Chapter 25: Margaret Lundgren

July 25, 1990, Milford, Ohio

“Hi, Sweetheart!” I said, exchanging a quick hug with her.

“Hi, Aunt Bethany!” Jesse exclaimed. “Where’s Nicholas?”

“With his grandma in the kitchen. If you go see him, you could have milk and cookies!”

“Yes!” Jesse said and hurried into the house towards the kitchen.

“Hi, Bethany!” Kathy said, hugging Bethany tightly.

“Hi,” Kurt said, also getting a brief hug.

“And how is my beautiful little ‘niece’?” Bethany asked, taking Kristin from Kurt.

“Hi, Aunt Bef-ny!” Kristin said.

“She still can’t get ‘Bethany’ quite right,” Kurt said quietly.

“Jesse still calls Jessica ‘Chess’ even though he can say his own name properly.”

“Thanks for bringing the kids to see Nicholas. He’s only one, but I know he’ll appreciate seeing his friends.”

“You’ll see the whole gang Labor Day weekend,” I said. “Jennifer and Josie are going to use the weekend as a three-day vacation with Larry and Drew. I hate that we keep passing on I-65 between here and Chicago, but I’m glad that friendship is so close after all these years.”

We’d likely passed Ed as well, as he was going to visit my sister and was staying at the house. They still hadn’t consummated their rekindled relationship, and the longer that went on, the more convinced I was that it was the real thing.

“What’s the plan for the party?” Kurt asked.

“The kids will eat, and then we’ll have cake and ice cream, and Jesse and Kristin can give Nicholas the presents they have for him. My mom will watch the kids while we go out to dinner. If that’s OK with you guys.”

“If it’s OK with you, it’s OK with us,” Kathy said.

“Steve’s been making a point that I need adult companionship and that Nicholas will be just fine. He’s right, even though it’s hard. But with Jesse and Kristin here, it’ll be OK.”

“Let’s go see the kids,” Kathy suggested.

We went to the kitchen, and I greeted Nora, who was setting a plate of cookies and glasses of milk in front of Jesse and Kristin. I watched and smiled as Jesse waited for Kristin to take her two cookies. We’d been working on manners, and he was getting better, though it was easier to get him to do it with kids outside the family than with his half-siblings.

“Hi, Steve, Kathy, Kurt,” Nora said. “Did you need lunch?”

“We ate on the way down,” Kathy said.

“OK. The kids will eat at 5:00pm, then we’ll have the cake, and he can open his presents. I hope you adults can handle having dessert first, before your meal!”

“I think we’ll manage,” Kurt said with a laugh.

“Jesse, thank you for writing the letter about Nicholas’ dad,” Nora said.

“I wanted the bad man to never hurt anyone again!” Jesse said.

“He won’t,” Kathy said. “He’s going to jail for the rest of his life.”

“Good!” Jesse said firmly.

That was the theory, assuming Karl was right about the uselessness of the appeal. I’d seen enough craziness from the legal system to know that anything, no matter how remote, was possible. I pushed those thoughts out of my mind and refocused on my friends.

“Bethany, have you and Nicholas looked at the albums we put together?” I asked.

“No. Maybe you could do that with him after the kids have their cookies.”

“I’d love to. I’m sure Jesse would like to look at pictures of Uncle Nick, wouldn’t you, Jesse?”

“Yes. I miss him.”

“We all do, Jesse,” Nora said.

When Jesse and Kristin finished their cookies, I picked up Nicholas, and Jesse followed us to the living room. Bethany brought out a couple of the albums I’d put together, and I put Nicholas in my lap and opened an album. Jesse sat on my right, and Kristin on my left.

“Nicholas, that’s your dada!” Jesse said, pointing to one of Nick’s official Navy photos that Bethany had provided. “He was in the Navy! That means he goes on boats!”

“Yes, it does,” I said. “And this is your dad the day he married your mom,” I said. “And this one is the day you were born.”

“Dada?” Nicholas said, touching the picture.

“Yes, that’s your dada,” I confirmed. “But he’s gone.”

“He still looks for Nick,” Bethany said. “I have no idea how to explain it to a one-year-old.”

“Given that I don’t understand it, that’s not much of a surprise,” I said. “I accept it, but I don’t understand it.”

“It’s worse for him, though,” Bethany said quietly, “because the idea of ‘gone forever’ isn’t something a little one can understand. He was only six months old and just learning to say ‘Dada’ when Nick died.”

We spent about twenty minutes looking at the pictures, something I planned to do with Nicholas for as far into the future as I was able. Just before 5:00pm, we took the kids to the kitchen, and Nora served hot dogs and French fries. Nicholas needed help with his, but the other two did just fine, though I grimaced when they both slathered catsup on their hot dogs.

“No self-respecting Chicagoan puts catsup on a hot dog!” I said to Kurt.

“They’re kids!” he laughed. “Cut them some slack.”

“I’m going to have to work on Jesse. I think I need to take him to Gold Coast Dogs and get him a real Chicago-style hotdog.”

