Chapter 32: The Truth...

February 10, 1989, To and from Lewiston, Maine

Every minute took me closer to Jessica. As the miles fell away behind me, I was listening to an 'alternative rock' station which Abbie had suggested, and I thought about the previous night. Abbie had stayed until about 5:45am, when she'd left to go to her room so she could shower and dress. I'd gone down to breakfast, and she'd acted as if nothing had happened the previous night, most likely due to her parents' presence. She'd simply waved and said 'goodbye' when I settled my bill and left.

The night had been quite an adventure. A 20,000 volt adventure, according to Abbie. I'd done what she'd asked, and put my tongue where her snake's tongue couldn't reach, but she'd had to convince me to bite her clit. 'Pleasure and pain,' she'd said. She'd cum hard when I did that, just as she did when she was riding me and had me bite her nipples. I'd learned something else, when she'd ridden me facing my feet and demanded I put my finger in her ass. She'd done the same to me when she blew me later, making ME cum hard enough to almost pass out. She'd been surprised when I'd French kissed her immediately following the blowjob and even more surprised when I went down on her and pushed my tongue deep inside after cumming in her for the third time.

I looked down at my hand on the shifter and saw the black leather bracelet with small studs in it that she'd given me in the morning, along with a kiss, and an invitation to return to discuss music and have sex. I didn't know when I'd be back this way, but I thought I might figure out a way to take her up on it because I was very curious to see what pierced nipples looked like, and EXTREMELY curious to see if she'd pierce her clitoral hood. Her final words to me had been ones she'd said in various forms many times during our short time together — 'Promise me that you'll get out more'.

I stopped for lunch just outside Lewiston, opting for a roadside diner rather than a national chain. The cute waitress flirted lightly, though I simply let it pass with a smile. When I finished my lunch, I paid the bill, left a generous tip, and got back in my car. I drove the final fifteen miles and pulled into the lot of the facility in Lewiston. I was nervous as I got out of the car and walked towards the double doors that led to the reception area where I'd last seen Jessica.

I took a deep breath, pulled the doors open, and walked inside. I went to the desk and informed the nurse, the same one I'd seen two months earlier, that I was there to pick up Jessica. She asked me to sit and placed a call.

"She'll be about ten minutes, Mr. Adams. She's completing the paperwork for her discharge now."

"Thanks," I said.

I sat back and closed my eyes, running through all the things I wanted and needed to talk to Jessica about, rehearsing everything from my greeting to my confession to my response to whatever it was she had to reveal to me. My mind went back to my conversation with Jorge, and how I might truly make Jessica my wife. I still wasn't sure exactly what that meant; I just knew that I hadn't done it before. My thoughts were disturbed by the sound of a latch clicking and a door opening. I opened my eyes and quickly stood up.

"Hi, Tiger," Jessica said quietly, dropping her bag to the floor.

"Hi, Babe," I responded, walking over to her.

I took her in my arms, kissed her softly, then pulled her tightly to me. She wrapped her arms around me and put her head on my shoulder and sobbed softly.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"It's OK. I love you and I'm here for you."

"Take me away from here, please," she whispered.

I released her and picked up her bag. I put my arm around her and started walking her out.

"Goodbye, Doctor Adams," the nurse said. "Good luck!"

"Thanks, Mary," Jessica answered.

"Thank you," I added.

We walked out the door and into the cold Winter air. I led Jessica to the car, put her bag in the back seat with mine, and then opened the door for her to get in. She sat down and buckled her belt, and I shut the door, then walked to the driver's side and got in.

"How far do we have to go today?" Jessica asked.

"Syracuse is about seven hours from here. We'll be there just before 9:00pm. Tomorrow's drive is just over ten hours."

"So we can sleep in a bit, then?"

"Yes. I figured we could talk while we drive, if that's OK."

"What about Kara?" Jessica asked.

"She and I discussed everything and jointly decided that you and I need some time together; probably a lot of time. I'm not sure the next thirty hours or so will be enough."

"I suppose you're right. Who goes first?"

"Me," I said. "I have some confessions to make."

"Wait, Tiger! Anything you've done between October 17th and today at 1:00pm doesn't matter."

"Jess," I protested.

"No. I don't care what you did or who you did it with. It doesn't matter. I mean that."

"Why?"

"Because it really doesn't matter. All that matters is that you're here with me now. I was afraid that I'd lost you."

"I feel the same way," I said.

"Then just let it go, please."

