Chapter 45: Decisions

January 12, 1992, Chicago, Illinois

“Hi, Sweetheart,” I said when she answered the phone on Sunday morning.

“I’m sorry I had to head home so quickly after the announcement. And I’m sorry to take you by surprise that way.”

“A normal person wouldn’t have the kind of physical reaction I did.”

“You are NOT a normal person!” Bethany said with a laugh.

“That isn’t exactly a revelation!” I laughed. “I totally understand why you wanted it to be a surprise. I wasn’t upset. Jessica’s decision bothered me much more.”

“Because you don’t want the limelight. You never have. You like your circle of friends, and don’t want much to do with any public speaking. I hear you even hate talking to your own employees as a group!”

“It’s not that I hate it, but I’ve always disliked long-winded speeches, so I don’t give them.”

“But, initially you didn’t want to run the company.”

“True, and long-term, I don’t want to, either. But forget all that. It was, to say the least, quite a surprise. But, as I’ve thought about it, nothing could make more sense.”

“I’m glad YOU think so!” Bethany said.

“I already had a discussion with Doctor Mercer. I was pretty harsh, actually. But I guess I’ve finally had it with her telling me that sleeping with you when we were fifteen was a mistake. And with her telling me that sleeping with you now is a mistake.”

“You aren’t sleeping with me now!” Bethany protested.

“Oh goody,” I teased. “Now YOU’RE being pedantic! You know what I meant. Do I have to be explicit?”

“You mean like your promise to fulfill that dream?” she laughed.

“Whatever!” I chuckled. “Anyway, I told her she was wrong about you this time as well. That you were made for this role, and your entire life, from the day you were born, through all the tragedy, was leading you to this position. I can’t think of anything that fits you more than running the new center.”

“She told me you really pushed back hard. She was actually surprised by that.”

“She caught me in a transitional period. There have been some developments since you all sprung that series of surprises on me.”

“Oh?”

“The short version is, I had a tense discussion with my wives about the scheming, especially an offer they made to you.”

“Tense discussion?” Bethany interrupted.

“Tense. I was pissed because they decided some very important things without even consulting me. I know you all know I can be led around fairly easily. Well, no more. I told my wives I’m taking over as CEO of the family.”

“Wow. I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s been a long time coming, don’t you think? It’s time to finally be rid of that submissive personality that my mom created in me and be who I’m supposed to be.”

“All this because they offered to let me live at your house?”

“That was just part of it. The entire thing with my sister has really weighed on me and I’ve discovered more about myself in the past few months than in all the years writing in my journal. I have a pretty good understanding of what happened and why. I took over as CEO of NIKA against my will, once again because of my sister. I’m guessing you see a pattern here.”

“I do.”

“Then on Friday, a number of things forced the issue. Jessica’s donation ended any chance of living a quiet, private life. Then I talked to the Press, which led to another interview that’s going to profile NIKA in next week’s Crain’s Chicago Business. Then the revelation that the girls had made their offer to you, which Jesse backs wholeheartedly.”

“They told him?!” she gasped.

“No, of course not! But when I got home he was literally, and I mean literally, bouncing off the walls about Nicholas moving to Chicago and told me his plans for sharing his bedroom with Nicholas and you moving into the house!”

Bethany laughed hard, “He and Nicholas were going nuts when I eventually got back to the house.”

“Anyway, I was upset about all of that, and I let Jessica and Kara know just how cross I was. I was pretty harsh with them. Not because Jessica can’t spend her money as she wishes; she can. But as I pointed out, in addition to forcing me into the public eye, she also didn’t understand the tax implications. I’m also not sure I’d have depleted my savings and investments as much as she did, but that’s her call.

“The bottom line was lack of communication. And that led to some pretty harsh words, as I said, with the end result being me declaring myself CEO of the family. And that means that for all decisions that affect the family, I am to be directly involved. As I pointed out to Jess with regard to the donation, I’d have suggested making it anonymously, and before December 31st, because the legal costs will pretty much wipe out my bonus for 1992, meaning last year was a higher tax year.

