Chapter 24: Kathy

July 18, 1990, Over the Great Plains, USA

“What are you thinking?” Kathy asked.

“Just about how empty justice feels. I mean, I’m happy he’s going to prison for the rest of his life, but it doesn’t even begin to make up for what happened.”

“Could anything ever make up for it?”

“Probably not,” I said. “I don’t believe in taking revenge, and even if I were to do that, I bet I’d still feel empty.”

“Yes, and you would be sitting in a prison cell, convicted of murder.”

“And I’d have deprived another child of their father, which is exactly what that sailor did to Nicholas. Not to mention also depriving a wife of her husband.”

“I don’t know if you saw, but one of the female officers, the one with the two silver bars on her uniform, was crying when you finished reading Jesse’s letter.”

“The lieutenant. In the Army or Marines, those bars would signify a captain. In the Navy, a captain has an eagle like a full colonel, which is the equivalent rank. I didn’t notice. I was trying too hard to control my own tears.”

“If nobody else had said a word, that letter would have put that sailor away for life,” Kathy said.

“Jesse is pretty damned advanced for a four-year-old.”

“Are you sending him to preschool?”

“No. His moms and I discussed that and we’ll let him start kindergarten in a year, even though Illinois doesn’t require it. He already knows his alphabet and can count to thirty with no mistakes, and it’s not like he’s missing social interaction or structured environments.”

“True,” she said. “Back to the subject at hand, do you think that helped Bethany?”

“Probably. You heard her last night - it’s like a huge weight was lifted from her chest. It doesn’t solve any problems, per se, but it takes away one worry and one point of stress. As Jesse said, he’s going to prison so he can’t hurt anyone’s dada ever again.”

“When are you going to Ohio next?”

“Labor Day weekend,” I said. “Jess has Labor Day off because there are no elective procedures that day and she’s not on the ER schedule for that day. You?”

“In a couple of weeks. I’m taking Kristin to see my mom before school starts again at the end of August.”

“Kurt’s not going?”

“No. He’s taking next week off so we can go to Montréal for five days, and then a week at Christmas. It’ll give me more time to spend with Bethany. I’ll ask now, because we’re not near anyone who knows us, but are you and Bethany... ?”

I shook my head, “No way. Not now. Not ever. YOU have more of a chance for that than she does!”

Kathy smirked, “Only if your wives were willing to swap!”

“Which they aren’t,” I chuckled. “But even THAT has more of a chance than me and Bethany.”

“Very wise. She’s vulnerable in the extreme, and she’s seriously lacking for close male companionship.”

“I know,” I said. “She gets small doses when we cuddle in bed, though it’s always with PJs and nightgowns on. I haven’t even seen her naked since the last time all of us were in the sauna together. I think I told you that I walked out of her room when she went to change in front of me.”

Kathy nodded, “I think you called it both the easiest and hardest thing you’ve ever done.”

“Exactly. You and I have one job in life, and that’s to keep our best friend safe.”

“Do you think she’ll eventually remarry?”

“Will she? I doubt it. Should she? That’s a question I don’t have an answer to.”

“But if she needs male companionship...”

“You do know that you don’t have to be married to have sex, Mrs. Jaeger!” I chuckled.

“True,” Kathy giggled. “What about a dad for Nicholas?”

“He has one, if you know what I mean. And Uncle Kurt and Uncle Steve are going to be pressed into service as his stand-ins. But that’s what we are - stand-ins for Nick. Nicholas is Nick’s son. And I think Bethany wants to keep it that way. She’ll find her ‘close companionship’, as you put it, but she won’t marry. Well, not before Nicholas is out of the house. And maybe not even then. At least that’s how it looks to me right at this moment.”

“So what do we do?”

“What we’ve been doing. Be her friends. Kurt and I step up and help with Nicholas. And Bethany makes her way in the world as she sees fit, with our support.”

“What about Caroline? What do you think?”

“I think she’s in really bad shape. Bethany had hoped that the trial and sentencing would help her come out of it, and maybe it will, but to me, her eyes seemed even MORE vacant after the sentencing than before. And you heard her parents on the stand. She’s been like that since they got the phone call from Guam. Doctors haven’t helped, and neither has medication. Can you imagine my sister if something like that had happened while she was still in High School?”

“Yes, but only after Stephanie killed whoever it was that had harmed you. Is she still seeing Ed?”

“Yes. He’s looking for a job in a planning department in the Chicagoland area. Once he finds one, he’s going to move to Chicago and ask her to move in with him when she graduates.”

