Chapter 35

Tiffany knocked on Hailey’s door and entered. Her busty blonde friend looked up from her desk with relief.

“Oh, thank God!” Hailey said, jumping up from the chair to hug her friend. “I was worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” Tiffany said, smiling and sitting in the other chair in the room.

“Where did you go?” Hailey asked. “I called everywhere. We even went over to see your brother. He said you’d stopped for a while and then left in tears.”

“I went to see Phil,” Tiffany said. She found it strange that she wasn’t nervous or scared about what she was about to reveal.

“Phil?” Hailey asked. There was a mixture of trepidation and longing in her voice. “Uh, how is he?”

“He was good,” Tiffany said. “Well, he started out really good; then he moved on to outstanding. By this morning he was absolutely amazing! I understand what all the fuss is about. That’s for sure.”

Hailey dropped back into her chair with a thud, her mouth open and look of anger on her face.

“You did not have sex with him!” she stated loudly.

“Well I sure got nailed by someone and he was the only one in the room with me,” Tiffany said with a laugh.

“How could you?” Hailey asked in a hurt voice.

“I took off my clothes; he took off his,” Tiffany said. “I lined him up and voila! It is a simple process when you think about it.”

“So you’ve just come here to gloat?” Hailey wondered. “I was worried to death about you and you were out screwing the guy I love!”

“I’m not here to gloat,” Tiffany said, coming over to kneel beside her friend. She put her hand on Hailey’s arm to comfort her. “That was a little over-the-top and I’m sorry. I wanted to assure you that I’m fine. Nothing that happened Friday – or yesterday or today – is going to change me. I’m not traumatized by either experience. I’m stronger for both of them.”

“But you know I love him,” Hailey insisted.

“And I know he loves you,” Tiffany added. “It was something we had to get out of the way.”

“Out of the way,” Hailey repeated.

“You’ve always been uncomfortable with how he and I interact,” Tiffany said. “You didn’t want to say anything to him because you didn’t want him to think you didn’t trust him; you didn’t want to say anything to me for fear I would over-react and go back to being a doormat. I saw that. The thing was, well, I didn’t want to stop. I don’t think he wanted to stop either. We liked the teasing and playing. Now we know. There is no mystery any longer. We know where we stand – and we did it standing and laying and kneeling and just about every other way you can think of. He is nothing if not versatile.”

Hailey was staring at her friend sadly.

“So you’ve made your move, then,” she said.

“There was no move,” Tiffany assured her. “I went over there because everything hit me harder than I thought. My brother was a complete tool, passing me off like a silly girl. I went to someone who has always taken me seriously – Phil. I told him what I was feeling and we talked for a long time about what was next for me and my family.

“Hailey, he didn’t know anything about this summer. He and his mother barely talk now. When they do it’s with anger and hurt in their voices. We rode through that family like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and I thought he deserved to know why.”

“I’d sure as hell like to know why, too,” Hailey grumbled.

Tiffany spent the next quarter hour explaining her observations and the theory she had developed. Hailey listened quietly, nodding at some points and shaking her head at others.

“Some of it is true,” she admitted at the end. “I don’t know that I was feeling threatened but I could have been. I think a part of that night was because I had tried to change without really understanding why I was doing it. I wasn’t sure if I was changing to suit Phil or to fight my mother or because I wanted to be a better person. I’m still not completely sure.”

“You’re changing because you know you have to change,” Tiffany said. “It is the same reason I’ve evolved. In order to live my life the way I want to, I can’t be a lapdog. That is not who my personality tells me to be – it’s just who I had been expected to be. It’s the same with you, I think. I could always see a hint of compassion under the surface. That’s why I was so drawn to you. Phil gave you a reason but you’re becoming the person you were meant to be from the start.”

“Maybe,” Hailey said. “It still doesn’t explain why you thought it was a good idea to fuck him.”

“I suppose it doesn’t,” Tiffany replied. “I wasn’t sure what to expect when I got to his door. I stood in his parking lot for a few minutes just crying. That old guy who lives next to him saw me and walked down. He remembered me, I guess. He told me I’d never know what Phil would say if I didn’t take the next step. He took my hand and led me upstairs. It was almost like my grandpa used to do, helping me to face what frightened me. I think I knew that if he sent me away we were done forever. Instead he saw me standing there with tears on my cheeks and invited me in.

“As he comforted me I saw a glimmer of hope for the first time in a long time. I saw that he might be open to listening to what I’ve been thinking about since we fucked up. I told him about the summer jobs we all got and that we’d all be living in the city. His mother hadn’t mentioned it or if she did he ignored her. I explained that because he and I kissed and fondled each other every time our paths crossed that a part of you rationalized that it was OK to do that with other people.”

