Chapter 17

Hailey groaned when her alarm clock buzzed at 10:30 a.m. She was face to face with her best friend, their nipples pressed together and their arms wrapped tightly around the other. Tiffany had skipped her two morning classes but she stirred when Hailey kissed her softly on the nose.

“I am completely fucked out,” Tiffany admitted.

“Can I have one more kiss?” Hailey asked.

“A small one,” Tiffany giggled. “I know where your mouth was last night, particularly there at the end.”

Hailey blushed brightly. Tiffany’s seventh orgasm of the night came while she was on her hands and knees on the bed. Hailey knelt behind her and tongued her asshole as she sawed a small pink dildo through Tiffany’s pussy.

If Tiffany had any unfulfilled fantasies that didn’t involve a man she couldn’t think of them. She had even managed to break in the strap-on phallus that she’d purchased during a trip home at Christmas. She had always assumed that she would be on the receiving end but it hadn’t worked out that way. When she asked Hailey to let her fuck her with it, her friend had immediately rolled over and stuck her ass in the air. Tiffany hadn’t had enough rhythm to bring Hailey to an orgasm so she broke out another of her many sex toys – a small vibrator designed to be used exclusively on the clit – and got Hailey off that way.

The pair kissed lightly and broke apart.

“Are we good?” Hailey asked.

“I’m good,” Tiffany smiled. “I can’t speak for you.”

“Oh, you are good,” Hailey laughed. “I knew you were kinky as hell, girl, but I didn’t even scratch the surface of what you showed me last night. A strap-on? Where did that come from?”

“A sex shop in Crofton,” Tiffany said, blushing slightly. “It’s only a few blocks from my house if I run across the four-lane. I got everything we used last night there.”

“Did you get everything you wanted last night?” Hailey asked as she got out of bed. There were two dildos, a vibrator and a strap-on lying on the floor. Two bottles of lubricating gel sat on the table. The clothing the two young women had worn was scattered all over the place.

“Except a romp with your boyfriend, I did,” Tiffany said with a saucy grin.

“Behave or I’ll live out one of my fantasies!” Hailey said.

Tiffany threw the sheet off her to display her nakedness. Hailey was also nude, but she was bustling around so she could shower before she ran off to meet her boyfriend for lunch. She smiled at her.

“What fantasy is that?” she asked.

“Never mind,” Hailey said. “I have to have some secrets. Are you coming to lunch with me?”

“Nah,” Tiffany said. “You don’t need the competition. You’re going to have a hard enough time without me gazing at your guy with a look of longing.”

“God, you amaze me,” Hailey said. “I really worried that this morning would be ... awkward.”

“I’m adaptable,” Tiffany said. “I’ve had to be. I’m going to hold you to treating me as your equal.”

“I’m glad,” Hailey said. “I want a friend, not a follower.”

“I’m also going to flirt with you and Phil as often as I can,” Tiffany stated. “It’s not because I didn’t understand what you’ve told me or because I disagree with you. It’s because it makes me feel good about myself to know that you both think I’m sexy – plus it will keep you off balance.”

“You are sexy,” Hailey said, leaning in and kissing her friend on the cheek. She deftly pulled the sheet back over Tiffany’s nude form.

“So, you don’t wanna fuck before you run off to meet your breeder?” Tiffany asked with a laugh. “That’s a lesbian term. A breeder is a guy or a woman who likes men. There is a gay bar right next to the sex shop. Imagine that.”

Hailey rolled her eyes and watched as Tiffany rolled out of bed and pulled on her clothing from the night before.

“You can just stay here and sleep,” Hailey offered.

“Are you kidding?” Tiffany laughed. “This place smells like a bordello! You better open the window to air it out a little if you ever plan to bring guests back this semester.”

Hailey nodded, pulled on a robe to hide her nudity and pushed open the window.

“I want to ask you a serious question,” Tiffany said from where she sat on the bed. “Last night, the things you did ... you did them because you wanted to and not because you thought you had to or that you owed me something, right?”

The convenient lie hit Hailey’s brain instantly but she pushed it aside. This conversation, like the once the night before, called for truth.

“When you arrived at the door last night I was determined to go through with it regardless of what I wanted,” Hailey admitted. “I wasn’t really sexually attracted to women. I think you’re pretty and I like the way you look but it was not something I’d really spent much time thinking about since I was 13 or 14 years old.”

“I didn’t want you to do something you’re ashamed of,” Tiffany told her. Hailey was happy that the young woman wasn’t looking at her feet or the door. She was looking into Hailey’s eyes.

“I said I felt that way when I opened the door,” Hailey told her. “It changed after we shared the first kiss. At that point the affection I have for you took over. I was happy and willing to do the things we did because you were enjoying them so much. And I have to admit that I enjoyed them as much as you did.”

“All of them?” Tiffany pressed. “Even, uh, when I had you lick my butthole?”

