Introduction

Devon Buchanan looked out across the Starbucks and saw an old friend; a boy named Michael Sullivan. Devon had been out of town for some time. Michael was sitting alone at a table nursing a coffee. Thinking about him and what he’d heard Devon decided to drift over and see what was up. They’d been good friends once; maybe, he figured he could offer some advice. Devon dropped a couple dollars on the counter, picked up his brew and walked over.

As he crossed he took in the appearance of his old friend. He certainly looked different from what he remembered; the skinny, almost frail boy had filled out. He wasn’t fat; just well built. It looked like he spent time in the gym. He was wearing what was clearly not a Walmart tie, his slacks and white shirt shouted ‘upscale’ and money. The sport coat hanging on the back of his chair probably cost a little bit of change. He saw Michael was fiddling with what he recognized as one of those ‘state of the art’ portable computers. Devon wondered if it was true; had Michael made it?

As he got to Michael’s, it had been Mike when they were in school he saw him look up.

Michael exclaimed, “Devon! Jesus I haven’t seen you in like it seems forever. Where’ve you been?”

Devon kept his coat on. He sat down, “Oh here and there. How’ve you been?”

Michael said, “Oh pretty good I guess; been in school, married, got a kid.”

Devon took a sip of coffee, “I heard. They say you married the Campanaris girl. Celine was her name. Right?”

“Yeah, that’s right, Celine Campanaris. Say did you ever get married?”

Devon took another sip, “No I’ve been around though, he shifted in his seat, “Heard it hasn’t been all sunshine and light for you. Had some ups and downs. What happened?”

“Oh you know. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, get married, have a kid, another guy shows up, things get screwed up.”

Devon didn’t smile. He took another slug of his java, “What’re you drinking there. Looks like a Latte. Want another?”

“Sure,” Michael replied, “as long as you’re buying.”

Devon smiled, “I’ll buy, but if I do, I’d like you to fill me in.”

Michael eyed his old friend. Devon had always been one of the good guys. He’d been gone for some time; he’d probably leave again, maybe for good. What the hell? Mike said, “It’s not real pretty. I mean not all hearts and flowers, some that’s pretty good though.”

Devon waved at the waitress and pointed toward their coffees, “Go ahead Mike. I’d like to hear it.”

And so Michael began...

“Devon I did marry the Campanaris girl. I’d always liked her, and when my brother moved out to join the navy I took my shot.”

“That’s right,” said Devon, “Celine and your brother, David wasn’t it, they were an item back in the day.”

“Yeah they were. First love and all, you know. She and My brother dated off and on in high school. David’s two years older than me, and three years older than Celine. She was crazy about him; it tore her up when he took off.”

“So you stepped in?”

“Not right away. Oh I’d always had a thing for her, but she was David’s girl. I guess you’d say I had a crush on her, but to her I was ‘the kid brother’.”

Devon commented, “But you did get married?”

“Celine was lonely. She kept coming by the house. You know she’d stop in and see my mom and dad to find out if they’d heard anything, but David never wrote or called or anything. He was off seeing the world, or at least that’s what we all thought.”

“What David wasn’t seeing the world?”

“Couldn’t say Devon. Still not sure. I only know he was gone. We never heard, but Celine kept coming around. I was a senior, she was a junior. She had her junior prom and I had my senior prom. Now you know I never had a lot of luck with girls, not like David.”

“Yeah, I remember your brother.”

“Doesn’t everybody? He told me once dating girls and getting in their pants was like looking for a job. You just kept asking till someone said yes.”

“Celine said yes to your brother.”

“No exactly. Celine said yes she loved him. She said yes she’d marry him, and she’d go with him, but Celine was a good Catholic girl. You’re Catholic; know what that means.”

“Oh yeah,” responded Devon, “no premarital sex.”

“Yeah to the say least, I was pretty sure Celine held my brother to it. I suppose he got tired of it. I know he was dating her, even gave her his class ring, but he was cutting out on her too. He was eighteen, and he’d found himself a bored housewife. Sometimes I think that’s why he skipped out.”

“You mean the husband found something out?”

“Maybe I don’t know. All I know is David split and left poor Celine with a broken heart.”