“In the end, it’s really only going to make a small difference in our taxes, but the point was important to make. And as I told her, I wouldn’t have forced her to make the donation anonymously, but I would have liked to have input. And time to prepare. The funny thing is, overall, it worked out better this way because it forced me to reconsider my own path through life.

“And it didn’t stop there. On Tuesday, Jeri handed me a copy of a press release naming me to the Lundgren Foundation Board of Directors. She and I had a bit of a debate about that, but, in the end, she made persuasive arguments. And that led to another discussion about inside information she had about something going on with NIKA. I wasn’t happy she’d withheld it, but, once again, things worked out for the best. She and I reached an agreement that she’d share information like that immediately, and I’d grant a favor she’d requested.”

Bethany giggled, “She’s engaged to Howard! So I know it’s not THAT!”

“No, Miss ‘Mind in the Gutter’, it’s not that!”

It wasn’t THAT with HER, but it was THAT. But Bethany didn’t need to know.

“You, Steve Adams, are going to sit on the Board of Directors of the Foundation? Seriously?”

“Seriously. But that’s not all. On Wednesday night I had a meeting with one of our important customers, a real over-the-top, type-A personality who is often a jerk. I simply TOLD him to write a check to the Foundation for the Center. You have another $10,000 to work with.”

“You? You did that? Wow!”

“Is it that much of a surprise, really?”

“Yes and no. Yes that this transformation happened almost instantaneously. No, in that the REAL you is coming out now. Your mom beat you down so far and so hard, that it’s taken ten solid years of counseling and hard work to break out of your old mold. I am very happy. I’m sure Doctor Mercer will be as well.”

“Except for me disagreeing with her.”

“With you, she’s used to it! That said, you are following her prescriptions with regard to your sister, aren’t you?”

“To the letter. I see Stephanie for Sunday dinner, and that’s it. And Ed is always with her when she’s here. Well, not for Girls’ Night Out, but she’s with the women and Ed is with the men.”

“Fran is very concerned about the engagement.”

“I told Doctor Mercer she was wrong about that, as well. I understand her concerns, but the overriding thing in my mind, is that my sister ACCEPTED Ed’s proposal. Consider how she responded to the mere thought that Jorge would propose. Stephanie has, at least partially, accepted that I can’t marry her or father her children. That is a HUGE step in the right direction. If anyone is going to bring my sister out of this, it’s Ed. That man has the patience of Job.”

Bethany laughed softly, “Far be it from me to say ANYTHING good about my little brother, but I think you’re right!”

“Don’t get me wrong about Doctor Mercer. She’s been a huge help to me, to you, and to my sister. But I am sure you know that psychology isn’t an exact science. It’s not like chemistry where you can exactly predict a reaction, or Newtonian physics, where you can do the same thing. It’s more like quantum physics where there are a series of probabilities and you can’t be absolutely sure how the probability wave is going to collapse in any given scenario. I know that’s an over-simplification, but I’m Stephen Adams, Computer Scientist, not Stephen Hawking, Cosmologist and Astrophysicist!”

“I know,” Bethany sighed, deeply. “I told you what happened with Missy Easton’s little sister. We thought we were helping, but in the end, we might have pushed her over the edge.”

“Don’t beat yourself up too much on that one, Bethany. You didn’t get involved until after Missy killed herself. With a father who started raping both of them at age 8, aided and abetted by their mother, I’m not sure any amount of counseling would have helped.”

“That doesn’t make it any easier.”

“No, I’m sure it doesn’t,” I said.

“You object to his execution, don’t you?” Bethany replied.

“The law is clear and calls her death first degree murder. Not to mention raping his own daughters. I suppose if there were ever a case where I would really have to stop and think about it, this might well be the one. But, and this is important, I can’t draw the distinction, even for something as heinous as this. It still amounts to judicial murder. By the way, that Trib reporter, Jakes, wants an advance copy of your book for his niece who was raped. Her dad resolved the issue my way.”

“He killed the rapist?”

