A Well-Lived Life 2 - Book 3 - Jessica
Chapter 1: Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down

Copyright © 2015-2023 Penguintopia Productions

Coming of Age Sex Story: Chapter 1: Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down - This is the continuation of the story told in "A Well-Lived Life 2", Book 2. If you haven't read the entire 10 book "A Well-Lived Life" and the first two books of "A Well-Lived Life 2" you'll have some difficulty following the story. This is a dialog driven story. The author was voted 'Author of the Year' and 'Best New Author' in the 2015 Clitorides Awards.

Caution: This Coming of Age Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   Ma/ft   Fa/Fa   Mult   Military   Polygamy/Polyamory   First   Pregnancy   Slow  

November 24, 1988, Chicago, Illinois

"Steve?! Steve?!" I heard muffled voices say. "Are you OK? Steve!"

"Please don't kill our baby," I whispered.

"What's he saying?" I heard Kara ask.

"Something about a baby," I heard Stavros say. "Jorge! Help me get him up and back into the house."

Strong arms lifted me from the sidewalk and supported me as my friends more or less carried me into the house, my arms over their shoulders and their arms around my waist.

"What happened?" a strange voice asked.

"I think he passed out," Leila said.

"Did someone attack him?" another strange voice asked.

"I don't think so," Alejandra said. "I don't see any blood or any injuries."

"Get him on the couch," Sofia ordered the guys. "And get some blankets."

"Should we call 9-1-1?" my sister asked.

"No, Squirt," I whispered.

"Steve, what happened?" Kara asked frantically.

"Kara, let him recover a bit, please," Sofia said.

I felt blankets being put over me, and someone, I thought it was Sofia, checked my pulse. Cold glass slipped into my mouth and I recognized it as a thermometer.

"His heart rate is a bit elevated," Sofia said. "About 110. That's not dangerous."

"Sofia," Alejandra said. "He's been running five days a week and going to karate seven days a week. I bet his resting pulse is around 55 to 60. 110 is high. We really need to check his blood pressure, but none of us has the equipment."

"Temp is 35.6°C, uh, sorry, 96.2°F," Leila said. "That's a bit low, considering he was only outside for about ten minutes from the time he left with Jessica until Penny was pounding on the door."

"That's normal for him," Stephanie said. "I have the same temperature as my normal. We're always a couple degrees low."

The light-headedness slowly passed, and I went to sit up, but felt several hands restrain me.

"Stay lying down," Sofia said. "Can you tell us what happened?"

"I got dizzy, everything went black, and then I heard all of you."

"Penny was out to take Pete for a walk and saw you on the sidewalk," Sofia said. "She freaked out and ran here. She took Pete home and I'm sure she'll be back. Do you know what might have caused you to pass out? And what happened to Jessica?"

I knew. I just couldn't bring myself to say it out loud.

"You said something about a baby," Stavros said. "But I couldn't understand."

"Steve, do you think you can make it up to bed?" Kara asked. "If Stavros and Jorge help you and we take the elevator?"

"I think so," I said.

"Guys, help him," Kara said firmly. "Girls, let me deal with this, please. Elyse, I think you should come with us."

The guys helped me to my feet and steadied me as we went to the elevator. The girls went up the stairs and Jorge and Stavros rode with me and helped me to my room, where I laid on the bed. They left, and I was with Kara, Elyse, and Birgit.

"Is Jess pregnant?" Kara asked.

I nodded, "Yes."

"Why did she leave so suddenly?"

I sighed, and tears ran down my cheeks, "She only came tonight to tell me she was pregnant, that she couldn't have my baby, and that she was going to have an abortion!" I sobbed.

"Oh, my God!" Elyse gasped, then I heard her whisper to Kara, "Becky."

"Jessica is going to kill our baby!" I croaked through the tears.

"What do we do?" Elyse asked.

"I'm calling Doctor Barton," Kara said firmly. "You get in bed and hold him, please."

I felt the bed sag as Elyse got into bed and pulled me into her arms. I cried softly as I heard Kara make the call. Her voice was urgent, but muffled, and I didn't hear the entire conversation. Less than ten minutes later, Al Barton basically burst into our bedroom.

"Let me examine him, please," he said. "Syncope isn't something to mess with."

I felt Elyse move from the bed and opened my eyes to see Al with his stethoscope. He listened to my heart and breathing, then used a penlight to check my eyes. He had me sit up and listened to my breathing again, and put the stethoscope to my neck.