There was the issue of Kimmy, but I wasn't sure exactly what to do about that. Probably just let it end as it had the previous Saturday. Of course, Jessica might have new rules for me, and as I'd told Kara, Elyse, and Jennifer, I'd accept whatever conditions she set.

"If you're sure," I said.

"I am. There are no conditions for me coming back to you."

"And I have none either. Everything is on the table. We need to start over at the beginning."

"And where is that?"

"Jess, will you marry me?" I asked.

"Yes, I will," she said with a smile.

"That was easy!"

"Now the hard part starts," she said.

"Actually, no. We just did the hard part. The rest is just talking it all out. You could easily have left me or I, you. We've both made mistakes and now we're going to fix them. Admitting the mistakes is the hardest part."

"Which is exactly what the counselors told me when I first arrived in Lewiston. I have a lot to tell you."

"I'll say the same thing to you that you said to me," I said. "Whatever happened before I just asked you to marry me doesn't matter. I don't need to know."

"Yes, you do. I need to explain myself. If you just had a lot of crazy sex after I left you, that's not going to be news," she smirked.

"I do actually need to tell you one thing," I said. "I'll tell you all of it if you ask, but one thing I need to tell you."

"Please, please don't tell me you slept with Penny," she begged, suddenly worried.

I couldn't help but laugh, "No, I didn't. She offered, and I turned her down flat. But our little Penny is pregnant!"

"What?!" she gasped. "Terry?"

"Yes. She moved in with him right after Christmas. She's due towards the end of July. They had a mix-up with Penny's pills."

"How did Alice react?"

"She lost her mind for a bit, but Bart was a champ. Penny's really happy. Terry asked her to marry him, but she said 'not now'. She's going to leave her baby with Veronica while she's in school."

"Veronica is going to have her hands full! Elyse's baby, my baby, Penny's baby, plus the other three kids!"

"She says she's looking forward to it," I said. "I think she's nuts, but then again, anyone who lives in our house pretty much has to be."

"I'm glad you didn't sleep with Penny, Tiger. Not that I couldn't forgive you. I could and I would. But for her sake."

"I agree, Babe. That's why I didn't. That and my promise to you about her."

I'd broken my promise to Kara about Becky, but I couldn't share that beyond Elyse and Jennifer at this point, and perhaps never.

"So who then?"

"Kimmy Bradford," I said.

"Your receptionist? Oh, Steve, that's so dangerous!"

I nodded, "I know. But I can explain. And I think it makes sense, and ultimately, it's not as dangerous as you might think."

I described what had happened and why, and how I felt, and how Kimmy felt. I did leave out the 'love' part because I felt that was too difficult to explain at the moment, and it wasn't relevant as it might be for other people. I explained how Kimmy had helped me, and in the end, kept me sane and stable, much as Debbie V had done after Jennifer left. And finally, that Kimmy and I had agreed to end it when Jessica came home, and there were no bad feelings at all.

"Believe it or not, I totally understand," Jessica said. "Do you want to be with her again?"

"I don't know if that matters. I have to focus on you, and we have to create a proper relationship. And there's the whole situation with Kara as well."

"If you feel the need to see Kimmy, at least for now, do it."

"But what about your rules?" I asked.

"There are no rules, Tiger. No conditions, remember? We'll figure it all out and we'll do what we need to do to truly be married to each other. On our terms. Not the world's."

I nodded, "That's what Jorge and I talked about last Saturday."

"I've been married to my job, not you," she said. "I wanted a husband, and you seemed perfect for the job. You wouldn't interfere in my career, and you'd help me achieve what I wanted. And I could show you off."

Holy shit! I was a trophy husband! Just like her medical school classmates and their trophy wives! A whole bunch of things just fell into place and scales kind of fell from my eyes.

"I was a trophy husband? I'm not sure if I should be flattered or upset."

"You should be upset," she said. "I used you. I got exactly what I needed — a man who would let me do what I wanted to do in my career, provide orgasms on demand, and let me explore my fantasies. You also came complete with another girl who would keep you more or less occupied while I was gone, and who could let me play around with some strange desires I've had. I used her, too, you know."

"It doesn't matter," I said. "Kara and I both love you. We want to make this work for the three of us. But you and I need to sort things out first. That's what she wants. And it's what pretty much everyone has advised me."

We were quiet for several minutes, with just the hum of the tires and the soft music coming from the radio breaking the silence. When she didn't begin talking, I decided to prompt her.

