Chapter 8: All About Abbie

March 13, 1990, Chicago, Illinois

“It’s hard to believe you’re twenty-three, Squirt!” I said as we relaxed with our coffee after dinner.

“You’re going to be twenty-seven! And you have five-and-a-half kids!”

“More like five-and-two-thirds!” Kara giggled. “I’m due in late June or early July!”

“And Sofia is due not long before you!” Elyse said. “And Jamie and Jackie had Eric back in January. And Nicky was born in December! Babies are busting out all over!”

“Just wait,” I chuckled. “Cindi is going to get pregnant fairly soon.”

“And me next year, most likely!” Jessica said. “I just need to time it so that it’s after my surgical rotation completes so I’m back in the ER.”

“Veronica, are you planning on kids right away?” Kara asked.

“Not right away, but not too long. Jack wants two, and I think that’s a nice number. But we don’t want to be parents to teenagers in our fifties.”

“My dad was a parent to a teenager when he was almost 70!” Stephanie added.

“No thanks!” Veronica exclaimed. “Is your mom his second wife?”

I smiled, “No, he married a girl twenty years younger than he was. It mostly had to do with his time in the Navy during World War II, and then the OSS, and then the CIA. He didn’t marry until he left the Agency.”

“Wow, he must have some amazing stories!”

“He does. I only wish he’d tell me! He’s said he will some day, but he hasn’t yet. Even with him here, I haven’t been able to get him to open up. He has talked to Karl and the other Navy guys, but I’m not in that fraternity.”

“Those guys are thick as thieves,” Veronica noticed. “It seems like they go everywhere in a pack.”

“It’s a gang,” I chuckled. “Complete with gang clothing and gang signs. It just happens to be one run by the government, so it’s legal!”

“You do NOT believe that!” Jessica laughed.

“I do, and I don’t,” I said. “The police are a gang, too. The only difference is that the people voted to authorize them to form their gang. Remember what Capone said? He was a businessman who was providing goods and services that the good citizens of Chicago wanted and which were denied them by their government.”

“Back to the taxation is theft idea again?” Kurt asked.

“It is, at its core, theft. Remember my principle — if it’s immoral for me to do it, it’s just as immoral for me to vote for people to do it. It’s why I object to the death penalty, among other things.”

“I think this calls for a sauna,” Kathy said. “Otherwise, we’re going to have to listen to ‘Ron Paul Jr.’ here pontificate all night!”

“YOU voted for him!” I chuckled. “As did most people in this room! Well, not Abbie, because she doesn’t vote. And Veronica is like Pete — a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat. But she’s from Chicago, so that’s no surprise! And Pete was a ‘Reagan Democrat’, though he voted for Dukakis over Bush.”

“Anyone is better than Bush,” Veronica said. “Jesse would be better! Even as king!”

“Yes! King Jesse!” he giggled.

“God help us all if THAT ever happened!” Jennifer laughed. “Can you imagine?”

“Everyone has to do what I say!” Jesse proclaimed. “King Jesse!”

“Yes, but you do what Birgit tells you to do,” I said.

“Not if I was king!” he protested.

“Son, I wouldn’t count on that at all!” I said with a sigh.

The girls all laughed, and Kurt nodded in agreement. We finished our coffee and headed down to the sauna to finish out the evening. When we were done, I walked Stephanie back to her dorm.

“No date tonight?” I asked.

“No, I just wanted to be with family. If Ed were here, I’d have invited him, but he took me out for a nice dinner when you were out with Bethany.”

“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“I am Big Brother, because you love me.”

I pulled her into my arms and hugged her, “Me too, Squirt. Me too.”

March 15, 1990, Chicago, Illinois

“Gorbachev is now the President of the Soviet Union,” I said. “And his first act is to declare that Lithuania’s declaration of independence is invalid? Not an auspicious start.”

“I’d bet they break away, and he doesn’t stop them,” Elyse replied. “At least based on everything I’ve seen and our talks about it.”

“I think so, too. Mass rallies with upwards of 300,000 people can’t really be ignored. Look what happened in East Germany. And I’d say that Soviet troops leaving Hungary, with a promise to be out by the end of May, is a pretty clear indication of where this is going. It’s a bit dicier for the Baltic states because they were traditionally under Russia’s rule at various points, but in the end, they’ll leave.”

“And almost nobody has died,” Abbie said. “That I find amazing.”

“Quite a few died since 1917, though,” I said. “Communism has killed more people than any other ‘ism’ you care to name. It’s a religion that brooks no other god before it and kills or imprisons its heretics.”

“That’s a weird thing to say about people who proclaim to be atheists.”

