Chapter 29: Five Cents, Please...

February 2, 1989, Chicago, Illinois

"Father, bless!" I said, greeting Father Basil at our usual diner in Bridgeport.

"The Lord bless you, Stephen," he said, making the sign of the cross over my upturned palms.

I kissed the back of his hand and then we sat down in a booth.

"I haven't seen you for some time. I talked to Andrei, but he said he doesn't see you, and Tasha hasn't been to church since last Summer."

"A lot has happened since the last time I was at Saint Innocent of Moscow," I said.

"I'm guessing that's what you want to talk about."

"Yes, but it might take more than an hour. Do you have the time?"

"Yes, of course."

I began with the paternity suit and worked my way forward, stopping briefly so we could order. I'd come to the events of Thanksgiving when our food arrived, and after a brief prayer, I continued. Father Basil let me talk, asking only a couple of questions, until I brought the story forward to the present time. I left out all the sex, because that wasn't particularly germane to the story, and would only have caused a needless discussion about purity that would do nothing to further my quest.

"Well," he said, "that is a lot to take in. Would you say that you and Jessica have reconciled?"

"No. I'd say we agreed to reconcile. There's a whole lot of talking and counseling that has to happen to put us back on an even keel."

He nodded, "I would agree. If we leave aside the whole triple marriage issue for a moment, and deal only with your legal marriage, I'd say that you've done the best you were able, given the circumstances. Just to be clear, this other young woman, with the little girl, she's not part of your life at all?"

"No. I was with her once, and once only. She dumped me because she didn't want to fall in love with me. Supposedly, the baby was the result of that single coupling, but the DNA test says incontrovertibly otherwise."

"But you were prepared to take responsibility for this child if the test came back showing you were the father?"

"Yes, of course. We've discussed my position on abortion."

"I'd be happy if all Orthodox Christians held your view, despite it not being the view of the Church. We have too many people who believe that it is a convenience which they are able to avail themselves of, despite the clear teachings. But, I'm getting off track. Jessica, because of this child, was threatening to abort your baby? Or actually, attempted to, but was thwarted by bad health?"

"That's right."

"Well, praise God that didn't happen. I can't see where you did anything wrong up to Thanksgiving, at least through your lenses. I do detect that you aren't telling me everything, though."

I smiled, "And how do you detect that?"

"Years of listening to confessions. I can usually tell when someone is leaving out important information. It's a bit easier for Orthodox priests as we do confessions face-to-face. Most Roman Catholics still use the confessionals or a screen, though it's slowly changing."

"Let's agree that I've told you everything relevant to my relationship with Jessica. The other stuff would be my issues to deal with, or yours, I suppose, were this actually confession."

"So you worked yourself into a manic state while being depressed. Is that a safe characterization?"

I nodded, "I hadn't thought it that way, but yes, I'd say that's reasonably accurate."

"But you've more or less reverted to normal?"

"After a beating by my closest friends," I said with a smile.

"I'm curious, how do you decide what's right and wrong?"

"For myself? I do the least harm possible. For others, I more or less mind my own business and let them decide what they want to do."

"So, from your perspective, then, sex outside of marriage causes no harm?"

"Not in and of itself."

"I suppose that view doesn't surprise me, given your relationships with Jessica, Kara, and the mothers of your boys."

"I had a discussion on this topic with the parish priest at my mom's church when I was fourteen. I suspect you won't make any more progress than he did in convincing me that the Scriptures or the Church are the final word on that kind of thing. He then refused me communion, and I gave up on church at that point. I found it unreasonable for a celibate man to give advice about sexual relationships.

"Now, their views and yours are quite different on that matter, both at their root and at their implementation. I think it's a good thing that the Orthodox Church ordains married men. Granted, your bishops are selected only from celibate priests and monks, but most parish priests are married. That priest back home was required to be celibate while you're married and have two pre-teen sons."

"Was fourteen when you became sexually active?" Father Basil asked.

"Yes."

"Which was a source of the conflict with your mom that we've discussed at length."

"One of many, but probably the biggest one, yes."