“I was unsure at that point,” Hailey confessed. “I suspected that when you ran off the restroom a few minutes earlier it was to make sure everything was neat and tidy. I did it primarily because it was something that you’d done for me before. I am reluctant to admit this but I will: I have enjoyed it when you would lick me there. I thought you deserved to have the experience, too, so I did it willingly. I wasn’t coerced. If you had wanted to step into something I’m not comfortable with – say hitting me or peeing on me – I would have told you no. As it stands now, you and I are equals because there is nothing you have done to me that I haven’t willingly done back to you.

“Does that help you understand?”

Tiffany nodded thoughtfully before looking up at her friend and smiling.

“We’re not equal!” she said with a laugh that startled Hailey. “I did you with a strap-on!”

“And I did you with a different toy,” Hailey pointed out, putting her arm around her friend and hugging her. “I think we’re as even as we’re going to get.”

Tiffany’s underwear joined the sexual accessories back into the backpack where she stored them as she watched Hailey pace the room in her robe. She had opened her closet two or three times and her underwear drawer more often than that.

“Go shower,” Tiffany advised, “and stop fretting. Everything is fine. I’m going to head to my own room.”

Hailey nodded her agreement. She was accomplishing nothing in the room. At least under the hot spray of the shower she could wash away the smell of sex from her skin – and perhaps some of the fear and guilt that resided there, too.

She followed Tiffany out into the hallway and watched her friend walk up to her room. Tiffany reached her door, turned and smiled back at Hailey. Then she winked and lifted her T-shirt to flash her boobs at her. She disappeared into the door as Hailey walked into the bathing facility.

The feeling of trepidation that Hailey had felt since awakening hadn’t lessened even once she could no longer smell Tiffany’s scent on her skin. It was still 45 minutes before Phil would be free from class for the afternoon. She worried about how he would react when he saw her. Did he hate her now? Would he lose the trust she hoped he had in her? She couldn’t know until she saw him. She wondered if she would even know then. She had seen him treat people he disliked with courtesy and compassion. She wasn’t adept enough at gauging others’ emotions – because she rarely cared about them – to be certain she would able to tell if he now despised her.

She knew the night before had been necessary but it probably wasn’t necessary to carry on until almost four o’clock in the morning. She had decided she would tell him everything if he asked. She would tell him she let things run longer than necessary because she was enjoying the feelings her best friend was invoking. It wouldn’t make things easier for her but it might put his mind at ease that she wouldn’t lie about it.

She had dug around and pulled out a bra and a pair of panties before refolding them and putting them back in the drawer. She wasn’t sure how to dress for lunch. She could go with sexy to let him know she was still attracted to him or she could go with casual. She still wore only her robe when Tiffany knocked and entered, as was her habit. Her hair was wet and she also wore a robe.

“I thought you were going back to bed,” Hailey said, surprised.

“You’re scared about meeting Phil after last night,” Tiffany correctly interpreted. “I’m your friend and I’m here to support you. I’ll go with you to lunch. To be honest, I’m nervous about how he’ll view me now, too. I want to let him know that I enjoyed last night more than I can tell you but I do not expect a repeat of it in the future. If it happens, fine. If it happens and he’s there with us, I’m OK with that idea, too. If it never happens, we’re friends and we always will be. I mean all of us, Hailey – you, me and him. I want to someday have him think as much of me as it is obvious that you do. I think it will be best if we get it out of the way from the outset – not allow any doubt to linger.”

“You’re probably right,” Hailey said. “I’m not sure it will make much difference. I knew I faced the prospect of losing him. He told me he wasn’t sure how he’d feel about it until after it happened. I guess I can understand that. It’s hard to anticipate feelings. I know there are lots of things I thought I wouldn’t mind; well, it turned out I did once they came true.”

“You knew that and you still did it,” Tiffany said, hugging Hailey.

“I thought losing you was the more immediate threat,” she admitted. “Phil was so ... I’m not sure how to describe it.”

“He was so ‘Phil’ about it, huh?” Tiffany asked with a chuckle.

“I guess that’s the best way to describe it,” Hailey said, returning the small laugh. “He told me he wouldn’t make a decision for me and I know he means it. Once it was evident to him what my decision was, he helped me as best as he could. It was him who pointed out that you needed to be in control for it to send the right message. I could direct you but I couldn’t dictate to you was how he put it.”

“How does he know so much?” Tiffany wondered.

“About this?” Hailey asked.

“This and pretty much everything else,” Tiffany answered. “The other day when I was giving him the show he told me just what I needed to hear to accept the new reality. He didn’t put the blame on you. He told me it was something he wasn’t sure about even though I knew it was both of you. He told me he thought I was pretty and his eyes backed up his words. I knew it wasn’t because he found me unattractive but because he was unsure of the effect it would have on your relationship. Hailey, I loved last night and I love you for giving it to me but if it harms what you have with him I’d have rather you let me work through my muddled feelings alone. I know how much you care about him and that means more to me than getting my screwed up emotions straight.”

