Chapter 13

“I’m your only friend.
I’m not your only friend.
But I’m a little glowing friend.
But really, I’m not actually your friend.
But I am.”
-They Might Be Giants, “Birdhouse in Your Soul“

Contessa-In-Reggenza Maria Louisa Francesca de San Finzione stood in the secure meeting room inside Castle Finzione. Night had fallen, the lockdown lifted, and tourists released two hours previously.

Stavro had been unable to contact his parents during the lockdown, due to a signal jammer being activated to prevent any unauthorized transmissions in or out of the castle. He didn’t want to leave Maria, but he needed to look in on them; and he would not be able to stay with her for the top-level meeting in any event.

He promised to return as soon as he made certain they were all right. Stavro refused the offered limousine home and back; as he didn’t care to take advantage of Maria’s status for himself. When Capitan Ortega and Sgt. Pappas; the Ultimado who’d tried to grab Stavro before linking up to form Maria’s human shield with him, offered to take him in apology and gratitude for his assistance in the park, he accepted that ride.

A pair of Ultimados flanked either door as the older men and women came filing in. Each of them approached La Contessa, shook or kissed her hand, and muttered assurances of prayers. Maria would nod, and then they’d go to the pitcher, pour themselves a glass of water, and hold it while they talked amongst each other. Maria might have thought it the world’s most boring cocktail party if the group of people weren’t supposed to be her top advisers. Her mind played over the words on the video that her Great-Grandmama had left her.

“If you haven’t had your first official meeting with your advisers yet, call it now.” Helena took a long drag of her cigarette before continuing. “They’re going to underestimate you. They underestimated me. The ones who didn’t see me as Vincenzo’s trophy wife, a gold digger, or a genetically engineered CIA Sex Assassin; check that one out sometime, there’re still conspiracy sites about it; saw a 23-year-old girl whose strings they thought they could pull.

“Some might show you disrespect. One guy even told me to my face that I was ‘just there until a true San Finzione heir is crowned.’ You’ve met Salvatore; the old fellow who works in the castle gift shop, putting the little plastic replicas of the tiara on the girls’ heads. I like the way he grumbles when I come in and bend down and ask the little girls if they’re the true San Finzione heir. He’s a far better tiara-fitter than he ever was Minister of Natural Resources, anyway. But yeah, smack that shit down with no hesitation.” Another long inhale of her cigarette before continuing.

“Now, unless I’ve taught you The Thing already, I’m afraid it’s going to be worse for you. They just thought I was a whore, but to them, you’re Little Maria! You’re the baby girl they remember toddling around the castle; the one who came up to them and sat on their knees. The one whose Great-Grandpapa would give her piggy-back rides in the garden.” She sniffed a little. “Who looked so cute and so brave saluting your parents’ coffins as they rolled through the marketplace.”

Helen leaned forward and held her head in her hands before saying the next part.

“The one rumored to be the young personal maid who engaged in secret rendezvous with La Contessa. That won’t help matters at all, and it’s my fucking fault, and watch disc 3 for my apology in full.

“This means that gaining their respect will be an uphill battle. I bet at least three of them will make empty offers of ‘If there’s anything I can do.’ Those are the predators in the room that you’ll need to identify immediately. Don’t be scared at all, just be aware of them.”

Maria had heard the offer seven times already.

“Here’s what I’d do if I couldn’t do The Thing, but not if it’s Ramirez; HE wouldn’t be late without a damn good reason, and I’m pretty sure he’ll be your biggest ally in there. Trust your own judgment, Dearest One, but here’s what Orson Welles would do on the first day of a new movie so everyone knew from Day One not to fuck with him...”

Maria looked around the room at the men and women in suits. La Contessa’s advisers, and now hers. Generalissimo Ramirez and the Prefect of La Policia entered together.

“Who is not yet here?” Maria asked loudly enough to get everyone’s attention. The conversation took a moment to die down as everyone looked around the room. “It does not matter.”

She turned to the Ultimados at the door.

“Seal the room,” Maria told them. “I called this meeting forty-seven minutes ago. Anyone not yet here is fired!”

The room stopped and turned around. Even the Ultimados were stunned by the words that all of them were hearing in the voice of dear, sweet Lady Maria. Some wanted to tell her that it would be a big mistake, before seeing the serious look in her eyes. Her mouth opened again before anyone else’s.

