Chapter 41: Feeling Out Of Sorts

April 1, 1989, Chicago, Illinois

As I walked to Kimmy's apartment, I wondered if I should try some kind of 'April Fool' joke, but decided against it. I usually found them annoying, and it didn't seem right to try to perpetrate one if I didn't like them myself. I put those thoughts out of my mind and thought instead of all the changes that were occurring in my life.

Penny was no longer working for NIKA, though that was a temporary situation. On the other hand, her upcoming marriage and the birth of her son or daughter were not temporary. Katy was living with us, and from conversations she'd had with me and separately with Elyse, it was clear that she wanted to stay at least until the end of the Summer, if not longer. We'd also have Abbie with us for the Summer as well, as I'd confirmed to her that it was OK to stay for as long as she liked.

I'd talked with Leila and Alejandra, and they'd both said that they felt as if they were interfering with my family, especially with the new babies on the way, and despite my attempts to assure them that wasn't the case, they had decided to move to a Greek Town loft apartment next door to where Sofia and Stavros were living. They'd stay until the end of the school year, then move their things to the new place. They were heading home over the Summer, but at slightly different times and for different lengths of time.

Alejandra was only going home for two weeks and taking Trent with her to meet her parents. That revelation had surprised me, but she said he was prepared to move to Buenos Aires with her. Leila was going home for about six weeks, as this would be her last Summer before she'd start clinical work. She'd found a married professor at Loyola that she'd been seeing quite a bit of. I cautioned her about the risks, but because he wasn't in the medical school, she didn't see a problem with it.

The final change I wasn't sure about. Stephanie had apparently had some kind of conversation with Jorge, though neither of them was talking about it. He had made a snide remark when I'd called my sister his girlfriend, correcting me to use 'roommate'. I'd wanted to ask my sister about it, but it wasn't my place. She had to work things out with him without any interference from me, though I was worried about Jorge. He hadn't seemed like he wanted to discuss it on the way to breakfast, so I'd just let it go.

Nothing had come of Stephanie's encounter with the purported gang members. The police seemed to accept her self-defense story, and according to Melanie, it was unlikely that a prosecutor would file charges in a case like hers. The investigation hadn't been formally closed, but from what she could glean from the detectives, they weren't actively pursuing charges against either Stephanie or the three guys she'd beaten up.

As I walked up to Kimmy's building, I put all of that out of my mind and focused on where I was and who I was going to see. The one constant that I'd had since Thanksgiving was the calming influence of Kimmy Bradford, and that's what I sought today. I'd made the decision before most of the chaos had hit, and now it looked like I'd been right on target with my decision. I pressed the button and Kimmy buzzed me up.

"Hi!" she said, melting into my arms.

I didn't say anything, because our lips met in a soft kiss that lasted several minutes. Kimmy broke it and let me inside, shutting the door behind us.

"You ate already, right?" she asked.

"Yes, I did, thanks."

"And you can stay until dinner time?"

"Around 5:00pm," I said. "So we have about five hours."

"What can I do for you?" she asked.

"I just want to spend time with you," I said.

She smiled and led me to the bedroom where she undressed me, then undressed herself. She led me to the bed and proceeded to make love to me. When I'd cum, she stretched out on top of me and I wrapped my arms around her.

"Thanks," I said. "That is exactly what I needed."

"I noticed you were a bit stressed Thursday and Friday," she said.

"Just a bunch of things going on. In the end, nothing that's earth-shattering, just sort of the usual craziness that seems to follow me around. Nothing came of the police talking to my little sister, which was probably the biggest potential problem, though she and her boyfriend seem to be having some trouble at the moment."

"But everything is OK with you and Jessica and Kara?"

"Absolutely. You know the issue with Penny, because she talked to you and Elyse about taking time off. I think I told you about my friend Katy who is getting a divorce and living with us for the time being. But I don't think I told you that Alejandra and Leila, two of my housemates, are moving out at the end of the semester. It seems the additions to my family are a bit much for a couple of girls in medical school."