“That’s why we’re besties,” Hailey said. “I decided that your happiness and well-being was more important than mine at this point. I thought last night was the perfect way to show you what you mean to me and how I feel about you as a person.”

“Now we need to get you dressed and primped,” Tiffany said, her heart warmed by what Hailey had been willing to give up for her. Now, Tiffany decided, it was up to her to make sure the sacrifice was unnecessary.

“That seems to be my problem,” Hailey admitted. “I’m not sure what message I want my attire to send.”

“How have you been dressing?” Tiffany wondered. “I know you’ve been to lunch with him a few times over the last week.”

“Grungy,” Hailey laughed. “Sweats, track pants, old jeans and T-shirts mostly.”

“Then go with that,” Tiffany advised. “It tells him that everything between you two is exactly as it was yesterday in your mind. It is the same, isn’t it?”

“It is but only more,” Hailey admitted. “I, well, I think I love him. I’ve never felt anything like it before. Waking up beside him is like a hug, a puppy and a box of chocolates rolled into one. The moment I leave him I want to be back with him. I sometimes find myself just staring at him as all sorts of ideas dance in my head. And when he touches me? Wow! My stomach flutters; my mouth goes dry; my heart races.”

“Sounds like stroke symptoms to me,” Tiffany joked. “Yeah, that sounds like a solid case of ‘gotta have him’ to me. And you guys haven’t uh ... done it?”

“We’re waiting,” Hailey said with a slight groan. “And I hope he’s willing to wait a little longer. I’m a little sore this morning. You were a little over-exuberant with the dildo.”

“I am so sorry!” Tiffany exclaimed, aghast that she’d hurt her friend.

“It’ll be OK,” Hailey replied. “At least I was completely aroused. I understood that you couldn’t really feel what was happening. It felt good at the time. I don’t want you to think I regret it. I don’t.”

“Will you if you lose Phil?” Tiffany asked.

“No,” Hailey answered instantly. “He very helpfully pointed out it was unlikely that a relationship with him would last past the next few months – statistically speaking – but most people meet their lifelong best friend in college. I will admit that I was a bit unhappy at his rationale but I agree with it. Our friendship will survive and I think if nothing else a friendship with Phil will develop. I thought the rewards outweighed the risks.”

Even as the words left Hailey’s mouth her brain wondered if they were true or if she just had enough faith in Phil Warner that he would eventually come to realize that she had done what she needed to do to help her friend.

Despite the indecision and talking during the morning, Hailey and Tiffany still found themselves at the Student Center 15 minutes before Phil would arrive.

“Where is his class?” Tiffany asked when she saw Hailey glance at her watch for the third time.

“Clark,” Hailey answered absently. She felt Tiffany tug on her arm and lead her toward the door.

“We’ll meet him – either there or on the way,” Tiffany said. “He’ll know you’re anxious to see him.”

“In the word’s every connotation,” Hailey muttered. She was excited to see him because she always was but she was also nervous because of a fear that he would view her differently than he had the day before.

“Well, yeah,” Tiffany admitted. They made it to Clark Hall before class let out and this time there were two young women sitting on the planter next to the sidewalk when he exited the building. As before he was talking with two people, this time it was a guy and a girl. He was smiling, at least, Hailey thought. Another portion of her brain said he was smiling – at the girl he was with. The guy was on Phil’s opposite side and he spoke, causing Phil’s gaze to turn in his direction. He saw Hailey almost immediately as his eyes swept over her. Hailey saw Phil’s posture become less relaxed as he spoke to the guy and her heart fell.

The other two separated in opposite directions as Phil started down the center steps toward where Tiffany and Hailey sat. He hadn’t reached the sidewalk before Tiffany’s butt shot off the planter and she practically raced toward him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head in the crook of his shoulder.

“Thank you,” she said.

“Uh, sure,” he answered, looking over her head to where Hailey sat looking scared and vulnerable. “For what?”

“You know for what!” Tiffany said. “For letting me know there is someone in this world besides Hailey who gives a shit about me. I know it couldn’t have been an easy decision but it helped me a lot if it’s any consolation.”

“Then I’m glad,” Phil said. Tiffany still had not released her grasp so he couldn’t make his way across the sidewalk to where Hailey still sat.

“We’re friends,” Tiffany continued in almost a whisper. “From here on out we’re friends and we’re equals. She is scared to death that she lost you when she helped me. I hope she didn’t.”

“I’m not sure she ever had me to lose,” Phil pointed out. It wasn’t what Tiffany wanted to hear so she pulled back to look at him incredulously. “You know our relationship was complicated to begin with. I can assure you of this, though: If it doesn’t work out it has nothing to do with what happened last night.”