“I think that will turn out just like the bourbon!” Kathy laughed.

“Bourbon?” Nora asked.

“Jesse asked me to taste my bourbon last weekend. He spit it out and tried to wipe it from his tongue!”

“It was yucky!” Jesse said.

“I bet!” Nora laughed.

“And that’s exactly the reaction you’ll get to a Chicago-style hot dog!” Kurt laughed.

“At least the kids know that pizza isn’t cardboard with catsup on it! They know real deep-dish!”

“That one, I’ll concede,” he said. “I never had Chicago-style pizza before I arrived at Northwestern.”

“That wasn’t the only hot dish you found at school!” I laughed.

Kurt and Kathy both laughed.

“You had numerous chances,” Kurt said through his laughter.

“Where are we going for dinner?” Kathy asked.

“I was thinking TGI Friday’s at Tri-County Mall,” Bethany said.

“Sounds good to me!” Kathy replied.

“Can I go?” Jesse asked.

“No. You’re going to stay with Nicholas and Kristin. You’ll have fun! I’m going with Aunt Bethany and Uncle Kurt and Aunt Kathy.”

“Dada kiss Aunt Bethany?” Jesse giggled.

“No, you little turkey! I will NOT kiss Aunt Bethany!”

“What’s wrong with a kiss?” Nora asked innocently.

All four of us started laughing hard.

“Mom, that’s Jesse’s way of asking if Steve and I are going to have sex!”

“What? He’s four! What does he know about sex?”

“More than you might think,” Bethany giggled. “He is Steve and Jennifer’s son, after all! And you know that Steve is very open about things like that.”

“But with a four-year-old?”

“With all the kids,” I said. “We don’t hide the fact that people have sex. We don’t do it in front of them, obviously, but they know it happens.”

Or, I thought but didn’t say, in Jesse’s case, he had SPIED on me having sex with his babysitter!

“And Jesse thinks you would have sex with my daughter?”

“What Jesse thinks has no bearing on reality,” I said. “Bethany and I are close, intimate friends. Friends. And that’s as far as it goes.”

“But you two sleep together.”

“Yes, Mom,” Bethany said, obviously suppressing a sigh and an eye roll. “It is possible for a man and a woman to be very close, even intimate, friends and not have sex. Ask Steve and Kathy about that.”

“But that’s different!”

“No, Mrs. Krajick, it isn’t,” Kurt said. “We all know exactly where the lines that may not be crossed are drawn. And that goes for Steve’s wives as well. And the other women in the house with him. I know you think we’re all libertine, but if you pay close attention, you’ll see that we have clear rules that nobody violates because we all love each other dearly. We can all sit in the sauna naked together, and nobody thinks an orgy is going to break out!”

I suppressed a chuckle, recalling what Kathy had said about Kara and Kurt. I hadn’t raised that with Kara because I knew where pushing her could lead — the same place it had led after the incident with Joyce, and I was not signing up for that risk. Not even to get Kathy into my bed again.

“You kids have some very strange ideas about relationships,” Nora said.

“They’re just different from yours, Mom,” Bethany said. “What works for you and Dad and your generation doesn’t necessarily work for ours. And our kids will be different from how we are. You and Dad married when he was twenty-two, and you were nineteen. That doesn’t happen much anymore.”

“What happened to one man and one woman for life?”

Bethany smiled, “I don’t know; ask Jennifer and Josie. Or Larry and Drew.”

“I think we’ll end this conversation now,” Nora said.

“Good idea,” Bethany confirmed. “The kids are done with their meal. Shall we get the cake and presents and sing?”

“Your dad will be home soon,” Nora said. “We’re waiting for him.”

Harry walked in about five minutes later, and we celebrated Nicholas’ birthday with singing, chocolate cake, and vanilla ice cream. After the cake, Jesse and Kristin gave Nicholas his presents, which Bethany helped him open. While I helped Nora clean up, Bethany, Kathy, and Kurt took the kids into the living room, and Harry went to put on more comfortable clothes for the evening. Once the kitchen was clean, Kurt, Kathy, Bethany, and I headed to TGI Friday’s.

“You missed the huge hugs Jesse and Kristin gave Nicholas,” Bethany said. “It was so cute! Kathy took pictures. They both love him. And I hope we can keep them close despite the distance.”

“Me, too,” I said. “How are things going with your practice?”

“Much better. I have eight clients of my own now, and my name is on the letterhead!”

“Doctor Mercer has relaxed?”

“A bit. She’s still watching me like a hawk, but I don’t have trouble at work. My trouble is lying in bed alone at night. That’s going to take a long time to get used to.”

“Well, tonight I’m available if you need to be cuddled,” I said.

“I won’t pass that up, no matter what my mom thinks. She’s pretty sure we’re lying to her.”

“She can think what she wants,” I said. “What matters is that we know what the truth is. And your dad is totally on the same side with us.”

“True.”

