Chapter 37: Sensei Steve

March 6, 1989, Chicago, Illinois

"Are you OK?" I asked Veronica at breakfast.

She'd seemed a bit out of sorts the night before when we'd left the sauna, and was quieter than usual this morning.

"Yes, I'm sorry. It was just a bit overwhelming. I just need some time to process it. It was strangely liberating being in there naked without any of the guys staring at me. I would never have expected that."

"Because nudity and sex do not have to go together," Kara said. "That's probably the most important thing any of us learned from Steve."

"Speak for yourself!" Jessica smirked.

Veronica, Elyse, Kara, and Alejandra, who were in the kitchen, all laughed.

"I meant philosophically, you nympho!" Kara teased.

"I think somebody missed having her husband in bed last night," Elyse grinned. "I sure didn't!"

"Watch it, Elyse!" Jessica said, trying to sound stern. "You are on borrowed time!"

"As long as I can borrow him from time to time!" Elyse retorted.

"Now you see what they're REALLY like," Alejandra said. "They've been well-behaved around you until last night."

"Except Jesse," Veronica said. "That kid is a holy terror!"

"Have you noticed that Birgit is starting to control him," Kara smirked.

"Yes. She'll ask for something and he'll just do it and give her a kiss on the forehead like her dad does."

"The women have ALWAYS been in charge of Steve's life," Jennifer said, bringing Jesse into the kitchen.

"Good to know!" Veronica laughed. "Good morning, Jesse!"

"Hi! I'm ready to play!"

"You heard the man, Jen," I chuckled.

She put Jesse down and he headed for the sunroom with Matthew in tow. Birgit, who was still crawling, couldn't keep up, so Veronica scooped her up and carried her after the boys.

"So, it's Sensei Steve as of today!" Jennifer laughed.

"Officially tomorrow," I said. "But I'm leading all the classes today. Sensei Jim is just observing."

"Good luck! I need to get off to work. The drive is a royal pain in the butt, but I love the work at Tellabs!"

"Have a good day, Jen!" I wished. "I need to get going as well. I can't afford to lose even a minute of work, given the way the classes are scheduled. Have a good day at school and work," I said to my wives.

We all kissed, I hurried to the sunroom to kiss my kids goodbye, and then started my walk to the office. I still wasn't sure what to say to Zeke. He'd been a bit cool to me after the revelation in the sauna. Elyse thought it might be best to just let it go, but I felt at a minimum I should talk to Terry and get his take. She'd agreed that was a reasonably safe approach, given his attempt to defuse the situation the previous night.

I was the second one into the office on Monday morning; Cindi liked to get in calls to the East Coast as soon as law firms and doctors' offices opened. She'd had more luck getting people on the phone first thing, and worked that to her advantage. I waved to her and went to my desk. As usual, when Kimmy came into the office, she stopped at my door to say 'Hi' and see how I was doing. I very much enjoyed seeing her, especially when she turned to walk away!

When Terry came in, I got his attention and waved him over. He came into my office and shut the door.

"How is he?" I asked.

"A bit pissed, but I think he'll be OK. I had no idea."

"Nobody was supposed to know," I said. "It's complicated, as I'm sure you can imagine."

"Will you answer one important question?" he asked.

"Yes. And I know what it is, and it's the right one to ask. It was before she and Zeke went on their first date. It's been over for a long time."

"Good. That means he has nothing to complain about. They slept together before they were a serious couple, so he'd be a hypocrite to complain."

"I agree with you, but people don't always think rationally about things like that."

"Honestly, trust me on this, Boss. I can't go into details, but he can NOT complain. OK? If he does, I'll straighten him out. If he comes to you, send him to me."

That was an interesting revelation. I wondered exactly what had gone on between the four of them. I wondered if their tight bond as a group had to do with some experimentation. That would make sense, and knowing Penny, she'd have been the instigator. But the idea of Tasha swapping with Penny was so far beyond the pale that I couldn't begin to imagine it happening, despite the fact that I just had! Of course, I'd been surprised about Stephie being willing to do the same thing years ago. Maybe it wasn't as crazy as I thought. But it was none of my business.

"I'll do that. Thanks, Terry."

"Actually, I need to thank you. We're going to have a double-wedding. It seems the bug you put in Penny's ear worked. Thanks."

I laughed, "Good. As we said, she's as stubborn as I am."

"Yes, but she just needed you to tell her it was OK. You two have a really odd relationship. I know what happened between you two from her fifteenth birthday to her sixteenth. But now it's almost like you're her dad, not her Big Brother. She really looks up to you."

"I know. I just hope I did the right thing," I said.

"You did," he said.

"You're sure about the double wedding after last night's little revelation?"

"Zeke will be fine," Terry said. "But I have to say, Boss, that sauna full of hotties? Damn! You and Hugh Hefner!"

"Minus his money," I chuckled. "And the photographers!"