"Checking to make sure you don't have diminished blood flow to your brain," he said. "How long was he out?"

"I'm not sure, maybe five or six minutes," Kara said. "He was only gone for ten before Penny found him on the sidewalk. When we got to him, he was groggy."

I felt pressure on my arm as a cuff was inflated and Al checked my blood pressure.

"Probably vasovagal syncope. In layman's terms, a fainting spell. Has this happened before?"

"I think so," Elyse said. "At least a few times since he was a teenager."

"It's not uncommon in adolescents and young adults. Do you know what brought these spells on?"

"I think the first was when his girlfriend died when he was fifteen," Kara said. "I'm not sure of the other ones, but this one was because Jessica told him she's pregnant and going to have an abortion."

"What?!" Al exclaimed. "She told him this? Tonight?"

"Yes. She called this afternoon out of the blue, asked what time dinner was, ate with us, then took Steve outside and dropped the bomb on him. She left, but I don't know if that was before or after he passed out."

"If she left, knowing he was passed out..." he sighed.

"She didn't know," I said. "She sped away before I fainted."

"Do you know where she went?" he asked.

"I'd guess back to her cousin Carissa's place in Riverside," I said.

"Kara, someone needs to stay with Steve tonight. Preferably awake. If there's any breathing difficulty, or severe headache, or another bout of dizziness, or anything like that, you should call 9-1-1 immediately. I don't think he's at risk for a stroke given his diet and exercise regimen, but even very healthy people can have blood clots. I don't see ANY signs of a stroke or TIA, and I'm not trying to scare you, but keep an eye on him."

"Should he go to the hospital?"

"They'll do exactly what you're doing, and I think the risk is negligible. If you call 9-1-1 immediately, he'll be at the hospital quickly enough to give him emergency treatment. If I thought there was a serious risk, I'd send you now. I don't think there is."

"There are plenty of us here to take turns," Kara said. "We'll take care of him."

"Good. Call me if you have ANY questions, no matter what time. And call 9-1-1 if you see ANYTHING that concerns you. I mean that. Anything at all. I'm going to see if I can track down my wayward Resident and put an end to this entire sordid episode."

"Thanks, Al," I said.

"Yes, thanks, Doctor Barton," Kara said.

He left and Kara got into bed with me while Elyse went to arrange shifts with the girls. I was just so tired that I fell asleep before I even knew it was happening.

November 25, 1988, Chicago, Illinois

I woke before the Sun came up, though there was soft light in the room. I saw I was snuggled between Kara and Elyse, but I sensed another presence. I sat up, blinked my eyes, and shook my head to clear the cobwebs.

"Penny?" I whispered. "What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you don't die, you dope!" she answered equally quietly. "That doctor friend of yours was checking you over when I came back."

"Thanks, Pretty Penny. I'm fine," I said. "Well, healthy I guess."

"You HAVE to explain what is going on!" she said.

Beside me, Kara stirred and sat up.

"How are you?" Kara asked.

"Physically? OK, I guess. Al seemed to agree. Mentally? Emotionally? Don't even ask right now."

"What happened?" Penny demanded. "And where is Jessica?"

Elyse sat up as well.

"You should probably tell her," Elyse said. "After last night, everyone knows something is seriously wrong, if they didn't already suspect."

"What is going on?" Penny asked more forcefully.

"Jess left me," I said.

"What?! Why?! When?! I just thought she was working strange hours!"

"About five weeks ago," I said.

"But what happened last night?"

"I can't say just yet," I said. "Go home, Penny. I'll talk to you; I promise. Just not right now."

"I KNEW you should have married me!" Penny declared.

"You don't share, Penny. Kara's still here, you know."

She sighed, "I know. You better talk to me later today!"

"Penny, let him get his bearings," Elyse said. "Please."

She nodded and reluctantly got up from her perch on the loveseat. She came over and gave me a soft kiss on the lips, the first time she'd done that in a couple of years. I smiled at her and watched her leave the room.

"I need to go meet Jacquelyn," I said.

"You are NOT running this morning," Elyse said. "You need to rest."

"She's expecting me," I protested. "At least let me walk over to see her."

"I'll go with you," Kara said. "But just for you to tell her that you can't run because you had a fainting spell."