“So you helped her out.”

“I hadn’t planned on it, but I guess that’s how it worked, off and on anyway.”

Devon took a sip of coffee, “I see.”

“I didn’t. Wished I had, then again. I don’t know. It’s tough you know? Me being a worrier and all.”

“So what happened? I mean what really happened?”

Michael sat back in his chair, “Get me another coffee and one of those scones Devon and I’ll tell you the whole story.”

Devon waved at the waitress, went over, got the stuff and came back ... Michael began.

Well David took off, joined the navy, or so he said, and that was the last anybody saw or heard from him for years.

Celine was devastated. She was crazy about my brother. Hell most girls were, but Celine was different. She was sort of delicate; an exemplary student she shied away from sports or the sports kids. Celine spent more time in the library and in church than anything. Other kids wore provocative clothes. Tight jeans, short skirts, the ‘come see me’ blouses. Not Celine, she was always prim and proper.

Well right after David disappeared she started coming around to see my mom and dad. She’d hang around and talk. Pretty soon she and I were talking. I was a nerd like her; we had a lot in common. I thought so anyway.

It was funny how she’d act. Whenever she saw me her face would light up; she’d get real excited, and she’d giggle and run around like she was a squirrel. I might have been mistaken but it was like whenever I saw her out someplace on her own she’d be wearing what I’d call frumpy stuff, like too large sweat shirts and sloppy looking sweat pants, but whenever she came over or whenever she knew she’d be seeing me she’d have on something real pretty. By pretty don’t mean necessarily sexy; I mean cute and perky. She have on a cute miniskirt and some kind of soft looking button up blouse. The blouses were all casual, but they were kind of what I’d call innocently alluring. I mean they looked, they made her breasts, well, you know...

Celine had the longest, blackest, thickest, and waviest hair I’d ever seen. I’d see her out and it’d be up in some functional toppy thing, but around me it was either down and combed out or in some long braid that showed off her long neck and pretty ears.

All men are egoists, but I really think she dressed to impress me. I know I liked being around her. She could be so funny and cheerful. That cheeriness was almost all the time. The only times I ever saw her get morose or sad looking was when someone mentioned my brother; then she’d get quiet, her eyes would get extra-large, and she’d act like someone just ran over her dog. I know I really liked her. I wished I’d have met her first. Anyone could she was carrying a torch for David.

Oh and I loved the way she smelled. She had these odors. I k now I’m not good at this. She wore some kind of perfume; Chanel or something, and her hair was always washed and it smelled so ... I can’t say, like fresh, and then her breath. I think she had one of those squirt things that people use to spray their mouths. I know she did because I saw her turn around and squirt her mouth. I know when we started dating and I kissed her she always tasted good. She had the softest lips.

It was wintertime. I was in my senior year. I’d always liked Celine. Hell I admit it; I’d been day dreaming about her from day one. I was crazy about her, but I was the little brother; older than her, but still definitely second string if I was on the team at all.

Like I said it was wintertime. Celine had plenty of opportunities to date, but she kept hanging around my house. What the hell, I asked her out. She agreed.

That’s how it began. I was madly in love. She saw me as her window into my family, and maybe a playmate.

We dated all spring. Nothing happened; maybe some light petting, a few furtive gropes over the blouse, a casual rub on the outside of her panties, but nothing serious.

We went to her junior prom, and then my senior. To the casual observer we looked like we were deeply in love, but a closer look might have revealed a slightly different picture. For me it was Celine, Celine, Celine, but for her it was more ‘down boy’, ‘watch it’, and ‘keep your distance’. I wasn’t discouraged because that’s the way she been with David. Celine was a good girl.

I graduated and got accepted at the local four year commuter’s college. It was and is an excellent school. I had always been good at math so I went right after a double major; one in business and a second in technology. For sure the math wasn’t some kind of automatic springboard to success, but I learned math required more than just analytical thought, any subject required that. No math required a steady diligence, a day to day persistence not as important in the liberal arts.

I was smart. I was good, and I was determined. I also was still head over heels in love, and I still lived at home.

Celine kept coming around, but by the time I’d started my freshman year in college I was convinced she was coming around for me. I still believe that.

