Chapter 6: Più

When we were back outside, Carole hopped into the driver’s seat instead of me. She started the truck and we drove in silence for a minute.

‘Oh, my god,’ I finally breathed. ‘Did you ever expect that to be the reason they weren’t answering the phone?’

‘Never in a million years,’ she answered, strangely calm, eyes focused on the road. Her cheeks, too, were a fading crimson. ‘But it’s obviously not the first time they’ve done it, either; did you see just how comfortable they were with each other? The way they talked? I think that, maybe ... they’ve been doing this for a long time.’

‘You don’t seem freaked out,’ I commented, looking at her sideways.

‘We all have unique reactions to the same situations. Besides—why should I be, really? What was that thing again that you and I, dear cousin, were doing all morning?’ she said pointedly.

‘But—’ I sputtered.

‘So they’re our parents,’ she cut in, smoothly turning into a parking space and taking the keys out of the ignition, ‘but we’ve always known they’re sexual beings. Maybe it makes you feel strange to see the evidence in front of you, especially with the whole incest thing at the same time, but that would be hypocrisy, Caleb.’

‘And think of it like this,’ she said, looking at me with a huge Chesire cat grin, ‘we never need worry about getting their wrath over our choices, considering what they’ve been doing.’

‘Do you think ... they did it when my mother was alive, and your dad still lived with your family?’ I asked softly. This made her face fall as she considered it, raking a hand through her now-mussed blonde curls.

‘I honestly don’t know,’ Carole said slowly, expression conflicted. ‘We were a lot younger, then, and more was going on. Would we have even noticed? I’d have been thirteenish, and you just barely fourteen ... we were so preoccupied with other things. And more self-centered.’ She laughed, flushing a little. ‘Oh, and not to mention embarrassingly pubescent. That was the year I got my breasts.’

‘I didn’t notice,’ I said in a teasing tone. ‘But I did remember going through a lot of socks that year.’

This made a real, surprised laugh burst from her. I think we just maybe needed to laugh, anyway. We were alone in the lot, so when my cousin leaned in for a kiss, I gladly pulled her body close and pressed my soft lips to hers. Then I put my forehead on hers until we ran out of laughter and settled into quiet contemplation.

‘I don’t want to think that this ... this might be the reason my dad left,’ Carole finally said quietly. ‘Because what if it was? My mum and Uncle Mike have always been like really close. Your mum died that year. The stress and grief was huge. That year was, like, the year from hell. Maybe Uncle Mike went to mum for comfort, to his closest, oldest friend, and they ended up... ‘

‘Hm.’ The thought didn’t please me, either—my mother would have been dead less than a year when Carole’s dad left, roughly only seven months. Could dad really have done that, gone to his sister and consequently broken up Carole’s parents as well? It didn’t fit with the image of the man whom I admired, despite all the hard times and mistakes. But at what point do we really know our parents, anyway, past that innocent conception we made of them as a child? ‘Fuck, Carole, that would suck if it was the reason. I hate to admit there’s a real possibility it could be.’

‘Should we confront them about this?’ she asked in the softest of voices. ‘I think ... we’re old enough to know the truth, if there’s one we don’t know. We deserve to know.’

‘Yes.’ The past was coming to me now, all those things I’d worked so hard to move past; put away. I didn’t like it. ‘Okay, yes, let’s ask. But I don’t want to talk anymore about this now—please, Carole?’

She knew what was going on inside me. Probably felt something similar herself. So, she nodded and kissed me gently, and said, ‘Of course.’ Taking my hand, my cousin said gently, ‘What do you want to talk about, Caleb?’

I paused. ‘Tell me ... what living with you will be like. About classes you think I’d like. Your favourite places in town.’

Her face softened into a smile. We’d often dreamt together, and unlike many, this would be a dream we’d make true, so it was golden in our eyes.

‘Well,’ Carole began, ‘we’ll have to live in my tiny flat for a while, and look for somewhere bigger and affordable, but it’ll be cosy. We’ll cook meals together, sleep cuddled up every night, have lots of sex all over the place... ‘ her tone took on a slight teasing lilt. ‘In the shower, in bed, maybe in the kitchen if we can make the space.’ She laughed. ‘Then we’ll find a more spacious place to call home. As for classes ... there’s some ag ones you might be interested in. Botany, too. And more than that. I can show you the class list later.’

‘And your favourite places?’ I prompted, when she paused.

‘There’s a nice street in an historic neighborhood I like to walk down. And imagine I’d live there someday,’ she admitted with a laugh. ‘The houses are all gorgeous. There are all these old trees and lots of fruit trees and old perennials in the gardens ... so much history in those walls. I just can’t imagine not being happy there. There’s actually a café in one of them which is also a haunt of mine. I study there a lot, when I feel too cramped here and don’t want to go to the library.’