"Fine," I sighed. "Remember, I'm supposed to take her to dinner and a movie tomorrow."

"If Doctor Barton says it's OK, then you can. If not, you have to postpone. I'm sure your friend will understand."

"Fine," I sighed.

I scooted down and got out of bed, and went to the shower. Both girls followed me to keep an eye on me.

"Do you know what you're going to do?" Kara asked, as I stood under the hot spray.

"What can I do? She won't talk to me. And last night she told me she hates me enough to KILL my baby."

"She's upset and confused," Kara said.

"That's a bullshit excuse and you know it," I growled. "Quit defending something that has NO defense!"

I turned off the water by savagely twisting the knob and then yanked a towel from the rack. I dried myself roughly, threw the towel in the hamper, and went to the bedroom to dress.

"Relax, Steve," Elyse said.

"Relax? Are you fucking kidding me?"

I grabbed some underwear and put them on, then checked the thermometer attached to the outside of the window by a suction cup, saw that the temperature was 43°F, and put on sweat pants, a T-shirt, and a sweat jacket. Without a word, I went down to the kitchen, poured myself some juice, and drank it down. I went to the front hall to put on my running shoes.

"I'm going alone," I said. "I'm fine. I need to think."

"Steve! You can't!" Kara protested.

"I can. I will. I'll come back when I'm done."

"No!" she said, almost frantic.

"Kara, just stop, OK? I'm in NO mood. Just leave me alone!"

"Let him go," I heard Jennifer say from behind me. "He has to work this out for himself, just like I did with my issues."

I grabbed my Cincinnati Reds baseball cap, and walked out the door, past a sobbing Kara and an angry Elyse. I didn't care at the moment. It had nothing to do with them, and when I got control of my emotions, I'd apologize. For now, I needed the fresh air, I needed to run, and I needed to think.

There were a lot of things I could forgive Jessica for doing, but having an abortion wasn't one of them. Up until she'd told me that the previous night, I'd have taken her back, no questions asked, and done everything I could to help her get reinstated into the Residency program. But after doing what she stated clearly, she was going to do? I didn't know if I even wanted to see her again. It was Becky all over again, though in this case, I'd purposefully set out to create a life.

In a way, it was no different from my reaction to finding out about Rachel Rizzi. If I helped to create a life, then I was responsible for caring for that child; not out of a sense of fatalism, but one of duty and of honor. What kind of man would I be if I didn't care for a child I helped bring into the world? And what kind of man would I be, if I was party to the death of a child, even an unborn one? And to me, when it was my child, even acceptance or tolerance of such a despicable act was beyond the pale.

Yes, there were cases when there were no good options. But Jessica had good options. In fact, she had plenty of them. It felt like she'd decided on the one option that she knew would thrust a dagger right into my heart. An option that would hurt me worse than walking in on her in bed with my best friend. An option that would hurt worse than losing her to estrangement and divorce. I didn't know that I had the capacity to mourn another death, but I was going to be forced to do so, and that both angered and frightened me.

I understood that Jessica was upset, but I couldn't understand why she wouldn't talk to me about it, or anyone else, for that matter. What happened with Carla was long before I met Jessica, and I simply couldn't fathom how another child could somehow be the breaking point when Jennifer had been pregnant before I asked Jessica to marry me, and she knew that Elyse and I were going to have children, and that I would have children with Kara.

All of my three children so far — Jesse, Matthew, and Birgit were 'out of wedlock' in a technical sense. And a fourth was on the way; Elyse was pregnant with the child she already referred to as Michael, but who could just as easily be Michelle in my mind. I simply couldn't understand how the existence of Rachel Marie Rizzi changed anything. It wasn't as if I'd lied to Jessica or hidden anything from her. She knew I'd been with many girls, and she'd known what had happened with Becky. It seemed that I'd found the unforgivable sin in Jessica's book, and I'd committed it long before I met her, and hadn't even realized it because there was know what to have known.

Here I was, the father of three kids, with a thriving business, a 2nd Dan black belt, surrounded by loving friends, and I was at the point where I was ready to just give up. Even the thoughts of Bill Elliott winning the Winston Cup after making his promise to Stephie couldn't pull me from the morass I felt I was sinking into. All because of an unintended pregnancy with a girl who I had no real feelings for and had not seen in four years. Fate was truly fucking with me again.