Celine graduated right on time, and I took her to her prom. By then nobody could’ve missed the connection. Big brother was history.

My freshman year had been the result of three years of accumulated savings, but during the summer between my freshman and sophomore year I had to work extra hard to have enough money for the fall. I just didn’t have the time to date and run around with the kids. Celine wanted to play. She was a damned fine looking girl; two piece bathing suits were made for her.

I have to admit it; things were as much my fault as hers, but she just wanted to run and I had to work. I found one of the things I was good at was tutoring. I picked up a couple tutoring gigs; girls mostly. I mean it was strictly business for me, but Celine might not have seen it the same way. She told me she wanted to date other boys.

A lot of guys are like my brother; they’re in the hunt all the time. I’ve never been like that. I thought with Celine I’d found the girl of my dreams; the girl I would spend the rest of my life with. It’s like this; some dogs will go with anyone who has food, others would rather starve than leave their master. I was a one woman dog. It was Celine or nobody.

So about the time I was tutoring she broke things off and started to date around. Shit, pretty soon when I wasn’t working I was home moping around. If I did get out, which wasn’t very often, I’d invariably see her. I think she knew, hell I knew she knew my habits. Wherever I was she seemed to show up. Talk about gut wrenching; she’d be out with last year’s football star or the current college big shot. He’d be kissing and hugging and squeezing all over her. I couldn’t handle it; I’d end up walking out, just leaving. My friends told me whenever that happened she usually cooled toward the guy she was with and went home early herself. That’s kind of what kept me going; I mean kept me on the line. I believed she loved me; she was just being shitty.

Well to make a long story short I gave up. I figured if she didn’t know why I was working, and who I was working for then she could forget it. Oh I was working for myself, but I also felt like the better I did, and that meant college, then the better it was for her. I was serious about the little tart.

I started looking around; if she could date I could date. To my surprise there were lots of girls who were interested in me. It sure didn’t take long and I had a new girlfriend. Her name was Marge Vogel. She was pretty, she was smart, and she was a little bit serious about me. In fact she told she’d been interested in me since we were both in high school. I did think that was kind of strange since we’d attended different schools, but she explained that she’d met a friend who knew me and she’d been eying me ever since.

I was just twenty and still cherry. Marge wasn’t, and she showed me what life was all about. We were in my car one night and she and I were in a clinch. She reached down, pulled open my fly, and fumbled around with my underpants till she got my penis out. I was rock solid hard. She took it in her hand and started to stroke it. Before I knew what was happening she had her head down and was sucking me off like crazy. I shot my load right in her face. She didn’t complain or pull away or anything. She just kept sucking and licking all over me. Even as I started to wither away, I mean lose my hard on, she kept licking and kissing on it.

Well what did I know? Before I knew it I was up again. She sat up and said, “We can’t stay here.”

I asked, “Where do you want to go?”

Marge said her sister was married and they had a house. We could go there, and that’s where we went. Her sister had a pretty nice place; three bedrooms and a club cellar. We went to the cellar where Marge pulled out a day bed, and that was that.

Marge and I stayed together the rest of the summer. She didn’t pressure me about work; we hooked up whenever I was off. Often I ended up sleeping with her right at her sister’s.

I liked Marge; I thought she was a lot of fun, but I knew she wasn’t really the one for me, not for the long -term. When the summer ended Marge told me she was off to Ohio State. I felt bad. I told her I’d miss her. She said she’d miss me too, and with that she was gone.

Marge did a lot for me. In the ways of women and sex she’d become my teacher, but school was back in and I had to get on with my life. I thought of Marge a lot, but it was Celine who I really missed.

Celine had graduated, but never went on to college. She got a job selling tools at Lowes. I knew that was where she worked because she still stopped by my parent’s house once in a while. When she did we didn’t talk, and from I heard from my mom she never asked about David either. Mom said Celine kept asking discreet question about what I was doing and if I was seeing anyone. My mom also told me Celine told her she was seeing some guy who worked in the electronics department at Sears and that he was a real catch.

That’s when some funny stuff started happening.