“That is not true!” Hailey insisted.

“Oh, deep down you knew it was wrong,” Tiffany answered. “So did he and I. But it was what it was. You’ve known I’ve always been attracted to him. At the beginning it was his strong personality but it changed to something more the longer I was around him. He was attracted to me, too. Sooner or later one of us would have taken things too far.”

“Like you did last night!” Hailey huffed.

“No,” Tiffany said. “You’re not listening to me. He’s not your boyfriend any more, Hailey. We saw to that. You saw to that. He’s a man and I’m a woman. We’ve wanted to have sex with each other for weeks so we did. It was stimulating and it was satisfying. We both enjoyed it – a lot, I think. It was everything either of us ever thought it would be.

“And you know what? It wasn’t anything more than that. It wasn’t a love story that they will write songs about someday. The attraction we felt was sexual; it wasn’t romantic. That was something we didn’t know until we did it. When he looks at me, he sees a friend who he can sit around and talk to things about; when he looks at you, he sees someone he can see spending the rest of his life beside.”

“I still don’t understand,” Hailey admitted. “I mean, I understand the sexual attraction thing. I could see that. I don’t understand why you think it couldn’t be more. You’re just as good as I am. You would make a good partner for him, too.”

“A good partner?” Tiffany said. “Yeah, I suppose I would. But not the perfect partner. You’re his perfect partner – just like he’s yours. I can’t really put it into words. It’s like Molly. She wants to be attracted to him but she’s not.”

“She hides it well if she’s not!” Hailey mused.

“And that’s what it is,” Tiffany countered. “It’s an act. We all know that we’re supposed to like the handsome, sweet, rich guys but a lot of us don’t. We like the tattooed, motorcycle guys or some shit like that. I never really understood it because I’ve never been caught up in the ‘bad boy’ thing. But that’s the type she likes and she’ll have to live with it. I’m sexually attracted to him – maybe even more after I’ve experienced it – but emotionally he’s not what I’m looking for. He’s a friend to me just like he is to Katelyn. Nothing more than that.”

“Does this mean you plan to have sex with him again?” Hailey asked.

“No,” Tiffany answered with a smile. “I have had one night with two perfect lovers. I had a night with you and a night with him. I now have a standard for all my future partners – which probably will never include you or him, regardless of how it turns out. I know it breaks your heart to know you’ll never get your tongue in my kitty again but them’s the breaks, Toots. I know two things about myself that I didn’t know yesterday: I know what I’m looking for in a partner; and I know for certain that you love me. I’d never known real love until you came along and I didn’t understand it until I saw it in his eyes this morning. I think I needed that. I needed to understand.”

“I’m glad you do,” Hailey told her, joining Tiffany in sitting on the bed. “I want you to know that I still love you even though you’re a tramp. I guess I have no claim over Phil and I’m glad if he’s screwing someone it’s you and not that Kathy slut.”

“I suspect that by the middle of the week the only reconciliation we’ll need to work toward is you and him,” Tiffany said. “It’s a chore but letting him bang my tight little box for hours and hours on end will be worth it if it gets everyone back together.”

“Do you think Molly will want to sample the goods before I get another shot at making up with him?” Hailey wondered.

“No,” Tiffany said. “She might try to fuck him just to get laid but it’s no more than getting off. I don’t think she’ll risk the damage it could do. She’s smarter than that.”

“Smarter than you, you mean,” Hailey joked, nudging Tiffany with her elbow.

“He and I had already made up by that point,” Tiffany replied. “And I didn’t make the first move. I told him that he needed to learn to keep his hands off my awesome bod. He told me that he didn’t want to and then he proved it. I’m not ashamed of anything we did.”

“You shouldn’t be,” Hailey admitted grudgingly. “I’m glad you had a good experience. I’m sorry it wasn’t me.”

“I think next time it might be,” Tiffany said, putting her arm around Hailey. “But it can’t be something you rush into. You have to tell him when you’re feeling scared and when you’re feeling jealous. He can take it. He has to tell you when he disagrees with your decisions even if it means stepping over that ‘letting you be your own person’ line. If you both try to act like you did before it will end up the same way. That’s assuming you ever date exclusively again. You might just be friends who fuck. I can’t honestly say you’ll even get to the fucking part again.

“The reason I came here is because we let secrets and half-truths distort something really special and I don’t want to see that happen again. So if you have any questions about what happened last night I’ll answer you. If you don’t want to know anything more, I’ll never bring it up again.”