"You do have to admit that having five kids at your age is pretty extreme!" Kimmy giggled. "I don't think I'm ready for anything remotely like that at this point! Too noisy and too complicated!"

"I suppose that does make sense. But I love it!"

"May I ask how often you plan to come see me?"

"I honestly don't know," I replied. "But you're supposed to come to dinner tomorrow. If you want to, that is."

"Sure! I'd love to! Your wives are totally awesome! Maybe we could even use the sauna."

"Just come for dinner and we'll take it from there, OK?"

"Sure! Absolutely! Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"What you're doing right now is perfect. Just you lying there on top of me is comforting and soothing."

"Do you want to take a bubble bath?" she asked.

I nodded and kissed her, and we did just that. We made love once more after the bath, this time with me ravishing her as she asked. Then, after a shower and a deep kiss, I headed home.

April 2, 1989, Chicago, Illinois

Jolene and I met outside the Sociology building at 10:45am, and followed a student aide into the building. He unlocked the lecture hall and said that he'd be back at 12:15pm to lock up again. Shortly after we were inside, Melody, Peggy, Lisa, and Jenna arrived, along with their friends Len and Bob. That meant we'd have at least six people, which I thought would be good for a first time. By 11:00am, five more students had filed in — three guys and two girls, giving us eleven total.

"Welcome," I said promptly at 11:00am. "I'm Steve Adams and this is my friend Jolene Baxter. And this is our life skills and self-discovery seminar. Once a month, we'll meet here for an hour. We encourage you to get together with each other, or with other friends, and work on the things we're going to talk about. First, let us introduce ourselves properly."

I gave a quick background of myself, including my time in Sweden, the fact that I started and ran my own company, and that I was a karate instructor with a black belt. Jolene gave her background, mentioning that she was a single mom, that she was a manager in a medical office, and that she, too, was a karate instructor with a black belt.

"The very first thing I want to say about this seminar is that you can only get out of it what you put into it. I know that sounds trite, but it's true. The more honest and open you are, the more success you'll have on the path of self-discovery and self-improvement that we're going to put you on. Our goal here is frank, open discussion, and that can be uncomfortable. But I urge you to stick it out and give it a try.

"I'm going to pick on somebody I know, Melody Marvel. She's going to be an example of how this will go. Today it's going to be fairly easy questions. They'll get harder. Melody, tell me your most important goal in life."

"That's not easy!" she protested.

"Maybe not, but what is it?"

"To get a good job when I get out of college," she said.

"And how does that make you a better person or the world a better place?"

"You didn't ask about that! You asked what my goal was!"

"Is a good job the most important thing in your life? Really? More important than, say, finding true love? Or children? Or being happy? Or living a long life? Or any of a thousand other things that I can think of?"

"Well, no."

"So, want to try again?" I asked.

"What's your goal?" she asked, challenging me.

"Self-improvement. To be the best 'me' I can be."

"But what does that even mean?"

"I have no idea! And that's OK! That's where self-discovery comes in. Who am I? Why am I here? What does it all mean? I don't have answers. I'm on the path, but I'm not sure where it ultimately leads. Are there waypoints on the path? Marriage? Kids? Grandkids? Jobs? Sure. But those are things that I do, not things that I am."

"Don't worry, Melody," Jolene said. "He does this to everyone, and he's been doing it for a long time. The question boils down to how you can be the best person you can be, no matter what you do or what happens around you."

"And what it means to live a life that you can call 'well-lived'," I said. "And in the end, you're the only judge of that. Not anyone else."

"I guess I want to be happy," she said.

"OK. What does that mean?" I asked.

She sighed, "I KNEW you were going to ask that. I'm not sure."

"Good. Then part of this is about figuring out exactly what that means."

"How do we do that?" a guy asked.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Phil," he said.

"By doing what we're doing here. Asking questions. Giving answers. And those answers yield more questions, which yield more answers."

"So kind of like Socrates?" he asked.

"Exactly like Socrates! Though I'm not going to call him, Plato, and Aristotle 'morons'," I chuckled.