I was in college, it was my sophomore year, and the grades were good but my mom decided she wanted someone to repaint the house. My dad couldn’t do it because of his back so the honor fell to me. Mom said I could do it part-time while I wasn’t studying or in classes. To keep me from working she started giving me money from her paycheck. I was supposed to paint the house.

Painting the house meant buying paint and the supplies. There was a local Hardware, but mom never liked the guy who owned it. Mom said even though his prices were a little cheaper not to buy anything there. She said he’d tried to corner her once back in the day. Mom was also dead set against Home Depot too. She said they had the wrong colors. We ended up going to Lowes.

Of course all these stores, Lowes, Home depot, whatever, are laid out the same way. Right across from the paint department was the tool section where Celine worked. Mom and her must have had it planned since the only time mom had time to go to Lowes to look at the colors was when Celine was working. I’d drive mom over. She’d start looking at and talking about colors with the paint guy, but not before she told me to just take a break and walk around the store. I never got very far before Celine was at my side.

She must have always gone on her break when she saw me because it was like she was always available. We’d talk a little. She’d show me the good buys, and tell me about who she was dating. Then one day; it was me and mom’s third trip when Celine got me beside the power saws and told me she’d stopped dating around and was ready to settle down.

She said it like this. Fiddling with a concrete blade for a circular saw she said, “You know Michael I’m through running around. I’m ready to settle down.”

I walked down to where the files were. She followed me, and standing beside the electric sanders she said, “Did you hear me. I’m ready for you now.”

I picked up a sander and answered, “I was ready before but you ran off. How do I know you’re sincere now?”

She turned me around. I was skinny and that was easy. She put her hands on my elbows and said, “Oh I’m ready Michael. I really am.”

I wasn’t sure. I guess the big question was David so I said, “What about my brother?”

She said, “What about him?”

I said, “Oh come on I know the only reason you dated me before was because you wanted to be nearby in case he came back. I don’t think you loved me then, and I’m sure you don’t love me now.”

She squeezed my elbows. She leaned up and whispered, “OK I did date you because you’re David’s brother, it’s you I love now.”

I told her, “I don’t believe you.”

She said, “Honestly I did used to think about David when I was out with you. And to tell the truth I still think about him sometimes, but Michael it’s like I just said. I love you now.”

I still wasn’t so sure, “You know for me to believe that I’m going to need a real commitment; something that shows me you really do love me.”

She answered, “Take me out and I’ll prove it to you.”

I said, “OK, how about next Friday night?”

She leaned up and gave me a quick kiss, “Friday night,” she said, and just like that she scampered away.

I went back to where mom was. She’d already finally ordered all the paint she wanted. I asked her, “Did you pick the colors you wanted?”

She smiled and said, “Yes sweetie I did. They’re right here.”

I looked down and she had four five gallon pails of white paint on a cart. I said, “Mom they’re all white.”

She said asked me, “Did you and Celine patch things up?”

I looked at her and just said, “Shit.” We loaded the paint and went home. I started painting the house but never really finished.

Celine and I started dating again, but she wasn’t into making the kind of commitment I wanted. I’d had Marge and knew what I wanted. Finally after our third date I confronted her, “Celine I want more than just a tit. I want something I can really enjoy.”

She smiled and said, “How about a hand job?”

My first thought was fuck that. I want the real thing, but then I thought where did that comment come from? I told her, “Hell no! I want more than that, a lot more.”

She got all befuddled acting and said, “I could maybe suck you off.”

The red flags went up then. I said, “Celine if you love me you’ll give me what I really need.”

She whispered, “No I can’t do that.”

I said, “Why not?”

She said, “Not before we’re married.”

I was getting pissed and told her, “No I can’t wait.”

She broke down then, “If I gave it up to you then you’d know.”

‘Shit, ‘ I thought. I said, “Know what?” I watched her as she started to cry. I wasn’t sure. I didn’t think they were real tears. I’d learned that much.

She was crying, or pretending to, when she said, “I can’t let you have it. I don’t have it anymore,” then she really did start to cry.

I said, “What is this big ‘it’ you don’t have any more?” I knew what ‘it’ was, but I seriously didn’t believe she’d sold out.