“Their god is just different,” I said. “But he’s a damned jealous god. Worse than the Christian one at this point. At least for the most part, Christians aren’t killing heretics, and there’s very little Christian-on-Christian persecution.”

“No, they just try to impose their beliefs on everyone else,” Abbie said.

“Some do. And even some of them change,” I smiled.

“Speaking of which, do you have a bit of time to talk?”

I looked to Jessica and Kara, who both nodded.

“Sure,” I said. “My study? The Indian room?”

“Or is it the other kind of ‘talk’?” Kara giggled.

“The Indian room will be fine!” Abbie laughed. “You CAN have sex other places than in bed, Kara!”

“Oooh, I know that!” Kara giggled. “But I think Stephie holds the record.”

“Record?” Abbie asked.

“Of being the only one to have sex with Steve in every single room in the house, plus the shed, plus the back yard, and allegedly, on the front porch swing!”

“There’s no allegedly about it,” I chuckled. “2:00am, under a blanket, with me behind her and her sitting on me, facing forward. It was kind of awkward, but it worked!”

“Unfortunately, she was the first on the pool table!” Kara smirked.

“Kara!” I said, trying to reprimand her but laughing instead.

“Oh, please! You had fun making that videotape with me!” she smirked.

“What?!” Katy gasped.

“Hmm, maybe I misjudged you a bit,” Abbie giggled.

“Me? Or HER?” I said, laughing.

“You!” Abbie said, still laughing. “Not her. I heard about greeting the pizza guy au naturel! Not to mention that little display the other morning at breakfast! You actually made a porn tape? You?”

“Yes,” I sighed. “I actually made a porn tape.”

“You know, I always wanted to try my hand at writing or directing porn...” Abbie giggled.

“I’m liking where this is going,” Katy giggled. “Would Steve star in this movie?”

“Well, of course!” Abbie said. “I mean, he’s not hung like John Holmes, but he’s quite useful!”

“Useful?” I said, feigning outrage.

“Tiger, I told you that John Holmes was so well-endowed that he couldn’t get a proper erection. There is such a thing as too big, though no GUY would ever admit it!”

“Melanie did him a huge favor when she told him he was slightly above average,” Elyse said. “He’s never worried about it since.”

“I’ve had no complaints,” I chuckled.

“I have some ideas,” Abbie smirked. “But for the moment, I need to talk to Steve.”

I left my laughing wives and housemates and followed Abbie into the Indian room. She asked me to light the candles and incense and lower the lights, which I did. We then sat side-by-side in two of the basket chairs.

“What’s up?”

“You’ve been acting differently since Sunday night two weeks ago.”

“Have I?” I asked. “I mean that seriously.”

“Well, at least toward me. You’re acting more like, well, a Big Brother, I guess. Or maybe even a dad, though I didn’t have a Big Brother, and I didn’t have a good relationship with my dad.”

“And that bothers you?”

“I’m not sure. It confuses me is probably the best way to say it.”

“I guess I don’t feel I’ve been treating you differently or acting differently. And last weekend was pretty intense for me with Doctor Mercer and Bethany.”

“Are you sleeping with her?”

“Doctor Mercer? No way!” I smirked.

“I meant Bethany, you nut!” Abbie said, laughing.

“Not the way you mean. Bethany and I have a very, very long history, and I’ve told you quite a bit about it. Right now, and in my opinion forever, what she needs from me is a solid friend that she can depend on. And because of our history and because of what happened to her, that precludes sex in any way, shape, or form. In fact, since she’s been married, there have only been chaste kisses on the cheek, so far as I remember. Why?”

“I thought that might be what was going on. I guess not.”

“I wonder if you’re trying to see me as the same guy who was in Albany. I’m not that guy anymore. And I suppose last weekend kind of put a stake in the old me.”

“The old you? So that thing with Becka was your last wild fling?”

That was very similar to the question Bethany had asked me. And the honest answer, now having had ten days to think about it, was that I didn’t know.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Do you regret doing it?”

I shook my head slowly, “No. But to be honest, it wasn’t my style. It made me very uncomfortable. But I think that was your plan all along.”

“Part of it was to push you past your comfort zone. Part of it was to show you my wild side, and part of it was to get off!”

“And Becka was a target of opportunity?”

“You won’t believe me if I tell you,” she said.

“Try me. I’ve pretty much heard it all.”

“You do remember what you said to me after the Halloween dance? And what I said?”

“Yes, that you shouldn’t mess with her, and you said you wouldn’t need to.”

“The next time I saw her, she approached me and asked what she would need to do for that to happen. I made her actually say it. She said she wanted, and I quote, ‘your cock in her pussy’. And if it meant putting her tongue in my pussy, she’d do it. And enjoy doing it.”