“Don’t worry about your mom, Bethany,” Kathy said. “She’s just not able to roll with the punches like your dad is.”

“Your dad has been a rock all along,” I said. “I remember the ‘once over’ he gave me when I first met him and how uncomfortable he was about you and me. That all changed later on.”

“My mom is still upset that I didn’t marry you.”

“Your mom doesn’t understand us. I don’t know that she ever will. Just as my mom never will. And can you imagine if Kara’s dad was still alive?”

“He’d have had a heart attack when you announced your wedding plans,” Kathy said.

“Bethany, did you know that Kathy and Kurt are looking for a bungalow in Oak Park?”

“I did. It makes sense. I suspect Dave and Julia will look for a place soon, too, now that they have two kids.”

“I think so as well, but they don’t want to spend the kind of money it would take to buy a house in Hyde Park. And that means they’ll be further from the office. It’s a balancing act.”

“Oak Park would work because they could take the L,” Kathy said. “Or any of the other areas along one of the L lines.”

“I asked Elyse about that because she wants to move to the ‘burbs,” I said. “She said she’d take Metra into the city and then either the L or a bus down to Hyde Park. Driving doesn’t make a lot of sense. But that’s several years in the future.”

“You can’t be happy about having your kids move out of the house,” Bethany said.

“No, but I knew it was going to happen eventually with Elyse. That said, it’s going to be at least six years before that happens, I think. We’ll work it out when the time comes.”

“And Jennifer and Josie?” she asked.

“They have no desire to move. They love living in the coach house. I can see them living there for as long as I own the property, and I have no plans to move anytime soon. The house is perfect and in a perfect location.”

“How is Kara doing with the new baby?” Bethany asked.

“Just fine. We got a few raised eyebrows about her name, especially from Al Barton.”

“You have to admit it is a bit weird to name your kids after lovers who have died,” Bethany said.

“Bethany, we’re talking Steve here!” Kurt laughed. “I’d worry if it wasn’t weird!”

“And Jessica naming her son after her mentor?” I asked.

“That’s not so strange. Kids are named for people we admire all the time.”

“Well, there you have it,” I said. “Especially with Stephie.”

“I only hope that when my time comes, I’ll be able to die with that kind of dignity and grace,” Kathy said. “I’m not sure that I could.”

“I’m not sure that I could, either,” I said. I’ve come face-to-face with mortality and wrestled it to what I would call a draw. I acknowledge it and accept it as a fact of life. But when the time comes, I have no idea how I’ll react. Nobody does until they REALLY come face-to-face with death.”

“I think we should change the topic,” Bethany said.

“Sorry, Sweetheart. Let’s talk about something happier, like the Reds!”

“Elyse must be going nuts right about now,” Bethany said.

“She is. She’s already trying to figure out how to get World Series tickets without breaking the bank!”

“There’s still a long way to go,” Kathy said.

“True, but they are really rolling along.”

We had a nice dinner at TGI Friday’s and then went to Farrell’s for ice cream because it was just across the parking lot from TGI Friday’s. After the ice cream, we headed back to Bethany’s house. The kids were in bed, sleeping in Nicholas’ room. Kathy and Kurt used Ed’s room, and I got into bed with Bethany and held her tightly while we fell asleep.

July 29, 1990, Chicago, Illinois

“You haven’t watched too many races this season,” Jessica said as we sat down to watch the DieHard 500 race from Talladega.

“We’ve been super busy,” I said. “And Bill’s not having a very good year. He’s had some top-5 finishes, but he’s had some really bad finishes, too. I think the divorce and his mom’s illness have really made a mess of the season. Kulwicki isn’t doing very well, either. He’s had a few good finishes, but he’s not even in the top ten in points.”

“How’s Jason doing?”

“Pretty well. I spoke to him last weekend for a few minutes.”

“Is he dating at all?” Kara asked.

“No. I’m not sure he’s ready for that yet, even though it’s been nearly three years.”

“Is he living alone?”

“No. He’s on the road a lot, and during the season, he lives in an apartment near the shop in Charlotte with another team member. When he’s in Dawsonville, he’s living with his sister LeAnn, her husband, and their kid. Jason really dotes on his nephew.”

“Where is Bill starting today?”

“Ninth. He usually does better at ‘Dega. As I said, the team just isn’t together this year.”

It turned out to be a very good race, and Bill led towards the end, but he couldn’t hold off Dale Earnhardt, who passed him on lap 169. Earnhardt managed to stretch his gasoline far enough to finish the race, and he beat Bill by a couple of car lengths, with Alan Kulwicki finishing fourth. There had been a mystery caution flag when the checkered flag came out, and CBS never said what it was for.

The points standings didn’t look good at all. Bill was seventh, 329 points behind, and Kulwicki was fifteenth, 581 points behind. Mark Martin, despite an early season penalty for an illegal carburetor spacer plate, led Earnhardt by a single point. All in all, I was relatively happy with the race results and was looking forward to seeing Jason and Bill when we went to Michigan in August.