She collapsed, “Tommy Sheldon got me.”

“Got you?” I wasn’t giving in an inch.

She wailed, “Oh Michael you know. Tommy Sheldon took my cherry this past summer,” she started talking fast, as fast as I ever heard her, “I was so mad at you. You started dating that whore Marge Vogel. I knew what you two were doing. I swore I’d get even, but the only way I could was, was to ... you know...”

No I didn’t know. I told her, “That’s bullshit. You let Tommy Sheldon fuck you because he had a membership at the swim club. He fucked you because he had a new car. Besides I know the truth. David got you before he left.”

She stopped crying, “No Tommy sort of got me, and yes it was because I wanted to go swimming every day, but David never got me. Oh Michael you hate me now don’t you? I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you. I’ll be your girl from now on. I’ll do anything you want.”

We weren’t far from her house when all this went down so I said, “You’ll do anything?”

She wiped her eyes and said, “Anything. I’ll do whatever you want.” She leaned forward to kiss me, “I love you Michael, only you.”

I said, “You’ll do anything?”

“Anything Michael. You can even have my ass.”

I thought, ‘What the fuck?’ I said then, “If you’ll do anything,” she was nodding her head yes, I said, “Then get the fuck out of my car and never speak to me again!”

She stopped, “Michael?”

“Go find Tommy Sheldon, or whoever you last fucked. Fuck everybody at Lowes, but just get the fuck out of my God damn car!”

She leaped back and away, “Michael you don’t ... you can’t...”

I yelled at the top of my lungs, “Get the fuck out of my car!”

She got out and I burned up the street getting away from her. I found an older friend. He bought me fifth of Jack Daniels and I proceeded to get as drunk as I could. I realized what I’d done. I’d done the one stupidest thing no guy should ever do. I’d saved the stupid whoring bitch for somebody else. All those God damned times we were so close and I pulled back because she’d whimper or say something. Good old fucking Tommy Sheldon never pulled back. No sir! And I bet a dozen other guys never pulled back either! I was one stupid moron. Never again. I’d never let that happen again. I’d find and fuck everything I could. Fuck Celine. Fuck Tommy Sheldon. Fuck my mom, well not her, but fuck everybody else, and for sure fuck David wherever he was.

I went to work; not just at school, not on painting my parent’s house, not on some shit assed part-time job, and for sure not for Celine, never Celine. I started my great quest. I was going to find and fuck every girl I knew, had known, or would ever know. I thought about that big black guy who played for that NBA team who said he’d fucked 20,000 women. Well shit! I never played basketball, not that well anyway, but I bet I could fuck a measly 20,000 women.

From that day forward I made it my mission to ‘get’ as many girls as I could. It didn’t take me long to find out how easy it was. First, as it turned out I was pretty popular. Maybe Marge had left a note on a bathroom wall somewhere before she left. Maybe the girls actually liked me, or maybe all the women out there were just as horny, as promiscuous, and as amoral as Celine. I did what my brother told me. I treated dating and fucking like I was looking for a job. If one turned me down I just moved on to the next.

Pretty soon I had a bevy of regulars; girls, and some older women who I could count on. Some liked it slow with lots of affection, others liked it hard and fast, while a few others needed to be wined, dined, and told how special they were. I didn’t care. I did them all.

Disease? Was I worried about disease? Sure. Wasn’t everybody? That’s why they sold rubbers. I was careful. For me it wasn’t so much the sex, or the fun of it, it was mostly about getting even. I didn’t know or care who I was paying back; I only knew I had to spear as many twats as I could.

This went on for weeks, months even. However, even the most licentious man, the worst libertine gets tired after a while. Sex that is the fucking, blow jobs, jamming my dick up girls’ asses gets tiresome after a while. I had to admit it; I was kidding myself. Still I would’ve have probably gone on until I either caught something or some husband or boyfriend caught me.

What stopped me was Celine. Well not exactly Celine, but my mom and a late Friday night phone call. I’d been to my classes and already stopped at the bowling alley where I’d picked up a girl I knew. Who it was didn’t matter; we both got off in the back of my old Chevy S10 Blazer. I’d taken her home, kissed her goodnight, and driven home to clean up for work the next morning.

