Chapter 43: Forgiveness

April 11, 1989, Chicago, Illinois

Jorge finally came home on Tuesday afternoon. He was sore, but recovering. What hadn't recovered was my sister's attitude. She'd at least started going to classes after skipping three days, and seemed to be caught up with a bit of help from some friends. But on the topic of Jorge and his family, she was immovable. The González family had finally gone home earlier in the day, once Jorge's release papers had been signed. I only hoped things would improve between my sister and Jorge, but I didn't hold out a lot of hope.

I took the afternoon off, as did Jennifer and Josie both, so that we could get Jorge home and settled. We'd moved most of the furniture from the Indian room and put the spare bed frame and mattresses in there, as well as a spare desk. I also moved the small fridge from the attic room into the Indian room so he could keep cold drinks close to hand and added a hotplate so he could keep tea or coffee warm.

"This is too much, Steve," he protested. "Really!"

"No, it's not!" I countered firmly. "You're family, Jorge. We'll be here this afternoon, and starting tomorrow, Veronica will help with anything you need if we're not around. I guarantee that Jesse will annoy the hell out of you, too!"

"No way! Jesse and I are pals. I'm sure he'll play games with me and talk with me."

"Oh, I'm sure he will!" I chuckled. "Until you can't stand it anymore!"

"I'll read him some of my technical manuals. That'll put him to sleep!"

"No, it won't! He'll go off and build a 'Blue Box' and we'll have a hell of a time explaining to the FBI that my three-year-old son was the one making free phone calls to cute girls in Russia and Sweden!"

Jorge laughed and winced, "Don't make me laugh so hard!"

Once he was settled, we left him to take a nap and sat in the great room.

"How's Katy?" Josie asked.

"Hanging in there. She's had Lauren over a few times and has been hanging out with the rest of us more. Kenneth decided to sign the waiver, so once they're separated for six months, they'll be granted what amounts to a 'no-fault' divorce. What happens then is anyone's guess. I'm a bit concerned about Lauren's situation, but I think her goal is to finish college before she comes out to her evangelical parents."

"Oh, that'll be fun," Josie said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yeah. But that's a year from next month, I guess. I'm not sure what they'll do until then. How are things with the two of you?"

"Great! You know us. Mellow and boring. And that's just the way we both like it. Jesse provides all the excitement we can handle!"

"He provides enough excitement for an army of moms and dads," I chuckled.

"I saw in the paper this morning that your Penguins swept New York," Jennifer said. "Do they have a real shot?"

"They'll most likely have to play the Flyers next, and the Flyers' goalie, Ron Hextall, is playing really well. But if they can get under his skin they can beat him, because that causes him to commit a TON of penalties. But honestly, even if they were to beat the Flyers, I don't see anyone beating the Flames or Canadiens."

"What about your driver friend?"

"He had a bad start to the year so far, because he broke his wrist in a crash before the Daytona 500. That makes it tough for him to repeat unless he goes on a tear similar to what he did back in '85 when he won 11 races. But I don't think that's going to happen. He kept his promise, and that's what's important."

"I heard you decided to go to the race this Summer. I was surprised by that."

"Jason asked. I just couldn't say 'no' to him."

"Are you going to go see Stephie?"

"No. She's right here," I said, tapping my chest over my heart.

That evening, after karate, I was watching the Flyers play the Capitals. The Pens had closed out the Rangers two days earlier, so I had tuned into the Flyers game to check out the competition. Late in the third period, the Capitals pulled their goalie, and when they shot the puck deep into the Flyers zone, Ron Hextall neatly played the puck, skated behind his net and then fired it down the ice for a goal!

"That's the first time it's ever happened in the playoffs! Ron Hextall with 1:02 to go!" 'Doc' Emrick, who was announcing the game, laughed.

"That's pretty funny, that they were just talking about that," Jessica said.

"Hextall is known for that kind of thing," I said. "He had one last year during the regular season. With a two-goal lead, he can take that risk. And this one was even short-handed! Last season, it was against the Bruins, but as I said, that was in a regular season game. He was the first goalkeeper to ever score a goal intentionally. A goalie named Bill Smith was credited with a goal when he was the last one to touch the puck before a player on the other team scored an 'own goal'."