"Keep things going like they are now around here, and you'll have plenty of money. Maybe not Playboy Mansion levels of money, but you sure have the Bunnies! I think you can probably dispense with the photographers."

"I think so, too. Thanks for the chat, Terry."

"You're welcome, Boss!" he grinned.

We shook hands, and he went to his desk. When Tasha came in, she made several furtive glances towards my office, but didn't come to talk to me. I'd have to wait it out and see what happened. I was still cross with Leila, but I couldn't un-ring the bell. And yelling at her would have very likely made things worse.

At the staff meeting, Zeke gave me a couple of hard stares, but said nothing. When the meeting broke up, Terry took him aside, and I went back to my office. About ten minutes later, I looked up to see Terry at his desk, giving me a thumbs-up. I let out a sigh of relief and got back to work.

March 8, 1989, Chicago, Illinois

I arrived at the dojo a couple of minutes before noon and unlocked the doors. I went into Sensei Jim's office — my office! — and shut the door. I quickly put on my gi and folded my clothes and put them in the cupboard with the soap and deodorant I'd brought to the dojo so I could shower.

My students arrived and went to the changing rooms and were lined up so that I could start at exactly 12:10pm by the dojo clock. I'd watched how Sensei Jim had run this class all the previous week, so I knew what to do. After we all bowed, I began the stretching routines and followed up with exercises. Keeping an eye on the clock, I completed the exercise routines and had the six students line up in front of two bags and take turns throwing punches and kicks that I barked out, watching for technique and form. I corrected a few errors, and precisely at 12:50pm, I ended the class.

Everyone quickly went to the changing rooms to shower and leave. When the last person had left, I locked the doors, then got my things and went to take a quick shower. I marveled at the fact that I was running a dojo. I'd talked to Sensei Jim early on Tuesday morning to say goodbye, and he'd reiterated his confidence in me. His confidence gave me confidence. I finished my quick shower, dressed, and headed back to work.

I was back at the dojo at 3:15pm to open the doors for the 3:30pm class. For this one, all the middle school kids showed up already dressed, but I had to clap my hands hard to get their attention and get them to line up. I'd noticed that the previous week and wondered why Sensei Jim wasn't more stern with them.

"Listen up!" I said, taking my spot in the front of the class. "When you come into class, it's OK to talk to your friends, but I want you lined up and quiet at 3:28pm. I shouldn't have to clap my hands and wait for you to quiet down and then figure out your spots. You need to be ready to go at 3:30pm. Got it?"

"Yes, Sensei!" several of the students said.

I suppressed a sigh, and repeated a touch louder, "Got it?"

This time, they all responded. I was confused about the lack of discipline, especially given how things were handled at night and on Saturdays. Sensei Jim had about fifty total students, and this dozen seemed to be a bit rowdier, and a bit less well trained. And I didn't understand. I should have asked him, but I hadn't figured out how to do that before he'd left. But it was my dojo for the next six months.

Ichirō had been at the dojo the previous night and had said he felt I had things well in hand with the adults. Of course, he was watching a class that I'd taught for many months since my promotion to 2nd Dan. I was happy to have him there, since I was sure to need his experience and advice before too long. I ran the students through the class, and when we ran out of time, lined them up and dismissed them. And that's when I discovered the problem.

"You are WAY too harsh with these kids!" a mom with glasses and her hair up in a bun said.

"And you are?"

"Liz Young. My son is Bobby, the yellow belt there."

"Well, Ms. Young, I run my classes a bit differently from how Sensei Jim runs his. And for me, discipline is the key to success."

"I don't want you talking like that to my Bobby!" she demanded.

"Or my Jimmy!" another woman added.

I suppressed a heavy sigh, "And you are?"

"Janet Klausen. My son is Jimmy, the white belt."

"Ladies, I didn't yell at them. I didn't scream at them. I simply informed them that they had to line up and be quiet without me clapping my hands and waiting for them to do it. They're all old enough to understand basic discipline."

"They're here to have fun with their friends!" another mom protested.

I was being gang-tackled by women who I wanted to tell to get the fuck out of my dojo. But I couldn't do that, because it wasn't MY dojo, not permanently.

"Yes, they are. And they're here to learn karate. A big part of that is discipline. Knowing when to use it and when not to use it. Being able to stay in control."

"They're ten!" the third mom protested. I later found out she was Sue Jackson, mother of Cathy Jackson, a yellow belt.

"Yes, and in the evening classes, we have a ten-year-old with a blue belt. And a seven-year-old with a green belt."

"They aren't going to get into fights! This is good exercise and they have fun!" Ms. Klausen objected.

"I used to think that way," I said. "But kids need discipline. Not just in the dojo, but in their lives. It's an important life skill!"

"What do you know about kids?" Ms. Young asked.

"I have three of my own, and I've been teaching at the dojo, mostly working with teens, for years."

