Orthodox household. Her parents were none too thrilled either, from what you said.”

“But she was smoking hot!” Dave protested.

All the guys laughed.

“That does tend to cloud our judgment!” Alex laughed from behind me. “Did anyone hear from Chris at all?”

Everyone shook their heads or said ‘no’. I was reasonably certain that Cindi was proceeding with her divorce, but I hadn’t talked to her about it. It was one of those things that if she wanted to tell me, I’d be happy to listen and give advice, but I couldn’t go to her.

“I gave up,” Jamie said. “Seriously. It’s been months. The guy just isn’t interested in being with us. There is nothing we can do.”

“That really hurts,” I said. “After all these years.”

“Don’t take it too personally,” Jorge said. “Broken relationships like his create all kinds of conflicts and problems when both people are involved in a group. It seems like he gave up the group to Cindi, most likely because she knew us longer and was more integrated. She dated Dave, she was friends with you when you lived in your apartment, she and I dated. She lived at your house. She works for you. Look at it from his perspective.”

“Did you talk to him about that?” I asked.

“I tried. He won’t return my calls, either. But it makes sense.”

“It sucks,” I sighed.

“Steve,” Howard said. “I’ve seen this before with divorces. You don’t just divide up the assets and the kids; you divide up the friends, too. The problem is, in this case, there is no way to divide up the friends. The guys and girls all hang out. Our wives and girlfriends hang out together. We hang out together. How do you divide that?”

“You don’t, I guess.”

“Exactly.”

“I hear my future wife is roping you in further,” Howard grinned.

“I had thought about killing her and hiding the body,” I chuckled. “But I thought that might put you off, so I decided to cooperate instead!”

“Put me off? Yeah, that’s one way to look at it. Another way to look at it is that Clayton is one of my best friends. He has access to all manner of interesting toys I could borrow!”

“Just let Pete handle it,” Kurt laughed. “I’m sure a Deputy Marshal can shoot him and called it ‘justified’!”

“No comment!” Pete laughed.

Pam arrived to take our orders, or more accurately, verify that there were no changes to our usual orders. The conversation drifted to sports, politics, and world events, and when we finished, I headed home for karate.

I was back downtown at 12:30pm to meet Kajri at Boston Blackie’s. I’d verified with her that she wasn’t observant and that beef was OK. She showed up a few minutes later and we were seated. We ordered drinks and our burgers, and a large plate of fries to share. I’d have to watch my carbs for the rest of the day, but one meal wasn’t going to mess things up. And Doctor Barton had agreed that it was OK, on occasion.

“Are your parents in the US? Or just you?” I asked.

“Just me,” Kajri said. “I live with two other girls out in Lisle, near where I work. I met them through an ad for a third housemate. I didn’t really know anyone here, so I thought it would be a good way to meet people. But I really don’t like living there. I’ll probably move out at the end of the summer.”

“Oh? What’s wrong?”

“They like to party too much. They’re about my age, 22. Fresh out of uni like I am. I guess you know I was pretty much a bookworm in college.”

“Jeri said something along those lines, yes.”

“I’m not too comfortable, socially. My mum was always overprotective, and anytime I would go to a party she’d spit the dummy and we’d have it out.”

“Sorry, ‘spit the dummy’?”

“I think you’d say ‘have a cow’ or ‘throw a hissy fit’. A dummy I think you call a ‘pacifier’. You know, for a baby.”

I laughed, “Got it. Sorry. I’m not big on Anglicisms. My housemate Elyse watches a lot of BBC, so she probably would have known that one.”

“You get Auntie here?”

“Auntie?” I asked.

Kajri smiled, “Sorry. I did that on purpose. Auntie Beeb. The BBC.”

“Yes, on cable. Well, at least some shows. So is that how this is going to work? You’re going to hit me with British slang?”

“It could be fun, yes.”

“I did know that ‘fancy dress’ meant costume, if you recall!”

“Yes,” she smirked. “What’s a fanny?”

“Your ‘butt’, of course!” I said.

Kajri broke out laughing. I’d obviously missed something. But I was happy to see her laugh. She was feeling comfortable with me, and that was good.

“In the UK, it’s the front naughty bits on a girl, not the back part!”

WAY more comfortable than I’d imagined. I wondered just how much Jeri had talked to her.

“Oops,” I grinned. “That could lead to some VERY embarrassing moments! ‘Kiss my fanny’ takes on a whole new meaning!”

Kajri blushed slightly.

“But I know how that works,” I continued. “I had an incident similar to that when a cute girl in Sweden asked me if I had a rubber. And she meant an eraser! I think I turned fourteen shades of red!”

“Silly! You do know that a plate of fried potatoes is called ‘chips’, right?”

I had a flashback to a bout of teasing with Elizabeth Molander in Sweden during my exchange year.

“Yes, and the ones in the bag are ‘crisps’. And that a stroller is a ‘pram’, the trunk of a car is the ‘boot, and a wrench is a ‘spanner’.”

I knew one more, and based on what she’d said before, I thought I’d say it.