“Did your Contessa say ‘please?’”

Ramirez immediately stood to attention and saluted.

“No, Contessa. Nor does she have to.” He turned to the Ultimados with a severe look while pointing to Maria. “You answer to myself and to La Contessa de San Finzione. Your Contessa has just given you an order. Must I do so as well?”

The Ultimados saluted and exited the room, joining the pairs that were already flanking the outsides of the two doors, to turn away latecomers as the doors to the room sealed. Ramirez nodded to Maria; she nodded back.

Maria walked to her chair at the head of the table, and all the others assembled except the Generalissimo went for their own seats. She pulled the chair away from the table to sit but stopped before doing so; forcing everyone else, including those who’d already begun sitting, to stand back up.

“Nobody sits until La Contessa sits,” Helena’s instructions had told her. “Remember that. Some of these people are old and have bad knees. It’s cruel, it’s petty; it’s an advantage, and a quick way to remind everyone who’s in charge. Use it!”

Maria leaned against the chair and armrest and spoke again.

“A few of you served my Great-Grandpapa.” She paused while a chorus of forever does he reign in our hearts went around the table. “And all of you have served my Great-Grandmama.” The odd murmur went around the table. “You all know me, too. I have memories of sitting on some of your knees, being given candy when you came to do business with Great-Grandpapa. We would all like to have his guidance now.”

She sat. The others took their cue. Generalissimo Ramirez finally walked to his seat by her left side and took his chair. Maria continued.

“If Great-Grandmama were to walk through that door right now, I would happily give this seat back to her. I am to be fitted for La Contessa’s tiara in the morning, in case I am needed to serve permanently. I would love nothing more than to cancel that appointment; however, I can assure you that when that little girl was not running through the castle, she was being taught by two of the greatest rulers that San Finzione has ever had. Taught her whole life to serve the people as well as the ones who will forever reign in all of our hearts. I hoped it would be many years before I needed to do so, however, make no mistake; if this is my time, I am prepared to face it.”

Everyone around the table nodded silently. Maria’s usual smile, tempered with the seriousness of the task ahead, returned.

“What can you tell me? We’ll start with the Prefect of La Policia.”

The Prefect stood to attention and saluted his Contessa.

“Forensics reports fragments of glass and the plastic stopper of a vial found roughly where the assassin was standing. Whatever liquid it contained had evaporated. The fragments are being sent to the Ministry of Science for further analysis, though, from it’s condition, not much is to be expected. Identification on the body names him as Carlos Jimenez of the Basque region. An airplane boarding pass indicated that he arrived in San Finzione six hours previously. We believe the identification to be a forgery, however, are checking hotels to get a possible CCTV trace.”

La Contessa nodded. Ramirez leaned over and whispered to Maria.

“The Minister of Science is currently sequestered with a number of his people on a special project for your Great Grandmother, Contessa. This is why he was unable to attend. He very possibly has not even heard the news about her.”

Maria turned to him.

“Thank you, Generalissimo. While we are talking, what do you have to report?”

Ramirez stood to give his report properly.

“I have been with Contessa Helena most of the day. Tenente Maisson, one of the Ultimados who dispatched the assassin; was a field medic who has recently obtained his degree. I contacted the Ministry of Medicine and got his medical license application expedited through the process. Dr. Tenente Paul Maisson is now part of La Contessa’s medical team and is keeping me updated. I am presently awaiting a call from an old friend with Interpol who may be able to help identify the assassin.”

Maria took in the information and nodded.

“Thank you, Generalissimo. You may be excused if that call comes during the meeting. Let’s hear from the Minister of Intelligence now.”

The man stood.

“The usual groups are claiming credit for the attempt on La Contessa’s life. We are checking up on all credible leads. Based on the assassin’s seeming knowledge that she would be appearing on the tour today, we are investigating any possible security leaks as well. Intelligence channels have reported no indication of a follow-up attack, but we are still monitoring for the possibility.”

Maria nodded and gestured for the man to sit again.

“I will be expected to address The People soon,” Maria said to the table. “I will be asked questions, I must have immediate answers. Most will probably be about how we will handle matters without Contessa Helena, so you’re each going to give me one question that is likely to be asked about how the situation affects your ministry, and then you will give me a concise answer. Starting with you.”