"It's up to you what you want to tell me," I said. "But you told us that there was more to your past than what you'd told us."

"There is. I wasn't truthful with you. About quite a few things."

I gripped the steering wheel tightly, and visions of Jennifer ran through my head. Lies, deception, and deceit. I took a couple of deep breaths and let them out before I responded as calmly as I could. If I hadn't prepared myself for her saying that, or something like it, I most likely would have crashed the car when she spoke the words.

"I thought that might be the case after we talked in Michigan and after we arrived home," I said carefully.

"Let's start with when I was thirteen," Jessica began. "I was staying at my friend's house because my parents went away for a weekend. We'd done that pretty often, because my parents liked to get away for a weekend together every couple of months. It was part of them trying to keep their marriage together after my half-brother came into our lives.

"Anyway, my friend and I had always slept in the same bed, but this time it was different. We were playing around, pretending what it would be like to have sex with a guy, and at one point, she got on top of me. We were giggling and being silly, but then she leaned down and kissed me. At first I was shocked, but then I realized I liked it. She kissed me again just as her mom threw open the door. She'd heard us talking and giggling when we were supposed to be sleeping, and wondered what we were doing.

"We got lectured, and I was told never, ever to come back to my friend's house and to stay away from her. Her mom even called the school and told them I wasn't allowed to be near her daughter. They moved her to another class and if we even tried to sit close at lunch, the teachers made one of us move.

"I was really hurt, because I'd been the passive one, if you will. But her mom blamed me for corrupting her little angel. Until I kissed Kara, that was the last time I kissed a girl. I pushed those thoughts deep inside me. I don't think I was ever going to want to be with girls in general, but one close girl? That was probably always in the cards. At least once I admitted it to myself."

"I've known other girls like that," I said. "Girls who weren't into girls in general, but had one special girl who they would explore or experiment with."

"I need to tell you something very important now, Tiger. Something I've never ever told anyone since High School, at least until I got to Maine."

"Go on," I said with trepidation.

"I started drinking after that. A lot. It let me forget. I mostly did it at night before bed so I could fall asleep and not dream. But sometimes in the morning. Sometimes even at lunch. I managed to hide it from everyone for a long time. Tiger; I'm an alcoholic."

I took a deep breath and let it out.

"But you've drunk alcohol since we've been married. And I've encouraged you! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I have it under control," she said. "I don't feel the need to drink at this point. I haven't since the accident. Well, that's not quite true. When everything went to Hell back in October, I thought about it, but even then, I didn't drink. I wanted to, but I didn't. A lot of people don't think you can ever control things like that — that you have to abstain completely. And maybe you have to. But I've held it together since I was sixteen. Since that accident."

"That matches what you told me, though not the quantity of alcohol, but you did say you drank."

She took a deep breath and let it out. Something told me she was going to reveal something even darker, so I gripped the steering wheel and steeled myself for the revelation.

"Tiger," she said quietly. "I was driving the other car during that drag race."

That made the 'trophy husband' and alcoholism revelations pale by consideration. Something didn't add up, because if that were true, she never would have been able to graduate from High School on time. That was true even if all she'd done was go into a rehab clinic or some sort of juvenile facility. I'd seen her birth certificate and college diploma and everything lined up with regard to her age. She'd graduated High School at 18 and college at 22.

"But how?" I asked.

"I was in the wrong lane, and ahead by maybe a car-length. The driver coming towards me probably couldn't see the other car, and swerved to avoid me. They crossed the yellow line and ran head-on into my friend's car. I stopped as quickly as I could and got out and ran back. I could tell right away that they were all dead. And Tiger, it was me that had been drinking. Not my friend.

"Our other friends got to us right away, and one of the guys whose dad was a deputy Sheriff told me to leave and go home. He said he'd take the blame because he hadn't been drinking and his dad could protect him. He parked his car on the side of the road and walked to call the police and report the accident. Just to make sure there wasn't a problem, he told them I was there but had left before the race."

"I, uh, don't know what to say," I said.

"I killed them, Tiger. I was so far gone that I didn't even see the headlights. I didn't slow down and swerve out of the lane like we were supposed to. When the police arrived, they saw the accident, and it was clear to them that the other car, the one with the woman and her daughter in it, had crossed the double-yellow line and hit my friend's car. They wrote up the report that way. My friend didn't get in any trouble because there was nobody alive to say different. I guess he realized that would be the case, and that's why he told me to go home. I got off scot-free. I killed three people and got off scot-free."