“Yes. Five years for manslaughter. If I’d been on the jury, he would have walked.”

“Nullification?”

“Damn straight. I know you all think I’m encouraging vigilante justice, and maybe I am. But there are some things I simply can’t abide, including the abuse of children and rape. And in this case, it was both. Remember, I only had Josh beat up.”

“So you finally admit that?”

“You’ve known it for years! And you know I was very happy when someone in prison resolved the issue permanently.”

“You are a very strange man. Non-violent to a fault in most instances. But if someone messes with your family or friends, or someone violates your personal code of honor, you’ll take them out. All the way out.”

“It hasn’t happened yet,” I said. “I believe people who know me understand that. Peace through superior firepower, as your husband used to say.”

“The threat that you will use violence reduces the chances that you’ll actually need to. Having a black belt is, in and of itself, enough to deter most people.”

“As Kurt has told Pete several times, he needs to shoot me from across the room, because if I get close, Pete’s dead!”

“What the heck was the context of THAT conversation?”

I chuckled, “The things you miss not being in Chicago. Pete put together an official ‘Steve Adams Rants’ list, and shared it with the guys. Jamie let the cat out of the bag, and I jokingly told him Pete was a dead man. Well, you know our friends, and Kurt decided to joke about it. Of course, I got my own licks in by pointing out that Melanie made her living with her mouth!”

“You and Melanie have always been at each other like that. Once you quit screwing, she was the big sister and you the little brother. And I don’t mean anything by that, if you know what I mean. It’s been like that since she and Pete got back together, and it’s fun to watch.”

“Pete agrees with you, because I can say things he never could. Well, not if he wants to stay alive!”

“True. Are you really OK with all of these changes? I mean, really?”

“I am. I’ve embraced the new me. The only thing I need to do is make sure I don’t take it too far and end up like that customer I told you about before. But I have Jesse and Matthew to knock me down a peg or two when necessary, not to mention my friends.”

“I noticed you didn’t mention your daughter.”

“And what are the chances that my Pumpkin will ever say one word against her dad?”

“Zero.”

“Exactly. So all of this brings us to a decision I need to make.”

“I can find my own place,” Bethany said. “The salary for the director is sufficient to live comfortably. And I’ve saved most of my income since Nick’s death, plus the benefits I received.”

“And you may well decide to do that. And I’m fine with that. But, if you want, you’re welcome to move into the house. The spare bedroom upstairs is yours for the asking, and Nicholas could sleep either in the boys’ room in the house, or share a room with Jesse, assuming Jesse’s moms were to agree.”

“And?”

“And nothing. That’s the offer. Anything beyond simply living here is outside the scope of this discussion.”

“Of course it is, Mr. CEO!” she laughed.

“Bethany, you living here, and you and I making love, are two completely separate topics in my mind. They have to be. I would love to have you live here. The other thing is so much more complex and there are so many pitfalls, that we can’t take a decision like that lightly. You know how I feel about you, and always have. I know how you feel about me, and always have. From a purely physical standpoint, we both want it. But we can’t be dumb. We aren’t fifteen anymore. And there are far more people involved than me just asking Jennifer if it’s OK.”

“I believe she sent me to you, not just said ‘OK’.”

“Yes, but you get the point. A lot has changed in the last thirteen years. Or the last seven. Or the last two. Take your pick.”

“Yes, it has. May I put on my psychologist hat for a moment?”

“Do you ever take it off?” I teased.

“We talked about that. We HAVE to. Otherwise we’d drive ourselves crazy!”

“A very short drive in your case, Sweetheart!”

“Hah! My question is, are you still struggling with honoring your friendship to Nick?”

“I don’t think so,” I replied. “Abbie and I actually talked about that in the context of her relationship with Jason and how he was still acting as if he were married to Stephie. Abbie was quite annoyed with him because Stephie’s been dead for four years. I told Abbie that I understand how Jason felt. And THAT annoyed Abbie as well. She got on my case, probably rightly so, for a misplaced sense of honor and duty. And you know from when you were here that she finally helped Jason past that impediment.”