Chapter 14

“Should I just sign over my trust fund now?” Phil asked with a smile

“What?” Hailey wondered.

“You take over my car, you pick out my clothes, you pimp me out to your friends,” Phil said, ticking off numbers on his fingers. “What’s next?”

“I do not pimp you to my friends!” Hailey said. “I don’t do any of those things!”

Phil laughed at the look of righteous indignation on Hailey’s face.

“I know, but it was worth it to see you flustered like that,” Phil said.

“That’s it,” Hailey said. “I’m putting on my panties and going home.”

“No reason to go to extremes!” Phil said. “I was joking.”

Hailey lifted her arm over her head. It was evident from the bumps on her blouse that panties weren’t the only piece of underwear Hailey was missing.

She pranced around the room with one arm raised, periodically looking back at Phil and smirking.

“What in the hell are you doing?” he wondered.

“You see this,” Hailey said, glancing up at her wiggling fingers. “That is officially known as the ‘Upper Hand.’ And, Baby, I have it.”

Hailey was halfway across the room by this point but she spun and ran to where he sat on the couch. She vaulted onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“You do have it,” Phil agreed with a smile. “How was dinner with your friends?”

“It was fine,” Hailey said. She put her head on Phil’s shoulder.

“That’s it?” Phil said. “‘It was fine.’”

“Do you want the menu?” Hailey wondered.

“I was more interested in their reactions to you missing the night on the town,” Phil said.

“A night on the town or you?” Hailey said from her cozy perch.

“OK, fine,” Phil said. “I was wondering if I have two more people in the world hating me now.”

“Only two?” Hailey asked.

“I figured Tiffany and Chelsea already knew,” Phil pointed out.

“It doesn’t mean that Chelsea isn’t pissed off at you,” Hailey pointed out. “She was going along just fine, getting laid by good-looking popular guys whenever she wanted without actually having to put up with one the rest of the time. Now she’s either going to have to find a boyfriend of her own or at least a friend with benefits. She’s not super happy.”

“Oh,” Phil said. “What about Bob?”

“She said it was fun but he’s looking for more than just sex,” Hailey explained. “Plus he’s about to start a 40-game baseball season. I told her she’s just going to have to suck it up.”

“I thought that was the other one – the kinky virgin,” Phil joked.

“God, you’re terrible!” Hailey said. “These are my friends.”

“Good point,” Phil replied. “The kinky virgin that is your friend. Is that better?”

“It’s not better,” Hailey said. “Alexandra is not real happy either. I don’t really think there is anyone else who will give her or Tiffany what they want. It’s not my problem, I know. Still, I worry about them. I’m not sure why I chose them as friends but I have.”

“They’re rich, pretty and you could easily dominate them,” Phil said. He thought that explained it pretty well but Hailey pulled back and looked at him incredulously.

“What do you mean by that?” she asked angrily.

“I thought it was pretty self-explanatory,” Phil said. “I remember Tiffany and Chelsea from orientation. Tiffany’s family is wealthy and Chelsea’s dad is mayor of Stockton. I’m not sure about the other two. I don’t remember meeting them but I’ve seen them with you on campus. They’re all pretty and they all defer to you. That’s why you wanted to be friends with them.”

“Those aren’t the only reasons,” Hailey insisted.

“Oh, I’m sure they’re not,” Phil said. “I was just giving my impression of the initial attraction or whatever. I could tell from the first time I met Tiffany that she thought of herself as a lesser light than other people. I could tell Chelsea was a little off, too. She tried for brooding and mysterious but it came out more as creepy and a little threatening. Like I said, this is my impression of them. Have I met the other two? Hell, I can’t even remember their names.”

“Alexandra Wilshire and Katelyn Gorman,” Hailey said with a frown. “Is that really what you think of me? I picked them because I could get something from them?”

Phil shrugged.

“It’s what I thought of you,” he said. “Only you know if I’m right or not. I was giving an outsider’s impression. I mean, I met Tiffany and Chelsea last night. You do dominate them. You gave Chelsea the evil eye last night and she slunk off like a whipped puppy. Tiffany was scared to death to warn me that you might have something up your sleeve. I can only guess what your relationship is like with the others but I’ve seen the five of you on campus and you’re always in the middle.”

“Fuck!” Hailey exclaimed. She moved off Phil’s lap and stood up with her arms crossed. “I can’t believe this.”

“I don’t want you mad at me,” Phil told her. “I thought we were just talking about things. I mean, you are the one who wondered why you chose them as friends. Just the phrasing suggests you’re the top of the food chain. You ‘chose’ them. You didn’t say you ‘became’ friends. Bob and I became acquaintances through baseball. Terrence and I are friends because he lived with my family. I’m friends with Ann and Rachel because they’re nice people and they needed a friend. You can name anyone I’m close to and I can give you a reason why I’m close to them. I wasn’t pointing out flaws or whatever. I was just making an observation. I could be completely full of shit.”