“You’re joking!”

“No. I told you that she wanted it and just didn’t know it. I articulated it for her. Then, her mind went exactly where it was waiting to go. It just needed a nudge.”

“And the other stuff?”

“She was very curious, so I just described everything. And I might have done it in a way that got her juices flowing!”

“You’re a bad girl, Abbie Nolan!”

“Are you worried about Becka?”

“Yes, somewhat, even with what you just told me.”

“And if I told you she begged me to ask you for another round, where we tag-teamed her into unconsciousness with no limits or restrictions on what we did to her?”

“I’m not sure I’d believe you,” I said.

“She did. But I told her ‘no’ because I knew you were uncomfortable with the whole idea. I mean, I didn’t tell her why, just that we’d agreed it was once only. Well, with you.”

“Henry?” I chuckled.

“Possibly, yes, though I was thinking maybe taking her to see Rhonda!”

“Seriously? You think that’s a good idea?”

“Becka wants to explore. I can’t think of a better way than Rhonda, her boyfriend, and another guy. All doing Becka.”

“Are you sure that’s wise?” I asked.

“I’ll tell her about it first. She can make up her own mind. That is what you tell people to do, isn’t it?”

“It is, but this seems a bit extreme.”

“I’ll tell you something else, but you have to keep this private. Becka had another option.”

“Don’t tell me who,” I said. “It’s really none of my business. Can we come back to you and me?”

“Sure,” Abbie said. “Is there an issue?”

“I don’t think so,” I said. “Though there was a stray thought that you might be ready to move on to a different type of relationship.”

“That would explain it. You thought I might want to stop sleeping with you, so you simply began subconsciously treating me like a sister or whatever.”

Not like any sister I had, I thought. At least not in the past. Now? Perhaps so.

“Maybe so,” I said. “I guess, beyond living here and beyond being our nanny, what do you want?”

“Not kids. Not marriage. That I’m very sure of. I’d have had my tubes tied if I could have, but they wouldn’t do it on a fifteen-year-old.”

“Medical ethics would prevent that, I believe,” I said. “Jessica has talked to me about ethical issues for any woman who is under age thirty-five or so, and with guys having vasectomies, under age forty or so. They’ll do it, but you have to convince them you REALLY want it because it is, for all intents and purposes, irreversible. So I can’t even imagine them agreeing to do it for a girl of fifteen. So, what then?”

“To be as happy as possible. To do things that make me happy and make me feel good. Living here does both. Sex does both. Sex with you sort of hits the pinnacle of perfection. Well, making love, I guess. Nobody has ever done that with me but you.”

“You do know that YOU can make love to a guy, right?”

“I wouldn’t have the first clue how. You know how aggressive and wild I am!”

I nodded, “Yes, I do. But take your cues from what I’ve done for you. Try THAT on someone.”

“I’m not sure the guys I know would like it. They’re just as aggressive.”

“There are other fish in the sea. Not all dorks are dorks, as I think you’ve found out!”

“Oh, you’re still a dork in many ways,” Abbie said with a smile. “But you’re right. I suppose I just have to fish with the right bait.”

“Right bait?”

“Did you see how many guys hit on me at the Halloween party?” she smirked.

“Yes, but I’m not sure that’s you.”

“Actually, that was me. When Aidan fucked me the first time, it was in my Freshman cheerleader outfit; I still had the skirt on when we finished! I had blonde hair just like that, or very close. I suspect I was a lot like your friends Kathy and Bethany, who used to be cheerleaders. Henry’s outfit was what he was like when he was younger. And you’ve seen Trish, of course.”

“So you’re thinking of going back? Being a dork?” I chuckled.

“I’m thinking of letting more people see me as me. Minus the makeup. At least inside the house.”

“Matthew will be devastated,” I said.

“Oh, I won’t stop completely! No way! And I’ll talk to him about it first. Do you think Elyse would let me take him to McDonald’s or Wendy’s made up so we could talk?”

“I’m sure she would. You’re going to be his nanny in three months or so!”

“Cool. Can I ask you one more thing before I let you go back to your wives?”

“Sure.”

“If I did write a script and came up with something that was fun and had a bit of a plot, would you be in the movie?”

“An actual porn movie?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“I’m not sure I could do that and let anyone else have a copy of the tape. The one we do have is locked up tight and under Kara’s control. And it really is just one scene with one camera on a tripod.”

“Which scene?”

“The pool table from Insatiable,” I said.

“That’s a good one! The guy isn’t ridiculously big, though the dialogue is pretty dumb. And what’s with slapping her clit with his dick?”