"You seem to believe that there's no harm in pre-marital or extra-marital sex, but I'd say the paternity suit was a pretty bad result, wouldn't you?"

I nodded, "Yes."

"And you'd admit that you can't always know what the harm will be or when it will occur?"

"Sure."

"So, would you consider having had intimate relations with that young woman as having done the least harm?"

"Probably not, but there was no way to know the long-term effects."

"But had you not done it, all these crazy events wouldn't have occurred."

"Those specific events probably would not have occurred. But you can't live your life completely paralyzed by potential negative outcomes from your actions! If you start thinking that way, you won't get out of bed in the morning!"

"That's true, but don't you think there's a difference between getting up, driving to work, and so on, and having sex with a girl?"

"Sure," I chuckled. "But I'm not sure you want to hear my answer."

"I will certainly agree that sex is pleasurable, and fulfilling, in the right context, but hedonism is problematic."

"And why is that? Maximizing net pleasure is hardly a vice," I said. "Should we seek to suffer?"

"No, but is pleasure the ONLY value?"

"No, of course not. But I fear on this topic we're going to simply keep charging down different rabbit trails and wind up nowhere. We can discuss spiritual matters in depth and probably come to some agreement. We can probably discuss any other moral issue you like, but sexuality and sexual activity will just tie us in knots."

"That's probably true," Father Basil said. "But will you admit that many of your issues stem from your sexual relationships?"

He did have a point. The conflicts with my mom were certainly more about sex than anything else. Then there were the problems with Becky; my entire relationship with Jennifer; Melanie's suicide attempt the conflict with Kara's dad, Kara's and my threesome with Joyce; the misunderstandings with Dona B; the whole current issue of Carla and her daughter, Rachel; the rift between Prudence and Patience; the problems between Stephanie's friends; the near-miss disaster with Hope; and the issue with Kaitlin. And I was probably forgetting quite a bit.

I nodded, "Yes, I suppose I would."

"So perhaps there's some wisdom in the teaching of the Scriptures and the Church?"

I smiled, "Perhaps."

"So can we go back to my original question about how you decide what is right and wrong?"

"Sure. I choose the course of action, or the belief, that does the minimal amount of harm, interferes the least in other people's lives, respects their rights, and provides them with the maximum freedom. I strive to be happy and make others happy. I suppose a shortcut is to say that I try to love everyone as I am loved, and follow the rule of doing unto others as I would have them do unto me."

"That is the basic essence of how to behave as a Christian. But it is not the basic essence of Christianity."

"Mystical union with God, through the god-man, Jesus Christ."

Father Basil smiled broadly, "And what are we saved from?"

"Death. Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tombs, bestowing life."

"Steve, if you believe THAT, you're Orthodox. Your behavior may not be, but your thinking is."

"If I were to believe in any god, affirmatively, that's what I would believe. The Orthodox worldview matches in so many ways what I've discovered during my quest. I'm not sure I buy 100% of the theology across the board, but the view of who man is, and what his place in this world is, fits with what I see."

"Of course it does! Orthodoxy believes in revealed truth that is discoverable. We believe what has been taught always, everywhere, by all."

I smirked, "Which is why there were seven Ecumenical Councils?"

"It's perspective. The councils were called to correct error, not express new theology. So yes, they made statements, but those statements reflected the teachings that the assembled bishops taught in their own churches."

"I'm not quite sure I buy that, given at one point most of the world had gone Arian."

"But you see, that was not what was taught always, everywhere, by all. It was new. What the Ecumenical Council proclaimed against Arius was that he had invented something. Something they rejected. There is nothing wrong with our understanding evolving over time, but Arianism is incompatible with historical Christianity."

"Is it true that Santa Claus slapped Arius at the Council?" I said with a smirk.

Father Basil chuckled, "It is reported that Saint Nicholas of Myra, which was in Lycia, did indeed slap Arius for proclaiming heresy."

"So I'm guessing Arius is on the 'naughty' list for eternity?"