"Hi, Steve!" Jacquelyn called to me as I rounded the corner, snapping me out of my depressing thoughts.

"Hi," I said, trying not to sound upset. "We need to take it easy today."

"Why?" she asked.

"I had a fainting spell last night. Nothing serious and I got checked out by two medical students and then by a good friend who's the Chief of Emergency Medicine at the hospital. But I don't want to push it. We'll just jog at a slower pace, OK?"

"If you're sure."

"I am. How was your Thanksgiving?"

"Good. I was careful how much I ate. Know how much I weighed this morning?"

"How much?"

"119! I lost 31 pounds in 5 months!"

"Congratulations!" I said, trying to sound happy for her. "How do you feel?"

"Fantastic! It's like I'm a whole new person! Can we keep running together even after tomorrow?"

"Sure," I said, then realizing that didn't sound encouraging, so I added, "I'd like that a lot."

She flashed me a huge smile that penetrated my gloom, and for just a second, I felt happy. Unfortunately, Jessica's words from the night before crashed back into my consciousness, dampening the mood.

"Come on," I said. "We'll stretch and then I'll set the pace."

We ran at about half speed, and I felt OK physically, but I was just barely keeping my emotions in check. I felt like crying, but I didn't want to burden Jacquelyn with my troubles. I would have to figure out a way to be in a better mood on Saturday night, because I didn't want to ruin something she'd been looking forward to for months. Try as I might, though, I couldn't get Jessica's words out of my head.

When we finished our run, Jacquelyn and I agreed that I'd pick her up at her house at 4:20pm the next afternoon so that we could get downtown, have the valet park the car, and be at the restaurant a few minutes early. She was positively glowing when she bounded up the steps into the house, and I waved to her mom, who was watching out the front window as she often did. I walked home slowly, my stomach doing backflips from what was becoming barely controlled rage.

I stopped at the corner of Woodlawn and 53rd Street and took several deep breaths before I turned and walked four blocks north to the house. I walked up the steps and went inside to find Al Barton waiting for me.

"That was dumb," he said, without any preliminaries.

"I've run five days a week for five months, and been to karate seven days a week for nearly as long, and six days a week before that. I used to swim 50 laps every morning in my parents' pool when I lived at home and ran regularly when I first moved here. I jogged today. Slowly. I didn't push myself."

"It was still dumb, Steve. We don't know for sure what the problem was. I came to check on you this morning and Kara and Elyse said that you had gone running."

"Fine. It was dumb. I needed to do it. Let me get a shower and you can see for yourself that I'm fine."

I walked past him and up to my room. I quickly stripped off my sweat suit, T-shirt, and underwear and took a quick shower. I dried, dressed, and went back downstairs. Al was waiting for me in my study with a very cross Kara.

"Sit," he said, indicating the edge of the desk.

I waited while he took my pulse, listened to my heart and breathing, checked my eyes, and then pulled a sphygmomanometer from his bag and checked my blood pressure.

"You heart rate is low, but that's consistent with being a runner. I'm a bit worried about your low blood pressure. Has it always been low?"

"95 over 60 is pretty common if I'm relaxed. It's sometimes a bit lower. The same with my resting heart rate being around 58 to 60. You didn't check, but my body temperature runs about two degrees cooler than normal."

"How many bouts of syncope have you had? When did they start?"

"The first one I remember was what the girls told you. It was when Birgit, my Swedish girlfriend, died when I was 15. She's who Kara's daughter is named for."

"OK. That's more than just a little weird, but with you, I expect weird! Go on."

"Anyway, when my friend Melanie told me about it, I fainted. The next time I remember was when I was sixteen and a girl called me to tell me she was pregnant; a pregnancy that she trapped me into. I didn't pass out, but my head spun and I was unsteady for a few minutes. She later had an abortion over my protests."

Al raised an eyebrow at that revelation, and I knew that I'd need to talk to him about it.

"I'll explain about Becky later. Continuing with the answer to your question, the next time I recall was when Kara told me that she was going to take a year off between High School and college, and not move to Chicago as we'd planned. I don't think I passed out, but it was close."

"You didn't," Kara said. "But you were really out of it for a few minutes."

"I came close to fainting at the sight of my friend Stephie's coffin at her funeral — I became very lightheaded and nauseated, and my knees weakened. I also nearly fainted when I was served with the papers for the paternity suit about five weeks ago. And then last night I actually fainted," I said. "I, uh, have also had some light-headedness after particularly intense sex."