I began to wonder if this was some kind of setup by Sensei Jim. Perhaps he'd let this get out of control and couldn't, or wouldn't, rein it back in. He'd told me that my style was different, and that I should be careful to follow his style. But in this case, I thought he was wrong. The problem was, I didn't want my first solo experience to result in the kids all quitting, or worse, their parents pulling them out of the dojo.

I clapped my hands hard and got the attention of the five students still left in the dojo, which included the three who belong to the moms who were berating me.

"Do any of you think I was mean to tell you to line up on time without being told?"

All five of them shook their heads from side to side.

"And is it something you will do?" I asked.

They all nodded.

"There you have it," I said. "Democracy in action. The kids are fine with it. Please let me try it my way."

"I still don't like it," Liz Young said. "This isn't the Army!"

No, it wasn't. And if she thought being made to line up on his own was stressful and inappropriate for her kid, I didn't think he had a ghost of a chance of being successful. I'd seen parents like this before. Their little angels were never to be disciplined or told 'no' or anything like that. It was a recipe for disaster. These would be the same parents who tried to treat their teenagers like toddlers. And that was something I simply couldn't abide quietly.

"No, it's not the Army, but it is a sign of respect and self-discipline. Two things every adult should strive to exercise."

For my words of wisdom, I received three glares, each of which grew stronger when all three of their little 'angels' bowed and said 'goodbye' to me as they left.

I locked the doors, had a quick shower, and then went back to the office. I thought about calling Ichirō, but decided that Sharon might be a better choice in this case. I looked up her number in my Rolodex and called her. She laughed when I explained the situation.

"Congratulations. You just angered the 'Helicopter Parent Army'. The bane of every instructor, whether it's dance, karate, ice hockey, or whatever you can imagine. Little Billy and Little Betty are spoiled brats who get everything they want. It's probably worse for you living in the Hyde Park area because those moms are probably stay-at-home and have husbands who make big bucks as doctors, lawyers, or executives. They'll chew you up and spit you out."

"I don't think so," I said. "I appealed to the kids, who all seemed to respond OK. I'm just curious why Sensei Jim let things develop this way."

"Sometimes it just happens. And he has a soft-spot for kids that age. You do not appear to have one."

I chuckled, "No, I don't. For little kids under the age of about seven, yes. But at that point, they need to start acting like adults, at least in very specific circumstances. Obviously, I make allowances, but not for a classroom or dojo. By the time they're teenagers, they ARE adults, despite what these over-protective parents think. I know the trend in society is against me, but I'm going to do whatever I can to affect my little corner of the world."

"Just be prepared for some grief. On the plus side, they can't run to Jim and complain, so you have six months to work it out. On the downside, they could pull their kids from the dojo."

"They could. But if I connect with the kids, I don't think they will."

"It's your dojo for now," Sharon said. "But remember, you have to turn it back to Jim in September. And he won't be happy if you give it back to him broken."

"I know," I said. "Thanks for listening."

"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow evening."

I hung up and put the dojo out of my mind for the remaining time I had at work. I wouldn't be at the dojo for the evening class because Jolene was running things, but I did have to head straight from the office to the counseling meeting. I met Jessica and Kara just outside NIKA's front door, and we walked to the medical office building.

So far, I hadn't been impressed with Doctor Green, though when I thought back to all my conversations with Doctor Mercer, I remembered that there was a LOT of talking that didn't seem to be going anywhere at the time. In the end, though, she had helped me quite a bit. The same had been true for Anala, who, while not a trained therapist, knew how to get me to talk to her about the deepest of subjects.

I'd completed the homework, though I wasn't particularly satisfied with my answer — to be happy, first and foremost, and to have a positive impact on the people and the world around me. It was true, but it seemed trite. The thing was, that beyond my desire to have grandchildren, I didn't have anything that was driving me. Yes, of course, I enjoyed programming and running NIKA. Yes, of course, I loved being with my family and friends. But, in the end, being happy and making others happy was the only goal I had.

I didn't see Jessica's or Kara's answers, but I could guess. Kara's absolutely had to do with being a mom — the one thing she wanted more than anything in her life. Jessica's, I was certain, had to do with being the best trauma surgeon in the universe. But beyond that, I had no idea what they might have written. And that, I strongly suspected, was the point of this exercise.

Doctor Green was gathering information and searching for things that might divide or unite us. The former, we'd have to work to eliminate, or at least minimize; the latter we'd have to strengthen. As much as I loved both girls, I had no clue how to actually be successful at what I was doing. I could certainly please them physically, and I knew how to pamper them. But meet their REAL needs? I didn't even know what those were.

It was easier with my kids. In a sense, they were blank slates on which I could write, though I was determined to only draw the most basic of outlines and encourage them to fill in the rest of the picture in the way they felt best. At the moment, it was fairly easy because they had very limited needs and demands. That was quickly changing as Jesse grew older, especially given that he seemed quite advanced for his age.