Chapter 53: War is Hell

January 30, 1991, Chicago, Illinois

’There goes the luckiest man in Iraq,’

Those were General Norman Schwarzkopf’s words as he played a video of a laser-guided bomb destroying a bridge just after a vehicle had crossed it.

“Damn!” Elyse exclaimed.

“Those videos are amazing, but it’s making this war too much like a damned video game,” I groused. “The whole damned country is already too ‘gung ho’ for this war as it is.”

“But you want us to win, Snuggle Bear.”

“Once it started, my only concern is our men and women coming home safe. Patton once said ’Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men.’ Well, it’s those men — and women — I worry about. We see this amazing technology put on display, but we’re paying in blood as well as tax dollars. As for winning, I think Patton had it exactly right: ’No dumb bastard ever won a war by going out and dying for his country. He won it by making some other dumb bastard die for his country’.”

“Wow! That’s harsh!” Abbie said.

“’War is hell!’” I declared. “That was William Tecumseh Sherman, the general who led the ‘March to the Sea’ during the Civil War. He’s none too popular in Dawsonville! There is a general who WOULD be popular there, who said something similar. ’It is well that war is so terrible, or we would grow too fond of it’. That was Robert E. Lee.”

“Stephie’s last name was Grant!” Jessica said. “It just dawned on me!”

I chuckled, “Yeah. Not exactly a good ‘Southern’ name, given who US Grant was.”

“So what you’re saying is, we should avoid war, but if we do go to war, we should kick the ever-living shit out of whoever we’re fighting as quickly as possible?” Abbie asked.

“Pretty much. Our elected representatives felt this was the right course of action. I disagree. Our Congressman, Charles Hayes, voted against the resolution.”

“You didn’t vote for him, did you?”

“I voted Republican, but Peyton had no hope of winning in this district. This was Harold Washington’s district before he became mayor. We may well have a new representative next year because the state legislature is working on redistricting due to the census. I’ve seen several proposed maps, most of which have us in the same district but redrawn. I can’t imagine we won’t be in a solidly gerrymandered Democratic district.”

“Have you heard from Aimee?” Elyse asked.

“Not directly. Her dad received a letter from her saying she was OK and asked him to let me know. Obviously, she can’t share any details about what’s going on, but given that she’s on a command ship, and we’re pounding the shit out of Iraq with cruise missiles, and she’s a surface warfare officer, you can guess what she’s doing.”

“Jake’s still on base in Georgia?”

“Yes. The boomers all sortied before the war started. They won’t get much business, but they’re the deterrent force against anyone getting crazy. Nobody thinks Saddam has a nuke, but as Jake put it, if he does, the boomers will give him ‘pause’ before he decides to use it.”

“But you think he would?”

“If he thinks he’s going to lose? And he has one? I’d say Tel Aviv disappears. Now, I don’t think he has any, nor any way of getting hold of one, but US policy explicitly links nuclear, chemical, and biological weapons as ‘weapons of mass destruction’. Hell, I can make a chemical weapon right here! We have bleach and ammonia in the laundry room. Mix those together, and, among other things, you get chlorine gas. Right, Kara?”

She laughed, “Yes, that’s simplified, but you certainly don’t want to be around it if you do. It’ll kill you in one of several different ways. It’s not just chlorine. Depending on other factors, you can get hydrochloric acid, hydrazine, and chloramine. All nasty stuff, in layman’s terms. Just remember — never, ever mix cleaning chemicals. Ever. It might well be the last thing you ever do!

“But it’s not just cleaning chemicals in the normal sense. If you mix bleach and alcohol, you get chloroform. If you mix vinegar with bleach, you get chlorine gas. Actually, the same goes for almost any weak acid, including lemon juice. And speaking of acid, that’s another reason not to mix cleaning fluids with anything. If they’re a base, and you add an acid, or vice versa, you can get all kinds of nasty reactions. Chemical burns and toxic vapors are just the start. If you’ve ever done the vinegar and baking soda experiment, you know what I’m talking about.”

“I built a volcano in Junior High,” Abbie said. “That’s what we used to make the lava erupt. And red food dye to give it color.”

“That’s one of the first chemical reactions most kids learn,” Kara said.

“So you’re saying Hussein could easily have chemical weapons?” Abbie asked.