"Ouch. Putting the puck in your own net?"

"It was a bad pass," I said. "It made the news because it was the first time a goalie ever got credit for a goal. Nobody besides Hextall has ever scored intentionally."

"And we saw history made!" Kara said.

"Yep! Let's check on Jorge and head up to bed," I said.

We walked over to the Indian room just as my sister came down the stairs. She looked sheepishly at me and went to the door of the Indian room.

"Hi," she said to Jorge. "Can we talk?"

Jessica, Kara, and I decided we'd just go up to bed and leave those two to talk.

April 12, 1989, Chicago, Illinois

"Did you see this?" I sighed. "I knew there were anti-Soviet protests going on in Soviet Georgia, but it looks like things got out of hand a few nights ago. The Soviets say that demonstrators were responsible for 20 deaths due to the crowd panicking and trampling each other. The Georgian government blames Soviet Special Forces for attacking peaceful demonstrators and brutally killing nineteen women. Supposedly, they showed video on Georgian TV."

"That's what you were worried about," Jessica said.

"True, but in Poland or the Baltics. I know there are terrible relations between Georgians and Russians, but Stalin was a Georgian. And Ivan Voronin's boss is Eduard Shevardnadze, who's a Georgian. This isn't good, to say the least. A lot depends on what the people do next, but things could get very ugly very fast. I'm afraid my estimate of ten years might be off. With Poland agreeing to legalize Solidarity and having semi-free elections in June, THAT could blow up."

"How badly?"

"World War III badly. Though I honestly think the West would simply complain loudly the way they did in 1956 and 1968, rather than intervene, if the Russians send in tanks."

"How about we change to a happier subject?" Jessica asked. "What time are we meeting the Evans and Jaegers for dessert?"

"8:00pm at Maxim's. Kurt arranged for a birthday cake and ice cream. There was no way to keep it secret from Bethany, given that today is her birthday."

"She's twenty-six, right?" Jessica asked.

"Yes. She's all of ten days older than me. Unlike a certain person at this breakfast table!"

"Watch it, Tiger!" Jessica laughed.

"Why do you let him get away with that?" Veronica asked. "It's not like you're old!"

"Because she IS old!" I smirked. "I have a firm rule of not being with girls more than two years older than I am. She made the cutoff by a mere TWELVE DAYS."

"What the heck?" Veronica asked.

I chuckled, "That was back in High School. I tried to stick to girls close to my own age."

"After the first time!" Kara teased. "He was fourteen, and she was twenty-three!"

"No way!" Veronica laughed.

"It's true," I said. "It's also true that Doctor Adams is my OLD lady!"

"Aunt Chess is old!" Jesse giggled.

"OK, Tiger, you are SO dead now!"

"Dada drink Mountain Dew!" Jesse smirked.

"Traitor!" I laughed.

"And when did Dada drink this Mountain Dew, Jesse?" Jessica asked.

"When he arrived home! You were being a doctor!"

"Well, Tiger?" Jessica said, tapping her fingers.

"Yeah, yeah," I sighed. "I should have known better than to marry a doctor and cultivate a friendship with another one!"

"We want you around for a long time, Tiger."

"I'll die of boredom," I said. "You're taking away all my vices!"

"Have sex! You like that!" Jessica teased.

"Dada likes to kiss!" Jesse giggled.

"On that note, Sir, you're going to play in the sunroom!" Veronica said, shaking her head.

"As much fun as this has been," I said sarcastically, "I'm going to go say goodbye to the kids, check on Jorge, and head to work! See you two at counseling!"

I kissed my wives, kissed my kids, checked on Jorge, and then headed to the office. I wondered what had come of my sister and Jorge's talk, but I hadn't had time to discuss it with him before leaving for work, nor would I likely have time during the evening, as we had counseling and Bethany's birthday party.

I was happy to have a relatively quiet day, including the two karate practices. The over-protective moms had backed off a bit, and I'd relented a bit in not using my 'authoritative' voice to talk to the kids. I could never exactly mimic Pete's 'Law Enforcement' voice, but I dialed it back from anything even close. That seemed to placate those moms. The kids were responding well to the discipline, and I thought a couple of them might actually have a shot at advancing to at least blue belts.