I was upstairs taking a shit when I heard the phone ring. I didn’t know where my cell was. I think it was downstairs someplace, but that time of night phone calls were usually for me. I was wiping my ass with the Charmin when my mom called upstairs. She said I needed to get out to Bear Creek Road pronto.

I yelled down and asked her why.

She yelled back that Celine was out there and needed a ride home. I yelled down and told mom to tell her she could find someone else.

Mom yelled back up that she was crying, almost hysterical. She said some guy took her out there and tried to rape her, she’d fought him off, but that she was pretty messed up and her parents weren’t home.

Celine was an only child, and a spoiled one at that. If her parents weren’t home, and she was desperate enough to call my parents then she must be in a pretty bad fix. I yelled down and told my mom to tell Celine I’d be out as soon as I could.

My mom yelled back that I should hurry since it sounded like Celine was really off.

Well I’m not going to say I didn’t hurry because I did, but I sure didn’t want to. It was pretty lonely out around Bear Creek Road; it crossed several streams, and I knew of at least one old bridge that had been brought down by flooding over the last few years. I had no idea where exactly I was going. It took me about a half hour to get to the road, and I must have driven around for an hour before I found her. Brother was she a mess!

Bear Creek Road is one of those old country paths that carve up the back country around the southwestern part of our state. The region is lightly populated, heavily forested, and not the best place for a city girl like Celine to be lost.

I found her. She didn’t look like she was hurt much; mostly her self-esteem I guessed. I asked her, “What the hell are you doing way out here?”

She was behaving all confused and disoriented but she managed to tell me a little. She said, “I don’t know exactly. I’m sure glad you came. I knew you would. I can’t remember. I think I was with Tommy and he wanted to show me a fishing spot he’d found.”

I couldn’t believe any of the shit she was piling on me, “Celine that’s all bullshit. You hate fishing. Christ I can’t think of the times I begged you to go with me. You always had some excuse.”

She looked all bewildered, “I don’t remember. We were at a dance. Tommy belongs to a club or something. He wanted me to go with him. There were a lot of kids at first, but then I looked around and all the girls were gone. It was just like five or six boys. We weren’t at the dance. I don’t remember going any place. They all wanted me to dance for them. I got scared and started yelling I think. I really can’t remember.”

Celine’s not a very good liar, and she sounded garbled and all at odds with herself. I asked her, “Did you have anything to drink. Did you eat anything?”

She was sitting on her ass in the mud on the side of the road. She didn’t act like she wanted to get up. She said, “I think I had some wine. I might have had something else. It tasted sweet. They gave me some food too. I don’t remember what it was, but it tasted garlicky.”

That’s when I saw the unmistakable traces of semen on her blouse. Jesus that made me mad. She wasn’t being helpful, but it sounded like either Tommy or one of his friends had given her something. If this had been the Celine from a few months ago I’d have sworn she’d never have taken anything, but this girl was like no one I knew. It sounded like someone had loaded her up with Ecstasy or worse that Molecular stuff, that Molly. Ecstasy would have been enough, but had it been a good dose of Molly she, or I should say we’d be lucky she was still alive.

I leaned down and helped her up. She didn’t seem any the worse for wear except for a few bruises, some torn clothes, and a little mud. I could see where someone had tried to get her bra off, and her slacks had been torn. I guessed she must have put up a pretty good fight; a good enough fight to scare off the likes of Tommy Sheldon. I looked around and found her purse. I used my cell phone to call hers and found it near a puddle in the ditch beside the road.

I was no linebacker or anything, more a skinny Lance Armstrong I guess, but I managed to pick her up and carry her to my car. I laid her in the back and covered her with the comforter I’d just used myself with another girl a few hours earlier. I took my handkerchief, spit on it, and wiped the grime off her face. By the time I’d done that she was already fast asleep. I hopped in behind the wheel and drove her back to my parents.

My mom was up waiting for us when I got back with Celine. Mom took one look at her and nearly got hysterical. Dad was up; he calmed mom down while I brought in Celine and put her on the living room sofa. She was still fast asleep. It was then I got really worried.