Hailey sat down heavily.

“I’m not sure you are,” she said after a few moments of reflection. “I do run things and none of them really ever stand up to me. I don’t think I’d be upset if they did. I mean, I didn’t toss Tiffany aside when she told me I could go to hell before she would drive somewhere after drinking. I’m still friends with Alexandra even though she told me tonight she would prefer that I don’t go out with you. She doesn’t know you either. She just knew she wasn’t going to be able to get her kicks with the sort of guys I normally go out with.”

“Then I’m wrong,” Phil said. “It’s just the impression I had of the situation.”

“I’m going to watch for it, though,” she said. “I don’t want to dominate them. At least I don’t think I do. I hope I don’t.”

“Can I ask you a personal question?” Phil wondered.

“Like this isn’t personal?” Hailey replied.

“This is of a sexual nature,” Phil said, wondering if he wanted to help Hailey understand or just supply himself with endless hours of jerk-off material.

“Sure, what the hell,” Hailey said, her eyes downcast. “We need to get into that at some point.”

“Uh, when you allowed Tiff to join you in bed, was it one-sided or did you reciprocate?” Phil wondered.

“What do you mean by that?” Hailey asked.

Phil let out a long breath.

“Did you go down on her or was it always her going down on you?” Phil said. “Sorry, you don’t need to answer that. I don’t know why I even brought it up.”

Hailey was looking at him with an unreadable expression. After a few moments, he saw tears in the corner of her eyes.

“I really am sorry I brought it up,” he said, reaching for her hand. He was thankful that she didn’t pull it away from his grasp.

“You’re right,” Hailey said in a small voice. “I would straddle her face while the guy did her. When it was me with the guy she would nibble on my breasts. We didn’t even kiss. God, I’m a monster, Phil! I pick my friends because I know I can treat them like shit!”

“I don’t think it’s that bad,” Phil told her, pulling her toward him until her head rested on his shoulder. He stroked her hair and kissing her on top of the head.

“No, it is,” Hailey insisted. “Chelsea had to ask my permission before she could have my guy. Alexandra was never allowed to even touch the guy until he’d been inside of me. I can’t believe I act that way and I never even noticed. Christ, you picked up on it without even talking to them for more than 10 minutes.”

“Did Chelsea ask your permission last night before she propositioned me?” Phil wondered.

“No,” Hailey admitted. “She told me she was going to grab my boyfriend for an hour or so and I told her that I didn’t think you actually considered yourself my boyfriend. But you’ll notice as soon as I saw her touch you, I was over there in a flash to mark my territory. God, I’m making it worse. Sorry, it makes you sound like you’re my possession, too. That’s not how I think of you. I mean, not really. I was jealous tonight when you were at Molly’s but I got over it – well, I did when you called me. I was actually sitting outside your apartment wondering if I could kill you and get away with if you didn’t get home soon. Don’t let me do that, Phil! Promise me that you’ll stop me if you see me act that way again.”

“I can promise I won’t let you treat me that way,” Phil told her. “Your friends are going to have to learn to stand on their own or they are going to be in for a real shock when college ends and real life starts. You know as well as I do that the timid get eaten in the deep end of the water. But in the end, they’re your friends and not mine.”

“I want them to be your friends, too,” Hailey said. “I mean ... God, this sucks. I’ve ruined the whole evening. I had big plans for rewarding you for coming home to me.”

“I don’t need a reward for doing what I should,” Phil said. “I’m not saying that I wasn’t happy to see you sitting there when I walked up the steps. And I’ll admit I was a bit jealous when I thought of you going clubbing with your friends and maybe finding a guy you’d like more than me. I want there to be more to this than just naked fun. I had fun this afternoon when we were studying. I think it’s adorable the way you chew your lower lip when you’re thinking. I was watching you when you figured out some concept or another and your whole face glowed. I liked getting to see you that way just now – I don’t know, vulnerable, I guess.”

“I don’t do vulnerable well,” Hailey said simply.

“No one does,” Phil said. “What I’ve liked about you from the first time we talked is that I don’t always have to be in control when you’re around. I don’t have to lead with you. I can follow half of the time. You can do the same with me. You’re allowed to be vulnerable because I won’t let anything hurt you. It’s OK for you to let your guard down and stand behind me if you want to – or even if you need to. That’s what’s been missing in every relationship I’ve ever had – friends as well as lovers.”

“I’m not sure if that’s what’s been missing in mine but I can see that something has been,” Hailey said. “Maybe I’ve never felt comfortable enough with someone to let them see me like this. I know I’ve never let anyone see me this way. Maybe that’s why I can’t remember ever being happier than I have been this last week.”

“Me, too,” Phil said. “But we both have to accept that there is no need to vie for control. That’s what we missed the first time we met.”