I worked until I had to leave for the marriage counseling session with Doctor Green, then walked quickly to the medical building near the hospital where he had his office. After some preliminaries, Doctor Green asked a question that Jessica had answered for me during our talk. And I was glad I already knew the answer, so it didn't come as a shock.

"Jessica, why did you want to marry Steve?" Doctor Green asked.

She looked at me, as if to apologize, and I smiled back to let her know it was OK.

"I told Steve this already, but it sounds so mean. I always knew I'd be married to my job, and I wanted a husband who wouldn't interfere with my career, would take care of the kids, and help me achieve my goals. I needed someone I could show off. You know, look good in a tux when necessary, was smart enough to not make me look bad, and who was skilled enough in bed to keep me happy. Steve fit the bill perfectly. And he came with a girl who could occupy him when I wasn't around to keep him from straying.

"He called it a 'trophy husband' and I have to admit he's probably right. It's like the male medical students who wanted the airhead bimbo who looked like a playboy model, would stay home and take care of the kids, be a slut in the bedroom, and look good on their arms. And not complain if they worked a lot, so long as there was plenty of money to spend. I hated those guys who thought that way. And then I basically did the exact same thing."

Kara giggled, "He IS a slut in the bedroom!"

"I'm sure sex is NOT the problem between the three of you!" Doctor Green chuckled. "I think we can cover that much, much later. How does that make you feel, Steve?"

"I guess I more or less knew it, even if I didn't recognize it for what it was. But I'm not any better, really."

"Why do you say that?"

"I married Jess because Bethany dumped me," I said.

"And I knew that, Tiger," Jessica said.

"Aren't we the pair," I sighed.

"Kara," Doctor Green said. "What's your take on this? And why did you agree to this polyamorous relationship?"

"First, I think Steve and Jess both needed each other, and they still do. They may not have recognized it yet, but I think they do. As for me, I didn't think I deserved Steve after how I'd treated him. The fact that he even let me back into his life was a miracle. He never, ever gave up on me, even when I treated him like dirt. So when I came to live in Chicago, I told him I just wanted to be with him, in whatever capacity he would let me, and if he would, to have children with me.

"I didn't need any paper to prove how much I cared for him or he for me. And I didn't think I'd be the best wife for him. I felt I could provide him emotional support, and be a confidante, a muse, and a lover. But not his legal wife. I didn't deserve that. I thought for a long time he would marry Bethany, but I felt that was a mistake for quite a few reasons, mostly because I don't think she would have been able to handle how he was destined to live his life.

"Steve met Jess when Bethany was in the hospital after a bad accident, and Jessica started pursuing him. I met her and realized right away that she was exactly what Steve needed. A smart, driven girl who was his intellectual equal, and who could provide the structure for his life that nobody else seemed to be able to provide. When I discovered that she was OK with him having me, too, I decided she was perfect. When I discovered that she was interested in sex with me, I was ecstatic. That's when I basically hatched my plan to get them together. Bethany dumping him was a godsend."

"And you're all OK with the fact that none of you came into this relationship because you were in love with each other or, for what I guess I'd call traditional reasons?"

We all shook our heads to acknowledge his question.

"Doctor Green, I don't believe in romantic love," I said. "Or at least I don't think it's permanent. I do believe in «agápē», self-giving love. Love that is a decision. I made a decision to love both of these women and I intend to keep it, no matter what."

"We're running short on time, but I'm curious, have you ever been in love? Had someone be in love with you?"

"Absolutely. I just don't trust that feeling. It's too easy for it to make a real hash of things. I've seen that, too."

"If you can decide to love someone, can't you un-decide?" he asked.

"I suppose that I could, but I won't. It goes against how I'm wired. I love every single person who I've ever decided to love. And that won't change. I've fallen in and out of love plenty of times. Ask Kara, I'm sure she'll tell you I'm in love with our friend Kimmy. But it'll fade. It always does. Unless I decide to love Kimmy, and then it will be forever."

"And that's OK with you, Kara? Jessica? That Steve isn't 'in love' with you?"