Doctor Barton chuckled, "I think we can attribute that last one to other causes, though honestly, they're all probably related to your low blood pressure. Do you get dizzy when you stand up quickly?"

"I used to until I was like twelve and thirteen," I said. "But I learned not to stand up so quickly."

"Then I think that's it. Your response to emotional shocks, combined with your low blood pressure, produces vasovagal syncope — fainting spells. When was your last complete physical?"

"In the Spring," I said. "I see Doctor Kulczycki, who has offices in the medical center."

"I know of him, but don't know him. He's an internal medicine guy?"

"Yes. I also saw him about my whiplash and concussion after a minor car accident in Georgia several years ago, in addition to my annual physicals."

"Do you know your blood and urine test results?"

"All good. My fasting blood sugar was good, along with the other stuff they check, and so were all the things they check for in urine. My cholesterol was really good."

"How much caffeine are you drinking?"

"I usually have a cup or two of coffee in the morning, and a cup or two of tea during the day. And some soft drinks, but I don't really keep track."

"I'd prefer you gave up carbonated sugar water, but the coffee and tea are fine, at least for now. You eat regularly? And a good mix of all food groups?"

"Yes. And very few sweets. My one vice is very good ice cream."

"Me, too," he chuckled. "I'm pretty sure that you're OK, but I would like you to call Doctor Kulczycki and make an appointment just to be sure. Have him do a complete blood and urine workup, and tell him everything you told me. Tell him that I think you should have a stress test, just to be sure. You ran without any difficulty this morning, so it most likely won't show anything, but being hooked up to the heart monitor would show us any irregularities."

"OK. I'll do that," I said. "Did you find Jessica?"

"I know where she is, but she won't take my calls. I'm tempted to drive out to Riverside and camp out until I can corner her and try to talk some sense into her. Every day she stays away, it becomes harder for her to be reinstated. As it is, they might insist she start this entire year over."

"Shit," I said.

"That's a very likely outcome, and she'd also be on probation. If she'd just accepted the counseling offer, we wouldn't have this problem."

"She's not going to," I said. "Aborting our baby is her announcing to the world that she's done with me. And maybe everything. I don't know anymore. And I'm at a point where I'm finding it harder and harder to give a damn."

"Just relax, Steve. I doubt that she's done anything yet, but I think you just pushed me to drive out there before Monday and see what I can do. Let me ask you, will you help her?"

"Not if she kills my baby. Then I'm done with her."

"That might just push her over the edge," he sighed.

"Yeah? And what about her pushing ME over the edge? If that happens, I'm done, Al. I just won't fucking care. I'm sorry."

Doctor Barton nodded, his face grim. He packed up his bag and left without another word.

"You scared me!" Kara said. "And you're scaring me now!"

"Kara, I am not going to hurt myself, if that's what you're worried about. I couldn't do that to you, Elyse, Jesse, Matthew, or Birgit. Or to my employees. I'm upset. No, I'm beside myself. But I'm not going to kill myself. You know me better than that. Beyond that, I don't know what I'm going to do, except have breakfast. Want some?"

"I guess. I'm worried about you, Snuggle Bear. We all are."

"I know. But I need time and space. I'm not in a good place right now. I promise I won't cut you out. But I do need some time to think."

"OK," she said.

We went to the kitchen, and I fixed breakfast. As more of my housemates and their guests filtered in, I added more bacon and eggs, though I had made enough waffle batter to serve everyone.

"You OK, Big Brother?" my sister asked when she and Jorge came in.

"Physically I'm fine. I jogged this morning, and Doctor Barton was here to check on me. He thinks I'm fine, but he wants me to see Doctor Kulczycki to be safe."

"What are you going to do?"

"What can I do? She won't talk to me. The first words she said to me were that she's pregnant. The second words were that she's having an abortion. Al Barton is going to try to talk to her, but she's cut him off just as she has everyone else."

"That sucks. I can't believe all of this is happening because of a kid you fathered four years ago!"

There were gasps and looks of shock from Jorge, Leila, Trent, Alejandra, and Stavros.

"God damn it!" I growled angrily at Stephanie. "That was NOT public information!"

I dropped the spatula and walked out of the kitchen and to the front hallway. I got my shoes from the rack and started to put them on.

"Steve! I'm sorry!" Stephanie said, frantically grabbing at my arm.

