Chapter 28

I woke up alone and heard the shower running. I stared at the ceiling and wondered if I’d made a mistake. Then Bethany came back to my room wrapped up in one towel while she dried her hair with another. The smile when she saw me awake reassured me. Then she dangled her damp hair in my face with a big grin before giving me a quick kiss.

“You wouldn’t wake up, so I showered without you,” Bethany said. She flipped her hair back and continued to work it with the towel.

“I never sleep in,” I said as I swung my legs off the bed and stretched.

“I’m sure it’s okay this once,” she chuckled. “Are you hungry? I’m starved.”

Joe and Mark were already in the kitchen drinking coffee when we made it downstairs. During breakfast the four of us kept up a happy front for my parents. Then we all worked together to clean the kitchen before Mom and Dad headed out to spend the day together at an art festival.

When we’d put the dishes away, Bethany begged me to make the call to the clinic for her appointment. After I hung up the phone, I picked up the notes I’d made. Bethany was chewing on a fingernail, watching me walk over with wide eyes. I sat down next to her on the couch while Joe and Mark looked on.

“The appointment is Friday after school. That way you can come over here and stay with us for the weekend while you recover.”

“Is it going to hurt?” Bethany whispered.

“The nurse said they’ll give you something to help you relax. You may have some bad cramps during and after, but she said it shouldn’t be any worse than your period.”

Joe and Mark looked at each other with grim expressions on their pale faces.

“I’m so sorry,” Mark said to Bethany.

She let out sad chuckle. “It’s my own fault. You tried to tell me it was a bad idea. And I wasn’t all that careful after that.”

“I should have pulled out right after and held onto the condom like I was supposed to,” Joe said.

“But I’m the one who held on to you and wouldn’t let you do it,” Bethany said and wiped the tears spilling down her cheeks. I pulled her closer with one arm and held her while she cried.

She and I might be okay, but Joe was watching Bee sobbing on my shoulder with a look of anguish on his face. I think he stayed over at Mark’s house to avoid hearing anything that might have happened between us. I found it ironic that he had had no problem forcing me to listen to them for weeks. He saw me staring at him and looked away.

Bethany took a deep shuddering breath and sat back to wipe her face again. “I can’t think about this anymore. What can we do that’s fun?”

“We can swim over at my house,” Mark suggested. “Mason has an away game so the house will be empty until late tonight.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said.

“Can I borrow that swimsuit again?” Bethany asked me.

“Sure,” I said. She got off me and we both stood. “Meet you guys over there?”

Mark nodded, then he and Joe headed out while Bee and I went upstairs.

I pulled out both swimsuits and tossed my old one to Bethany. We both stripped down and changed in silence. I’d lost some weight because my suit didn’t fit as well. I was adjusting it to cover everything when I heard Bethany.

“Shit.”

One glance showed the problem. Her boobs had grown. She was still smaller than me, but the last time she wore this suit her boobs didn’t hang out the sides.

“Ah, the hormones,” I noted. “Don’t worry about it. Both guys have seen you naked before. Hell, you could skinny dip if you wanted to.”

The look she shot me wasn’t amused. “Considering my situation, I don’t want to encourage them.”

“Why not,” I said as I folded my clothes and left them on the bed. Bethany was just staring at me. “It’s not like you can get more pregnant. And besides, you’ve got to know Joe is still hung up on you.”

“But I thought you didn’t ... I mean ... you and me,” she stammered.

“Do you still like him?” I asked, cutting through the bullshit.

“Yeah,” she said and looked down at her twisting fingers.

“Maybe it’s real, Bee. I never expected to find what I did with Sam. Maybe he’s your Sam. What kind of person would I be to stop you from finding out?”

That made her eyes fill with tears. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“It was my fault. I assumed you were serious about being my girlfriend.” The sad smile I gave her was answered with a hug.

“I thought we were just foolin’ around. It wasn’t until I saw you with Sam that I realized what I’d lost.”

I kissed her hair. “You’ll always be my best friend.”

“I like foolin’ around with you, but I really like Joe.”

“And ... I think I’m gay.” Saying it out loud made it real. Sam always knew for herself, but it had taken me a little time to work it out. I liked guys well enough. It’s just that I liked the way being with Sam and Bee made me feel.

“So Mark’s got no hope?” Bethany asked me and I shook my head. “He’s been holding out hope you’d give him another chance. I thought he’d blown it when you and Simon were hugging.”

“No, Simon is a great guy, but we both loved Sam. If we started anything, it would end up more about her than us.”

“Mark’s gonna be heartbroken.”

I shrugged. “In a way, I owe him. I don’t know how long it would have taken me to figure out if he hadn’t dumped me to go after Lydia.”

We finished getting ready and grabbed some towels, both of us lost in thought. I locked up the house and we walked down to Mark’s, slipping around the side of the house to the back entrance to the pool.

“So you’ll be okay if I try again with Joe?” Bethany asked before we got to the screen door.

“Yes,” I said and rubbed her shoulder. “Do what you need to do and I’ll still be your friend.”

“Thanks,” Bethany said as she shot me a relieved smile.

It didn’t take long for Bethany to pull Joe into the middle of the pool. She wrapped her legs around him and they were soon in a quiet conversation. That left me floating on my back while Mark tugged me around by my hands and feet.

“Looks like something’s happening over there,” Mark whispered to me.

The quiet sounds of water, birds, and wind had me relaxed. I cracked an eye to look over and saw Joe and Bee liplocked, his hands holding her up while hers held them together.

“Yup,” I murmured and closed my eyes again. Knowing they were working things out made me smile.

“You okay with it now?” Mark asked.

“Yeah,” I sighed. He was quiet for a minute as he continued to ease me around in circles.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he whispered. I’d been waiting for him to say something.

“Water under the bridge,” I said. “Nothing to be sorry about now.”

“So you forgive me?” There was a desperate edge to his tone.

I let out my air and sank through the water until I was standing up. Mark looked confused as he studied me. “I need to tell you something and I need you to understand this isn’t about you. It’s about me. Okay?”

“Okay,” he whispered with a frown.