“And her arrest?”

“Melanie told me that she’s going to get court supervision, which means even the arrest is expunged after two years. She’s in the clear. She’s going to counseling, and she’s in a Jazzercise class at least until she can come back to the dojo. Who knows, maybe she’ll stick with dance for exercise.”

“Did you get everything straightened out with DCFS?”

“Yes, finally. Gwen really took it to them. And apparently so did the attorney Jennifer and Josie hired.”

“Good. They’re almost impossible to deal with when they have anonymous tips like they got. I’ve seen them take kids based on nothing more than a single anonymous phone call. And then you have to fight to get your kids BACK, which means proving that you’re innocent.”

“A neat trick, isn’t it? There are some provisions under the RICO statutes like that - they seize your assets and you have to prove they were not ill-gotten. It totally stands the Constitution on its head. The only saving grace is they only apply that stuff to the mob or other large criminal organizations. If they ever apply it to individuals, they’ll be able to take everything you have, leaving you destitute, and with no way to hire an attorney to prove you aren’t a criminal.”

“That’s just wrong!”

“Tell me about it,” I sighed. “As I said, it’s only in RICO cases at the moment, and we have to do our best to keep it there. I don’t hold out a lot of hope. Remember, I think George Orwell was an optimist.”

“A truly frightening thought. How’s business?”

“Busy. Cindi is going to hire a couple more consultants and our sales of our core software are good. Not stellar, but good. And honestly, the maintenance contracts are how we keep the lights on and those increase with every sale. How do you like being a schoolmarm?”

Kathy laughed, “What is this? Little House on the Prairie?”

“You know me. I like to show off my vocabulary, both old words and new.”

“It’s sixth-graders. They don’t care about geography so I have to keep it interesting with things like fake quiz shows about state capitals or mountain ranges and rivers, or stuff like that.”

“I remember when I took World Geography my dad commented that when he was in grammar school, and yes he used that term, there were about twenty countries in Africa to remember, and they were pretty much all European names. Places like ‘Belgian Congo’ and ‘French West Africa’ and the like.”

“It has changed a bit since World War II. He would have been in grammar school in the 1920s, right?”

“Yes. He graduated from some exclusive college prep school in 1935, and from Dartmouth in 1939. His dad saw the war coming and suggested to my dad he join the Naval reserve as a radio man, hoping he’d end up with a shore billet. It didn’t happen that way, and my dad ended up out to sea and had a couple of destroyers sunk from under him.”

“Did you ever meet your grandparents on your dad’s side?”

“No. They died in a plane crash in the late 40s. Or at least that’s the story. Given my dad’s background, I have no idea if that’s true or not. But even so, my grandfather would have been in his early 80s in 1963 if they were still alive, though my grandmother would have only been around 70. She was, as best I can tell, my grandfather’s second wife. But details are sketchy and my dad hasn’t filled in any gaps. He’s promised to in the future, but he hasn’t as yet. I actually got more information from Karl than directly from my dad. It seems being in the ‘fraternity’ gives you some privileges that even being a son doesn’t have.”

“You’ve seen that with all our friends. Even Pete isn’t in the ‘inner circle’ because in one sense, he’s the enemy, even though he works for the Navy.”

“Until a slot opens for a Deputy US Marshal in the Chicago region. Then he’ll apply for a transfer. He has enough time in at NIS that the job is his for the asking, assuming he’s the most qualified internal candidate.”

“You and I are quickly being left behind in the education game,” Kathy laughed. “Pete’s working on a Master’s in Criminal Justice at Northwestern, and your wives have advanced degrees, as does Bethany. And soon your sister.”

I chuckled, “I’m done with school. I like what I’m doing and don’t see the need to go back.”

“Have you thought about teaching?”

“In my copious free time? The soonest I could even consider it is after I’m done playing CEO. And that’s years from now.”

“What about karate?”

“I’ve talked off-and-on with my Sensei about it. I’m happy just to teach once a week at the dojo so he can have a night off. It’s another thing which takes a lot of time and I don’t have any more to give.”

“I suppose that’s true, given your kids and two wives. Not to mention Elyse.”

“Kathy, we never really talked about what happened after Jessica left me.”

“What’s there to talk about?”

“Oh, you showing up in Michigan for one. How you and the girls decided to do that.”

“That’s a question for Jennifer, Elyse, and Kara, don’t you think?”

“Yes, but I want to hear it from you. From the beginning - when Jess left me.”

Kathy cocked her head, took a deep breath, let it out, and began to speak.