“Chlorine gas is nasty and easy to make. Most pesticides are toxic to humans and are also relatively easy to make. Biological weapons are more difficult, but the science isn’t secret. Heck, for that matter, I know how to build an atomic bomb! Granted, it would be inefficient as hell and might just fizzle, but the resulting radiation would create a serious problem.”

“How do you know how to do THAT?” Abbie asked.

“The basic plans for the first bomb dropped on Japan are well known,” Kara said with a smile. “The problem is getting the fissionable material. Once you have that, building a ‘gun type’ weapon is a matter of engineering because the science has been worked out and is effectively taught in universities these days.”

“No way!” she protested.

“It’s just physics,” Kara said. “And you can’t really hide it. Everyone knows that a sufficient mass of uranium will reach criticality. Fortunately, getting sufficient material is not an easy task. You need a serious effort to enrich whatever fuel you intend to use. And you can’t hide that. We’re talking about plants that cover acres with centrifuges and other very complex equipment.”

“Thank Loki for small favors!” Abbie said with a grin.

“So you’re going ‘Norse’ on us now?” I chuckled. “I suppose with the blonde hair, that makes sense!”

“Nah, I just used his name because you have that statue in the Indian room.”

“For biological weapons, anthrax would be a pretty easy choice,” Jessica said. “You could make a compound that was like baby powder, put it in a bomb or missile, and deliver it.”

“And the US would consider that the same as nuking someone?” Abbie asked.

“That’s the policy,” I replied. “What we’d actually do remains to be seen. That said, the US is the only nation ever to have used atomic weapons in war. And I think Bush is just crazy enough to actually do it.”

“Didn’t you say something like that about Reagan?”

“I said the Russians had to THINK he was crazy enough to do it. I don’t think he was. He understood what Nick used to call ‘Peace through superior firepower’. Remember, if they don’t think you’ll use it, it’s no deterrent. The Russians thought Reagan might just be crazy enough to do it. He wasn’t. But Bush? All bets are off, and that scares me.”

“Your dislike for that family borders on paranoia, Tiger!”

“Uh-huh. And Silverado means nothing to you? That was his son Neil. And you know about the President’s father, right?”

“No. What?”

“He was a founding member of Union Banking Corporation that was seized by the US government during World War II under the Trading with the Enemy Act.”

“His dad was a Nazi sympathizer?!” Elyse gasped.

“The follow-up investigation indicated that he wasn’t, but his company sure did business with Nazis during World War II. That should give anyone cause for concern. And you know I have a real problem with the former head of the CIA becoming President.”

“His World War II service doesn’t get you to cut him some slack?”

“The DFC is nothing to sneeze at, but that doesn’t make him a good president! US Grant is the perfect example of a winning military officer turning into a bad president.”

“DFC?” Abbie asked.

“Distinguished Flying Cross,” I clarified. “An award for heroism Bush earned during World War II. If being a hero was all that was necessary, McArthur would have been president. Thank Loki that never happened!”

The girls laughed at me using Abbie’s words. I continued.

“Hell, Joe McCarthy won the DFC. And I daresay he wasn’t a good political leader!”

“OK, all things considered, maybe your dislike for the Bush family has some merit,” Elyse allowed.

“I certainly think it does! And hopefully, we’ll be rid of him soon enough. Another of his kids, George, owns part of the Texas Rangers, and I hope he sticks to that. He did run for Congress in Texas about ten years ago, but he lost. One of the President’s other kids, Jeb, holds some appointed political office in Florida.”

“How long do you think it will be before they send in the Army and Marines?” Kara asked.

“I’d say it’ll be several more weeks. The goal is to ensure the Iraqis have as little military capability as possible. The attack by Iraq the other day against Khafji showed we’re not there yet. The Saudis drove them back with our help, but if they can mount offensive operations, the air war isn’t over by a longshot.”

“I’m assuming you talked to some of your Navy buddies about that?” Jessica asked.

“Actually, I talked more to Sensei Jim and Patrick Shaughnessy than any of the guys currently serving. The active duty folks can’t really say much, if you think about it. I had a short talk with my dad about it, too.”

“It’s time for bed, Tiger. I had a long day today.”

I gave Elyse and Abbie each a kiss, and then my wives and I headed up to bed.

February 1, 1991, Chicago, Illinois

“Do you have a moment?” Cindi asked on Friday morning.

“For you? Always! You keep putting money in the company bank account!”

“Is that all I’m good for?” she smirked.

“No, but I missed out on the other thing!”

