Jim is not someone that I would normally choose to be friends with. Yet here he sits, drinking my beer and watching football on my large flat screen TV. You see Jim is my neighbor and it just seems like the right thing to do, you know good relations with the neighbors is a good thing right?

Don’t get me wrong Jim is an ok guy I guess. He’s a little pushy, he invites himself over every week to watch some sporting event or another. He’s cheap, he never brings his own beer when he comes over. He’s loud, I keep the windows and doors closed when he’s over so the other neighbors don’t think that Lori and I are fighting and he is a very physical kind of guy. You know the kind that slaps you on the back after telling a joke or punches you in the arm when making a point.

Me, on the other hand, I am totally opposite from Jim. I’m a quiet kind of guy. I keep mostly to myself and resist social situations. I’m introverted where Jim is extraverted. I’m an accountant with thinning hair. Jim is a heavy equipment operator and has hair all over his large muscular body. I’ve seen him in a bathing suit so I know.

Jim is pretty muscular. His biggest muscle is behind his belly button. Maybe it’s because he drinks so much beer or maybe it’s genetic but he looks pregnant to me. Despite his gut he’s very strong. I once saw him load a fifty five gallon drum of oil in the back of his pickup truck.

Later that day I checked on the internet and a drum of oil weighs almost five hundred pounds. Now I don’t mean to say that he just grabbed it and threw it on the truck. No, he had to wrestle it by leaning it over and sliding it up but still, Five hundred pounds, that’s a lot. It’s all I can do to put a five gallon bucket of driveway asphalt in the back of our minivan.

Jim and his wife Martha move in next to us about six months ago and somehow I have become his best friend.

Martha probably weighs the same as Jim and is almost as strong. I’m joking of course (but not by much).

My wife Lori thinks Jim is a hoot (Her words not mine). I used to complain to her about Jim’s antics, but since she never listens to my bellyaching (Her words again) I have stopped bitching and gone with the flow.

So here we are, sitting on the couch watching the Miami Dolphins get the shit kicked out of them by the New England Patriots, Lori and Martha had gone to places unknown and wouldn’t be back till seven and I had just handed Jim his third beer and there was still ten minutes left in the first quarter.

That’s when he asked the question. He turned to me and with a very serious look on his face he said.

“Bill, can I ask you a very personal question?”

I was sort of surprised because we almost never talked about anything personal, so I did really think he would ask anything like he did.

“Yeah, sure I guess.” I told him.

“Now be honest ok, this is important to me.”

“Uh ok.”

“Have you ever given a guy a blowjob?”

“WHAT?”

“Have you ever sucked a guy’s dick?”

“Why do you want to know that?”

“I told you it’s important to me. Let’s say a certain person might have let a guy put his dick in this person’s mouth. Would that make him gay? I mean is that something that that person should be ashamed of?”

It was sounding like this big macho man had sucked a cock and was looking for validation that he wasn’t a pervert or something.

“No Jim, I don’t think doing something like that would necessarily make someone gay nor is it really anything to be ashamed of.”

“So you have sucked cock. Now be honest.”

“Well ... when I was thirteen.”

“What happened.”

“This is embarrassing Jim.”

“You just said it was nothing to be ashamed of.”

“It’s not but...”

“Come on Bill tell me how you ended up sucking some guy’s dick.”

“Well ... like I said I was thirteen I were in the woods behind my house reading a Penthouse magazine.”

“Oh Yeah! I loved the letters section of that magazine.”

“My pants were down and I was going to masturbate when all of a sudden an older boy saw me and ran over and pinned me to the ground before I could get up. That’s when he unzipped his fly and pulled his penis out and told me to suck it or he would beat the crap out of me.”

“So what did you do?”

“I sucked it.”

“Did you swallow?”

“Not that time.”

“What do you mean, not that time. You sucked him again later?”

“Well ... yeah. After the first time he made me blow him nearly every day for almost five months, until his dad got transferred and they moved away. What about you? When did you suck a cock?” I asked Jim.

“Me? Are you kidding? The guy would have to kill me and then I still wouldn’t suck his dick.”

“But I thought.”

“You thought wrong Billy boy, but since you have already sucked dick you wouldn’t mind sucking mine would you Bill? Martha won’t give me blowjobs anymore and I really like busting my nut in a warm mouth.”

With that said he stood and dropped his pants. He wasn’t wearing underwear and his hairy groin looked like giant black Brillo pad with this monster pole protruding from its center.

It was the fattest cock I had ever seen and it wasn’t completely hard yet, but it was growing. Jim sat back down, grabbed my hand and pulled me over to him like I was a chew toy for our dog Buster.