Chapter 4

“There! Right there! Do that thing again.”

“Does that scratch your itch?”

“Oh, yes! I don’t think my itch has ever been scratched as well or as often.”

“Happy to be of assistance, M’lady. Is this a personal record for you?”

“We ran right through my personal record several hours ago. Is there really no limit to the benefits of this Yoga form?”

“I’m not absolutely sure it qualifies as ‘Yoga’. Perhaps we should simply call it ‘yoga-ish’. We don’t want to trespass on a copyright.”

“What about the limit? You didn’t answer my question. When will we have to stop?”

“The only reasons to stop would be for food, elimination, sleep and boredom. Since Art has provided food within reaching distance and we have been taking little cat naps without actually stopping, it appears that elimination will be our downfall. I’m certainly not bored. Are you?”

“Only in a manner of speaking. In that way, I have been bored continuously for so long that elimination is definitely on the horizon. The near horizon.”

“There is no reason to force the issue, in a manner of speaking. Shall we take a short break?”

“Good idea, but I still want to hear about your affair when we start again.”

“I will try to put my memories in order, Fair One. Lead on and I will join you in the shower.”

“Nice towel holder, in a manner of speaking.”

“It’s all your fault. One of the hazards of this technique is that getting accustomed to remaining ready for action for such extended periods is that I remain ready for action when there is no action available.”

“Silly, just because we are in the shower doesn’t mean that there is no action available. If I do this and you do that, then we can do this and that while we finish showering.”

“But I may not want to finish.”

“Into cold showers, are we?”

“Oops! Thanks for reminding me. May I help you dry off so we don’t wet the bed, in a manner of speaking?”

“Quick thinking on your part, Eli! Last one in the bed is an old stick in the whatnot, in a manner of speaking.”

“I’ll give you whatnot and an old stick, as well. Get your buns in the bed, Woman, while the oven is still hot.”

“Yes, my Lord. Will you be wanting butter for the buns?”

“Some say it is better than K-Y.”

“Oh? We’re going there, are we?”

“Will it be a Star Trek moment?”

“Sorry. I can’t say no one has been before.”

“Just as well, it is the ‘after’ I’m after, anyway. Think you can handle it?”

“Check my gait tomorrow and I will check yours.”

“Oh? Is this a challenge?”

“Are you up to it?”

“If not, I will find a stool. Are you taller from the rear than from the front?”

“Then go forth, Sally.”

“Art? Is it my imagination or do I hear millions of ten-year-olds giggling?”

“Sorry. I forgot to exclude them this time, since you were on a euphemism trip.”

“They only know the euphemisms. They don’t know the words we use.”

“Quite right. Should I disconnect them?”

“No. We’ll try to keep it PG-10.”

Elaine pouted. “You promised me you were going to tell me about your affair. How can you do that properly without any teaching moment side effects?”

“Perhaps no one will object if it remains a teaching moment and does not descend into entertainment. Young minds and all that, you know.”

“So, get on with it if you can keep your mind on the story while I do this.”

“What story? What story? Oh, ok. Here goes. As I said, I remained married under threat of harm to my children, but felt justified in doing a little coloring outside the lines, if you get my drift.”

“Judging from the giggles, everyone got it. Could you turn this way just a trifle? Thanks. Much better. Please go on.”

“A few months after I got settled into my new job, my employer sent me to NASA-Houston to install a large piece of equipment for the Apollo program. It was very large and complex and I knew nothing about it, but they handed me a waist-high stack of manuals and told me everything I needed to know would be in the manuals.”

“Did you have to read all of them?”

“Read them? I had to memorize them. None of the engineers with experience on this project could be spared for the trip, they said, although I’m pretty certain it was because all of them had more seniority than I and the company was sending me out just a couple of days before a long weekend.”

“Couldn’t you get them to delay a day or so?”

“Apparently you have never worked as an Engineer. Companies rarely, if ever, modify some bean counter’s schedule just because it creates a hardship for an engineer, without creating any advantage for the company.”

“Were you able to complete the project on time?”

“That would have been a first. Engineering schedules are never based on reasonable expectations. They are always based on more arbitrary factors, such as the timing of a trade show. In this case, the company would avoid a delay penalty if we delivered before the weekend. The time required for installation was not really evaluated. After all, it worked before it left the plant, didn’t it?”

“Did it?”

“They always claimed it did. They had also claimed that the Minuteman missile test system worked before it was shipped and no one could prove it didn’t because the trucker lost the load off the side of a steep canyon somewhere in the Rockies, on the way to Seattle.”

“Did you suspect fraud?”

“Everybody suspected it. It’s sort of like making your own birth certificate with crayons and passing it off as official as long as no one is allowed to challenge it.”

“Ok, ok. Get on with it. We want to know about your affair, not your silly politics.”

“We?”

“Get on with it.”

“Yes, dear. The first Murphy moment came when the truck that was delivering the system arrived at NASA. So much for a lightning installation over the weekend. The Electricians’ union and the Teamsters’ union got in a big fight over which group had the right to move the equipment from the truck to the lab. The fight was clearly not going to be resolved until the next Monday, so I asked to be allowed to return home for the weekend. Not a chance.”

“So, you stayed in Houston while your family celebrated without you?”

“Not quite. This was where things really got weird. I got on the phone to my friend, who made some arrangements and I was able to get a plane ticket to a city not far from her. It sounds unbelievable now, but when my plane pulled up to the terminal, her father’s light plane was waiting just a few feet from the wingtip of my plane and she was waiting for me at the foot of the boarding stairs with a big smile and a kiss.”

“What about security?”

“Security procedures weren’t put in place until after the first hijacking attempts. Just as a matter of interest, the first attempted hijacking attempt was made on a flight to our city from Houston. It was foiled by the man who became known as ‘The Voice of Apollo’ and another passenger. He was on his way from NASA to visit us.”

“Who was flying her father’s plane? Was she a pilot?”

“Not at that time. Her father was flying, which told me that I had their blessing to spend the weekend with their married daughter. They seriously disliked their son-in-law and had paid his way through law school to get him out of town so their daughter could be free to meet with the man she loved. Moi.”

“Wow!”