"An anathema against his teachings is a pretty good indication of that. Whether or not he is in hell is between him and God. We are willing to state, unequivocally, that saints are in heaven. The occupancy of hell is unknown. That said, it is probably reasonable to assume that Judas and Arius are in hell, based on some of the hymns of the church during Lent and Holy Week. But I would never unequivocally say so. You could always ask the Bishop for an 'official' answer."

"Which, from my interactions with His Grace, would be even more equivocal than yours on this topic."

"Likely so. With great power comes great responsibility."

"Spiderman?" I chuckled.

"No, Winston Churchill, though the source is really the Scriptures — Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required."

"Luke 12:48," I said.

"How do you do that?" Father Basil chuckled.

"I've read the Bible quite a bit, and still do from time to time. But memorable phrases like that stick in my mind. I used to do stuff like that with Kara's dad before he died. He took it as a sign I could be brought into their evangelical, fundamentalist fold. He was sorely mistaken."

"I'll say! As far away as you might be from becoming Orthodox, there is no chance you would ever accept such a destructive theology as an explanation for the universe."

"No, I certainly wouldn't."

"Come to church again, Steve. Bishop ALYPY will be visiting in a few weeks, on the 19th. I'm sure he will be happy to see you."

"And my two wives? And my children?"

"Just be circumspect. You won't be the first person in our church to have children out of wedlock, though your situation is a bit more, well, extreme. Do me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"Try to get Tasha to come to church."

"All I can do is let her know you asked about her. She has to make her own way and her own choices."

"Don't we all," he said. "Don't we all."

February 3, 1989, Chicago, Illinois

Kimmy was in the office early on Friday morning because her friend was coming to interview with me for the receptionist position. She came to the door of my office about ten minutes after I'd arrived.

"I see some time blocked on your calendar this afternoon as out of the office that wasn't there yesterday."

"I need to go over to UofC for something personal. It's no big deal."

"OK. Usually you don't write things in yourself."

"I only got confirmation last night. I wrote it in about five minutes ago so I wouldn't forget to tell you."

"Is everything OK for tomorrow?"

I'd talked to Kara and had also called Chris Gibson to let her know that I wasn't able to visit her over the weekend. Chris had been disappointed, though she told me that she hoped things might change, and if they did, I should let her know. Kara had simply smiled and told me to have fun. I was fairly sure that Kara agreed with me that Jessica would put an end to my time with Kimmy, and as such, she was giving Kimmy a final Saturday with me, Elyse's advice to the contrary notwithstanding.

"Yes. I can stay as late as you want me to."

She flashed me a huge smile and her eyes twinkled, "Great!"

"Just bring Keri in when she arrives," I said.

"I will! I'll bring in some coffee in five minutes."

She did that, and about ten minutes later, she brought in a cute brunette with a pageboy haircut and a winning smile.

"Steve, this is Keri Smalling. Keri, this is my boss, Steve Adams, the owner of NIKA Consulting."

"Hi, Mr. Adams!" she said in a voice that was soft and sexy, but also bubbly.

"If you call me that again, I'll have Kimmy show you out!" I chuckled. "Everyone calls me Steve. There IS a Mr. Adams, but that's my dad, and he sits on our Board of Directors."

She smiled even more broadly, "OK, Steve!"

Kimmy, who was standing behind Keri, winked at me, then shut the door and went back to the reception area.

"Coffee?" I asked.

She nodded, and I poured cups for both of us. At her request, I added a teaspoon of sugar and a dollop of cream to her cup and handed it to her. I waved towards the couch and she sat down, while I sat in one of the comfortable chairs just to the side.

"Why do you want to work here?" I asked.

She smiled, "Kimmy told me to be direct! First of all, it pays better. Second, there's room for advancement. Third, everyone is treated very well here. Fourth, you are the best boss who ever existed!"

I chuckled, "We do value people being direct here. This will be quite different from being a clerk in a bookstore, don't you think?"

"Well, of course it will! But if you think about it, I greet customers, answer the phone, take messages, get information, look things up on the computer, answer questions, and I do anything else that anyone needs."