"The Princess Bride!" Len laughed.

"Exactly. Vizzini was outsmarted because he didn't consider ALL the possibilities. That's part of what we're here to talk about. How to think 'outside the box', so to speak. How to decide which cup of wine to choose, or from the other side, how to win that challenge. How to see possibilities you never imagined."

"Deep," he said.

"Very!" I chuckled.

From that point, there was solid participation by everyone in the room until we had to end because we ran out of time. I invited everyone back for the next session on the 7th of May, and encouraged them to keep talking to each other. Melody, Lisa, Peggy, and Jenna stopped to talk to me outside the building.

"That was fun!" Lisa said. "Can you do this more than once a month?"

"We're doing it in two weeks at IIT. You're welcome to come there. It's in the Stuart Building."

"Very cool! I might do that!" she said.

"I'd hoped to see Cheryl," I said.

"She's not talking to any of us right now," Jenna said. "She's too busy, well, being a slut."

I sighed, "That's the wrong response. Will she talk to anyone?"

"No, not even your sister, and they were pretty good friends. Cheryl's been hanging out with some really strange people and hooking up with strange guys."

"I just hope that she's taking proper precautions," I said. "Sorry, but I need to get home for lunch, so if you all are interested, come down to IIT. It'll start the same way, but I don't have a specific destination in mind for how the conversation will go."

We all said 'goodbye', I walked Jolene home, and then I headed home myself. I had a quick lunch, then joined my wives to watch the race from Darlington. We'd missed the rare Easter-weekend race the previous week, and Bill had finished tenth, which wasn't a terrible showing, but given his poor finishes in the previous races, his chances of a repeat win of the Winston Cup were fading fast. He did better in this race, finishing sixth, just ahead of Alan Kulwicki. That seventh-place finish for Kulwicki, combined with a 33rd for Dale Earnhardt, catapulted Alan into the points lead by eighteen, over Dale. Bill was mired in 13th, 189 points back.

"Not bad, not bad," I said. "Bill's improving, but seeing Alan leading the points? That's fantastic. I know it's early in the season, but that would be a perfect follow-up to Bill's win last year. If Bill can't win it, I'm sure rooting for Kulwicki!"

"When is the race in Alabama?" Jessica asked.

"July 30th. And then the Michigan race is August 20th."

"What are we going to do about the baby?" she asked.

"I'm guessing you won't be able to go to the race," I said. "That's only three weeks after you're due, and I don't think we want to take a newborn to Georgia!"

"No, probably not. Are you two taking Birgit?"

"No. We're taking Jesse. I promised him a long time ago he could go to a race, and Jennifer said it would be OK to take him now that he's three."

"Going on twenty-three!" Jessica laughed. "I can watch Birgit on that Saturday when Veronica has her time off."

"Jennifer volunteered, if we needed her, but you have priority, of course. Anyway, I need to start working on dinner. Kimmy will be here soon."

I went to the kitchen and started on dinner. Elyse came into the kitchen to help, and Kimmy arrived a few minutes later. She went to hang out with Kara and Jessica while Elyse and I cooked, and when we had dinner ready, everyone sat at the table.

"This is my friend Kimmy," Kara said. "She works for Elyse as an accounting clerk at NIKA."

I smiled at Kara, because she'd neatly deflected any potential questions about Kimmy from anyone at the house. We all enjoyed our dinner and when we finished, Alejandra and Leila offered to clean up and Kara suggested a sauna with a smirk. I suspected that had been discussed by the girls while I'd been cooking, Fifteen minutes later we were sitting naked in the sauna with steam wafting from the stones. I was mildly surprised when Veronica came in.

"Getting used to the craziness, are you?" I teased.

"It rubs off, I guess!" she laughed, sitting down next to Katy as she had the last time.

"So I can tell Jesse?" I smirked.

"NO!" she laughed.

"Katy, you remember the way things work here, right? It's OK to ask Lauren to dinner any time you want."

"Not very subtle, Steve!" Katy laughed.