"Just shut the fuck up," I snarled. "Get the fuck away from me! You've done enough fucking damage for one day!"

I pushed her off of me so that I could tie my shoes, then stood up to get my jacket from the closet.

"Steve, stop!" Kara said.

"I need some air," I said, thrusting my hands through the arm holes in my jacket and pulling it on.

I grabbed my fedora and put it on, then opened the door.

"I'll be at the office once I finish my walk. I just need some time alone."

"Big Brother, don't..." was all I heard before I slammed the door shut behind me.

The cat was totally out of the bag now, and in an uncontrolled fashion because my sister had a big mouth. That was what had concerned Bethany all along, that she'd slip that way about our incestuous relationship. I didn't think so, but after what had just happened, it was certainly possible. Not that it mattered at this point. If Jess followed through on what she said, we were done. I saw no possible way that I could take her back.

I walked north on Woodlawn for a few blocks, then turned towards the lake. I was royally pissed at my sister and needed to cool down. I walked about six blocks towards the lake, then turned south, and eventually made my way to the office. I used my access card to get into the building, disarmed the alarm, turned on the lights, and went to my office. I realized that I hadn't eaten, so I went back outside and walked down the street to get a bagel and coffee, then returned to the office. I sat down at my desk and turned on my computer.

I needed to get my mind off Jessica. That meant trying to occupy my mind. I munched the bagel and decided to start with checking my mail on the Unix system. I fired up Kermit and used the serial connection that I'd set up to connect to the computer and log in. I found a reply to my latest move in the chess ladder game, checked my magnetic chess set, and contemplated my next move. About ten minutes later, I sent my move to my opponent. It probably wasn't the best move I could have made, but given my state of mind, I just didn't care.

Next I looked at the results of the previous set of Diplomacy moves that I'd submitted and sighed deeply. I'd been screwed by the French player which had caused what should have been a sure victory against Germany to turn into a defeat. I didn't see how my position could be recovered, but I could ensure that the French position was completely undermined by making a deal with Germany and Italy. I wrote to those players proposing my plan and hoped they'd accept it. I'd teach the jerk playing France a real lesson. Revenge would be sweet.

I checked the newsgroups and didn't see anything that held my attention, so I disconnected. I fired up cc:Mail and found an e-mail from Cindi to Julia and Elyse, and cc'd to me, recommending that we hire Andy Stevens, as well as a request to officially put Barbara in charge of the Western region as of December 1st, which I felt was certainly deserved. I also approved of the raise that would come with the promotion.

Because we'd been closed for Thanksgiving, there wasn't anything else of interest in my mailbox, either the electronic one or the paper one. I picked up the folder that had the notes from my last meeting with Jeri on Monday and went to my white board to sketch out a plan for the interface modules which I needed to write for the Windows version of our front-end to talk to the server and database. I couldn't concentrate and tossed the papers on my desk and sat down again. I finished the last of my coffee and was just about to go to the machine and make a pot when I heard a voice.

"Hiding out?" Penny asked.

"More or less," I sighed. "How'd you know I was here?"

"Kara. She thought maybe you would talk to me."

"I don't really feel like talking to anyone right now. I'm confused, upset, angry, and hurt."

"Talk to me, Steve!" she insisted. "What the fuck is going on?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," I sighed.

"It can't be that bad, can it?"

"It can't? You have NO fucking idea how bad it is!"

"Steve," she said gently. "It's me, Penny. Just calm down and tell me."

She was right, but that didn't make it any easier. I sighed deeply, then took a couple of deep breaths.

"I don't know if you remember a girl I dated briefly named Carla. I'm not even sure if you met her."

"The girl who was a photographer or something?"

I nodded, "That's her. Anyway, about five weeks ago she filed a lawsuit against me saying that I was the father of her nearly four-year-old daughter."

"Holy shit! Are you?"

"Probably. At this point, I'd be more surprised to find out that I wasn't."

"Why wait so long to tell you? And why sue you?"

"I have no fucking idea," I said. "If she'd come to talk to me, I would have asked for a paternity test, and if it had shown I was the little girl's father, I'd have helped Carla take care of our daughter. But Carla didn't. The first I knew about it was when I was served the papers five weeks ago."

"And that's why Jessica is upset?"