“Yes, you did!” she smirked. “You could have had the best...”

“Uh-huh,” I said with a grin. “Anyway, what can I do for you?”

“Two things. First, I want to promote Zeke to Central Region Manager.”

“Zeke? Not Kayla?” I asked.

“Excuse me, Mr. ‘Manage your team’, but are you questioning my decision?” Cindi said with mock outrage.

I laughed, “Yes! I never said I wouldn’t EVER do that, did I?”

“No, of course not. But are you questioning it as in you think it’s a bad idea, or just asking what my thinking is?”

“Just what your thinking is. What I would do is immaterial.”

“No, it’s not, and you know it! Even when Julia was running things, you had to approve all title changes, salary adjustments, and bonuses!”

“True. So why Zeke and not Kayla?”

“First of all, except for Charlie and Mario, he’s been here longer than anyone except the founders of the company. Second, I’m confident that he’ll do a good job. Third, Kayla loves her sales job, and I think she’d hate having to do more administrative work.”

“And you think Zeke will be OK with that?”

“Yes. He already works with Chris to administer all the support contracts. And he coördinates the work for the other on-site support staff. And I suspect he and Tasha will be able to put the raise to good use in about seven months.”

“She’s pregnant?”

“They let Dave know yesterday so he could plan. She’s due in early September. Like the rest of us girls, she plans to take full advantage of your generous maternity leave benefit.”

“Girls outnumber the guys by a ratio of 3–2. It’s self-defense!”

“Bullshit, Steve Adams! You did it because you think it’s the right thing to do. One of the good parts of Sweden that rubbed off on you.”

“Guilty as charged. Anyway, that’s not really a consideration, but it’s a nice bump for them.”

“I made the decision before I knew about her pregnancy.”

“Have you talked to them about it?”

“Only in an oblique manner. Once you give your approval, I’ll talk to Zeke, then the team. I don’t think I’ll get any pushback at all.”

“Nor do I. What’s the second thing?”

“Eve Dunham.”

“I was wondering when you would come to talk to me about her.”

“I spent all week thinking about it. I talked to Dave, Julia, Elyse, Barbara, Mario, Zeke, and Chris.”

“Amazing,” I grinned.

“What?”

“Cindi Eggert, nee Spanos, not being sure of herself. There’s a first for everything!”

“Says the smuggest, most self-assured, self-confident, arrogant bastard I know!”

“Pot. Kettle. Black.”

“Fuck you!” she laughed.

“In your dreams!”

“Mr. Adams, I would have curled your toes in a way they’ve never been curled before and never would after!”

“Suuuurrreee you would have,” I teased.

Cindi laughed, “All kidding aside, you made the right decision.”

“Thanks. And your decision?”

“Sign the promotion form, and it won’t BE my decision!”

“Now that’s low!” I chuckled. “Is that how you close so many deals?”

“It sure as hell ain’t these tits! Well, maybe a little bit, but mostly not.”

“So you would saddle Zeke with this decision as his first act as manager?”

“No, I’m not THAT low. I did ask Zeke to give me an up or down answer as to what he’d do if he were in charge.”

“He’d hire her,” I said. “He doesn’t have a degree and was working at RadioShack when we hired him.”

“He thinks she’s trainable. So here’s what I propose. We hire her with a six-month probationary period. During that time, Zeke, Cassie, and Richard will train her. She’ll receive a much lower salary than we’d normally pay. At the end of six months, we evaluate her. If she makes it, she gets a boost to the usual starting salary for a support staff member and a bonus to make up for part of the lower wage during the first six months.”

“Interesting. Talk to Elyse and Kimmy, and run that by Jamie. I think we’ll want to draw up what amounts to a contract that lays out all the details and lets us part ways with her at the end of six months if need be. Hopefully, it won’t come to that, but I don’t want any misunderstandings.”

“Let me get all the forms to you later this afternoon. You’ll sign before we draw up the legal documents?”

“Sure. And one more thing. After the six months is up, I want her to finish her degree. Add in a $7,500 bonus if she completes her CS degree within three years after her probationary period.”

“Damn! Why?”

“Because my intuition says it’s a financial thing. Sure, she’s bored, but I suspect it’s that she can’t afford school. If she drops out now, she gets most of her tuition back, but she only has a week or so to do that.”

“Then I’ll get right on it,” Cindi said, getting up and leaving my office.