“The first few days, we didn’t really do anything. Kara called me and we talked about it, but we both thought that Jessica would calm down, come to her senses, and behave rationally. After a week, I tried calling her every couple of days but she would never take my calls. Kara tried as well.”

“And you guys didn’t tell me about this why?”

“Did it matter, really? We didn’t want to get your hopes up that we would be able to speak to her, and if we did, that she’d come back.”

“I suppose that makes some sense. Did you guys talk to Carissa?”

“Yes, but Jess wasn’t talking to her, either. Carissa had no idea what was going on. She thought you had cheated on Jess and that’s why Jess was so upset.”

“Cheated on her? But we had a three-way marriage.”

“I don’t think Carissa ever really understood your relationship. Remember, Jess never saw her and rarely talked to her after you married.”

“True.”

“Now fast forward to Thanksgiving. When Kara heard that Jessica had talked to Sofia, she thought that perhaps finally Jess had come to her senses. Obviously that wasn’t true. Kara called me in Milford at my mom’s house to tell me what had happened. I talked to Kurt, and when he and I drove back from Ohio, we stopped by Carissa’s place.”

“Wait! How did you guys get Carissa’s address?”

“Kara called Jessica’s mom.”

“Again, nobody told me about this!”

“Considering the state you were in after Thanksgiving, are you surprised?”

“No, I suppose not.”

“Anyway, Jessica locked herself in her room and wouldn’t even respond to questions through the door.”

“Just as she did when Kara and I drove out there after the DNA test.”

“Yes. I wrote Jessica a long note and left it with Carissa, though I guess she never read it. Then you got your DNA test results a week later and we all thought everything would work itself out. When it didn’t, Elyse and Jennifer started to hatch a plan. They called me, and then got in touch with Doctor Barton who put us in touch with Alicia. The rest you know.”

“So all this stuff was going on behind the scenes?”

“More. Alicia had tried to talk to Jessica a few times, and drove out to see her but had no luck. Elyse, Jennifer, Sofia, and even your sister made calls to Carissa’s. Jorge drove your sister out there one day but obviously Jessica didn’t respond to her, either. Jorge even tried to call her to no avail.”

“Amazing!” I sighed, shaking my head. “And you all kept this from me? Why?”

“Honestly, I thought that Elyse, Jennifer, or Jessica would have told you by now. I’m somewhat surprised that they didn’t given how you’ve calmed down since Jessica came home.”

“I guess maybe they didn’t think there was a point to telling me so long after the fact. Maybe they were worried about ripping open old wounds or something. But it does seem strange you would all keep this from me at the risk of thinking none of you cared.”

“You weren’t thinking, Steve. Not at all. You were on autopilot, and a rickety autopilot at that. You had trouble at work, trouble at home, trouble at the dojo, and then you went off the deep end after Thanksgiving. Nobody knew what might set you on a downward spiral that would destroy everything.”

“Oh, I tried to do that all by myself,” I said. “Fortunately Jennifer and Elyse kicked my butt; especially Elyse.”

“I know. Jennifer, Elyse, Kara, Dave, Kurt, Sofia, and I had a very long conversation on how we could set you straight and save you from self-destruction.”

“It was a close thing,” I said.

“We know. We actually contemplated kidnapping you, but Dave suggested we send you on a vacation to Ohio. That almost backfired from what I hear.”

“Because as my sister would put it, I’m a ‘dumb boy’.”

“Not any more. At least not since that evening in Iron Mountain. That was your ‘Road to Damascus’ moment. Bethany noticed that you were a new man after that.”

“I’d put it in February when I drove out to get Jessica.”

“Your newest muse?” Kathy smiled.

“Abbie is that, isn’t she?”

“Would you like to hear my opinion?”

“Always!”

“She’s good for you, for now. She brings a very different perspective. But, and this is important, in order for her to grow, you’ll need to let her be free.”

“I am,” I said.

Kathy smiled, “Free of you. In other words, at some point, she has to become ‘just’,” she made air quotes, “your nanny. I’m not saying tomorrow, next month, or even next year. She’s a different girl than the one you met in Albany. She’s going to have different wants and needs, and you could hold her back if you aren’t careful.”

“I’ve noticed some changes, but mostly they’re externals.”

“But for her, the external only changes when the internal changes. You should know that.”

I nodded, “Very true. I’ll take it under advisement. Did Elyse put you up to this?”

Kathy laughed, “Not much gets past you these days! We used to be able to manage you without you ever figuring it out. Not anymore.”