"I think so. But until last night, she hadn't talked to me since I told her about Rachel — that's the little girl's name. Jessica ran away, and then she got into really serious trouble at work. They suspended her."

"Wait? Like suspended from school?"

"Yes; exactly like that. She's been kicked out of the program because she refused to go for counseling. She might not be able to continue. Ever!"

"What is going on? This makes no sense!"

"Tell me about it," I sighed.

"What exactly happened last night?"

"She called out of the blue and asked what time dinner was. She wouldn't talk to me on the phone, so Sofia told her what time to show up. Jessica came right on time, we ate, then she asked me to come outside with her. You know the rest. We walked to her car and with no preliminaries, she informed me that she was pregnant. Then she said that she was going to have an abortion."

"What the fuck?!"

"Yeah," I said.

"So are you getting divorced?"

"I suppose that's next. I can't take her back if she kills my baby."

"No, I don't see you doing that. It's like what you told me about with you and Becky."

"All over again," I sighed.

"Oh, Steve! I'm so sorry. I know how much you love kids and how much they mean to you! I wish I could help!"

"I don't think anyone can at this point, Pretty Penny."

"Are you sure? Maybe I could help you feel better," she said.

I shook my head, "No. You'll only make things worse by cheating on Terry. As much as I want to take you into my arms and make love to you, it would only make things worse all around. Right now, I just want to be alone."

"Are you sure?" Penny asked.

"I'm not sure of much of anything right now, except that I love my kids, I love Kara, and I love my friends. Everything else? I just don't know."

"You aren't going to get all depressed and do something to hurt yourself, are you?"

"No," I said. "That would hurt so many people. I could never do that to Kara, Jesse, Matthew, Birgit, or any of the rest of you; especially you. Don't worry. I came here to work to try to get my mind off the mess. I'll be fine. Go back home, please."

"Promise you'll call me if you need anything? And that you'll talk to me every single day?"

I smiled, "Yes, Penny. Now scoot."

She came over to me and gave me a big hug, then kissed me on the cheek. She walked out of my office and a moment later I heard the outside door open and close. I checked the clock, and it was still too early for lunch. I wasn't sure if I'd go home or eat at a café or deli, but that was a question for later. I tried again to work on my design and couldn't make any real progress. My mind kept going back to Jessica and the abortion.

I threw the papers on the desk in disgust and went to the kitchenette and got myself a Coke from the fridge. I wandered aimlessly around the office for a bit, then went to my desk. I couldn't focus on my design, so I pulled up the bug lists for the medical and legal software and decided to try fixing bugs. I made almost no progress doing that either, so I shut everything down, put my feet up on my desk and closed my eyes.

The turmoil of the previous five weeks was weighing on me, and the added stress from the previous night made it impossible for me to concentrate. I thought about going home for a sauna, but I didn't want to be around anyone right now. At least not anyone who knew what was going on. There would just be too many questions at home, thanks to my little sister. And I didn't feel like answering questions.

I got myself another Coke, and was standing staring out the window at the building behind ours, when I heard the outside door open. I wondered if Penny had come back, or if someone else was coming to check on me. I wouldn't have put it past Kara to send someone else on some pretext, just to make sure I was OK. I hadn't unlocked the door, and I knew Penny would have ensured it was locked when she left, so I knew it had to be someone with card access. If it wasn't Penny, it was probably going to be Dave or Cindi. I was surprised at who showed up at my door.

"Steve? What are you doing in the office?" Kimmy asked.

"I should ask you the same thing," I said. "I own the place. What's your excuse?"

"I was walking by to get some lunch at the deli down the street and saw the lights on. I thought maybe someone forgot to turn them off on Wednesday when they locked up. Then I saw the alarm was disarmed and came to see who was here. What are you doing here?"

"Trying to work," I said.

"Why aren't you home with your family?"

"I needed to get away," I said.

"Those problems are really bad, whatever they are. Why don't you take a break and have lunch with me?"

"I'm not sure I'd be good company right about now," I said.

"Nonsense. You need to eat. Come have lunch with me."

I thought about it for a moment and decided to go. Maybe lunch with Kimmy could take my mind off of Jessica, even for a few minutes. Maybe it could help me collect my thoughts.

"Sure. Why not?"

Chapter 2 »

Close
 

WARNING! ADULT CONTENT...

Storiesonline is for adult entertainment only. By accessing this site you declare that you are of legal age and that you agree with our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.